I always thought I'd marry Severus. When I was growing up I couldn't imagine a day without him, let alone a lifetime! He was my best friend, my brother. Severus Snape and Lily Evans; the most inseparable pair since James Potter and Sirius Black. He's still a big, important person in my life; a traitor but not all bad. He's not the Severus Snape I knew. He was a good man.
Lily Snape. It never did have quite the same ring as Lily Potter, did it?
Severus made me who I am today and we had so many amazing and brilliant times together. I have so many more stories about him to tell, so many new stories to tell the world. Stories from so long ago I've almost forgotten them myself. But there was a time when I all but forgot about Sev. (James will love that!) But it's true. When I realised how much he meant to me I changed completely. I'd always prized myself on being strong-willed - a feminist, even, from a very young age but when I saw James, I turned into the type of girls I loathed. I still loath them. Girls with no backbone. Girls who think having a boyfriend is more important than having a life. It didn't take me long to grow out of it, I suppose, but my relationship with Sev changed. He treated me differently and it really broke my heart. He was my best friend and suddenly he was treating me with utter indifference! What was with that? I know he didn't like James but it was unfair. I mean, it was because of Sev I grew out of my infatuated faze. Yes, I liked James Potter but not at the expense of my closest friend. I couldn't love him at the expense of a certain friend, whom James Potter was constantly bullying.
I loved Severus. But I love James.
It took me years to finally get together with him. His stupid big-headed attitude irritated me and even his own friends! Maybe that's mean. Remus was always decent to me, decent to Sev, even when rumours about him were so rampant even I was embarrassed. And Peter was so shy, so quiet. I never really remembered him when we were kids but I can see what Sirius and James saw in him now. He's kind, honest. But more than that, he's loyal. Peter Pettigrew stayed loyal to James and Sirius even through some of their more tempestuous times; he's more loyal than the other boys. And Sirius… wow! I probably shouldn't say that considering I'm married to his best friend but wow. He was so handsome, still is if I'm honest, and way too flirtatious for an 11 year old! His rebellious streak always appealed to me, too. He stood up for himself a lot more than most other boys; he was a bit like Sev in that way. He had that devil-may-care attitude that is incredibly attractive! But it was James who always stood out to me.
James, annoying, selfish and insipid as he was, seemed so self-assured. A lot more than I was. A lot more than I ever could be. But when he grew up, when he matured… he turned into the man I love. He always listened when I was sad, he'd tell jokes to cheer me up, and he knew some really cheesy Muggle magic tricks. He'd come up behind me and whisper that he loved me. He'd hold my hand and was always there for me. He gave up so much for me – he had to stop being so rebellious. I'm not saying he lost that dashing, carefree attitude, but he became an adult version of himself. There are times when I get fed up of coming downstairs and seeing him and the Marauders lounging around my house. I yell at him for going out without telling me. I kicked him out when he decided repairing Sirius' motorbike was more important that our wedding!
I love him. James Potter – he makes me whole, he makes me smile. He stops me crying, he even left Sev alone for me, and most importantly he changed. He changed for me when no one else ever has. Sev didn't. Severus Snape, the man I always imagined I would marry, he dabbled in dark arts. No, he did more than dabble. I have never stopped loving Severus… I never will. But he knew how felt and he did nothing.
Nothing.
And James gave me the best gift possible. Harry James Potter. My mother told me that having a child would change your life but I could never imagine how much. My heart aches for Harry. Every second I'm not with him is like a lifetime. Every time he cries, my heart cries with him; I just want to take him in my arms, to protect him from the world. His smiles are worth a million days with James, a billion days with Severus. I wake up in a cold sweat, not because of my old nightmares about Severus being killed a Death Eater, not even my nightmares of James being hurt, but of Harry. Of him feeing alone growing up. Of him having to fight for his life. Of him having all the problems normal boys have but without his father to help him. Most regularly, of him being alone, of him when James and I aren't around anymore. I would give my life for Harry Potter, and I know James would too.
I love watching him smile. His laugh makes my heart grow warm. He used to play with other kids all the time. The Longbottoms are great with him; their little boy's only a day older than Harry. The boys would smile, waving wands like experienced wizards already. He used to love the Weasleys too. The older boys loved having Harry around. They treat him like another brother. I feel for Molly sometimes - 6 boys (7 if you count Arthur)! I can hardly cope with 1, and sometimes he's a struggle too! It's not fair that all those times had to stop. I know it's for our protection, but it's like being in prison. Harry shouldn't have to give up his friends.
I love my family. I would never give them up.