His rooms were too small, too private, and there were too few hiding places, never mind how bad it looked in general to have dead bodies rotting under the bed.
But the gardens were a huge enough maze.
Ganondorf went walking through the hedges, attended only by one maid; the one he'd slapped. It was safer, he assured himself. In one pocket was his letter opener. The maid kept a little ways behind him, fearful and unsure of what he wanted. Over the past few days, Sila had been particularly loathsome, the people had been rebelling against the newly-proposed taxes on market-sold items (general items; there was already a different tax on food products) and he just. Needed. It.
The maid, bless her, wasn't the sharpest sword. She did the jobs she could, as long as she was shown how once or twice, and that was it. So she assumed that she simply had failed the king in some way. Even now, she wasn't sure why he had singled her out to show him the trouble spots in the garden, but she hoped to correct any mistakes in this way.
Ganondorf could feel the thin edge of the letter opener. She was young, so young. She would put up a good fight. He stepped up slowly behind the maid, taking longer steps to her timid stride.
They were deep in the oldest parts of the maze now, where the hedge was thickest.
The maid halted. Some prey animal instinct was telling her to turn around, to catch him before he could sneak too close.
"Your Majesty?" she asked, as she looked back over her shoulder.
He grabbed her and flung her to the ground. She landed hard on her back, and the wind was knocked out of her. As she struggled to breathe, he pushed her down, bearing down on her with his weight and holding the letter opener high, aiming for one of those dark brown eyes. Tonight he would sleep like the baby in his wife's stomach, tonight he could relax—
"Your Majesty!"
A voice called for him in the distance. Ganondorf swore and hauled himself up. The maid remained small and terrified on the ground, in a little puddle of warmth. He turned his head towards the voice.
"Your Majesty! Visitors!"
"Damn it all," he growled. He turned back to the terrified girl. "Get out. Leave here and do not return. If you tell anyone, I will come after you, and I will not be stopped."
She hesitated only a second, but as Ganondorf turned away with a glowering face and murder in his heart, she thanked the Goddesses for their mercies and ran.
To his surprise, it was the desert king, with a few of his women in tow. He'd almost forgotten that once Sila had been part of this… brothel of war.
"What can I do for you, Link?" he boomed, immediately summoning a cheerful countenance. It would cost him great strain, he knew.
"Well. We wanted to come somewhere a little cooler for a few days. It's already in the high 70s out there in the desert." He laughed.
"Oh, how sad I am for you. Meanwhile, here we are bedding down for the next snowstorm. Hopefully the last of the year."
He led his guests into the castle.
"I wanted to see Sila and how she is doing, as well. I know that she's due soon. I hope we can be there?"
"Well, if I can catch you in time, I know she'd be honored."
"It seems Hyrule is coming along nicely, have the copper sales been useful?"
"Oh yes…"
/
While the men talked below, Sila was up to something less innocuous.
She had gathered up some of her bits of broken gold jewelry and melted it down over a fire. Then, using the putty as a mold, she made a dummy key. The soft gold would only be good for a few tries, so she had limited chances to use it, and couldn't let it bend. She would keep it in the putty until it was fully cured.
Her head snapped up when there was a knock at her door. She tucked away her little smelting operation and hid the putty in that same jewelry box.
"Come in."
After a pause, a guard stepped in and bowed. "My lady, there are guests requesting your presence."
"Oh?"
"Yes. The desert king."
Sila bit back a smile. "Good. I shall be down shortly."
She put her hair down and put on a clean robe over her dress, tying it loosely. After a moment's hesitation, she added fresh drops of scent to her neck and wrists, then she floated down to the main hall where Ganondorf would be stern-facedly entertaining.
/
Zelda was waiting in the main hall of the fortress. When they were heading to the west woods, Link would have Sila send a bird to them. As soon as she got the message, she was to head west to meet them, but not be seen. Link explained that he wanted her to be a sneak attack. This settled with her. She hoped she would be able to catch up to them quickly enough.
She rested her head on one wall, sighing. Link had been explicit that she was to stay there, her horse at the ready, to receive the message at any time. Her cot had been moved to the hall, which helped, but beyond that there was nothing to do. She practiced, testing how quickly she could reload and fire again, moving back and forward from the target. Mostly, she missed.
The guards watched her try, but they did not offer advice. They rolled and smoked cigarettes, they muttered to each other about idle things, like Sila's pregnancy or the mines being closed up for summer. Some of them had gone to the West Woods with dead desert hares and foxes, to drag them in meandering trails through the trees to distract the hounds. A group of them were sent to do this every day and night, until word was sent.
Time crawled by for all of them, as they watched the windows, waiting for a bird.
/
It took roughly four days. Link's instructions to the group of soldiers he'd brought with him had been simple. Eat and drink as much as they could, hog the resources of the castle, and antagonize the king.
With food supplies always at a trickle in the desert, they had no problems keeping up. They devoured roasted foul with their bare hands, mopping up the leftover gravy with thick chunks of bread torn off the loaves. They drank up the wine like water, and when that was in short supply, they turned to the harder stuff, which led to some scuffles with flustered maids, unwanted advances on the wary guards, demands for entertainment from the local acting troupe and more.
Link partook, but in a diminished capacity. He kept his eye on Ganondorf, waiting to see the man snap. He thought he could recognize the edge of blind anger in his clenched fists, his gritted teeth, his narrowed eyes. Any minute now, he would think to himself. They would need more food, soon. He did not want to be under the table with drink when they left.
Sila chatted amicably with the soldiers she thought of as her sisters. They talked excitedly about her pregnancy, she showed them the nursery and the tiny toys and outfits laid out for their child, the royal crib that all royal children had slept in since the third family of Hyrule. But she was tense; the way Link eyed up the king and how the girls stuffed themselves even when they'd just been nattering on about how full they were; her husband was being led, and she knew it. She wondered if he had any clue.
On the third day of their stay, a cold front came over Hyrule. A freeze had settled in on the land, and in some parts of the country there was even a little snow falling again. The Gerudo complained bitterly, demanding bigger fires and borrowing heavy furs to traipse around the castle. When the cooks were late with breakfast, Ganondorf sent Sila to find out why.
The cook gestured helplessly, and Sila was shocked at the destruction that had been laid on the kitchens. The flour stores were significantly depleted, and the season for growing was at a slow start. There were only a few sad chickens left, depleted egglayers that were now meant for the stewpot due to the toughness of the meat. Fruits and vegetables were starting to go off, and their water was also in low reserve.
Sila immediately went to her husband's rooms, but he had apparently left after sending her downstairs.
"His Majesty invited him down to the courts to play some rounds of Bocce," a guard informed her. Sila stormed away, fuming, but when she returned to her rooms, she stopped. It was ridiculous, when she thought about it; Link and Ganondorf both hated those sorts of sporting games. She glanced to her jewelry box and went inside, fishing out her dummy key. It had solidified nicely. She plucked it out of the putty and tucked it into one pocket, heading back to her husband's rooms. The guards made no comment; who were they to question their queen's actions and risk beheadings?
Sila shut the door firmly behind her, and looked at the spot where the hidden passage was. She walked to it quickly, and flipped up the wall sconce, unlocking the door.
The key worked enough to open the door, though it was a little warped when she pulled it back out. Well, one time would be enough. The door swung open soundlessly, and she wrinkled her nose at the faint stink that came with it. It was something she couldn't replace; something that had burned, something sour and stale. And it was incredibly dark in there.
Sila hesitated long enough to find a candle to light, and then she walked in, watching out for things underfoot. All she saw was a dark streak, that was slightly tacky and crumbled under her steps. About ten feet in, the passage opened up into the room, where the stink was stronger.
Sila looked around with huge eyes, noting the vials, the jars, the large splotch on the ground in one corner, and the dozens of books. One was half-tucked into place, and the dust on it was lighter. She pulled it out and idly flipped through, catching words that gave her a cold chill and made her feel sick. There were acceptable levels of this sort of alchemy. Things to prevent or encourage pregnancy, to help mend a cold or to worsen a plague. These things she knew were done.
But the one line they hesitated to cross, that line of defying the natural order, of stealing life from another person to extend one's own. The book had no chapter list, so she had to hunt for the recipe she was sure he would use. As she read it over, her skin got cold, and their child thrashed in her belly, as if it too could read the page. Next to the list of ingredients were little checkmarks. One ingredient, 'blood relation', had a word, written in Ganondorf's own neat script.
Soon.
/
At dinner (chicken dumpling stew), Link looked at Sila, wondering if she had understood what to do. When the royal band started to play at the insistence of the guests, Link stood up to ask her to dance, and Sila shook her head.
"The baby's been dancing enough for me," she answered. "I don't know if I could take any more."
He laughed and nodded. "It seems I've lost the attentions of all my women," he said, turning as Ganondorf was pulled from his chair by Brida, who did so with a stern face and looking for all the world as if she intended to fight him instead.
Link went to sit next to Sila, keeping his posture relaxed and leaning back from her.
"How was your day?" he asked her quietly.
Sila shrugged. "Uneventful. I heard you played Bocce with my husband."
He chuckled and drank the last of his wine. It was sour and weak, far too young in the aging process. "Yes. It was dismal. I should like to run my sword through the inventor of that."
Sila laughed and shook her head. "I'm sure you would."
"Did you find anything useful?" he asked in a light tone, watching the girls dance.
"Yes," she replied. She shuddered when she recalled that list. "I found a recipe." She touched her belly protectively.
"What kind of recipe?" Link's tone had gone cold under his smile.
"Eternal life," she replied. "Under the next full moon. Once our child is born. He is going to steal her life for his own."
Link set down his wine glass before he broke it, his jaw twitching. Sila wanted to kiss that nerve, she wanted to grab him and pull him close. Seeing him here and so close, she realized with a sharp pang that she missed him desperately.
Sila swallowed around the lump in her throat.
/
It was late.
It had to have been past three o'clock. The guards were mostly asleep or playing cards in the main hall. A few had let themselves be wooed by their exotic guests and were busy with those pursuits.
Sila snapped awake when she heard a faint, light tapping at her bedroom door, and reluctantly she climbed out of bed, pausing with her hand on the door and leaning towards the crack in the frame.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"It's me," came back his soft whisper. Sila closed her eyes and carefully opened the door, letting him in.
"Hi," she whispered, shutting the door quickly behind him. Link turned and looked at her in the moonlight, touching her stomach.
"It should be ours," he said quietly, sadly.
"I know," she replied. "Maybe after this one is born, we can… try again."
"If I can get near to you," he said with a shrug. "You'll be in mourning for a long time."
"Yes," Sila said, touching his chest.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Sila reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, pressing against—her damn stomach was in the way. She cursed and kept kissing him, desperate and hungry. He touched her hair, her face, down to her heavy breasts where she moaned and bit his lower lip.
She pushed him over to the bed and shoved him down where he fell back. He sat up quickly in response and grabbed her by the upper arms, sitting her down and kissing her mouth.
"I miss you so much," he said. "No one else compares."
He lifted her night dress and she felt tears rolling down her face in longing. "Take your time, please," she whispered.
"Alright," he answered. He kissed her again, then, with one hand still on her thigh, he sank down onto the floor on his knees, pulling her to the edge of the bed.
/
Ganondorf was up early the next morning, sitting in his rooms and balancing the books, trying to find where he could squeeze more money from exporting tariffs to purchase supplies for the castle for the next several weeks. It was early, the light dim from the constant cloud cover; the cold snap was getting worse, and the falling snow was thicker than before.
He jerked his head up when he heard a sharp knock at the door, wary. What problems now? What did people need him for now? If it was Sila, coming in here with a slut's step and begging for him to touch her, he would throw her out, damn the pregnancy.
When it was Link, however, he was puzzled and relieved, and he begged inwardly that Link would announce their departure today.
"I'm glad we can finally get along," Link said as he sat down.
"As am I," Ganondorf replied blandly, looking at him. They stared at each other, and bubbling hatred swelled in the both of them. Ganondorf cleared his throat sharply.
"What can I do for you, then?"
"I think we should go for a hunt. The ladies… they say the wild boar roasts of Hyrule are a rare treat, and best when fresh. It might be just the thing to take a chill off the edge of the day."
"Sounds very good." Ganondorf slowly closed his books. "If you need to borrow weapons and armor, I'm sure the guards can help to outfit your group."
"Oh, not the girls. Are you serious?" Link chuckled. "They wouldn't know anything about hunting down a boar. They've never hunted up anything bigger than a man for the night, and I hear there's some breeds 'round here that are massive. It will help to blow off some steam."
Ganondorf agreed with Link, but not quite in the way he thought he intended. "Yes. Perhaps a hunt would be good. When did you want to go?"
"Quite soon, if possible. I'm feeling energetic, today." Link smiled a little, but Ganondorf did not get the joke.
/
Zelda's eyes snapped open. The lingering traces of her dream faded into the howling wind around the fortress.
"Zelda."
She rolled over onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. There was a small white bird perched in a windowsill. It cooed before taking off, flapping rapidly down to one of the guard's outstretched arms. The guard removed the tied note and handed it off to her.
Zelda eagerly opened the scroll of paper and nodded. It said only one word, "Go".
In less than an hour, her horse was prepared and she had dressed, bundled against the cold, heading west.
/
They packed two horses, their breath steaming in the cold. The horses were attached to the same little cart.
"I hear they're quite plentiful in the West Woods," Link called out, checking his borrowed sword for sharpness. He glanced at Ganondorf to judge his reaction.
"Ah…" Ganondorf did not answer him. "Yes, that's what I've heard."
Liar.
As usual, two guards followed with the hounds.
It took a few hours for them to get to the West Woods. The dogs were freaking out, baying and escaping the guards' grasp, running off in a confusing spread.
"Collect them, you idiots!" Ganondorf snapped at the guards.
They left the horses at the edge of the woods and dismounted. In places, the trees grew so thick that there would be no room for the horses. Neither man was sure where he was headed; they continued to walk deep into the thick of the woods. Here the cover overhead was better, and there were only patches of snow on the ground. Ganondorf pointed out boar tracks where he could find them, and they followed them in silence.
/
Zelda arrived at the forest an hour or two after they did. She dismounted her horse and left it some distance from theirs, hoping she would be able to get back to it. They were thick and foreboding, these woods. It was said children got lost in them all the time, and never came out.
She stepped carefully, the leaves and sticks crunching and rustling under her heavy boots. She headed diagonally, approximately towards where she thought they would be. Her heart was pounding and the cold air was painful in her lungs. She was glad for grabbing her coat at the last second.
"Where are you?" she whispered under her breath, licking her lips. If only they'd had a trail or a way to communicate!
She walked for an hour in the woods, always heading in the same direction. Zelda looked down by chance, and a little bit ahead of her she saw a patch of snow with a fresh footprint, a huge man's boot. It pointed off to her left. She turned and followed.
/
Ganondorf was growing impatient. He was wasting valuable time out here in the woods with this useless idiot. The boar tracks had long gone stale, and the hounds were nowhere to be found to aid them. Link claimed he was confident they would find one, and they just had to keep looking, keep waiting.
"Are you thinking of names for the baby?" Link asked quietly.
"No."
"Why not?"
Ganondorf snorted. "Women's work. They can worry about all that."
Link glared at him. "It will be your heir. Don't you think about it at all?"
"No. I don't like to dwell on such things. I'm busy trying to run a country."
"Isn't taking care of its future part of that?"
"Oh, because you're an expert at keeping a country thriving. How are the desert sluts, anyway? I suppose I could at least keep it as a brothel, or a prison."
Link's hand went to his pommel. "We do what we can. Surely you don't think Hyrule is doing so well."
"It will do fine. There are new taxes, new tariffs. Everything I do is for my country's benefit. I cannot trust anyone else with it."
"Even Sila?"
Ganondorf looked back at him, and Link was a little too slow in disguising his look of hatred.
"Especially not Sila. She doesn't know Hyrule at all. She's not even been queen for a year." Ganondorf walked over to Link, towering over him. "But don't you worry about her. She'll never have to rule without me."
"What do you plan to do, kill her? If so, I'll take her back and declare the treaty void, as well as close off the mines to you again."
"You go and do that. Do you think Gerudo will survive another war?"
They had forgotten their pretense of hunting, and were arguing full-on, their voices echoing. This was, unbeknownst to them, to Zelda's advantage.
She followed their carrying voices, keeping an eye out. She did not want to stumble across them and be seen, ruining everything.
She stumbled on the edge of the clearing, the two of them shouting into each other's face. Zelda stepped back carefully, and she withdrew her bow and an arrow, carefully arming.
"I don't think we'll have to do anything of the sort," Link snapped, withdrawing his sword.
Ganondorf chuckled. "Of course. Of course. This was your plan all along, wasn't it? To kill me!" He burst into laughter, throwing his head back.
"Good! GOOD! I relish a challenge, surely you know that. You think you can stand against me with an unfamiliar weapon?"
Link stepped back, holding the sword low. "I think I'll do just fine."
"You damned fool. When I kill you, I shall tell my darling wife of your betrayal. I will enslave the rest of your whores, or sell them to Termina to be their problem. I'll leave your body here to rot, alone in the woods. Your skeleton will be nothing but dust before I come close to my life's end."
Link gritted his teeth. "I doubt that very much."
"Oh do you? You do not know the plans I have. The things I know. You're too busy hunting up your next cunt to think of the big picture."
"Am I? You don't think everything that's been done has been calculated? Thought over carefully?"
Zelda rolled her eyes, but didn't think it a good time to dispute Link's preparedness.
"I'm sure you've explored every avenue. But I've been playing this game for a long time, boy. You don't know who you are dealing with." Ganondorf unsheathed his sword and hefted its weight, stepping back, taking slow, deep breaths. He was pulling in his rage, focusing it, letting it fill him with the energy for a fight. Link smirked.
"Hey."
"What, you idiot?" Ganondorf tilted his head up, hearing the singing pick up in his ears.
"I fucked your wife last night."
"What?" It took a second to register. "What?"
Link narrowed his eyes. "Funny. She has a king and she still prefers a broke soldier of a dying country. How hard does she come for you?"
Zelda muttered a curse under her breath. Their dick-waving tactics were disgusting.
But of course, there was a point to it.
"You did no such thing," Ganondorf rasped, his eyes wide with rage.
Link shrugged. "You can ask her when you get back if you kill me."
"Typical slut!" Ganondorf shouted. "You! You slut-dealer! You knew it would happen!"
"Are we going to fight or are you just going to whine at me about how you can't please a 'desert slut' as you call them?"
"YOU—
Ganondorf charged blindly, swinging. Link stepped back away from him, careful of the sword's reach. He finally lifted his sword to knock the swings away, deflecting them to either side. When the sword fell to his right, Link moved in with his left hand, trying to get in a sharp thrust. He got in too close, and Ganondorf grabbed him by the head, holding him in place. Link stared up into his face, his own full of malice.
"Now," Ganondorf breathed.
Zelda lifted her bow and took careful aim, her skin clammy. "Don't miss, don't miss," she whispered under her breath.
Link struggled, swinging his sword around and bringing it down on Ganondorf's shoulder. It clanged uselessly off the metal pauldrons.
Ganondorf roared with laughter at his easy, stupid victory, and started to lift his sword hand. "Good bye, you damned blight," he growled in Link's face.
Zelda closed her eyes and whispered a little word of prayer, and fired.