"Teeeddddy boy," James called out in a sing song voice. He had easily escaped Mark (thanks to Mark's ever shitty knees and hips) and was now on the search for the one and only Ted DiBiase Jr. "Come on out Teeeeeddddyyyy. Come out come out wherever you are." He was starting to get really impatient with this whole hunting process. "Where are you you dumb bastard?" He started opening doors at random, hoping to find the younger man in one of them. The first he opened was a janitor's closet so no luck there. The next led him to a room where two guys he didn't even know were playing poker. "Damn it all to hell." He closed that door and opened the next room, totally not reading the sign and totally not realizing it was the diva's locker room until he came face to face with Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres as they were changing.

"Oh my God!" Eve shouted as Kelly just screamed in surprise.

"WHOA!" James quickly slapped his hand over his eyes. "Uh…"

"Who the hell are you? Get out!"

"Do you want me to answer the question first and then go or do you just want me to make with the go-OW!" He got hit in the stomach with what felt like a shampoo bottle. "Okay okay! I'm going!" He tried to leave the room with his hand still over his eye and ended up running right into the wall. "Mother fucker cock sucking bastard!" He kicked the wall in frustration and peeked his eyes out through his fingers so he could actually see his way out the door. "Note to self: read signs on the door…"

"Isn't that always a good idea?"

James grinned as he turned to look at the owner of that voice. "Nattie!"

"Hey Uncle James." Natalya wrapped her arms around him and gave him the good old fashioned bear hug that she seemed to just love giving to him. He was the god father of a good amount of the Hart children yet they all called him "Uncle James". It was fitting really, especially considering that Cooper and Connor called Bret (and Owen before he died) "uncle". "What are you doing here? Where's Mark and his short leash?"

James made a face at that. "Don't even get me started on that."

"Uh oh." Nattie made a face. "Are you two fighting again?"

"Well he's not here so not at the moment. But I can guarantee you there will be one later."

"What happened now?"

"He fucking has been trying to treat me like I'm a child. I'm not a fucking child."

"Yeah really. You're many decades older than any child."

He glared at her for that. "Oh yes, let's make age jokes. That's just really nice."

"Aw come on now." She punched his shoulder gently. "Let's be real here. If I didn't know how old you really were I would say you didn't look a day over thirty." That was the truth. James looked years younger than he actually was and he sure as hell didn't act his age. Most of the time he acted even younger than he looked.

"Thanks Nat." He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around. "You've seen Ted anywhere?"

Her brows furrowed a bit. "Why are you looking for him?"

"He's going to help me get into Shawn and John's wedding."

"You're not invited?" She smirked. "I'm not surprised."

"Oh shut up."

"Why do you even want to go? I didn't think you cared too much for either one of them."

"I don't but since I wasn't invited now I have to go."

"Just to be a pain in the ass?"

"Yep!"

Natalya could only roll her eyes. What could she even say to that?

"Now do you-ha! There he is!" James bounded off and snagged the younger man from behind, holding him tight so he didn't get an elbow to the face or anything. "You!"

"What the hell?" Ted said, looking at James in shock. "What are you doing?"

"Catching you," James replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You promised to help me get into John and Shawn's wedding."

"Wha-oh yeah." Ted's eyes widened as he remembered that.

"Yep." James tightened his grip and smiled. To an outside observer it would appear he was being extra friendly but to Ted, there was more than a little bit of a threat to it. "So how about we start bouncing ideas off each other buddy?"

"Right now?"

"Uh huh. Unless you have somewhere more important to be."

"Uh…no, I'm good." Ted swallowed nervously while looking to Natalya for help. She wasn't offering any though. She just shook her head and checked around to make sure Mark or Vince weren't coming around. "I was um…I was thinking maybe you could be disguised as a caterer-"

"Which would work fine with the reception," James interrupted. "But uh…what would the caterer be doing at the actual wedding?"

"Uh…I don't know?" Ted was having a hard time keeping his voice normal. James could be intimidating without trying and when he did try, it really was something scary. He towered nearly a foot above Ted's head and he was built like a damn truck. If he was so inclined, he could easily pick Ted right up and break him in half and he would probably find it funny. "Maybe uh…we disguise you as an old man? You know like uh…we get make-up and prosthetics and put you in a wheelchair and say you're my grandpa that I have to take care of for the day."

James raised his eyebrows and thought that one over. "Hmmm…I like it." He let go of Ted and patted him on the head. "Good job Teddy." He started smoothing down his shirt. "I'll leave you to get all those fun materials together and stuff and get back to you." He tapped the side of Ted's face twice before walking off, leaving Ted to let out a long sigh and lean back against the wall.

Natalya chuckled lowly and shook her head. "What are you going to say to Shawn if he finds out and wants to kill you?"

Ted licked his lower lip and held up two fingers. "Two words: self preservation."

"…Yeah that one should work."

"It better. If not, I'll run and use Cody as a human shield. You know, whatever works."

…

Hunter sat alone at the bar, nursing a drink in his hand. He had been doing that ever since the confrontation with John after the last Raw. It bothered him greatly that he had been threatened by goody two shoes Cena. Then again, given that everything involving Cena had been bothering him lately, that wasn't too unusual. "Fucker," he muttered under his breath. He took a long drink of his whiskey and curled his lip in disgust. Good boys like Cena had always gotten on his nerves. Hunter was the type to love finding flaws in people and exploiting them to his advantage. It was a game to him, one that he had perfected over the years. Take Randy for example. The kid's ego had always been one of his main flaws, so Hunter had built him up and then tore him down quite viciously. John though, he didn't have the kind of flaw that was any good to exploit. He was genuinely a nice guy, he worked his ass off, he did all sorts of things for the kids and soldiers, and there was just so much more but he wasn't going to keep thinking like that since it would just make him gag.

Professionally, he didn't have a problem with John. Given that he and Stephanie were set to take the WWE empire one day, John was the kind of guy he knew he would need around. He had his share of haters but the kids loved him and the parents were more than happy to buy his merchandise for their kids. He equaled money. But personally, he wanted his head on a stick and he wanted it in the worst way.

It all came down to Shawn. The one person Hunter wanted but couldn't have. Shawn had been his friend for over a decade and knew the games he had played on people. Back in the old days, it had never bothered him. He had hated everyone and everything, including himself. But once he left and found religion, he had become a new man. Sure he had made sure to try to stay friends with Hunter, given everything Hunter had done for him in the past, but the relationship was different. They had gone through periods of estrangement over the things Hunter had done. And now he would never be with Hunter the way Hunter wanted him to. Despite how hard Hunter tried to prove himself, Shawn could never trust him in that way.

And then fucking Cena…fucking perfect goody two shoes Cena just ruined things even more. Something had to be done. But what? That was what Hunter was trying to figure out. It crossed his mind to put some steroids in his drink and have him fail a wellness test and get him in trouble with Vince. Only problem was, he knew that Shawn knew John didn't take steroids, plus he had used that method to get someone else in trouble in the past. Shawn would figure out it was him. No, if he was going to do something, he had to do something new and different.

"Ah hell." He finished his drink and got up to his feet, feeling a bit wobbly. He had had more than what he needed to while he had been there. Part of him wanted to stay and have even more but the other part of him was ready to go. He knew Shawn was having some sort of bachelor party tonight and he was going to find out where. He would talk to him again. Make him listen better this time. And if that didn't work…well…he would figure it the hell out from there.

…

"So why exactly are John and I having separate bachelor parties?" Shawn asked because he still had figured that one out. He had been intending to just have one party for the both of them but before he knew it, his friends had hijacked his own party from him. He had Jeff, Mor, Mark, Jeff, Adam, Phil, Matt and Cody all in a car with him, on their way to a location that he didn't know yet. Evan and Jay had an autograph signing so they couldn't be there, James wasn't invited, Ted was AWOL and Randy was keeping John company.

"Because that's the way it has to be done," Jeff insisted. "Who the hell has a bachelor party with their fiancé? That's not just done man."

"I thought you were all about doing stuff that's not done."

"Well yeah sometimes. But this isn't one of them. Besides, once you're married, you'll have all the time in the world to do things with each other! This is your hurrah with all of us."

"Your last chance to have real fun," Mor piped in. "Because once you're married you're going to be all boring and shit."

"Isn't he kind of boring now?" Adam asked. He was joking but it still made Shawn turn around in his seat and glare at him.

"I am not boring!" He started to turn back around but then stopped when the thought began to worry him. "Am I?"

"Adam dear, you weren't supposed to tell him that," Matt said in a loud fake whisper. It was too much fun to fuck with Shawn to pass this opportunity up. "His old fragile mind can't take it."

"Oh fuck off you assholes!" Shawn turned all the way back around and made an angry face. "I should kick you all in the face when we get out of the car."

Mark chuckled lowly and turned into the parking lot. "Well get that foot ready sexy boy because we're here."

"And where is here exactly?" Shawn asked, already opening the door so he could get out. "How do we have a bachelor party if the guest of honor doesn't even-oh you have to be kidding me." He blinked furiously and rubbed his eyes, hoping he wasn't seeing what he thought he was. He was though. His friends had taken him to a strip club and he couldn't even begin to be surprised. "Why-"

"Well where else are you supposed to have a bachelor party?" Jeff asked.

"Maybe somewhere that's not a strip club?"

"Oh Shawn…" Jeff shook his head and patted his shoulder. "You're so silly!"

Shawn sighed as everyone but Phil took off ahead of him. This clearly wasn't supposed to be for him. This was for them, which was a little messed up in his book given that this was his party.

"If it makes you feel any better, I tried to tell them no," Phil said with a sigh. "But I got overruled."

"I have no doubt about that. Thanks for trying though."

"Any time."

…

"You didn't have to stay with me tonight you know," John said as he and Randy loaded the beer into the car. They had eaten at Taco Bell a little bit ago and they had just gotten done getting some beer from the store so they could drink it while watching some basketball. "You could have gone with the others."

"You're right," Randy admitted. He got into the car and waited for John to get into the driver's seat before continuing on. "But you're my best friend so I stayed with you."

"Well thank you," John said. He started the car and checked around to make sure no other cars were coming before pulling out of their parking space. "I appreciate that."

"Besides, I have to plan your bachelor party anyway."

"Right, of course. No strip club."

Randy's head snapped in his direction. "But-"

"No strip club," John repeated.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like them. They're skeezy."

"First of all, not all of them are skeezy. Believe me, I know."

John snorted a bit. "Yeah, I'm well aware of that."

"Oh shut up."

"But you-"

"Ah da da da!" Randy held up his hand until John fell silent. "That's better." He put his hand back down. "Now I'll have you know that since I'm planning this thing, you don't get a say in it. You just need to show up."

"Uh…yeah, I want to object to that," John said with a slow nod. "I'm not going to have fun at a strip club."

"Well what if we brought the strippers to the hotel room?"

John had to take a deep breath and count to ten before addressing that one. "What is it with you and strippers? Why can't I have a non-stripper bachelor party?"

"Because that just does not work!" Randy replied. "It's like having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the peanut butter. Or the jelly. Either way, it don't work." He watched John roll his eyes with a frown. "Do you have some unknown problem with strippers? Is that it? Do you discriminate against strippers?"

"No I don't," John said, trying to keep his eyes on the road instead of Randy. "I just only need one person taking their clothes off and grinding all up on me and that's Shawn."

"Wow…that's sweet and delightfully vomit inducing."

John's eye twitched. "Delightfully vomit inducing? What the fuck does that even mean?"

"Uh…honestly? I don't really know. I heard Ted say it once."

"You spend too much time with him."

"Yeah I-JOHN!"

John didn't even have time to react. A car smashed into them on his side so hard they went off the road and crashed into the nearest tree. He heard glass breaking, himself and Randy screaming before his head bounced violently off the side of the car and he slumped over unconscious.