Spoilers: 3x04

Summary: The darkest timeline doesn't have to stay dark forever, not when you have help from your friends.

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REMEDIAL CHAOS THEORY:

A Better Universe

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We're gonna finally be fine.

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"So here's the thing," Jeff said as he looked into the eyes of J. Pratchett, night security, and then cold-cocked him. "I really do have nothing left to lose."

Even before the troll accident, Jeff Winger had been a big guy with a long reach: the night guard went down in one hit. Lucky all around, considering Jeff only had one arm these days and a single punch was the best he could contribute. He reached down and filched a key card from the man's badge clip. He stepped over the prone body, wincing a bit at his victim's slack, sad face. His cell phone beeped, and he answered as he began to read the plaques next to each room. "Exter, Essen, Emmerson, Ellis... Hello?"

"Who is this?"

"Abed, you called me."

"Give your name or pass code."

"Fine," he growled. "This is Evil Jeff."

"Evil Jeff, this is Evil Abed."

"I think the likelihood of anyone impersonating us at this stage is pretty low."

"It's protocol. How did it go?"

Jeff smirked to himself, reading the names on his list against the numbers on the doors. Maybe a life of crime wasn't going to be as difficult as he'd always been convinced. He seemed to do just the same amount of work, and if he could coast through one, he could coast through the other. So far, hospitals were easy to break into. Maybe they should just stick to hospitals in the future.

"I'm in, and I have the patient list for this wing. Evers, Eckstrom, Eckenia...Ebert...wait, Eddison. Here we go. It's not room 254, it's room 268."

"That's why I said you need the list."

"I'm still not comfortable punching innocent security guards," Jeff felt compelled to add for the sixteenth time. They needed to get into victimless white collar crime ASAP. "Fucking good luck it wasn't a woman."

"As your use of profanity demonstrates, it's a dark timeline, Jeff." This was Abed's explanation for everything, and Jeff swung back and forth in accepting the philosophy. Today was a swinging-forth day, or he wouldn't have even been here. Abed clicked his tongue into the phone three times. "I have to cut off the call before we reach four minutes, so this is it. Retrieve the egg and we'll meet you on the outside."

"You two should have been the ones to do this," complained Jeff. He'd stopped in front of a heavy beige door and was staring at the bubbled glass in the middle of it. "I'm the speech guy, not action man. I'm supposed to talk you and Troy out of trouble—an extremely precise job that I can't perform if I'm locked up too."

"No, Jeff," Abed corrected. "You're the man who can coax the golden goose." The phone beeped and disconnected, Jeff sliding it back into his pocket. He swiped the pilfered key-card at the box, then pushed the door to room 268 open gently.

Inside, the small shape of a woman had burrowed under a sheet with her back turned to the door. He could see no reaction to the sound of oncoming footsteps.

"Annie," said Jeff a few feet from the bed. He crouched low on his heels, bringing his alarming height to about the level of her bed. "Annie, it's time to go."

The form on the bed turned under the covers and opened dark, baggy eyes to look at him. Annie Eddison's bottom lip was red and chapped, as if she'd been biting it. Her face went tight with anger, then softened for a moment, and settled at distantly stoic.

"I'm not going anywhere. I live here."

Jeff's eyes rolled over the bland, almost unfurnished room. Nothing sharp; even the pointed corners of a meager bookshelf had been sanded down. "My place is better. Troy's new place is good too."

"You're not allowed to be here."

"I made my way in."

"I hate your beard."

He touched his light brown goatee self-consciously, and grimaced. "Yeah, me too," he admitted. "It was a project requirement. Abed made a felt one for you."

Instead of rising to the humor, Annie's eyes tracked his every body movement, like a prey animal would. "What project?" she questioned.

"Project SAWCABU," he said with the kindest smile he had in him. "Save Annie While Creating A Better Universe."

Annie took a slow breath. "I've been saved, Jeff. I'm safe here. Nothing bad happens in this place."

"I could kidnap you, that would be something bad." He took a risk, and lifted his single hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. She didn't squirm away. "It's okay, you know. The time for punishment is over. Now is the time for acceptance. You can be safe with us. You'll be better, with us."

"What if I can't accept it? You always used to talk about my growing up, like it was this process you resented me for. Well," She sat up in a rush, turning her body so that her head was well above his, and looked down derisively. "What if I can't handle the real world? What if I can't handle that my friend died because of me, and you and Troy got... crippled... because of me."

"Then you'll live through it." Undaunted, Jeff put his hand over one of hers. This song and dance wasn't easy, because living through things was a constant challenge for him now. He couldn't say he was an expert at acceptance, either. But even with her youth Annie had been a burgeoning model for what he secretly wanted in himself as an adult: intelligence, idealism, determination. There was no more heart-opening deadline for either of them. Wanting to turn those thoughts to action, Jeff squeezed her hand.

"You are grown up, Annie. That process's come and gone, so handling it's a moot question. But this place—this isn't living, Annie. Come back where you belong. Come home, to our world."

She looked at the sheets, and dark hair toppled in front of her face. "Will you be there?"

"Yes," Jeff promised with another squeeze.

She nodded, then asked, as if it were taboo to hope for it: "Will Shirley and Britta be there?"

"They're waiting in the car outside. Britta has blue hair now, I'm sorry to report."

A grin tried to break across Annie's face, but just as fast it fluttered away, unfulfilled. "Do I have to see my family?"

"Never again unless you want to."

Annie began to breathe deeply, first one, two, then three in quick succession. She nodded her head, almost violently, and grabbed Jeff's forearm with both her hands. Like a spring he was up, pulling Annie with him as her bed sheets fell away. She wore little white socks, and no shoes.

"Where are you sneakers?" asked Jeff, and she pointed to a closet. While he pulled them out, along with two sweaters and a pair of jeans, Annie went to her desk. She stuffed her worn journal down the waist of her pajama pants and fished two candy mints from a secreted corner of the drawer. She turned around to see Jeff by the door, and offered one to him. When she realized he couldn't take the candy while also holding onto her stuff, she unwrapped his piece.

"Why the mints?"

"I don't want to face the world with bad breath. It wouldn't be... right." She tried to smile again, and this time held the expression long enough to pass it on to Jeff.

"Yeah," he said, and a bit of lost wonder crept into his voice. "Annie Eddison comes prepared for any adventure." She held up the mint, and Jeff felt her slip it onto his tongue. He lightly kissed her fingers as she pulled them away.

"Ready now, M'lady?" he asked.

"Ready, M'lord," breathed Annie, and opened the door to a better universe.