I was watching 3x18 (yes, I know I'm a masochist) when I first noticed Chuck's comment about having played the balloon game before. At first I thought he was innuendo-ing and got busy trying to figure out what he meant, but then it occurred to me that, as in Glee, they could have played that game in Sex Ed in order to encourage abstinence (the idea of Chuck being abstinent is like the idea of Serena covering up her van der Boobsens: it will happen only when the planets align once every millennium, if at all). This was a lot of fun to write (pre-series C/B is like the Cocoa Devil: 'sinfully delicious'), though I did steal some lines from the show to mix 'n' match for effect.
Enjoy.

XX, XY

"...as well as practising safe sex, it is also important to remember the value of abstinence and waiting until you're ready, not until he - or she - is."

The headmistress raised her eyebrows at the proposed pairings, then shook her head at the attendant walking around the room with her arms full of balloons. "Mr Bass and Miss van der Woodsen, I think not. Miss van der Woodsen with Mr Nelson, please, and Mr Bass...with Miss Waldorf. Mr Archibald, you may choose your own partner."

Blair scowled as Chuck sloped towards her, folding her arms subconsciously across the front of her crisp white blouse and feeling the oddest desire to slink away and hide. Chuck's fingers were wound about with the last balloon, the only red; the colour looked like an accusation, and it made her stomach clench. She kept her eyes fixed on Nate and shook her head when she was offered the scarlet tribute, unwilling to wrap her lips around anything with his ready wit in the vicinity.

"Why don't you do it? You're full enough of hot air to make it float."

Chuck smirked before obliging - a little of his mouth twisting to void it of any real appreciation - and Blair cursed herself for letting him get to her. They did as instructed: bodies pressed to opposite sides of the static ridden rubber, moving almost in time to the music with their hands on each other's shoulders. Her eyes narrowed as his grip shifted downward to her waist, mapping the curve of her body with his handspan.

"You'll never last this out if you're going to do that."

He snorted. "Please, Waldorf. Barely touching you is hardly enough to turn anyone on, let alone me."

Blair found herself unexpectedly put out. "Why?"

"Because some men like to see what they're buying, not have it gift wrapped in five different chastity belts labelled 'soon to be property of Nate Archibald'."

"You think I should be more like her." She jerked her head towards Serena, towards the tiny pleated skirt and long bare legs.

"In a word? Yes."

"Never."

"Then you will never have me."

"As if I would want to."

The look he gave her was slanted, intrigued. "But it irritates you that I'm not attracted to you, doesn't it? It gets under your skin -" He ran a fingertip slowly down her arm, and she gasped as the resulting static conducted through him and into her. "Everyone has to want you, don't they? To be you, to be near you, to be with you, even to throw yoghurt on you and take your place on the Met steps...personally, I can't understand the fascination."

"Really?" Blair felt equals parts adrenaline and incredulity mix in her veins as she looped her arms around his neck, idly running her fingers through the thick hair which, unlike Nate's, was only just close enough to brushing his collar to ruin the silhouette. "Chuck," she said softly, pulling on her bottom lip and subtly wriggling her hips to narrow the space between them. "Won't you like me just a little?"

Chuck looked back at her, at the cherry blossom lips which were now blushing wine and at the new gleam in her eye. "Well," he said. "Look who just got a little interesting."

Pop.

Fin.