Kate grabbed Castle's arm as he passed by her to leave her presence, making him stop right in his tracks.
"Rick…" She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. "Wait."
Castle was taken back by Beckett's movements, catching him completely off guard. He still wasn't going to let her off easy though.
"Why Kate?" His eyes dancing from each sides of her eyes, drunken heat burning into her eyes from his.
"Why should I wait? so you can kick me out instead?" He tugged his arm out from her hold.
"No thank you, not tonight." He said with a sarcastic twist to his tone, making his way to her front door.
Beckett glared at him 'Oh what a jack ass!' She thought to herself, ignoring the fact that he was most likely right about what he had just said.
"You know what Castle, that was a really low blow!"
She yelled at him before he could open the door. He turned around, his head tilted to the side, anger and confusion washing over his expression.
"Why! because you know it's true?"
He shot at her, knowing it would make something snap in her brain. This is what he needed though, he needed to see if she would have something in her to make him stay.
She rolled her eyes at him anger and hurt spilling out over her face, mostly hurt.
"You know what Castle! Leave, see if I care!" She said crossing her arms like a child throwing a temper tantrum, leaning all her weight to one side of her body.
"I know you don't care whether I go or stay, so might as well."
Castle started to open the door wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. Before he knew it, Kate's hand had slammed the door shut before he could open it any further. He looked at her hand on the door and led his drunken gaze ponder across her arm until he finally reached her face. It wasn't until he spotted her eyes though, that he felt the guilt crash over him.
Kate could feel her eyes start to cover with a shield of water as she slammed the door trapping Castle; so they could finish this much needed conversation; more like argument, but either or, they needed it.
"Richard Castle, How dare you think for ONE minute that I don't care!"
she tried shouting at him, failing miserably, sounding more like a 13 year old boy going through puberty because of the tears she was fighting from falling out her eyes, losing the battle anyway. Though she felt the warm salty tears start to trickle down her cheeks, she still managed to try and place her hands on his face.
Rick shuttered away from her touch though, pulling her hands away from his face holding them to keep away.
"Kate…" He shut his eyes, holding back his own set of water works.
"How…how am I suppose to believe you? What are you giving me that tells me you care that I leave?" He opened his eyes to search in her eyes for the truth.
At this point Castle just wanted to get home, lay his head down on his pillow and pass out; didn't want Kate to break his heart anymore than she already has, but it didn't look like that was going to be happening.
Kate looked as if in a loss for words. She was to a certain extent but she did have three meaningful words in her mind that would change everything in their relationship.
Since she was stupid enough to get them into this situation in the first place by bringing him up to her apartment highly intoxicated, she thought to herself 'eh, what the hell', as if this wasn't going to revision everything they have grown to know between them.
"Because Rick…. for crying out loud…." She ran her hand through her wavy brunet locks, giving herself the time to get the strength to say what was to change everything.
"I'm in love with you!" She finally got out, tears still streaming down her face.
"and I know this is going to make you leave anyway but…. I know you love me to…" She whipped the now puffy bags underneath her wet eyes.
"Rick…I remember everything… from Montgomery's funeral…" She took a deep breath as if her last.
"I remember the gun shot.. I remember you tackling me and… and I remember you telling me you loved me…" She couldn't face him after revealing everything she just had. Kate stood there looking down at her hands, not even really able to make out what they were because of the amount of tears covering her vision.
Rick stood there, solid as a rock. Tears about to topple over the edges of the rims of his doleful eyes. He kicked himself though to say something, anything.
"Why….Why would you keep something like that from me?" his damp cheeks not drying, because the river of aqua that was rushing down his face.
Kate's heart was splitting in half witnessing the man she loves blubbering like a baby, knowing she was the cause of it all. The only thing she wanted to do at that moment was comfort him, squeeze him to her and bring him to her bedroom to cuddle with him until they pass out in each others arms. But that wasn't going to happen not now, not ever…
That is, unless she fixes this and makes him understand what her intensions were. Make him understand that everyday she was away from him those three months during that dreadful summer, was one of the hardest things she's ever had to do. Make him know that she loved him and that he meant the world to her.
How was she suppose to do that though, when he is breaking down right in front of her, while in the process she can hardly even keep herself together as it is.
'This is going to be a long night' She thought to herself before she began explaining her heart out to him…
Why the hell am I up right now? Oh yeah, because I felt bad that I haven't written lol. So yeah I hope this chapter is alright, considering the fact that I'm about to pass out. NIGHT peeps, I'll write more soon!