There have been a precious few days in my life that I know I'll never forget. Days which I could never forget, even if I wanted to.
It seemed so strange. I'd seen strange things already since discovering I was a witch - magic wands, flying broomsticks, goblin bankers. But a train station in a wall? It couldn't be possible; yet it was. I could see Mum was terrified - she had been ever since I got my Hogwarts letter. I knew she was proud of me, but for an eleven year old to see their mum look at them with fear - it was heartbreaking. Dad, on the other hand, was in his element! He was a train driver and fascinated with engineering; for him, a magical train was the same as a muggle one. I could see him itching to look at it, to see how it worked, but staying with me. I remember, that was the day me and Tuney had our big argument. She'd been crying. She was always crying, ever since I met Sev, ever since I found out I had magic. I hadn't meant to pry. I knew how much her privacy meant to her, but Sev had been so insistent. He told me that was the only way to make her happy, to found out what was wrong. It was such a kind reply from Professor Dumbledore. For the first time, I really understood what it meant for her. She could never match me again.
What's a mathematician against a magician?
The things I said that day I truly regret. And I'm sure Petunia does as well. But once they were said, we could never take them back. And we could never forget.
It wasn't all bad though. Sure, when I had to get on the train it was. Mum and Dad were almost as upset as I was. There was such a tug of homesickness when the train pulled out of the station that I almost begged to get straight back off again. If it wasn't for Severus, I probably would have. He kept me calm though. He took my luggage and his, and led me to a carriage. It wasn't empty. That was where I met Sirius Black. That was where I met James. I didn't pay much attention at first. I was upset and to be honest, they were just two boys I probably wouldn't go out of my way to talk to. I do remember thinking they were handsome, especially Sirius. James would kill me if he ever heard me say that! I was staring out the window until I heard them start arguing - James, Sirius and Severus. I hate bullying, always have, and always will. The things they were saying - I expected it of James and Sirius but Severus too? It was horrible! In the end I stormed out, taking Severus with me.
My first sight of Hogwarts. I wish I could see Harry's face when he first sees Hogwarts. It was a stormy, dark, bleak night and I could see lights flickering in the windows. It never occurred to me that they were candles; I thought it was just the storm. Me and Sev shared our boat with Remus and a girl called Mary Finnegan - I thought they were really nice, but I Sev looked angry and almost bored. I didn't understand it - we were almost there, at Hogwarts, the place we'd been dreaming of for months and all of a sudden, he wasn't interested! What was that all about? But finally, when we walked through the magnificent, wooden doors, he couldn't resist being just as awestruck as I was. We climbed up the Grand Staircase, all of us as scared as each other, none of us talking. Ghosts were flying everywhere; nervous murmurs were starting up. And then... we were walking down the hall. I'd seen large crowds before but nothing could have prepared me for that. I had never been so nervous, not when I'd been in trouble at school, not even when I'd thought I'd have to go to Azkaban for doing underage magic. The feeling in my stomach when I saw the Sorting Hat sitting on the stool... I still wake up now, remembering it. I remember seeing Dumbledore, his beard longer than I thought beards could ever be, his glasses glinting in the candlelight. When people starting getting called up, my nerves were almost unbearable. Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor - he swaggered over to that table and any idiot could see how happy he was. I saw Severus smirk. That annoyed me a bit; I didn't see the point of the prejudice between the different houses. When it was my turn, I thought I would pass out right there, in front of everyone.
GRYFFINDOR!
Sev's face is the one out of all of the others in the Hall that stays in my mind - disappointment and betrayal. I felt a flash of anger. It wasn't my fault I'd been put into Gryffindor, was it? I almost immediately felt ashamed - I was Sev's only friend and he was so sure he was going to be in Slytherin. He must have been so scared he was losing me. I remember James' face as well. He looked very happy, a bit too happy, if I do say so myself. I glared at him, and at Sirius when I sat down. I was still angry with them both. How dare they bully Severus when they didn't even know him? James was in Gryffindor too, so by then I was getting nervous. I didn't want to be in a house with James and Sirius but not Severus. But he went into Slytherin. James and Sirius sniggered and I almost hit them I was so angry. I could see Sev's devastated face from across the hall.
I was so full of excitement, exhilaration – ambition, even - that night. I miss it, that feeling, and I'd love to go back. Back to that night. To my childhood, when I didn't have to worry or stress or anything. To when I was happy.