Forgive me for not updating. I have suddenly come down with a case of writers block. But I just ate subway, and now I'm going to write; hopefully well.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders or the song Numb Warning: Curly/ Pony moment. NO SLASH. Possibly a cliff hanger, beware.

XxX

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

XxX

I was stupid for calling home. I knew that would happen no matter what. I just wanted to hear a voice, know there okay. I'm pretty sure the person who picked up was Darry; his voice still the same. But it was emotionless, which confuses me. He should be happy; I'm not there to be in his way.

"Ponyboy, come on!" Curly yelled from the other side of the diner. I picked up the phone and put it back up, and walked over to Curly. who was messing around, causing people to give him evil stares. I rolled my eyes; typical Curly.

When I sat down, he looked up at me, and his face expression changed and he stopped what he was doing. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," I sighed, knowing I wasn't.

"Bull. You look like your about to bawl. What's up, man?" I have no idea why he cares. It almost creeps me out, knowing that he isn't the type.

"It's nothing," I muttered, hoping he would just drop it. I really don't want to talk about this.

"Curtis, you know you suck at lying," he said. "Now, what's up? and no more lying. Truth only."

Now I'm officially creeped out. "Man, its," I could already feel the tears. "I just miss my brothers."

He didn't answer, but instead looked down at the table. "I wish Tim cared about me like your brothers cared-or used to-care about you."

Tim and Curly are two opposites. They don't get along most of the time. I then noticed the bruise again on his eye. "Tim does care. He just doesn't show it like my brothers..did."

"Yeah right," He looked up and smiled bitterly. "He only cares about Angela."

"I'm serious," I know this would be hard to make him believe me. "Your brother does care about you, not just Angela. Like I said, he shows it in a different way. He does things differently, but he does care about you."

He bit his lip and looked me in the eye. "You sure, man?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "You better be."

We were interrupted when the waitress came over. She was an old lady. "Hello boys! What can I get ya?" She pulled out a note pad and looked at me first.

"Water, please," I replied. She nodded and looked at Curly. "Same."

She smiled. "Be right back with waters." Then walked away, leaving us alone again.

I picked up the menu and started scanning the pages. Nothing was popping out at me, so I decided to get eggs. I set down the menu and saw Curly looking up at the ceiling. I wanted to ask him something. I wanted to know if he was still sure about going to New York. I know it was his idea, but now I really was hoping to turn around and go back to Tulsa. I honestly don't know why I did this. It seemed like a good idea at first, but I was still getting over my fight with Soda and Darry. I was angry, ready to escape. I didn't want to be there right then; I wanted to be far away.

"Curly," I sighed. I hope he wouldn't get angry. "Can I ask you something?"

He stopped looking at the ceiling then at me. "Shoot."

"Are you sure about going to New York?" I asked slowly.

He gave me a stupid look. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"

"Never mind," I gave up on that. The waitress came back with two glasses of waters and set them on the table. She took our orders, then was gone again.

xXXx

"Soda, come on. You have to," I sighed. We need more help, and decided on asking Two-Bit and Steve. Soda told me that him and Steve haven't been in contact for a long time, so he doesn't even know if Steve will even give him the time of day. I was going to ask Two-Bit, but I was still figuring out where I would find him.

"Dar, he ain't gonna listen to me!" Soda complained.

"Just try, okay?"

He groaned. "Fine."

I pulled into the DX station, knowing Steve still worked here. I remember Pony told me he came here and saw Steve. Soda lost his job here, due to drugs and alcohol. I pulled into a spot, then turned of the car. "Go."

He gave me a 'don't make me go' look. "No."

I wasn't going to let him do this. "Sodapop, go. Don't make me drag you out." He knew if he argued anymore, that would happen. He slowly got out and gave me a death glare, then walked inside the DX station.

XxX

I wish Darry wouldn't make me do this. Steve hates me, and won't give me the time of day. I looked back at Darry and saw him pulling out. I groaned, knowing I have to do this, if I want my brother back. My hands started to shake, and I suddenly started craving drugs. I know I said I would stop, but I need them now. I walked inside, causing the bell to ring. Steve came out, but at first didn't see me.

"What do you want?" he asked. He then looked up at me, and his eyes went wide. He then gave me a scowl. "Well if it ain't Sodapop Curtis."

"Steve-" he didn't let me finish.

"I don't know why the hell you're here, but you better get the hell out," he growled.

"Steve-"

"Get the hell-" I needed to tell him this now.

"I'm sorry."

He went silent.

XxX

And I know
I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.

Review, please.