A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, and sorry its not insanely long. I've had serious writers block. Ew, right? Oh, and if you don't know the song, look it up. Its amazing, so is the band! And ooh a cliffhanger! I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but until then, enjoy!
Quinn walked through the halls of McKinley on Monday morning, broken. She had never felt so hollow in her entire life. Her hair was a mess, and her clothes weren't coordinated. She didn't care though, she didn't care about anything except Rachel.
She was glad she had come to school early, there were hardly any people around, but even the few she did see were already looking at her as though she were an alien, and she assumed the rest of the day would follow accordingly. She sighed to herself as she unlocked her locker and heard a snicker from the end of the hall. She rolled her eyes and walked in the opposite direction, sitting outside of her homeroom class, scrolling through texts on her phone before starting a new message.
To: Santana
Get your ass to school -Q.
She let her phone drop in her lap as she leaned her head against the wall, try to keep in a choked sob. She took a deep breath and before she could exhale her phone buzzed.
I'm on my way. -S
Quinn got up and walked back down the hall, out to the southern carpark to wait for Santana arrive. It didn't take long before Santana was pulling up and practially jumping out of her car and running to throw her arms around Quinn in comfort.
"Are you okay?" she whispered as she hugged tighter, Quinn slowly moving her hands to Santana's back lightly, as though if she touched her she would set fire to her.
"No.." Quinn whispered as she let out a sob, a tear escaping her eye before she could stop it.
"Oh, Q," Santana said, moving back from Quinn, wiping the tear from her cheek before putting an arm around her and turning them to walk back inside.
"I just- I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end," Quinn choked out as they walked. Santana continued to comfort her through homeroom and their first class together, Quinn barely holding herself together, but refused to shed a tear when people besides Santana were around. Quinn saw Rachel in homeroom, her heart wrenching when Rachel didn't even look her way, but Kurt looking over to her with pitying eyes, almost as though he felt bad that their relationship had terminated. Through their first period, Santana and Quinn passed notes. Santana writing witty jokes to try and make Quinn smile, and then comforting words if it didn't work.
Then a realisation hit Quinn at the beginning of recess. Her next double period was with Rachel, and not only with Rachel but sitting next to her. She had no idea how she would handle herself, compose herself. She didn't voice her thoughts to Santana, in fear of Santana telling her not to go to that class. She wanted to go to that class, she wanted to see if she could talk to Rachel, if Rachel would even look her way. So when the bell for the end of recess rung, she trudged down the hallways to her locker and saw Rachel waiting by the room as she turned the corner to a new hallway, her heart skipping a beat as she caught sight of the brunette.
She walked towards her, focussing on putting one foot in front of the other. She'd lost everything and she wasn't about to make a fool of herself on top of that.
The blonde stood about 4 feet away from the brunette, the door between them. She didn't make eye contact and didn't make the effort to have any contact yet, knowing they had a whole double period of sitting together.
When the teacher arrived, the students that had gathered swarmed inside and as soon as the teacher turned her back to write something on the board, Quinn felt 20 odd pairs of eyes shoot in her direction, as though they were trying to dig into her brain and know what she was thinking, or if something would happen. Quinn felt her cheeks heat up and looked down at her page, wondering what she could write to Rachel that could help the situation.
She had nothing.
So she grabbed a spare piece of paper from the back of her folder, and grabbed a pen.
Rach, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
She cautiously passed the note to Rachel, feeling he heat of the person behind her as they leaned forward to try and see what was written. Luckily, Rachel hid it from sight and scribbled back, to Quinns relief. She had been fearing all morning that if she wrote to Rachel she would simply scrunch it up or worse, tell their teacher; which is why Quinn wrote something simple, in case it were read aloud.
I'm over it. Just please don't talk to me.
Quinn felt her eyes burning as she read the reply, but quickly calmed herself so she didn't seem weak, settling for a lump in her throat.
Why can't we talk about this? Why is it such a bad thing that people found out, I mean your dads are gay! This can't be such a big deal.
Rachel rolled her eyes.
Yes, because having 2 gay dads makes it so much easier. I wanted to come out when I was ready, do you know the new names that people have come up with now? And clearly you don't understand any of this.
Quinn could tell Rachels bitchy tone in her handwriting. Her stomach turned at the words.
Well I'm sorry I don't understand. Can't we just be together again?
Quinn quickly passed the note to Rachel, the brunette sighing quietly before scribbling on the page.
I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, we never should have happened.
Quinn felt her eyes sting and realised the tears were coming in a flood and she couldn't stop them, so she grabbed her unmoved books and ran towards the door.
"Miss Fabray!" the teacher shrieked, but Quinn continued running.
/`/
Quinn sat in the bathroom sobbing, having no idea how long she'd been there. Her chest felt constricted, and her eyes kept producing tears like a river and her thoughts were racing a mile a minute.
Then she stopped. She wiped her eyes and opened the toilet stall door and looked at her self in the mirror, leaning her hands on the basin. Get yourself together Fabray. All you need is a plan. She nodded to herself, A plan. Of course! Somehow, someway, she let me love her, she can do it again. She stood up straight and fixed her hair, checking the time and realising the bell would go soon and people would start coming in. She walked back to her locker and put her books in and walked out to where Santana, Brittany and herself sat during lunch break, and waited, pondering schemes to get Rachel back.
She planned on asking Santana about what to do, but before Santana had arrived, the perfect idea entered her mind, "A song!" she exclaimed to herself, just before the bell rang. She began going through a mental list of songs to try and think of the perfect song but she was stuck.
"Santana. I have an idea." Quinn stated as she saw Santana approaching.
"God, Fabray, you look horrible." Santana declared as she stared at the blonde.
"Yeah, thanks. Anyway, I have a plan to get Rachel back."
"Uh huh. And that is?"
"A song. I'm going to sing to her in Glee club and its going to be fantastic."
"That does sound like something Rachel would like.." Santana said, as though going deep in thought, "So what song?"
"Uh... I- I was hoping you'd help me with that."
"Really? You want my help for something that should be so easy?"
"Shut up okay, I though of this plan about 5 minutes ago and its a flawless plan, I just need to find the song." Quinn said, now looking at her hnds with particular interest, "And there's one more thing."
"And that is?"
"I want you and Brittany to help me. Just like, sway in the back and sing back up vocals."
"What are we, the lesbian quartet?" Santana said, omitting a smile from Quinn.
"Something like that, now come with me and we'll find Brittany and you can help me find the right song."
/`/
Quinn, Santana and Brittany sat in the library, Quinn and Santana flipping through a few books and Brittany staring at the ceiling, asking questions about cats.
"Well there's this band, Parachute. I've heard them before, maybe we should look them up." Quinn mumbled as she pointed to the top right of a page. Santana got her phone out of her jacket and looked up the band, listening to some of the songs.
"Can people grow cat whiskers?" Brittany said airily.
As Santana put on another song, Quinn listened intently, feeling the lyrics, the music, the song.
"That's the one."
"Are you sure?" Santana asked, her head shooting to look at Quinn.
"Positive."
The girls got up and left the library, going to the choir room to practise their song. Quinns breath left her as she saw Rachel in the choir room, her chest tightening as she saw Rachel spot her and quickly grab her shoes and slipping them back on before passing through the trio and becoming a stranger in the halls.
"I can't believe I lready forgot how much I loved that." Quinn said, fighting with the lump in her throat.
"Love what?" Santana asked, puzzled.
"When she's practising she takes her shoes off, because she always wears tights so she can slide around the room." Quinn said, smiling sadly as she reminisced. She sighed and walked over to where the drums and guitars were, picking up an acoustic guitar. She began to play, knowing the song by heart. Santana and Brittany watched her play, a tear falling down Quinns cheek as she sang the chorus. The girls watched in awe at the emotion on Quinns face, when Quinn played the last note and the room turned to silence, Santana clapped slowly and smiled to Santana.
"Perfect."
Quinn began talking to Santana, but was almost immediately distracted by Kurt walking past. She mumbled a quick 'excuse me' and ran out of the room,
"Kurt!" Quinn yelled, her voicemore shrill than she intended. Kurt turned around and his eyes widened to see the blonde rushing towards him, "You need to give me an honest answer."
"About what?" Kurt asked, puzzled.
"Rachel, do you think if I sing she'll forgive me?"
"Forgive you?"
"Yeah. I mean obviously you know about whats going on, everyone in this fucking school knows whats going on," Quinn said, glaring at a group of sophomores who were staring at her and whispering.
"Of course, I mean Rachel hasn't said too much about it but yeah," Kurt said, a little wide eyed.
"Well, if I sang do you think she'd.. respond in some way. I mean that's the only thing I can think of that she would relate to I mean she sings about every single thing and every emotion she has, right?" Quinn babbled.
"First, calm down." Kurt grabbed Quinns arms, "And yes, she does sing about everything so I think it would be a good idea."
"Thank you Kurt." Quinn mumbled.
"Its okay. And look," Kurt said, dragging Quinn into an empty classroom, "I've known from the moment you guys met that you were meant for each other. I see the way you two look at each other, even when you didn't realise, and she didn't, it was always there and you guys finally realised and now.." Kurt trailed off, looking at the ground and letting go of Quinns arm.
"Now I ruined it." Quinn stated.
"You haven't ruined it," Kurt looked at Quinn, making sure she realised what he was saying was true, "She's just, weird about people. Especially here, at this school. In this town."
"I know but I thought by now.."
"I know."
"So you think my idea will work?"
"Well I can't guarentee anything but honestly I think it might."
There was a long silence, Quinn still processing what Kurt had said.
"You knew all along about Rachel and I?"
"Yeah, I mean you guys.. even when you barely spoke, I mean it was there. There was that look in your eyes."
"Why didn't you say anything, to either of us?"
"Well, first I didn't want to freak you guys out and that might've ruined all chances of you two ever.. being something," Kurt made a weird gesture with his hands, "So I just waited, I knew it was only a matter of time, whether it was months, years, whatever."
Quinn smiled.
"What?" Kurt asked, a little bemused.
"I- thank you." Quinn hugged Kurt and quickly said goodbye before leaving the room and mentally planning the next few hours in her mind.
/`/
It was time, and Quinn felt her heart racing. She sat at the front of the choir room with Brittany and Santana, more nervous than she'd ever felt in her life. She looked around to her right and saw Kurt, who caught her eye and gave her a small thumbs up. She didn't dare look to the left, at Rachel sitting at the back of the choir room with nothing to say, making everyone feel uneasy.
As Mr Shuester walked in the class, Quinn felt her stomach turn because she new her moment was coming, and it terrified her.
"Hey guys! Its a new week, and a new weekly assignment! But first, Miss Quinn Fabray would like to perform something for us!" he announced comically.
Quinn gave a weak smile to Mr Shue as she stood up, taking her a second to turn around and face everyone, feelings their eyes burning into her.
"I-uh. I chose this song for, for someone. Its by Parachute, which I've been listening to a lot lately which is probably odd but uh, ahem, okay." Quinn babbled, looking at the ground in front of her as opposed to any of her classmates, "So uh, yeah. Guys," she nodded at the band members to her left and she heard a guitar begin slowly.
And I lost my faith, in my darkest days,
But she makes me want to believe.
Quinn looked straight at Rachel at this point, seeing the brunette wide eyed and looking a little caught off guard.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need.
Quinn took a step forward towards Rachel as she sang, trying to read Rachels blank expression.
It was all the same, all my pride and shame,
And she put me on my feet.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
They call her love, love, love, love, love.
She is love, and she is all I need.
Quinn gave pleading eyes to Rachel, her chest tightened as she laid everything on the line.
And when that world slows down, dear.
And when those stars burn out, here.
Oh she'll be there, yes she'll be there,
Quinn stopped walking as she stood at the bottom on the rows of chairs and continued looking at Rachel who would barely keep eye contact, making Quinns eyes well up, and forming a lump in her throat as she held in her tears.
She is love, and she is all I need...
As the song drew up a close and the guitar finished, Quinn didn't dare to look at the rest of the New Directions, but she knew all eyes were on her and Rachel, waiting to see what happened, but Quinn heard a faint, confused clapping to her left but she was focussed on Rachel.
"So..?" Quinn said, almost hopefully.
Rachel sighed and got up from her seat and walked down the rows of seats to meet Quinn face to face, standing about a metre apart. Quinn could feel the rest of the class leaning forward in anticipation. Rachel stood for a second before breaking eye contact and brushing past Quinn and out the door, beginning to run as soon as she got into the halls. Quinn didn't hesitate to run after Rachel, and she knew almost everyone was following slowly behind her.
"Rachel! Rachel wait!" Quinn called down the corridor as she ran after the brunette. Rachel ran out of a side door out into one of the parking lots, Quinn following behind calling out to her still, "Rachel, stop!"
Rachel halted and turned around to look at Quinn, her face a mix of anger and sadness, "No, you stop," she said in a tone that scared Quinn to her core, "You can't just do that to me okay? You humiliated me. And that's saying something. You know, I don't know what I was thinking okay, you barely even know me, Quinn."
Quinn chest tightened, doing everything in her power not to cry, "I don't know you, huh?" Quinn said, Rachel still glaring, "How about the fact that whenever you really connect to a song you cry?"
"Everyone in Glee knows that about me," Rachel said sternly, though her expression softened the slightest bit, and no longer making eye contact with the blonde.
"Okay, what about the fact that when someone slushies you, you throw out the clothes you were wearing, not because they're stained but because they give you bad memories, and the fact that you hate throwing things out because they have sentimental value, and that you crinkle your nose whenever something scares you or that you've seen Funny Girl 215 times, and that you blink when you cuss, and when you don't understand something you cross your legs and that you won't admit it but you like me. I know that about you. I know all of that about you, Rach."
There was a silence in which Rachel looked over at Quinn, the longest few seconds of Quinns life.
"That doesn't mean you know me, Quinn," Rachel went to turn away, "I'm sorry."
Quinns thoughts were racing a mile a minute and before she knew it, Rachel was on the street, crossing the road.
"No, Rachel wait," Quinn yelled after her, running to catch up with the brunette, "Please Rach!"
Quinn ran onto the road, her heart racing, eyes set on the brunette only a few feet away when-
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH