Thanks for all the reviews! My goal for this chapter is 12-15 (probably not gonna happen. XD) But, I can hope, right? XD Gonna keep this short and sweet. ;)
Enjoy this chapter and please review!
I don't own the song 'Numb' or 'The Outsiders'
This chapter will probably be confusing, but it's just flashing back to the past.
'Nuff talking. Heres chapter 2.
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I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
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((Sodapop's POV))
I made them promise to stop fighting. But what do they do when I turn my back on them for one second? Fight. Just fight like they totally forgot that I made them PROMISE to stop. Is it really that hard to do a simple promise? I don't think so.
I remember that night I lost it. I couldn't take the arguing and them yelling at me to side. I hate being the middle child. It always seems like a good place, but to me, its hell. I ran out of the house. I couldn't think. I just ran. I couldn't take the yelling. I just. Couldn't. Take. It.
I remember Pony and Darry caught me. I told them I was sick and tired of the constant arguing and fighting. Darry and Pony promised to stop. I bet they only promised to stop just so I would come back. Well, I hope it made them happy.
I remember the first time they argued after they promised. Everytime I think of it, I want to run away. But I mean run away. Far from them. Far from the arguing. Far from everything.
I hate remembering it…It breaks me. I remember the looks on their faces. I remember Darry looking like I just shot him. He was pale. He had a apologetic look. Pony was the same. I just shook my head. "Just a simple promise," I yelled, and ran out of that house. I don't know if they ran after me. I didn't come back that whole night.
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((Flash back to fight; Ponys POV))
I just started school. I wasn't doing to hot, considering the gang lost two good buddies. I can't seem to get back to the groove. It just doesn't feel right without them. Life doesn't seem right without them.
I was lounging on the couch, reading a book. I was bored. I worked on my homework. I didn't finish it. I don't feel like it.
I started to doze off, but I was awoken by someone slamming the door. Darry. Only Darry slams the door when he's real angry. I didn't open my eyes. I didn't want to deal with him if he's angry.
I heard Darry storm off into the kitchen. I thought I was in the clear to hopefully make It to my room and not be stopped by him. I started fast walking to my room.
"Ponyboy Curtis, get your ass in here. NOW," Darry yelled. Damn it..
"What?" I asked, walking into the kitchen.
"Explain to me this," He said quite harsh, and handed me a piece of paper. I looked at it. It said 'Report Card'. Shit.
I looked over my card. B,C,D,D,C,F. Shit. Im failing almost all my subjects. Shit. Shit. SHIT.
"Well, kiddo, gonna explain to me why your failing?" Darry yelled.
"Uh-.." I couldn't think of what to say to him. If I tell him its because of Johnny and Dallys death, he'll just yell even more. What do I tell him? SHIT.
"Well, the grades aint gonna explain themselves!" He yells even louder.
Im about to lose it. I can't take it when he yells. I can feel the anger boil inside me…
"Shut up Darry! Its because of you! Your always yelling at me! I never see you yelling at Soda! But that's only because he dropped out! You just feel sorry for him! Why do you have to be on my ass? Im tired of you always yelling at me! " I yell. I looked at Darry. He was shocked, but at the same time even more furious. He looked like he was about to yell, but he stopped when someone interrupted our fight. It was Soda.
"God damn, you guys! Why can't you just stop? Was it really that hard to keep a simple promise?" Soda yelled angrily. I looked at Darry. He was staring at Soda.
"Soda-" "Just shut it. It was a simple promise. A SIMPLE PROMISE," he yelled, and looked like he was on the verge of tears. I tried to say something, but he just shook his head and ran out the door.
And that was the night hell broke loose for the gang.
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(Present, still Ponys POV)
"Darry, why?" I scream.
"I never cared about you. I can't believe I gave up my life for you. I never liked you. You just ruined me. I don't want you anymore," he hissed.
I was speechless. I can't believe it. I was right. Darry never cared about me. I can't believe I believed myself…after all those years…
Darry was putting me in a boys home. A fucking. Boys. Home. The second he was able to, he gave me right up. Not Soda. I can't believe it…
Suddenly, I was screaming, "I hate you,…you bastard! How could you do this?" at Darry. It didn't do anything. He just shook his head and left me.
I saw Soda. He was standing where Darry was.
"I never cared about you either. Im glad I don't have to see you anymore," he hissed, and walked off like Darry.
What? I mean, I can understand Darry...but Soda?
"Soda, don't leave me!" I screamed. Nothing. He didn't turn around.
I kept screaming.I can't believe him…how could he…
"Ponyboy, wake up!" A voice yelled at me.
I opened my eyes to a tired looking Soda.
"What," I said tiredly.
"You were screaming your head off," he said, standing up from the bed.
"Oh," I said, and stared at my hands. I looked up at Soda, and I swear I saw him. I saw the old him. Before he started the drugs and crap. Then, his face changed. Back to the grumpy Soda. Back to the druggy Soda. Back to the Soda that breaks my heart every time I look at him.
"Well, quit the yelling. I was trying to sleep," he snapped.
"whatever," I muttered.
He growled and stormed out of my room. So, it was just a dream..or so say a nightmare. But was so scary about it? Darry looked happy. Soda seemed happy too. Man, did they really want me gone? Maybe I should run away. If it meant making them happy…
I looked at my alarm clock. 6:30 am. I had to go to school at 8:00 am. I decided to take a shower.
I tiredly dragged my butt out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I passed Sodas room…the room we use to share…When he didn't hate me or Darry...
I sighed and walked into the bathroom and showered. It felt so good when the hot water hit my skin.
After my shower, I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist and ran to my room. I quickly dressed into jeans and a t-shirt, put on my old converse, and walked out and into the kitchen, hoping Darry wasn't awake yet. I hoped I could get a quick meal, and then leave before he wakes. Sadly, he was in the kitchen. I silently cursed to myself. But then again, I wondered why I was so scared of him. Then, I think of what he can do. He can put me in a boys home. But that wouldn't hurt me much. Its not like anyone would miss me.
"Ponyboy Curtis, get your ass over here!" Darry snapped when he saw me come in. Great. What an awesome way to start off my morning.
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And I know
I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.
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