Chapter 8

"How could I love him?" Magnus thought in one second, and in the next, "how could I not?" Woolsey was down on his knees, holding a ring, and saying a word. Forever. How could Magnus not love a man who wanted to give him everything?

"I love you so much," Woolsey said. "You don't seem to believe me, so here, I'll show you. I'll give you a ring. I'll tell you forever. Until I'm old and gray, or until I'm taken from you to soon. I'll promise you my forever."

Magnus shook his head slowly, never taking his eyes off the ring. He knew if he looked away from the white stone for just a second, it would be to look into Woolsey's eyes, and he couldn't do that, because if he looked into Woolsey's tear filled eyes, he would see him as broken, the way Woolsey wanted to be seen. If Magnus saw Woolsey that way, he would say "yes" with his next breath.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been since you came back to me," Woolsey said. "It's the pack, Magnus. With de Quincey gone and my brother's death avenged, there are members of the pack who believe that my leadership is no longer necessary, and would, in fact, like to see me out of power."

"Out of power?" Magnus asked. He knew there were only two ways for a werewolf to give up the position of pack leader: by stepping down, or, by fighting anyone who challenged him, to the death.

"Yes. There are member of my pack who want to see someone else as leader. It's been going on for a few weeks now. Every meeting I go to…" Woolsey sobbed and shook his head. "They could kill me, Magnus. I've been scared. So very scared!" This brought on another messy batch of tears. "I'm sorry, Magnus! I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to be jealous of Will. I just really feel like the world is against me and I just really wanted someone in my corner. I have no one."

Magnus searched his heart for some ounce of pity he would allow himself to feel for Woolsey. There was none. Every time Magnus tried to feel sorry for him, he went back to the symphony and saw Woolsey's eyes, dark and angry, his hand raised in a fist. He felt the stinging pain in his cheek and felt the humiliation of a being a man slapped like a misbehaving child. Never before had Magnus allowed someone to raise their fist to him. Never again would he put himself in the position for it to happen again.

He wanted to believe Woolsey when the werewolf said he was concerned about problems in the pack, but he couldn't ignore his gut feeling that Woolsey was lying, or, only bringing this up to force Magnus to feel sorry for him. This was why a relationship with Woolsey never worked, because Woolsey would give Magnus every reason to leave but always gave a better reason for Magnus to stay. It was the same as it was with Camille, in that Magnus couldn't live without Woolsey, but living with him was a dizzying cycle of fighting and forgiveness. This wasn't the first time Woolsey had been on his knees for Magnus. However, the ring, the forever… this was new.

"You hurt me. There is no excuse for what you did. You hurt me," Magnus said. "Who is to say you won't do it again?"

"I will. I will never hurt you, ever again I never could. If anyone from Praetor Lupus knew that I slipped, that I hurt you, they would kill me." Woolsey climbed to his feet and touched Magnus gently on the cheek before he took him in his arms. Magnus closed his eyes and rested his head against Woolsey's shoulder. "I promise you, Magnus, I will never hurt you, ever again."

"So you'll leave the pack, then," Magnus said.

"I will leave the pack and you and I will leave here and we will go to Rome. Or France," Woolsey said. "I will go anywhere, as long as you are with me." There was a catch, there always was, with Woolsey. He would take Magnus anywhere, provided that Magnus left his life, and Will, behind in London. When they set up house, Woolsey would behave for a few days before he started bringing home boys and using his drugs. They would drift apart, Woolsey and Magnus. Woolsey would be happy, and Magnus would be alone, without the Shadowhunter he craved without a logical explanation.

Magnus felt drawn to Will like a moth to flame, the way an addict craves the drug that will eventually be their undoing. Will would never give Magnus what he wanted, forever. Woolsey would never give Magnus forever on terms they could both agree on.

"I love you so much," Woolsey whispered. "Please, Magnus, will you be with me, forever?" He gently rubbed Magnus's chest and kissed his lips, doing his best to convince Magnus that this time, he really did love him.

Magnus ached to believe that Woolsey's love was genuine. It had been far too long since he heard someone say "love" and mean it. Woolsey was only saying this because he knew that, and because it was better to lie about his feelings then to be alone. Magnus hated the pain he got in his stomach every time he thought about facing a future with no one at his side. It was desperation that made him lift his hand and place it over Woolsey's beating heart as he finally dared to look into Woolsey's eyes.

Later on, when they were naked and sweating in front of the fireplace, Woolsey thrust into Magnus from behind, back to forcing his submission. He bit Magnus on the shoulders and swore he loved him, that this was it, this time they would be together forever. They were going to Rome, or France, or somewhere. Together. Magnus looked down at the gold ring on his right ring finger and realized he had never told Woolsey yes or no.

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews, please feel free to give more. The next chapter will focus more on Will/Tessa/Jem, and reviews will provoke me to update faster. If you have read any of the other ID fics I have put together, you'll know what I mean when I say "alcove scene." If this is the first fic of mine you have ever checked out, you'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Also, it should go without saying, I OWN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS. Now review. Please. Here. A teaser:

"I thought you were happy," Will said. Jem turned to him, brushing some hair off his forehead, peering into Will's eyes.