Thank you to all who reviewed and Favorited my story. Much appreciated. :D
ILovePepsi2: Darry does know, he tried to tell Soda to stop, but gave up. I'm going to add that into future chapters. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own 'nuffin. Sad, isn't it? Be ready for much drama.
CHAPTER FOUR!
XXXXXX
Can't you see that you're smothering me,
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you.
XXXXXX
Ponyboys POV
Shit, i thought, im in deep trouble. I never should have done that. I just...man, what did i get myself into...
"well, you going to tell us or are we going to have to sit here all night?" Darry said with anger in his voice.
What do i say...do i tell the truth? dammit what the hell was i thinking...
"I uhm...went to the other side of town-" "You WHAT? You skipped school and went across town? What the hell were you doing there?" Darry yelled furiously, interrupting me.
"I uhm...i was at the cemetery," I muttered loud enough for Darry and Soda to hear. I almost forgot Soda was here...he was just staring at me and Darry with hate and anger. He didn't say a word. By the way he looked, he has had beer. That probably made him even more angry...
Darry was quiet. I took a quick look at him. He looked even more furious.
Darry broke the long silence. "Why the hell were you at the cemetery and not at school?" Darry said, trying not to let his voice raise. He failed miserably. He should know why i was there. Did he completely forget about Mom and dad?
What do i tell him? 'Oh i didn't feel like going to school so i skipped and went to the cemetery and talked to mom and dad'. Sounds convincing enough not to ground me? Yeah, right.
"I wanted to visit mom and dad," I muttered.
Darry looked less furious, and more caring. Maybe he'll let me off the hook-
"Ponyboy Curtis, you do not skip school! I don't know why the hell you did that, but you are in shit loads of trouble," Darry yelled.
Nope. Im defiantly not off the hook.
"Darry i just wanted-" "I don't want to hear your lame excuses! You need to grow up and use your head! If you skip school, your going to loose your dream! You say you want to get out of here, well kiddo, you gotta try harder! I do everything for you and all you do is do stupid things and goofing off! I swear, you're going to do something you can't get out of! You need to use your fucking head!" Darry yelled even louder than before. Great, i pissed him off.
Im going to break...Im going to break...Im going to break...
"I wish you would do something right, Ponyboy Curtis. Im so pissed at you. Next time you EVER get into trouble, im not going to help you. You're on your own. If you don't want to follow my rules, i ain't gonna help you no more," Darry hissed.
Im going to break-
"Ponyboy, why the hell can't you use your fucking head? I tell you almost every second but you go off and do something so fucking stupid," Darry yelled.
I broke.
"Darry, just shut the fuck up. Im tired of you yelling at me! Why can't you see that i don't want to be like you or be fucking perfect! I don't want to follow your fucking rules! Im tired of you! Can't you see that i hate this? All you do is yell yell yell! Im fucking tired of it! I don't use my head, so what! Can't you stop being a fucking pain in the ass and stop yelling at me for once?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I didn't give Darry time to talk. Soda stood up and got ready to yell, but i didn't let him.
"And you, i hate what you did to yourself! You go off and do fucking drugs and waist your life away just because we broke a promise! I know you probably hate us, but that doesn't mean you have to waste your life! I hate you for that! I want my old brother i loved! I want us to be a family again! Why can't you guys see that?" I yelled.
Silence. I looked at Soda. His eyes wide. His face was blank. I looked at Darry. He looked the same, but he had anger written all over his face. Darry looked like he was about to kill me. He was going to yell.
I wasn't going to hear this. Im through with him. Im through with both of them.
"I hate you. I hate you both. Can't you see that we are falling apart? Or are you to drunk or to furious to see that? You want me gone. You want me away," I hissed, while backing towards the door. They said nothing. They just stared at me with wide eyes. I was about to run out the door, but i turned around.
"I HATE YOU!" i screamed, and ran out the door. Im running away, but im going alone. No one will know where i am. Im tired of this shit and im not going through it anymore. I hope what i said hit them. And maybe changed them. Probably not. They're going to say the same. Well, i don't care anymore. I don't want to go through with them anymore. I just ran. I don't know where im going. They wouldn't come after me. They hate me! They don't give shit about me anymore. I just hope that there happy that im gone. Thats all i want. I don't mean to say i hate them. Or maybe i did...I just want my old brothers back...I suddenly felt something hit my head hard and i fell to the ground, and hit my head again, and went unconscious.
Darrys POV
Did he just run...again? Did he just say...all of that? Does he actually...hate us? Oh god, this can't be happening again. Fuck. Did he really mean all that? 'I hate you!' kept on repeating in my head...god he meant that...i screwed up big time...
I forgot about Soda. I looked at him and saw him staring at the door wide-eyed. Slowly he looked at me.
"D-did he mean all that?" Soda stuttered.
I shrugged, not knowing. He probably did.
I sat in my chair and buried my face in my hands. God i screwed up, i lost Pony, he hates me, shit shit shit.
"What do we do?" Soda said, interrupting my thoughts. Wait, is he caring? Since when did he start caring?
"Now why the hell do you care? I thought you hated him?" I said bitterly.
Soda looked shocked.
" I just...God damnit, i want you guys to stop arguing! It tore us apart! Now we aren't a family anymore and we lost Pony! I don't hate him or you, im just sick and tired of all the fucking yelling!" He yelled, and looked like on the verge of tears. I wasn't convinced he cared.
"Then explain the drugs and drinking," I hissed.
" I just lost it, okay? I didn't care about myself or anyone anymore. When Pony said that...I...I just..." Soda stopped and started sobbing.
I didn't know what to do. What do i say to him? He hates us, now he cares?
God, i just want our life to go back to normal...but i know we're far from normal.
Ponys gone, and i don't know where he is. I screwed up. I went to far. I pushed him over the limit. He broke, and its all my fault.
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.
XXXXXX
I need some answers on the next chapter:
1) Where should Ponyboy run away to?
2) What should happen to Pony? (I have some ideas, but other ideas are good too. ^^)
hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews would be real sweet. :) Tell me if im doing bad or good. :D