Good day all my readers! I decided to do shout outs cause I'm awesome and so are these people.

This chapter goes to thisismedealwithit. They specifically asked for... well, you gotta read to find out, but yeah, they asked, and thusly, they shall receive.

Next up is Kurtulmak. This fine person gave me a well rounded review as well as a little clip around the ear to tell me to shut up and write and forget trolling for reviews and basically remember why I started writing (for the enjoyment). Thanks for that mate, you brought me back to earth.

Shiso Kitsune has been lurking around throwing me reviews here and there for a while now so I'd just like to throw a shout-out back. I got your back if you got mine... *looks around suspiciously for any angry fans* (If you wana understand this, just read the review S.K. left in the previous chapter)

A special mention goes out to Orannis4 for being my 100th reviewer! Whether it was planned or lucky coincidence, this fine fellow has been following me for a while now and so I'm happy to have O' as my number 100.

And finally, I gotta do the biggest shout out to amaranteotaku. She has been throwing me confidence boosting reviews left, right and center for the last few months and just happened to leave one in chapter 11 that gave me fuzzy feelings in my tummy. Such love! So thank you very much for the continuing support and I'll do my best to keep you entertained.

And with that epic intro done, I now allow you to continue on with the bit you actually came here to read.

Chapter 12

"SAAAAAAAASUKE-KUUUUUUUUUUN!"

Sweat burned as it dripped into his eyes, his lungs screamed at him from lack of oxygen, his legs buckled at the knees in fear and his whole body felt as sturdy as a wet noodle and yet he kept running. A scarce glimpse over his shoulder confirmed that the rising dust cloud was only getting bigger as the monster grew in size. Balling his fist and grunting in exertion, Sauske dipped his head and forced himself to run even faster. Being the last Uchiha and the epitome of cool and all that sure had its let downs.

XxXxXxX

Naruto was traipsing along unhappily kicking stones as she went. She was mostly ignored as the villages didn't recognise her, but Naruto herself didn't notice the lack of glares and whispers. Seriously, turning into a girl was the last thing she wanted! Like, not that there was anything wrong with them but it's just... you know... there all soft and... like flowers and... and are... are just girls. In any case, being a girl sucked and Naruto couldn't want anything less than this. Sighing again, she continued kicking the hapless rock until a faint rumble in the distance made her look up.

She spied a rising dust cloud that was rapidly growing closer with every second passing. Whenever such an occurrence happened, it could only mean one thing.

Sasuke.

And his screaming legion of fangirls too.

In other words, the perfect opportunity to have a laugh in an otherwise completely miserable day. Quickly running towards the noise, Naruto spied a shop with the perfect view of the mayhem. Dashing in, she settled herself down in the doorway, half her face peeking out. Her little smile grew in proportionate with the growing noise; the excitement building. Her eyes then twinkled as she saw Sasuke round the street corner at high speed. A chuckle then emerged as she watched the Uchiha bolt down the street as the screaming masses of female rounded the corner after him.

Seeing the wide eyed look of panic of his face was too much for Naruto and the girl collapsed in a laughing fit, rolling around as the memory was played over and over in her head. Looking up through the tears, she then noticed that the black smudge of an Uchiha was rapidly growing. Wiping her eyes, she took another look. It wasn't so much that he was growing, it's just he was getting closer, and fast. Her eyes then widened as she realised where he was headed. She started scrambling to try and get out of the way but to no avail. Sasuke careered in through the door, tripped over the blond bump beneath his feet and sent the both of them down in a tangled mess.

Cringing in pain, Sasuke looked back down and saw behind him a blond girl nursing a bruised side from where he kicked her.

'Oh no... not another one...'

The reaction though was far more favourable than he could have imagined.

"Damnit Teme, watch out where you're going! That hurt!"

"Naruto?"

His brilliant mind started whirring as he factored in the new variable. He saw the girls rapidly closing in. He saw the back door too far away to reach in time. He saw Naruto was a girl.

He saw a plan.

"OI!"

With a startled shout, Naruto was dragged up and bustled out of the shop by a determined Sasuke.

XxXxXxX

"W... what?"

One girl of the Sasuke fan mass noticed something. A heartbreaking something. No, it was worse than a heartbreak. Uchiha Sasuke was walking out of that shop with a girl on his arm! She was even resting her head on his shoulder as they walked!

The mob screeched to a stop and looked on with wide eyes at the totally impossible scene. Sasuke, their Sasuke, was walking with some blond girl! Instantly surrounded, Sasuke looked around cautiously at the varying emotions displayed. Horror, despair, betrayal, devastation and anger were just a few he picked up as he tried to move forward.

"Uhhhh... what? Teme, what the hell did you knock me out for?"

Eyes numbering in what seemed thousands instantly fell on the girl by Sasuke's side, now nursing her head. A moment of silence passed before a roar of disapproval erupted from the crowd.

"YOU CANNOT TALK TO SASUKE-SAMA LIKE THAT!"

"HOW DARE THAT LITTLE SLUT SAY SUCH A THING MASTER UCHIHA! THE NERVE!"

"SKANK!"

"WE SHOULD STRING THAT LITTLE BLOND WHORE UP BY HER TOES AND BEAT HER LIKE A PINATA!"

"SHAVE HER HEAD!"

As one can imagine, those were the nicer of the insults that instantly bombarded Naruto. Still not totally back from unconsciousness, Naruto just grabbed onto the supporting arm tighter and clenched her eyes shut, hoping that the arm would shoo away all the noise. Instead, the noise paused for a moment before exploding into an even louder volume, the air filled with death threats, suicide threats and arson threats at the sight of Naruto clinging on tightly to a now slightly blushing Sasuke.

Quickly though, the noise became too much for the last Uchiha.

"SHUT UP!"

Silence instantly followed with a faint 'up... up... up...' echoing in the distance. Naruto, now wondering if she had been killed or not, tentatively opened one eye and looked around. What she saw was a ring of girls of all ages looking on in shock. Following their eyes, she looked up and saw a heavily breathing Sasuke standing above her.

'Why am I so close to the teme?'

Following his body down, Naruto then realised that it was actually Sasuke's arm that she had been clinging to so tightly. With a scream, she let go and dropped to her behind before scrabbling away from him.

"What the hell Sasuke?"

Instantly, the eyes dropped to Naruto and the girl froze under the weight of killing intent focused at her. One or two civilians don't have all that much strength behind their gaze, but multiply that by a hundred and things start getting serious. Totally ignoring them though, Sasuke walked across to Naruto and tenderly picked her up. Totally shocked, Naruto didn't offer any resistance as her 'saviour' gently dusted her down.

"Are you ok, Naruko-chan?"

"What the f-"

With a sharp pull, Sasuke had pulled Naruto in close and buried his face into her hair, right beside her ear. He then began whispering into the disgusted blond's ear.

"Shut up dobe, I don't like this any more than you do. Less even. The ONLY reason I am doing this is to get rid of this plague that follows me everywhere. Now be quiet and play along and I'll buy you an all you can eat seat at that ramen place of yours."

Naruto then stiffened as Sasuke started running a loving hand up and down her lower back. As impossible as it sounded, Naruto was still seriously tossing up if even ramen was worth this. She shuddered as Sasuke nuzzled into her neck a little more. Realising she probably wouldn't get out of this alive any other way, Naruto decided to make a compromise.

"You make that a week's worth of free ramen, plus some one on one time with Kakashi and you have yourself a deal."

Growling unhappily, Sasuke nodded. Trying his best not to puke, he pulled himself from the blond locks he had his face buried in and looked around. The reaction was even better than he could have dreamed.

Every single one of the girls jaws were touching the ground and their eyes were so wide Sasuke guessed that the only thing holding their eye balls in was the optic nerve. Taking a cautious step forward, he suppressed a repulsed shiver and grabbed Naruto's hand. He heard the girl stifle a gag and stiffly step forward too.

Taking a shaky breath, Sasuke tried to keep his voice as steady as possible. "O-ok girls. You need to stop chasing me around now. This is Naruko...chan... and we are d... da... *cough* we're daaaat... *sigh* we're dating."

Naruto visibly wilted at the name Sasuke gave her but weathered it, all the while chanting, "Weeks free ramen, Weeks free ramen, Weeks free ramen."

One irate girl though stepped forward and pointed accusingly at Naruto. "Whatever! I totally deserve to be your girlfriend so much more than that flat-chested bimbo! I've been chasing you since before the academy, but I have never even seen her attempt to get you once!"

Sasuke growled at her tenacity and took a menacing step forward. "Whether you have seen her or not before doesn't matter. She passed the academy test, you didn't. She does have breasts, you don't. And the reason why I chose her is because she didn't chase me!"

Naruto just picked up the tempo of 'weeks free ramen' and desperately tried not to think about Sasuke staring at her chest. He wasn't of course, but every other girl in the vicinity was.

"I must admit, he's right."

"Is that what Sasuke-sama really likes in a girl?"

"I thought he liked long hair? Maybe he likes both..."

"I hope I get big boobs one day so Sasuke-kun will look at me."

"I bet their fake."

Watching the now mortified girl slink back into the crowd covering her chest, Sasuke allowed a smirk of success. This was going perfectly.

Of course though, 'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible time', as quoted by Edward Murphy. Now was no exclusion. Another brass girl then stepped forward and smiled evilly at them.

"I haven't even seen her before. None of us have! For all we know, she could be a he! So prove it."

Sasuke's eyes widened and Naruto's chanting picked up speed again.

"P-prove it?"

The girl nodded. "Yup! Kiss her. Show us that you aren't just trying to pull another one over us."

Instantly the blood drained from Sasuke's face as he turned to face the still mumbling girl attached to his hand. Nothing he thought of ended up working.

On one hand, he could tell all those evil creatures to rack off and mind their own business. That wouldn't work though because they never listened before and that would just prove to them that the 'Naruko' and Sasuke pair was false. An added downside to that was that he was now stuck in the middle of a ring of girls and even with his speed, he wouldn't be able to avoid that many bodies.

On the other hand, he could kiss Naruto and be done with it. But. It was Naruto. It didn't matter how girly she currently looked, Naruto was still a boy. He'd already accidentally kissed him once and that was one far too many times by anyone's taste. Turning to face the blond, Sasuke's mind shut down. It was all a loss. All a loss...

The next thing though came as a total surprise. While Naruto had been chanting externally, internally her mind had been running a mile a minute. There was NO way in hell that she was kissing Sasuke and she did not want to lose that week of ramen and Kakashi. So quickly steeling herself, she pulled Sasuke in close. She purposely pressed his arm in-between her breasts and wriggled around slightly to increase the effect. The result was instantaneous as Sasuke instantly hit levels of red unknown and all the girls dropped their jaws for the second time that day.

"Oh come now. We don't need to kiss to prove anything. Besides, we're saving that for tonight, aren't we, Sasuke-kuuuuuun~!"

"WHAT THE F-"

Instantly copying the Uchiha's previous move, Naruto pulled his head close and pretended to nibble on Sasuke's ear.

"Shut up! There is absolutely NO amount of ramen on this world that would make me kiss you again! And seeming you were so dumbstruck, I decided to do things my way. You play along and we'll hopefully be out of here soon enough, no kissing."

Leaning back, Naruto put on a false smile and gently blew into Sasuke's ear, eliciting a rush of goosebumps down the boys back.

Trailing her hand down his cheek, 'Naruko' played with a loose hair strand hanging down the Uchiha's brow. She put on an adorable pout and looked up at Sasuke disappointedly. "Would you really allow these big, mean girls to ruin our night?"

A clammy sweat broke out all over the boy but he swallowed the enormous lump in his throat and stiffly shook his head.

Naruto's reaction was immediate. Her enormously cute eyes widened exponentially, her smile stretched and her boobs bounced happily as she jumped onto the frozen boys arm, trapping it between them again.

"Yay! Thanks Ducky-kun! I knew you wouldn't let them destroy our night together!"

Sasuke looked down at Naruto in horror. "Ducky-kun?"

All the girls looked at Naruto in envy. "Ducky-kun?"

Naruto smiled brightly and beamed it around at the girls. "Yup! Who else has such an adorable hairstyle that looks just like the fluffy bottom of a cute lil ducky?"

She played with the back of Sasuke's hair while the boy twitched violently. Naruto squee'd at the softness. "SO CUTE!"

Thoroughly grossed out and in need of a serious shower, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand and quickly led the charge back towards the Uchiha state. All the girls robotically parted as they stared on in shock as the pair rushed through them.

Naruto's then let out a travelling squeal and giggle, making everyone blush as the words reached them. "My, you want to do this already Ducky-kun? Just be gentle ok? It's my first time!"

Bile filled Sasuke's mouth but he quickly swallowed it back down with a dangerous thought. 'As soon as we get to my home dobe I am killing you. I swear on my family's honour!'

As they passed the last of the girls, Naruto turned back and looked at the stunned group. She let out a high pitched giggle and pulled down one eyelid.

"Maybe next time honey!"

XxXxXxX

A/N – Wow that was a really easy chapter to write. Fun too! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did too =D I do have a reason for writing this chapter the way I did too and that will be explained in the next one. For now though, I hope you had your fix of laughs and I shall see you next time!

Lanky Nathan

P.S. If anyone picks up any mistakes I missed, let me know yeah?