Im pretty sure a lot of you hate me. Well, writing isnt freaking easy, along with balancing school, spring play, boyfriend shit, and graduation in a month. So please don't beg. Im trying to make time, I swear. So, enough of my nagging! heres a nice chapter for you all. Thanks for sticking around :)

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables? Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right, but not right now
I know you're wondering when.

XxX

"What?"

"Dar, you goin' deaf or somethin'?" Two-bit started. "I said, I think I know where they are."

"Two-bit, I heard you!" I yelled, but lowered my voice. "What do you mean? How?"

"Well," he began, "I was at the bar. Big surprise, huh? Anyway- It was gettin' loud inside and I wasn't up to bein' in there, so I grabbed me a beer and headed on out. I sat down, and just enjoyed the cold air and my beer. But I caught sight of two people talkin'. Being me, I wanted to hear what the buzz is about, so I scooted close enough to hear, but to where they can't see me. The one kid, Curly, asked Pony, "Wanna go to New York with me?" Pony sorta stood there for a while. I guess he was thinkin' or somethin'. Anyway, after awhile, he said, "Yeah, I'll go." They said some stuff I couldn't understand, and left. I caught glimpse of one of them, and knew it was Pony. To think, I thought they were drug dealers!" He chuckled a bit, but I gave him a look of 'Knock it off' and he continued on. "I kept on thinkin' 'bout why Pony was going, but I just pushed it off."

I was speechless. He knew something, and he didn't tell me! "Why didn't you tell me? I've spent sleepless days searching for Ponyboy! You could've told me, and maybe things would be normal!"

Now begins the yelling. "So this is my fault, Darry? It's my fault Pony ran away? It's my fucking fault that I ruined everything? Think about it." He shook his head and turned around, but looked back at me once more. "I wouldn't blame Pony for running away. You blame everyone else for things that you did. Maybe if you loosened your grip on life a bit, you'd see what the hell your doing to your damn family. Do you think you're really gonna get anywhere? Just think about it Darry. Maybe you'll understand this, and really understand the damn situation."

He never looked back. He just walked away from me, no more words said. He left me there, speechless.

What have I done?

XxX

"Curly, can I ask you a question?" I asked after a while of silence. We decided to ditch the car and go on foot. Curly seemed to have his mind set on something, and I didn't feel like asking him question after question. He knows this place better than me. I'm afraid if I annoy him, he's just gonna ditch me. It's not like he'll care. He has connections here; but I don't. He's basically my survival here.

"Shoot Curtis," he said.

"Why New York? I mean, why did you want to go here?" I looked at him, but he didn't give me a stupid look. He just smiled and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"This place- I just love it here. That and I've met some good pals here. I've pretty much grown up here, besides in Tulsa too. I just, you know..belong here."

I nodded, but didn't say anything about it.

"Where are we going?"

"I know a few people in these apartments. Give us some place to stay and make plans. Sound okay?" He looked at me for approval.

Of course I agreed. "Yeah." But I didn't know what lies ahead of me. I don't know what danger he's putting us in.

But it's a risk I'm going to take. I was suddenly craving a cigarette. I pulled one out of my pocket and started searching for my lighter. When I couldn't find it, I started to panic.

I left it in the car.

I looked at Curly. "Hey Curly, got a light?"

"Yeah-" he reached in his pocket and threw me one.

"Thanks." I lit up the stick and put it in my mouth. I blew smoke in the air and watched it. I suddenly thought of home.

I thought of the times in the summer when Johnny and I would be outside. We would have a smoke and talk about stuff that we only really understood. We laughed and talked for hours. If only I-

"Pony?" Curly said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Are you crying?" he said, a smirk on his face.

"What?" I touched my eye and felt water. "Nah, it must be, uh- rainin' or somethin'." It was a lie, and a very stupid one.

But I can't lose it now.

I can't ever.

XxX

It was getting dark, and I was tired. I needed to find Darry.

On the way to the house, I ran into Darry. I was surprised; I thought he would be home waiting for me. He didn't look like his normal self, which I wasn't surprised about it. No one has been the same. Everyones changed. It's like one of Pony's nightmares. They get to him, and he acts different. It's the same thing; everyone's different because of this nightmare. But this isn't any ordinary nightmare. This is a living one, and we can't wake up from it.

"Dar, Dar! Wait up!" I yelled, and started jogging towards him. I caught up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "So, what happened? Did ya talk to Two-bit?"

He didn't answer, and just kept walking. I stood there a little shocked, but caught up with him again.

"Dar, you gonna-"

He stopped.

"This is all my damn fault."

xXx

Can't you see that you're smothering me,
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you.

yay! cliffhanger! Now, review please if you still love me! Just , your reviews make my world ten times better!