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Onward with the story!
XXXXXX
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.
XXXXXX
I opened my eyes and sat up, instantly regretting it. My head started to throb and the world started spinning. I closed my eyes and just sat there, waiting for the pain to go away. After five minutes, I opened my eyes again. My head still hurt somethin' awful, but I tried to ignore it. I would probably regret that later.
I stood up and looked around. It was still dark, but I could tell it was close to sunrise. I looked around and noticed I'm near Buck's parking lot. Why the hell am I all the way out here? I thought. Then, it hit me.
I broke. I couldn't take it anymore. Darry pushed me past my limit. I blew up on them.
I wonder if they're out looking for me. Yeah, right, I scoffed. They don't give a shit about me anymore. I just hope they're happy I'm gone.
I looked over at Buck's. It looked lit up and I could hear the loud music. There must still be a party. Man its cold. Almost as if to prove my point, I started shivering. How did I not notice that earlier?
Maybe I could get into Buck's and warm up. I really didn't feel like staying out here much longer. Standing out in the cold, unsure where to go, reminded me of times when Johnny- No. I pushed those thoughts away. I can't think of them…not now.
I sighed. I kneow I'm not allowed to go even near Buck's, but I don't care anymore. Did it really matter anyways? I'm on my own now.
I stood up and walked over to the building. I walked inside, not bothering to knock. I looked around and saw the place packed. People were drinking, laughing, dancing, kissing, yelling…..
I started walking around when suddenly I was smacked on the shoulder.
"Well, if it ain't Ponyboy Curtis! What the hell you doin' here this early?" Curly Shepard slurred at me. My nose instinctively scrunched up as I could smell the beer on his breath.
I ignored the stench and smiled at him. Me and Curly are pretty good friends. We've got each other's backs, but we do get angry at each other occasionally.
"Hey, Curly. Just cooling off," I said composedly. I wasn't going to tell him what happened. I mean, I am cooling off. It's not a total lie.
"Well! I never knew I would see you here," Curly laughed.
"Well, I was walking, and I just…ended up here. What about you? Why are you here so early? Shouldn't you be breaking windows or somethin'?" I yelled over the loud music.
"Man, its loud. Come on, let's go outside where we can hear," Curly yelled, and we both walked outside.
I sat down on the ground and so did Curly.
"So, you gonna tell me why you're here?" I said.
"Man, why do you care so much?" Curly laughed, but I didn't return it.
"Fine, fine, I'll tell ya. Earlier me and Tim were hangin' around and I got bored so I started messin' around. Somehow I managed to break one of Tim's car windows and piss him off. He kicked me out, and kicked the living shit out of me. That's how I got this black eye," Curly said, and pointed to his eye.
I just now noticed it. I took in just how bad he looked and felt a pang of sympathy. I guess things really were rough all over.
"Sorry to hear man," I said.
"Eh, whatever," Curly said. Then there was a silence. Finally, Curly spoke again.
"What's your real reason you're here?" Curly said.
I looked at him and saw he was serious. I guess it's my turn to tell him why I'm here. I told him the full story. I told him about Darry's yelling and hurting me, Soda's drug and drinking problem, and so on.
"Man Curtis, that's tough," Curly said.
"Yeah," I said.
Another silence.
"Hey listen; I'm going to New York. I'm tired of being here. I don't want to be near Tim anymore and I gotta start over somewhere. You wanna join in?" Curly asked.
New York. Do I wanna go? I considered my options for a minute. I mean, I need to get away, but do I want to go that far? I know I'm not ever going back home, but do I really want to go to New York?
The answer hit me fast and hard; hell yeah I do.
"Sure, man, I'll go," I said. I was excited, but nervous. I can't believe I'm really going.
"Alright. It's just you and me. We can leave right after I get some things and a car, which won't be too hard," Curly said.
"Okay. Need some help?" I asked. Might as well help my travelling buddy out, I reasoned. The sooner we get the stuff, the sooner we can leave this place.
"Sure," Curly said.
I'm going to New York. Am I going to regret this?
XXXXXX
Why won't Darry believe me? Damn it, I do care! I just gave up after they broke the promise! What was I supposed to do? Let it slide and act like I don't care about them arguing?
When Pony yelled at me, the truth sure hit me hard. I was wasting my life away. His raging words made me really regret doing drugs and drinking.
Man, I feel like this is my entire fault. If I didn't do the drugs, we would still be a family. It's my fault we fell apart. It's my fault we aren't a family. It's my fault we ain't a gang no more…
Steve. I pushed him out of my life. I didn't care about him or anyone else anymore. How could I do that? He was my best friend!
I screwed up big time.
Now my little brother is gone.
I hate my life.
I need to find Pony and apologize. But where the hell would he be?
Darry won't go. He said Pony needs to 'cool' off. What the hell? Did he not hear what Pony said? He hates us! Damn it, he is not coming back!
Darry told me not to go. Pony wouldn't listen to me. I wouldn't blame him. He hates me. I hate myself.
God damn it. I screwed up big time.
XXXXXXX
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
And there you have it! Chapter five! Thanks to all who review. It makes my day.
I have a question! Which story would you like me to start on? (all stories will be put up and are all Outsiders):
1.Train Crash: Darry, Pony, and Soda are in a train crash.
2.Wishes sometimes don't come true: Pony and Koda (steves little sister, older than Pony) are out walking when something tragic happens that may cause these two to lose there life.
3.Dark days, tragic car wreck: Steve, Two-bit, and Pony are driving home when a drunk driver hits them head on.
Stay Gold! :D