And here we go with another chapter. I know a few of you are keen to see what happens so I hope it's up to your expectations!

I also gotta say, I got a whole bunch of really great reviews from everyone so I just wana say thankyou to you all! It's you guys that I'm writing for so every positive remark makes it worthwhile =) So, this fast release goes out to everyone who took the time to throw me a line!

COMMENCE!

Chapter 6

Naruto sat with his lips pursed slightly. During their talk he had startled everyone when he swapped back into boy mode. Never the less, the talk continued leaving Naruto with a lot to think about. Hinata had returned mid sex ed and had promptly passed out by a tree. The group had ignored her as it had been a common occurrence in academy for some reason.

Anyway, now Neji and Kiba were watching carefully as Naruto mulled over the information.

Neji was the first to speak; carefully choosing his words as who knew how the boy would approach such an uncomfortable topic.

"So, Naruto... any thoughts on this?"

Naruto twitched slightly and looked up at him. He pointedly made an effort not to look at Hinata. "So... babies are actually grown in women hey?"

The two teens nodded.

"And to get there, a guy needs to stick his thing in there."

He made a motion of poking his index finger through the hole created by his other hand as the thumb and forefinger came together. Again, the duo nodded.

"That means your parents had to do that to make you hey?"

Both Neji and Kiba turned a bit green but nodded. NOONE in their right mind really wanted to think of that. But for Naruto... nope. Not even then.

Naruto then pointed at Hinata. "So she has the cave where babies hide yeah?"

Neji and Kiba had found quite early on into the description of things that Naruto had absolutely no concept of the internals of women. As such, they had tried comparing various anatomical elements to natural counterparts. Unfortunately, that plan backfired and now Naruto was stuck with a very different view of things in his head.

"No Naruto, it's not a cave, it's a womb. And babies don't hide there, they grow there."

Naruto's eyes lit up. "Oh, so like a fungus?"

Kiba smacked his head into the nearest tree and Neji seriously felt like giving up and running home to his bedroom. Unfortunately though, his Hyuuga pride didn't let him.

"Not quite Naruto, but almost. The baby grows in the womb via the umbilical cord... remember how we spoke of that?"

Naruto nodded slowly. "Uh...ha? That's the leach attached to the belly button and cave wall yeah? I still don't get how it feeds its host..."

Neji cut him off. "No, the umbilical cord is a part of the baby. That's how the baby feeds."

"But the mouth... it doesn't eat through the mouth?"

"Nope. Think of it like a drip into your arm, just in the middle of your tummy."

Naruto looked at him questioningly. "So... no ramen?"

Neji shook his head. "No. No ramen.""

Tears began welling up in Naruto's eyes and Neji slapped a palm to his face. "I believe we may have done more damage than good Kiba."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "You did all the explaining and thinking. When you suggested we use metaphors, I just threw out ideas. It's all on you."

Looking back down at the distraught boy, Kiba sighed and walked over to him. Grabbing his arms, he picked Naruto up and placed him on his feet. Brushing down his jacket and pants, Kiba then looked at Naruto, eye to eye.

"Ok big guy, you've had a biiiig day haven't you?"

Naruto nodded unhappily.

"Well, how about you just trot on home and forget all about this yeah? I'm sure there's a nice packet of instant ramen you can drown your sorrows in."

Sniffing and wiping an eye, Naruto nodded and began walking home. Who could live without ramen for so long?

Kiba sighed and looked back at Neji. Both boys just shook their heads and sighed.

"Well, it's unfortunate that it turned out the way it did but I'd had enough. Thanks for sending him off Kiba."

The Inuzuka scratched the back of his head as he looked off in the direction Naruto wandered. "You're telling me. I didn't even hardly say anything and I feel worn out! But one thing I'm so happy about is that we didn't get around to explaining that time of the month to him. Seriously, even I'm still struggling to understand how something can bleed for a full week and survive."

Neji cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked. "I dare you to ask your sister. I'm sure she could explain. She is a vet after all..."

Kiba shuddered and shook himself at the thought. "Dude, she is my sister. Do you have any understanding of how bad and just plain weird that would be? That's nearly as bad as thinking about what Naruto made us think before!"

Neji looked across confused. "What was that again?"

Kiba blanched and shook his head. "Na-ah, I am not repeating that."

Neji shrugged and turned back to watch Naruto wander off. "After talking with Naruto I suppose its best I don't. Who knows what he could have said! He could have even mentioned..."

Neji turned a tad green. "Bother."

Kiba snickered. "Yeah, you remembered."

Neji swallowed and calmed himself before speaking. "Right. Well, it's starting to get late so I think I'll head home. I've had quite enough of today thankyou very much."

Kiba yawned and nodded. "Yeah, true that. I'll take one last dip and head back home. Come on Akamaru!"

Neji watched on then as Kiba jumped in fully clothed and started splashing around. Feeling Neji's eyes on him, he turned back around. An unspoken question passed between them, although it took Kiba a few seconds before he received the transmission.

"Oh, clothes? Yeah, I do this and that way I don't have to wash them for tomorrow!"

Neji's nose twitched and the Hyuuga promptly began walking away. "Good-bye Kiba."

XxXxXxX

Tenten was skipping back from her training grounds with a large smile on her face. The day had been exceptionally successful with her achieving a new personal best on most kunai deflected in one throw. Humming happily to herself, she continued to bounce along until a shock of blond made her look over.

She saw Naruto wandering along, dragging his feet and just in general looking very sullen. Ever the compassionate kunoichi, she quickly made a bee-line for the depressed ninja.

"Hey Naruto what's up?"

Naruto looked over at the vibrant girl and sighed. Even her infectious personality was doing nothing for him.

"Oh, hey Tenten. Yeah, I'm ok I guess. Just had an off day."

Tenten raised a fine eyebrow. "Really? Must have been a doozy 'cause I don't think I've ever seen you this down. Wana talk?"

Naruto looked at her carefree face and sighed. Spotting a bench a few feet away, he traipsed over to it. Taking a seat, he dropped his chin in his hands and sighed again. Tenten slid in beside him, silently waiting for him to begin.

"Well, you see it all started this morning when I lost control of my Orike no Jutsu for some reason."

Tenten frowned. "What's that? Can't say I've ever heard of that."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Of course not! I go and put all this effort into creating an amazing diversionary jutsu and everyone tells me it's stupid and that I shouldn't do it ever again. Not to mention Sakura-chan always beats me up for it."

Always the sucker for new jutsu, Tenten leaned in. "Oh! How does it work?"

Naruto looked up, kind of surprised anyone actually wanted to listen to him. "Well... it changes me into a girl that I use to distract guys. Like, I've beaten Ebisu-sensei, Iruka-sensei, Ero-Sennin and Sarutobi-jiji all with it! Like, they get knocked out for a few seconds but then all that happens is I get called a pervert and smacked."

Naruto huffed and looked away, a pout on his lips. What he didn't see though were the masses of sparkles in Tenten's eyes and joyous hands cupped under her chin.

"YOU BEAT ALL THOSE AMAZING NINJA WITH THIS TECHNIQUE?"

Naruto had to smooth his hair back into place and clean an ear after the loud shockwave near knocked him off the chair. Looking back up at the girl, he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah? Anyone who even has a tiny bit of perversion in them is affected."

If Tenten's eyes were sparkling before, they were now positively glowing. Her mouth opened into a massive smile as she latched onto his arm.

"That is so COOL! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SHOW ME?"

"You seriously want to see this thing?"

Tenten nodded vigorously. "YES! Anyone who can beat a Hokage in one move has got to be one of the most talented ninja ever!"

Naruto felt his head begin to swell. It felt good. "Well, it is pretty awesome."

Tenten nodded. "Yup! Though I'm guessing the problem has something to do with the change process yeah?"

Naruto looked up in surprise. "Yeah! How did you know?"

Tenten giggled into her hand. "Well, there's gotta be a reason you're wearing Hinata-chan's shirt."

Naruto blushed and pulled his jacket together. "Yeah... I guess..."

He then had to back up as Tenten's head got uncomfortably close to his chest. "So what's the problem huh? You stuck with boobs in guy form or something?"

Naruto quickly imagined the consequences of that and shuddered. That would have been horrendous. Wrapping the jacket around himself tighter, he shook his head.

"Hell no! Thankfully, hell no. What it is, is I can't control where it activates. Like, this whole day has just been me swapping from boy to girl to boy at the worst times ever!"

Tenten nodded understandingly.

"Then Tsunade-baachan goes and tells me I can't train while it's happening and then to top it off, I found out babies go without ramen for atleast the first year of their life!"

Tenten didn't really know how to take that last bit so sensibly avoided it. She could, however, totally relate to Naruto not being allowed to train. That would have been the death of her!

"Wow that's a rather hectic day. And how long till it's fixed?"

Naruto sniffed and wiped his nose. "Another three days until Ero-Sennin gets home."

"Awwww!"

Patting the distraught boy on the back soothingly, Tenten leant in.

"So where were you going now? Surely there must be something you can do to take your mind off things!"

Naruto nodded. "I was gona go to Ichiraku's for tea. I have ramen at home but nothing quite tastes like his ramen, you know?"

Tenten smiled. "Yeah, that's true. Hey, how about I come with you? I haven't eaten yet so I'm famished! Besides, if I do that means I'll have a good chance of seeing this Orike no Jutsu of yours!"

Brightening, Naruto smiled up at his newest best friend. "Yeah, sure! Follow me!"

Grabbing the surprised kunoichi's arm, he began dragging her off towards one of his many shortcuts.

XxXxXxX

The whole way, the two talked about training, ramen, Naruto's technique and ramen. Well, Naruto mostly talked about ramen. Tenten just guided the topic back to the Orike no Jutsu. Nearing the store, Naruto picked up the pace and dashed into the store, grabbing his usual seat. Tenten followed and found him sitting expectantly, swinging his short legs under his seat. Smiling to herself, she pulled up a seat beside him and looked at the menu. Hearing Naruto start slapping the counter and shouting, the girl giggled and looked up. Ayame had wandered across and was now serving the hyperactive blond. Remembering his manners briefly, he turned and pointed at Tenten.

"Ayame! This is Tenten! She likes ramen too!"

The taller teen laughed merrily and extended a hand to Tenten. "Anyone who is a fan of ramen is welcome here."

Tenten took the hand and shook firmly. "It's a pleasure! I was thinking of starting off on something lighter... maybe a miso?"

Naruto grinned broadly. "You are SO gona have a mouth orgasm when you taste this!"

Both Ayame and Tenten choked on the air and looked across in disbelief at the boy.

"What was that Naruto?"

Said boy looked back, his smile replaced with confused innocence. "What was what?"

The two girls shared a look before Tenten got the guts up to repeat what he said. "Mouth... orgasm. You do know what and orgasm is yeah?"

Naruto instantly brightened. "Yeah! Neji and Kiba told me all about that stuff this afternoon! Apparently an orgasm is something that makes you feel really, REALLY good, like weak knees and unable to speak properly after it good. What better explains what happens after I've eaten here then?"

The girls paled, wondering just what the hell was implanted into the boys mind that day.

"Hmmm... maybe Hinata is always having orgasms too... she's always got weak knees and stuttering and stuff..."

And then the cheeks of said girls had the colour returned to them in a vibrant display of red. Ayame quickly took both of the ponderous boy's hands and looked him square in the eye.

"Ok. Naruto. Listen very carefully to me when I say that you are not to say that in front of Hinata. Ever. Or any other person for that matter. Ok?"

Naruto looked up with big eyes. "Uh... ok? But why?"

Ayame paled a touch from her previous brilliant red. Tenten came to the rescue though, taking the boys attention from the flustered attendant.

"Because it is actually a very adult word that shouldn't be used around big groups of people. It actually means something very different to what you think."

Naruto's eyebrows raised at the revelation. "Really? What's it mean then?"

It was Tenten's turn to get all flustered as she tried to tell the boy.

"W-w-well... i-it's like... it's like that a-a-as you c-c-clima..."

Naruto leaned in close, eyes narrowed. "Are you ok? You sound like your orgasming."

Poor Tenten very nearly died. Thankfully though, Ayame came to the rescue, flushing so red that it looked like it hurt.

"F-free ramen the rest of the night!"

With a whoop of delight, all former questions were forgotten as Naruto tucked into his FREE bowl of ramen!

Holding a hand to her pounding heart, the little kunoichi wondered if she had just suffered a mild panic attack. Looking up to her saviour, Tenten mouthed a very big 'Thankyou!' to Ayame and promptly dropped her head to the bench.

This was way more effort than it was worth.

XxXxXxX

A/N – Hahaha dirty dirty dirty! But it's only dirty if you take it that way. Dirty minded people!

Anyway, tell me what you think! XD

Lanky Nathan