Unhelpful

After what felt like a kilometre of pushing - ok, maybe 50 metres in real terms - Noctis seriously considered asking Ardyn to have the Imperial military pick them up. Ignis had mobile phone reception again, but the phone at Hammerhead was busy at all times, by now at least 30 cars - ok, more like 5 - had passed them without even looking, and the sun was burning down relentlessly as they struggled to push their luxury vehicle forward.

"How come the chancellor hasn't had a heat stroke under all those clothes?" Prompto asked, panting as he braced himself against the A-pillar on the passenger side. "Just looking at him makes me dizzy!"

"Then don't look," Ignis retorted dryly from behind the steering wheel.

"Less talking, more pushing!" Gladio reminded them.

"Believe me, dear Prompto; I'd rather endure a heat stroke than expose myself to the sun," Ardyn replied. Neither Noctis' pleas, nor Ignis' diplomacy, Prompto's groans nor Gladio's threats of violence had been able to persuade him to help them push the car. At a safe distance from Gladio and his greatsword, the chancellor ambled along behind the Regalia.
"How about a break, actually?"

"From what?" Gladio retorted angrily. "You're not even helping."

"Of course I am helping. If it wasn't for me, someone might have run into us."

"Someone can run him over for all I care."

"We only rested five minutes ago," Ignis remarked.

Compared to the others, Noctis fared no better. He was sweaty. He was sticky. His palm were so hot they were almost burning. His arms and legs ached from the strain.
"Hey Iggy, isn't it my turn yet?"

"I know of no turns."

"C'mon, don't be like that!"

A buzz from the mobile on Ignis' ear caught his attention.

"It's ringing," Ignis stated in surprise. A moment later, Noctis heard someone answering the phone, though he could not understand what they were saying. "Hello?" Iggy replied. "We need a tow. We're currently some kilometres away from Hammerhead into the direction of Insomnia."

Prompto pumped his fists in the air. "We're saved! Finally saved!"

Fortunately, it was not long before the tow truck arrived – thanks in part to their hard work of pushing the Regalia this far. A bright yellow truck with a hammerhead shark emblem pulled up to the side of the road and the driver's side window rolled down to reveal a blonde, young woman behind the steering wheel. There were smudges of oil and dirt on her face, no doubt from working at the garage.

"Hey y'all!" she greeted the five of them. "Heard yer needin' a tow!"

"That's right," Noctis said and got up from where he and Prompto had been sitting to recover from their ordeal and to just … not die in Leide's heat in general.

The woman stepped out of the truck. "Ah, then you must be the prince paw-paw mentioned."

"And you are?" Gladio asked.

"I'm Cindy, Cid's grease-monkey granddaughter." She walked over to the back of her truck and nodded into the Regalia's direction. "Care to lend me a hand, yer Highness?"

Gladio went ahead, waving for the rest of them to follow. "C'mon now, we're almost there."

Groaning, Noctis got back to pushing the car, and so did everyone else. With the exception of the chancellor, of course.
When Cindy had finally secured the Regalia on the back of the truck, she removed her cap, wiped the sweat from her brow and shook her head.
"Have you actually seen the state she's in? Paw-paw's not gonna like this."

By the time they had arrived at Hammerhead and were done unloading the Regalia from the tow truck in front of the garage, Cid walked up to them. He was a scrawny old man wearing a dull red leather jacket and a matching cap, and moved with a hand pressed to his back.
"There y'are. Took yer sweet time gettin' 'ere."

His voice sounded rough, worn out with age, but even Noctis could tell by its tone that he was not too happy to see them or the Regalia. From what his father had told him, Noctis knew that Cid had been a friend to his family a long time ago, even before he had been born. Something had come between Regis and Cid, however, and they had not talked or seen each other in years. Yet despite of whatever had set them apart, Regis had advised Noctis before his departure to seek Cid's aid if they found themselves in need of repairs.

The old mechanic's first proper look passed over the Regalia. "I see you haven't been treatin' her right. She's not some beat-up ol' clunker, y'know?"
He turned his attention from the car to Noctis standing beside it and scoffed. "Prince, huh."

"Uh, yeah. What about it?"

Cid shook his head. "Prince," he repeated. "Like they took yer old man and kicked the dignity outta him."

"What?" Noctis uttered, taken aback by the insult.

Ardyn, who had kept to the background until then, chuckled.

"You still gotta lot of growin' up to do, son." Cid continued to walk around the Regalia, checking this and that, but not sparing any of them another glance. "She's gonna take a while, alright. Best make yerselves useful and roll 'er in. And while yer waitin', do yerselves a favor 'n get rid of that escort or whatever he calls 'imself. I could smell that Niff rat a mile away."

Ardyn audibly gasped. "Excuse me?"

At the sight of his perplexed expression, Noctis could not help but laugh.

Cid stopped and turned back to give the chancellor a hard look. "Ya 'eard me."

In response, Ardyn put his hands on his hips. "It appears to me you ought to treat your customers with more respect."

"This's my garage an' my customer's gettin' the respect they deserve," Cid replied and continued to walk off. "Ye should be lucky 'm havin' a good day."

"Ha. Turned it right back at ya," Noctis said to Ardyn, smirking.

The usual smug expression had melted off the chancellor's face. "Clearly, the man must be mistaking me for someone else."

"Oh, he doesn't," Gladio said.

"Well, y'all heard paw-paw," Cindy chimed in. "Right this way, please!"

With one last effort, they pushed the Regalia into the garage, then set off to see what little Hammerhead had to offer. Apart from the garage, there was a weapon salesman, a shop next to the petrol station for general goods, a diner and a caravan for rent. Only Ignis stuck around the garage to handle the matter of the repair costs.
Yep, boring old finances.
Or so Noctis had thought until he and Prompto discovered that the local shop did not accept their Crown City pocket money. As it turned out, they used a currency called "gil" in Leide and most other parts of the world. Noctis had known that, of course. It had simply slipped his mind.
Good thing Iggy always kept such things in mind for him.
When they met up in front of the petrol station, Ignis was talking to the chancellor.

"I have a feeling it might be best not to tell him where it's from," Ardyn said.

"Agreed."

Noctis had no idea what they were talking about, but it just so happened that Gladio joined them at that moment.
"What's going on over here?"

"Cid's cost estimate was … not very pleasing," Ignis admitted. "The costs for the tow truck alone swallowed a third of our travel funds."

Prompto looked slightly confused. "That's a lot, right?"

"Indeed, it is. I'm afraid we have to thank the chancellor for footing our bill or else we would be flat broke by now."

"Flat broke and broken down," Prompto added.

"Great, now we owe him money," Gladio complained, glaring at Ardyn.

"Not at all," the chancellor replied, shrugging. "If I hadn't spent the money on you, I might have used it to fund another hat collection, and I think we can all agree that your venture is the more worthwhile investment. Nonetheless, it would be good if we didn't break down more often. Otherwise, my savings will be exhausted as soon as yours."

"As for our savings ..." Ignis hooked. "It wouldn't be a bad idea to earn us some extra money while Cid takes care of the car."

"Let's ask the local tipster for hunts," Gladio suggested. "There are problems with monsters of some kind everywhere, and the jobs usually pay well."

Noctis could think of nicer activities than to keep walking through Leide's wasteland in the heat.

"How much money have we left?" he asked his advisor.

"Enough for room and board," Ignis replied. "But not enough to pay for the ferry to Accordo on top of that."

"No slacking, your Highness," Gladio teased Noctis. "We must pass the time somehow. Might as well do something for the people."

"I've never been any good at waiting around," Prompto said.

"Me neither," Noctis admitted.

"There was a report in the newspaper at the shop mentioning an aggressive dualhorn that's causing problems not too far from here," Ignis informed them.

For some reason, Ardyn looked most disappointed to hear that. "A dualhorn, is that all?"

"What kind of monster would you prefer?" Gladio asked. "Last time I checked you were a politician, not a professional hunter."

"But I know how to handle a sword." The chancellor chuckled darkly. "What's the meanest, deadliest creature around these parts?"

Prompto took a step back. "Now it's official: the chancellor wants to kill us."

Gladio glared at Ardyn. "You'll have to try harder if you want us to fall for that trap."

"Ah, but I was merely looking for a bit of excitement. Perhaps the next time, then?"

Vague memories of a fight between Ardyn and three magitek soldiers entered Noctis' mind. "Didn't you say you knew magic?"

"Oh yes, but no such magic as yours."

"What kind of magic then?"

"You know; card tricks. Pulling bunnies out of hats."

"Not buying it."

Ardyn laughed. "I can't let you in on every secret of the Empire, can I?"

As usual, it was Ignis who brought their conversation back on track. "So, what about that dualhorn?"

"I say, let's do it," Gladio replied and directed his attention back at Ardyn. "Do you wanna join or not, Mr. I-can-handle-a-sword?"

Ardyn waved it off. "I'll pass. To lure me back out into this wasteland it will take a little more than some runaway grazing animal, but don't let me stop you. Go get that reward and refill your treasury. Just take care to come back alive. A hunting accident would spoil the trip."

"What's that supposed to mean? You were the one trying to get us killed."

The chancellor passed over Gladio's remark. "I will wait for you in that diner over there. After all, I may assume you will return to collect your vehicle." And with that, he walked off, leaving the rest of their party alone in front of the petrol station's shop.

As soon as he was out of hearing range, Prompto spoke up. "Pretty full of himself for a chancellor, whaddaya think?"

"He's just trying to make himself important or something." Gladio turned to leave. "Let's get going. I want to make the most of not having him breathe down our necks."

Noctis joined him, much like the rest, but he was certain he had not been seeing things twelve years ago. The chancellor could fight and use magic to some degree. But how, and how much, those were questions he would have liked to hear an answer to.

I'm not even sure if the Bandersnatch is an official hunt, but it's there in Leide, it's way too powerful in early game, and it made sense to me that if the boys go hunting, Ardyn would want to tackle the meanest thing around. (I mean, how do you find a decent challenge if you are immortal?)
Anyway, not much to see in this chapter. Move along.

2022-12-31: Ditched any mention of the bandersnatch and reworked the dialogue following the comment by miano53. Should make more sense like this.

2022-02-04: Added appearances by Cindy and Cid, because I somehow missed what fun that stubborn old man can be.