Unliving

Chapter five – Dining with Sesshoumaru

Kagome slowly advanced towards Sesshoumaru. He was staring at her in his usual composed manner, and stood up when she got closer to the table. He had a glass with very red wine in front of him, but other than that, the table was set for one person: herself.

She found that to be a little weird, but tried to ignore it. He wore a black coat that reached just above his knees, and a dark blue shirt with black pants. His white hair was caught behind his back in a lose manner, because there were strands hanging over his shoulders and face. He gave a nod towards her and helped her to her seat.

Kagome had never been treated with such care before. Well, she occasionally received a door-opening, and maybe a hand-kiss, but his entire stance seemed to be considerate towards her. It felt nice, to be the pampered one, for a change. She thought it was obvious he'd been educated in different times.

She noticed that her own glass was empty, but just then Ethan materialized at her side, almost startling Kagome. He opened a bottle of wine and poured some into her glass. The liquid was almost black, and thicker than your usual one. She'd never seen such a wine. She immediately figured that it must be very old, because black wine was so rare these days.

Ethan disappeared just as discretely as he had appeared, and Kagome noticed that there rarely seemed to be an occasion in which Sesshoumaru to order something to this man. He simply knew what his master wanted. 'Maybe he's worked here for a long time.' She figured.

The freshly opened bottle rested on the table, at little distance from her. It wasn't proper to shove the bottle in front of the person who stood at the table.

'Freshly opened bottle…' Kagome pondered. She took a glimpse at Sesshoumaru's almost full glass. Truth be told, his wine was red. Very red. She dismissed the thought.

"May I compliment you for your appearance, Miss Higurashi? You look very beautiful this evening." Kagome went crimson, and thanked God for the dim light of the chandelier above them. She never did know how to take a compliment. But he was youkai, and she immediately realized he'd seen her blush. Sesshoumaru gave out a small smile of content.

"Thank you." She said, barely hearing her own words. She was seated just at his side, and she was sure he'd heard her, though.

"I was merely trying to make you more comfortable, Kagome. I see you are tensed." His deep voice cut through the air, and she found herself forced to stare back at him. His look was telling her that that hadn't been his intention at all. That shadowy smile stated loud and clear that he was taking pleasure in toying with her.

'I'll be damned if I'll let him mock me like this!' she decided, and forced a smile upon her face.

"Not at all… I am merely a little cold." She said, noticing that there was no fire burning tonight.

He tilted his head a little, and took a long, silent gaze into her eyes. She felt analyzed. Kagome broke eye contact, and reached for the wine, clinging to the delicate glass as if it were a life saver.

She took a sip, aware that his eyes were watching her move. She was feeling a bit uncomfortable at the thought that his gaze would settle on her lips, because it was only natural to do so. Everybody did it, when they saw someone eat or drink. They would look at the lips.

The thick liquid invaded her mouth, and its sweet-soury taste surprised her a little. It was certainly different from everything she'd been drinking in her entire life. It was almost like a potion. If someone had offered her this drink without her seeing the bottle, there were high chances she would have had no idea it was indeed wine.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru stood up and headed for the fireplace. He reached above it and pushed a small bump on the wall, holding a lighter in the fireplace. The fire sprung up, and soon enough flames were dancing inside it. Kagome raised her eyebrows. He straightened his back, and nodded to the fireplace, while walking back.

"This one is gas-lit. It is unpleasant to smell whatever's sustaining the fire while eating dinner, I think."

'He thinks?' Kagome asked herself, finding his choice of words a little off. Like he wouldn't eat here, but he thought that it wasn't comfortable for whoever did. Right then, she realized he was pure blooded youkai. Of course he wouldn't eat here! They didn't eat as often as humans, and when they did, they only had raw meat, in huge quantities.

"It can be." She answered, a little more at ease now. She was still wondering what was about that glass of wine he had in front of him that pulled at her attention so much.

"Earlier today, you wanted to know about my child." She was surprised to say the least. Sesshoumaru didn't seem like the type to just spill information about his personal life, like that. She remembered his wave of sadness.

"I don't want to pry, Sesshoumaru-sama. We'd best talk about our business." But he didn't seem interested in that. He narrowed his eyes.

"Why did you ask, then?"

"I was only curious if someone like you… who's lived for so long… ever had… children. It seems unlikely that you haven't any."

"But I did." He put his elbows on the table, which gave him an uncharacteristic appearance. He seemed more relaxed. It was nice… for a change.

Kagome just listened. It looked like he didn't mind her asking.

"Her name was Rin. She was a human." Kagome widened her eyes in surprise.

"Human?"

"Yes, human. Well she was obviously not my biological child, but I have seen her as such since I… found her." He'd almost said revived her, but he wasn't entirely certain how she would take it.

"You've adopted her?" Kagome was truly impressed. The taiyoukai had a heart! What a huge discovery! And he'd cared for a little human girl. Her image of Sesshoumaru suffered a drastic change.

"There was no need for that, in those times. She simply became mine."

Kagome wondered what times were those.

"It was a long time ago…"

"Before the youkai wars?" Sesshoumaru eyed her, looking almost impressed. He narrowed his eyes. This woman was truly something else. She'd done her homework.

Kagome caught his look, and shrugged her shoulders.

"Chichiue's a hanyou. He's told me stuff. I mean… things." She bit her bottom lip for a second. Now, that was certainly not an appropriate language! Stuff… What was she thinking?

Sesshoumaru stood up.

"Come. I want to show you something." Kagome didn't ask anything, and followed him out the doors. They took a right turn, and walked in silence for a minute or so, until he pushed open two large, metallic doors. The harsh sound broke that heavy silence that was constantly flooding the castle.

This time, Kagome stood in the doorframe.

He entered first, and held the door open.

"Come in." She took a look about the room, her eyes resting on the sundry… objects there. It looked strange, all those old and new objects carefully placed all over the area.

She stepped in a little insecure, and he closed the door.

"It's the weaponry room." He tried to settle her emotions. He could practically hear her heartbeat, and her fast breath.

"Oh…" was all Kagome could word out, looking at the vast room, the armors from different ages in time, the weapons, all from different times and places. Many could still be used, she noticed. They were very well preserved, and some were pretty new, like the guns and fire weapons in general. He walked in front of her, and Kagome followed, carefully eyeing a bow and some arrows. She passed a dark Japanese armor, with sharp spikes on one shoulder, and a beautiful yellow ribbon with blue patterns, tied at the waist.

Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder and smiled, but said nothing. She passed by a huge boomerang and some sort of armor, seemingly designed for a woman. 'It must have taken a very strong woman to handle that boomerang!' Kagome thought. She was still pondering over that thought, and nearly stumbled across Sesshoumaru, who had stopped in front of a wall.

He turned to let her see them. Two marvelous Japanese swords were pinned to the wall. She figured they were ancient. She just stared at the beautiful handwork, as she came closer. Sesshoumaru was simply delighted to see the look on her face. Her wide open eyes, her parted lips, the way she was breathing… She was glowing. She reached for one of them.

"Be careful." He said, and just then, she felt a sting in her arm. The sword had released a dark blue wave of… what was that? She turned a startled gaze to him, and he raised an eyebrow. Kagome frowned and reached for the sword again. This time she could clearly see the sword releasing some kind of… shield, but it was like it was trying to grab her and hurt her, not to keep her at a distance, like any normal shield would.

"Where… did you get…" she took another look at him, and the sword stung her again, this time more powerful. She pulled her hand back quickly, staring at the weapon.

"Tzt!" he said, and took the sword from the wall. With a practiced move, he stepped back from Kagome and unsheathed it.

She was staring at him. He seemed to fit in that environment. The sword in his hands, the concentrated look upon his face… It fit him. She saw the blade releasing that dark blue aura again, but just for a moment, as it quickly withdrew under Sesshoumaru's touch. He swung it a few times, just for practice, and she was amazed at how good he was with it. She smiled widely, looking at this magnificent demon. The word demon fit him better now, with this strange ancient weapon in his hand.

Sesshoumaru saw her fascination, and was highly thrilled with it, but only let out a rogue smile that made Kagome shiver. But not with fear. It was like the shiver from the first kiss. It was blissful. Sesshoumaru looked positively surreal swinging that sword. She was hooked by his imposing figure.

"Meet Tokijin." He pointed the sword at her, and Kagome thought it was the first time a pure blooded youkai did that. Point a sword at her. She nodded.

"Good to meet you, Tokijin." She looked at him, following the blade's length to his steady gaze. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow, and then sheathed his sword.

He placed it back and looked at Kagome. She was staring at the other sword. It seemed even older than the other one.

"Will this one try to hurt me too?" she looked at Sesshoumaru, moving her hand towards the sword.

"No." His word was so steady, and she was sure it was the truth. She carefully took the weapon from its place on the wall.

Her father had a few swords himself, but none this old. However, she knew how to handle them, because Kazuki had taught her a thing or two about sword fighting, due to her interest in them. She didn't know that much though.

She unsheathed it, and looked down the blade. It was old, but well kept, and Kagome thought she felt a tug at her senses when she held it. She raised her look to Sesshoumaru, who was eyeing her attentively.

"Uhm…" she began, but thought it would seem stupid to tell him what she felt.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and looked at her as if she were a little green alien.

"You can feel it?" his words were carefully balanced, but he was now truly impressed.

"I can feel something!" she said, not without emotion in her voice.

He couldn't believe it. There were centuries since any youkai had felt Tenseiga's call. Even he couldn't feel it anymore. He cursed his tainted blood, and resumed staring at the woman. She was slightly bent by her back and attentively studying the sword. She cringed, and shot her head up at him.

"Did you feel that?" Kagome hurriedly whispered, startled. Sesshoumaru could simply not believe his eyes and ears. Her youkai blood was supposed to be so diluted, that she couldn't possibly feel anything from Tenseiga.

"Meet Tenseiga." He said, in a simple manner. Kagome raised the shiny blade in front of her eyes, swinging it as well as she could. She hadn't touched a sword for years.

"I see you're not untrained." Sesshoumaru stated. Kagome blushed.

"Chichiue taught me." She said, looking at the marvelous weapon in her hand. She felt connected with it. It was like the blade was calling to her, asking her to do something…

She took a mindful look at it, and felt its pulse.

'Pulse!' Kagome was still, and focused.

Save him…

She widened her eyes. She was clearly hearing things. But she hadn't exactly heard those words. They were more likely placed inside her mind. She felt them.

Save him…

'Save who?' she frantically asked herself, and Tenseiga pulsed again, stronger even, this time actually moving her arm up, and pointing towards Sesshoumaru.

Her look followed the length of the blade, and Kagome felt a shiver pass through her body. She froze, not knowing if this was the answer to her unspoken question. Her eyes were stuck on his. Sesshoumaru had an unreadable expression. He might have been shocked, he might have been hopeful, she really couldn't tell.

"This sword…" Kagome's voice broke into a helpless sigh.

"Yes?" his voice was calm. But he wasn't.

"It… calls… to me." She thought she'd said the stupidest thing ever. But Sesshoumaru nodded.

"It would seem so." He walked forward, and took the sword from her hand. Kagome almost fell when she briefly touched her fingers. He was as cold as ice. She noticed he was ever paler now.

He put it back on the wall, and decided not to tell her about Tenseiga's power, now that she'd felt some of it. If she were to find that it brought back the dead, he would have some explaining to do as for why it was pulsing in his presence. And it really wasn't the time, yet.

"That's fantastic… Two swords… One so peaceful, and the other so… dark." She'd meant to say evil, but figured it would upset him.

"I've had them for a very long time. Come on, let's get back. You haven't eaten your dinner yet." He waited for her to rip her eyes off Tenseiga, and walked behind her. He took a fleeting look over his shoulder, at the sword of Haven.

'What are you doing, Tenseiga? Why her?' Sesshoumaru felt how his plans came crushing down around him. Kagome was as far from his hopes as she could be. He'd brought her here for something entirely different. He wanted to offer her something, but instead it seemed like she was the one who could offer him a great deal more.

The taiyoukai wasn't about to leap head forward. Kagome hadn't been able to feel much more that a vague pulse from Tenseiga. Maybe it was just reminiscence. But it wasn't like that sword to act out randomly. It had a purpose, and he had to find out what that purpose was, before he would make a huge mistake.

They headed back to the dining room in silence. As soon as she sat back down, Kagome stared at the taiyoukai.

"Thank you." He looked a bit distraught.

"For showing me your swords. They're marvelous."

He nodded, and the next few minutes were occupied with Ethan's fussing around to serve dinner.

After half an hour, he still hadn't finished that glass of wine, although Kagome had ate dinner, and was at her second drink. She was getting a bit dizzy. Maybe she shouldn't drink this one. The thing was strong, and she had low tolerance to alcohol as it was. Sesshoumaru kept stirring the wine in his glass, and she was watching his movement.

"What happened to Rin?" she asked.

"What do you think happened to her?" Kagome was about to kick herself. Of course she'd died! She was human, and lived so long ago…

'I'm the biggest idiot that's ever shaded this Earth!' she closed her eyes for a second, and looked at him.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what I was thinking…"

"It's alright; it was a long time ago. You know, humans are so quick to give their hearts away, so fast in their actions, so hasty…" The look on his face was one of deep thought. She'd never seen him like that.

Kagome couldn't think of anything to say, so she just listened. It seemed like he was the one who wanted to say something, this evening.

"Rin was just like that. I found her broken, abused and lonely. But she smiled at me. With all her sorrow, she smiled at me. I could not understand that, then. I must confess I do not fully understand it now." He shook his head a little, staring into the glass.

"She gave her heart away so easily. To her, I was Sesshoumaru-sama, her Lord, her protector. She needed me, and as time passed I found that I needed her. It was that simple." Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome, and for a fleeting moment, she saw love in his cold eyes. But it passed just as quickly as it came, and he gained back his usual composure.

"She was a different kind of human. I've never seen one so selfless, and I do believe I shall never see one again. She changed me. But she is gone now and I only have her memory left to me, but no regrets of her presence in my life. That was Rin. That is Rin."

Kagome felt her eyes sting. He'd really loved that child. She felt sorry she didn't have the chance to meet her. The human who could melt this demon's heart was certainly worth meeting.

She just stood there, in front of her half empty glass of wine. The second one. She was definitely dizzy. She'd had more to drink than it was appropriate. But she could still see right, and that was a good sign.

"I'm afraid I've bored you, Kagome." Sesshoumaru said, his low voice forcing her eyes up.

"Oh, not at all. I was just thinking that I would have loved to meet Rin. She seems… out of the ordinary." It was the truth, she really thought that, and Sesshoumaru could see it in her eyes, he could read it in her soft voice. The look of her was beginning to distract him. He looked at her neck, at the smooth line that defined her throat, and down to her collarbone.

'What's wrong with me?' He was betraying his own plans. His mind was more and more caught by her, and her wild scent. She smelled like the field flowers. How he missed the sight of field flowers bathed in sunlight! How he missed staring up at the blue sky, at the white clouds, and hearing the birds sing! All of those things he ached for… were forever sealed shut to him, now.

His eyes were blurry, as he stood up and mumbled an excuse to leave for a few moments. Kagome nodded, but didn't have the chance to say anything, because he simply stormed out of the room. She remained there, wondering if she'd done something wrong.

She thought she caught a glimpse of his fangs rubbing against each other as he passed by her. They were certainly longer than usual, and that could mean only one thing: he'd been angry about something. But Kagome never thought that Sesshoumaru could be angry with himself.

After sitting there in silence for what she thought were ten minutes, she stood up and slowly advanced towards his seat. The chair was cast aside carelessly, which really didn't fit his profile and the glass of wine almost untouched on the table. She stared at it for a moment. It just seemed too red. She swallowed and took a fleeting look to the doors.

Kagome couldn't believe what she was thinking.

'It couldn't possibly be… blood. He wouldn't… I mean, why would he drink blood?' she was fighting with her own instinct, which was screaming that yes, it was blood!

With a second rapid look to the doors, she lifted the glass and took it to her nose. It smelled good enough. It could have been wine. It certainly didn't smell like blood. But her curiosity got the best of her, and she put the glass against her lips, barely touching it. She slipped some fluid into her mouth and almost choked.

"Do you like that one better?" his voice spread across the room, and Kagome nearly dropped the glass. She placed it on the table carefully. It was wine. Very good, old wine. She felt like an idiot. How could she think something like that?

"I'm… sorry." She mumbled. He seemed more at ease now. She wondered where he'd gone to. Sesshoumaru waited for her to take her seat and sat down himself.

"Would you like mine?" he offered, and Kagome blushed a bright shade of red. She could simply die.

She wished it wouldn't cross his mind that she actually thought him a vampire, because that would have been just too much to handle. Her image was severely bruised as it was.

"No, thank you, I think I've had too much to drink already." She just wanted to sink into that chair and disappear. However, Sesshoumaru didn't seem to mind her attempt. In fact, he was looking fairly amused. He took a sip from his glass, and laid back with a satisfied look on his face.

Trying not to laugh, Sesshoumaru proceeded into telling her about his company. He started with the basics, how it was founded, how he set out with the idea and who were his first clients. Then, he went deeper into the company's history, as deep as he was allowed to go with her. It wasn't a really good idea to just give bout certain information to the open public.

She took mental notes, although it became tiresome after a while. She found herself forced to postpone the rest of their conversation until the next evening. He seemed to agree without any sign of annoyance and offered to take her to her room. Kagome politely accepted, and within a few minutes she was at her door.

The castle was as quiet as ever, and the same went for Sesshoumaru. She figured he'd already spoken his share for the next few days. That made her lose a smile, and she immediately realized she was a little drunk. Just a little though, enough not to be able to handle her emotions properly.

Kagome desperately wanted to put some distance between herself and this… man. Well, she was aware he was a demon, but when she looked at his face, those gorgeous eyes, and that body… 'Oh, dear God, I'm so drunk!'

"Good night, Kagome." His husky voice floated around her for a second. She resisted the impulse to smile like an idiot.

"Good night, Sesshoumaru-sama." She gave a somewhat insecure bow, and slipped inside the room. The last thing she saw was his profile, as he turned to leave. She closed the door and leaned against it, gliding down. She embraced her legs, and let her forehead fall on her knees.

"I am so done for!" she moaned. She could hear the flames cracking and twisting in the fireplace, and lifted her head to see the shadows spreading in the room. Her eyes fell on the bed.

'Oh, I wanna sleeeep!' she thought, and got undressed. She searched for a large T-shirt to wear, and slipped under the covers, not bothering to take a shower anymore. She already had two for the day, and she wasn't a pig for God sake!

"Aaaww, kimochii!"

Ever since she got here, she'd lost her luggage; she'd been almost eaten by a wolf, scared by a ghost, attacked by a sword, spoken to by another one, and let us not forget about the werewolves! This was too much! She wondered if her nerves were strong enough for this place. Oh, and there was Sesshoumaru himself! He was really an enigma. Suddenly, her investigation instincts seemed not to function so well. She just wanted to sleep.

Her eyelids fell heavy against each other, and Kagome was out like a light in a matter of seconds.

:---:

A woman was whispering out a plea. It was a faint voice, but she could clearly make out the words. She said "Take me." Over and over again. Kagome couldn't see anything because of the mist, and she was choking because of it. It was so thick… Suddenly she realized it wasn't just mist. It was smoke. She kept walking forward, but didn't seem to make any progress.

Take me, please, I'll die without you!

A firm hand grabbed her shoulders and she felt claws pierce her flesh. She screamed.

:---:

Kagome looked up at the ceiling. She was sweaty, cold and shivering. The room was silent and only lit by the dim fire. The woman's voice still traveled back and forth through her mind.

"Kikyo…" she whispered, and the wind blew the curtains about the window frame. She climbed down from her bed and looked outside. It was about dawn, and she could see the sky turning orange. Stripes of purple glow streamed through the fiery color of the first light, and the hills were beginning to take life. The sunrise could be perfectly seen from there, and she leaned her head against the frame, taking in a deep breath of fresh air.

Autumn was clearly in the atmosphere… She frowned and thought about Kikyo. Her voice was clearly imprinted in Kagome's memory.

"Who were you, Kikyo?"

:---: