Unliving

Chapter ten - Colliding

Her laptop sat open in the middle of her bed, as Kagome stared out the window. Another rainy day in the UK, and she felt as cloudy as the weather outside. The cursor pulsed in the middle of an unfinished second word on her almost blank document, and she didn't care to continue her attempt in getting some work done. What would she write, anyway? That she's found out why Sesshoumaru wouldn't allow visitation to Muncaster? That ghosts exist and she was constantly in contact with one? She smiled.

'As if…' she thought, sadly, and closed the laptop with a muffed click. She got off the bed and walked to the window. The fire was burning quietly in the fireplace, and she vaguely thought that Emma had lit it early today, since it wasn't yet 5 pm. It was cold, however, due to the foggy weather and the rain. It wasn't stormy, but a thick, settled rain that went on for almost two hours now and Kagome felt the humid air begin to make its way to her nerves.

The unmistakable sound of the droplets falling onto the pavement just below her window was constant and unsettling, like the ticking of an annoying clock in the middle of the night, giving you insomnia. She wore a pair o raggedy jeans and a large sweater which completely covered her upper body, not leaving any of her curves to be seen. She felt far more comfortable with that kind of clothes than with those flashy gowns…

It was already getting dark, and Kagome's eyes strayed about the horizon, as she was wondering when will he wake up, and how will he feel. She frowned, putting her arms around her waist, and leaning against the window frame.

Why did she care so much about how he was gonna feel, anyway? He'd known him for a few days, it she were to think about it. Again, she frowned and shook her head.

The tips of her fingers touched the spot where the bite marks were supposed to be, but found nothing but smooth skin there. She wondered how he'd done that, heal her wounds so fast.

'Who the hell knows?' she thought, and turned to eye the room. It was too quiet, she wasn't in the mood for company, although she was sure Emma wouldn't have refused to stay a while and talk to her. But she didn't want Emma. She wanted him. She was drawn to him like the moth to a flame… That was what annoyed her the most. No matter how hideous was what he'd done to her, what she'd done to herself, for his sake, she was still drawn to him.

"Damn it!" she cursed, as she closed the door behind her, heading for his bedroom, to see how he was. And she repeated the same words all the way there, sometimes out loud even, not caring if anyone would hear her.

She stopped in the dark hallway outside his door, listening with all her being, not knowing why she'd stopped. Her heard was beating fast and she tried to settle her pulse, knowing that she stood no chance of looking unsettled before his eyes, if she really wasn't.

Slowly, she pushed the door open, and entered the dark room. The candle had been worn out, and no light could be seen in the chamber. Her eyes fought to make out something, the outline of the furniture and hopefully his gold, avert eyes.

But she could barely see the bed. She walked towards the table where she knew candles still stood, and felt her way to a matchbox. She lit a candle and placed it on the iron support, turning to the bed. Sesshoumaru was still sleeping… or whatever his state was called. His face was still, but not the same stillness as when he was awake. He was at peace, relaxed and serene. She stared at his soft features, and thought that the word handsome couldn't possibly describe him. He was beautiful.

His entire body held the kind of beauty that human think they can only find in the afterlife, the kind of beauty that has nothing human anymore, but only spiritual, something beyond mere physical appearance, an aura that draws you to that surreal being.

She closed in on his still form, and let her eyes wonder about his body. He wore an unbuttoned electric blue shirt and the same pants as the other day. His hair was spread on the crimson sheets like it would have been ravaged by wild beasts. One of his arms rested on his lower stomach and the other beside his body. His head was lightly turned to one side, and his lips parted just a little. She trailed her gaze down his neck, over his chest and wasn't surprised at the lack of breath anymore. His scars had dimmed a little. She bent to take a better look, slowly parting his shirt.

Half of his chest rested exposed in front of her violet eyes and she looked at the violent scar on his skin, passing her fingers over the soft texture. He was cold, so cold… She looked at his eyes, and thought that he was burning on the inside, not on the outside like the rest of the silly beings on this earth.

Sesshoumaru was awake, he'd been awake ever since she opened the door and entered the room, but he didn't care to move or let her know he wasn't sleeping anymore. He found her careful movement around the room much to interesting to cut them so abruptly by averting his eyes. So he laid still, as he knew she had no means to tell if he was indeed awake.

He fought not to shiver at her soft touch of concern, but his skin took the contact rather unexpectedly. He realized he liked her fingers running over his chest. Usually, he wouldn't accept physical contact other than the absolutely necessary one. Few humans had ever touched him, even before he became kindred, and almost none drove these feelings through him.

Truth be told, none. Rin had woken completely different feelings inside him, although he enjoyed her touch also. She was a sweet innocent child with whom he had hopelessly fallen in love. In time, he saw her as his own child, deliberately ignoring any written or unwritten rule of the taiyoukai clan.

She slowly leaned her head to his chest and listened to the silence inside him, as she rested her fingers on his cold pale skin. Sesshoumaru felt the tingling of her hair falling over her shoulder, and a faint smile lit his unmoving features. Kagome didn't see it, though, but stood bent over his chest, fascinated with the stillness of his body.

Her warm breath caressed him, and he decided to do something totally uncharacteristic. He focused and without even breathing, he forced his heart to start beating. Kagome flinched and tried to back away, but he caught the back of her neck, holding her in place. She took a fast breath and widened her eyes, listening to the slow pace of his heart. Her chest was pressed against his almost bare stomach, and her right hand rested on his shoulder.

Kagome could feel his body warm up and gradually gain human temperature. His muscles detensed, and his entire form became softer, lacking the stiffness on a dead body. Soon enough, his skin was warm and his breath reached the top of her head, making her wish she could witness his shift in appearance as he drew in air. She didn't ask herself why he was doing it, she just enjoyed the feeling of his body warming up against hers.

He loosened his grip, and she lifted her head to look at his face. Sesshoumaru was unmistakably staring down at her. His eyes were clear and with no sign of that watery shade they usually held.

"I see you're better." She said, her voice a little husky. She cleared her throat, and took a seat beside him, as he stood up on his elbows.

"I am." His tone of voice was strange, she thought. And the look on his face too, the way he eyed her, almost like… Strange. It reminded her of Inuyasha. Come to think of it, there were an awful lot of similarities between them, mostly in the way they looked. The white hair and the gold eyes… But that look… She didn't want to think about it further, because she had a feeling it wouldn't bring anything good.

"Still feeling used?" he asked, and she frowned, almost jumping off her seat. She didn't like his tone. Boy, did he have a way to spoil the moment!

"What?" her voice was sharp and he felt her annoyance. However, he didn't care much; he actually liked her all fiery like that, and found it quite amusing to stir her nerves.

'What the hell?' he thought, as he tilted his head to one side. He was a cold hearted bastard, after all, wasn't he? A label he could never shake off, no matter how long he'd lived. He would give her what she wanted, what she thought he was, deep inside. Who's to tell? Maybe she was right.

"Is it not why you cried? You felt used, Kagome." His deep voice began to drill holes into her patience. She clenched her fists, and moved on her seat.

"Does it matter?" she could barely hold back her frustration. He'd drank her blood, and now he was making her feel like a moron because she'd offered! Insufferable being!

He reached to touch her face, but she backed, and he threw her a shadowy smile.

"What is wrong with you?" she almost cried out, standing up and eyeing him frustrated.

"Why do you always have to make me feel so… inferior? Isn't it enough that I wanna help you without any actual reward? There's nothing in it for me, or haven't you noticed, and I'm really not what you could call selfless!"

Sesshoumaru stood on the edge of his bed, with his elbows on the knees.

"I am what I am, and you knew that from the first day you came here, Kagome. Do not tell me you did not expect me to have some dirty secret. You wanted to find it out!" He stood up and took a step towards her. Kagome grunted at him, pressing her lips together in anger.

"You inquired about me and my life, and you were the one who didn't care to sit still and went about my personal issues!" he pointed an accusing finger to her chest and closed in on a constantly backing Kagome, until she fell against the wall behind her.

Trapped! She thought, as his finger pressed against her breast.

She narrowed her eyes and pushed his hand away, with a swift motion with the back of her palm.

"You should talk, Mr. I-brought-you-here-to-turn-you-into-a-vampire! Who do you think you are, butting into other people's life like that? I mean, I admit that I do the same, but only write stories, not go around drinking people's blood, for God's sake!" she had raised her voice, because she felt like choking with anger. And that stupid, superior smirk on his face was all in all too much for her to handle! She wanted to wipe it off with a fist!

"You do not care about me drinking other people's blood, Kagome! You are just as selfish as I am, only you hide it better. You just resent the fact that I have reduced you to a mere vessel, back then. You reject the fact that you are the same as everyone else. Because Kagome…" he put his hands on the wall on either side of her head, moving closer "… you want to be special."

He narrowed his gold eyes, and Kagome could see her reflection in the glassy surface. She knew his skin had turned back into the cold unliving stance that stated his nature ever so clearly!

"I am special." She whispered, hating the fact that he could intimidate her like that. She just backed against the wall, away from his approaching face. She wasn't sure she wanted him to touch her. She wasn't sure… which meant that at some level she did want him to touch her! That really bugged her.

"Kagome, dear…" he continued, ignoring her backing away and stiff form "… you are more than a vessel." Her breath was fast and her chest rose and fell rapidly against his, as he closed the distance between them and leaned over her body. Her head turned to one side at the sight of his fangs when he grinned at her. She couldn't take the display.

Sesshoumaru bowed his head and made his way down nuzzling the nape of her neck. She breathed unevenly, and clenched her fists to hold back from trembling. All her mental alarms went off as he kissed the soft skin of her neck, but she simply could not move.

"You are a river." He whispered, in that self conscious tone she so much hated. He knew what he was doing to her. He knew her every reaction, her every emotion. He knew that she was fighting against her own body, who screamed for her to abandon herself into the Kiss once again. She didn't care to anymore.

"You are a river." Not a vessel, then. Her jaws trembled from the pressure she was applying, and her hand sprung up by instinct, slapping him over the face, and pushing him away.

"You bastard!" she shouted, her lips curved into the expression of disgust, and her eyes filled with tears of rage. Her fists were closed tightly, and her body quivered. Sesshoumaru smiled awkwardly, and drew a claw over his cheek. It didn't hurt at all, but she'd applied a lot of force into the hit.

She was definitely angry, and just as he'd thought, the sight of her anger only made him want her more. Almost all women had called him a pervert for that particular pleasure he took in seeing them losing their patience. But he couldn't help it, and Kagome's violet eyes throwing daggers at him was priceless.

"I should have known better. I should have let you scorch there, on that field. You don't deserve my…" she stopped abruptly, and his head tilted again, this time with genuine curiosity. He wondered what she'd meant to say. Now, whatever she was going to say, would not be her first thought.

"You don't deserve my pity." She finally worded out, and his eyes seemed to flash red for a second. She frowned, surprised. Sesshoumaru moved faster than she could see and grabbed her by the throat, pinning her back to the wall, this time painfully.

She put her hands over his wrist, and stood on her toes as he forced her body up. She could breathe, but only barely.

"Is that what you feel for me, Kagome? Pity?" his voice was steady but she could read anger behind his words, and she suddenly felt afraid.

Kagome didn't answer, and he pushed his other hand on her chest, trailing his claws down her body, until he reached the edge of her sweater. She whimpered, and tried to unclench his grip, but no use came from it.

He slid his hand under her clothes, and Kagome tensed at the cold touch on her skin.

"Is pity what you feel now?" she opened her mouth but only drew in air, as he was stabbing him with her eyes. She hated him for being able to do this to her. Hated hated hated him!

But she had lied. She didn't pity him. If anything, she admired him for how he'd accepted the horrible fate he'd been forced into. But it was his fault only that he was so damn annoying, and acting superior all the time. That she couldn't forgive, and she would be damned if she would let him patronize her!

"You can go to hell, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she spat, squirming under his grip. He pricked at her skin with his claws, but she only narrowed her eyes a little.

"I am in hell for 700 years, Kagome." He whispered, close to her face. She swallowed at the imminence of the fact.

He pressed his lips against hers, and she shuddered. His violent kiss took over her mouth, as he forced his way into her mouth, pushing her chin up with his thumb. Kagome tried to scream but her try was quickly put to a rest by him deepening the kiss. Her hands were desperately pushing back his chest, but he was like a rock, cold and unmoving.

Tears trailed down her face, as her body went limp and she fought to breathe through her nose, but his grip on her throat made it almost impossible. His tongue moved slowly in her mouth, as if he was completely oblivious to her hostility. She saw he wasn't gonna let go until she complied, and dropped her hands to each side of her body, allowing him to move inside her.

Eventually, she halfheartedly kissed him back. Which half of her heart wanted to kiss him, and why, she really couldn't tell. She didn't touch him, other that that. Her hands rested on the wall even as he fingered her ribs and back.

After a while, he just stopped and let go, which resulted in Kagome dropping to the ground, disgusted.

She threw him a heartless look.

"You really are a bastard." She said, and he snarled at her.

"And you are a poor liar, Kagome." That condescending tone drove rage through her veins. She stood up and wanted to slap him again, but she knew he wouldn't allow her to do it again.

She just stared at him, as he smiled at her all superior and uncaring. She didn't recognize him in how he'd acted just now. But then again, how much did she know about him?

"Be good and pick up a dress for tonight, we will receive guests." He said, as if he could just order her around like a puppet. Her nerves snapped, and she felt her every bit of patience go out the window.

"Like hell I will!" she screamed, pointing a finger at him.

"You cold heated jerk, do you think you can just push me around like that? I helped you once, I had to go against everything I believed it, and this is how you treat me? No. NO, do you hear me? Enough! I won't be your toy, so just forget about it!" her eyes burnt, and her arm was trembling with anger. He was really enjoying her reaction.

'Worthy of her, indeed.' He smiled, and stuck his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight on one foot.

"Now you are being rude. I only asked you to accompany me…" his sentence was cut short by her shouts.

"Accompany! Asked! No, Sesshoumaru, you don't ask, you order! You command! That's all you can do, and I won't have it anymore, do you hear me?" he moved and caught her accusing finger, hand and all.

"You can just sit there then."

"You can just bite me, then!" she snapped, and angrily pulled her hand from his, storming out of the room, leaving Sesshoumaru with an amused look on his face.

"My pleasure…" he said, after she closed the door behind her, and raised an eyebrow, clearing his throat. He sighed and stretched his body. He was still a little sore, but nothing to worry about. He could feed tonight, although he knew no taste could ever be better that Kagome's.

"Ntz…" he went, and licked his bottom lip, smiling with intent. He could just corner her, if he really wanted her blood so much, but that wouldn't have been any fun. She had to want it, she had to submit.

'And so she will, soon enough.' He thought. This woman went about his mind all the time. He just couldn't shake her off. But he had to be careful not to upset her too much, or she might reconsider her helping him. The fact that he was kindred could only be undone by her, as it seemed, and he wasn't gonna throw away the only chance he got, due to his damned incontrollable pleasure of pissing her off! Even if he did get such a kick out of it. He smiled and decided he wanted a shower. The water will help him clear his much too heated thoughts!

:---:

She went outside in the rain, completely forgetting to put on the coat she'd come in with, which laid forgotten on a hanger somewhere at the main entrance.

The cold drops wet her hair, and she raised her face to welcome the cool air outside. She spread her arms to the sides of her body and closed her eyes.

'Damned freak! Why'd he have to piss me off like that? He did it on purpose, I know it!' she wasn't upset anymore, now that she'd yelled at him. She couldn't believe she'd actually said bite me. She burst into a laugh at the stupidity of her own words.

"God…" she whispered, as she realized she was soaking wet. Her clothes were sticking to her body, and she was as cold as hell. She shook her head, and turned to the door. She made her way back to his room, but when she reached the door, she just stood there for an entire ten or fifteen minutes, not knowing if she should enter. She sighed deeply, and pushed the door open.

Her eyes widened and she went crimson, as the sight of his almost naked body hit her smack in the face. He was all wet and his long hair was dripping with water. The only thing he wore was a towel.

"Damn it!" she swore, turning her back to him.

"Yes?" he said, and she could feel his amusement.

"Quit smirking, jerk! I just came to let you know I'll attend your damn reunion tonight."

"Stop acting upset, Kagome, you know as well as I do that you are not. You only had your ego wounded a little, that is all."

She had to admit he was right. She wasn't all that sensitive, after all. She'd just been pissed off by the fact that he was stronger than she was, and by his condescending tone. What the hell did a little bit of blood matter, anyway? He was what he was, and he couldn't help his needs. And she had offered. There was no point in feeling stupid about it, now was there?

"Fine, then. Thank you." He said, and she just raised an eyebrow.

"Fine." She answered flatly, not knowing what else to do. She should have left, but she didn't really want to.

After an awkward moment of silence, Sesshoumaru decided to try joking… for a change.

"Did you mean that last line before you left, or did you just blurt it out without thought?" She forced her laughter so not pop out and embarrass her. She was blushing again, but her back was turned so…

"No, Sesshoumaru, I didn't mean it literally. Keep at safe distance, or by God I'll shove a stick through your heart and kill you." He huffed.

"Actually, that is another idiotic myth about vampires. You would probably slow me down a little, but I would still be faster than you are, Kagome. Oh, and please do not invade my house with the smell of garlic, I absolutely hate it, although it is another thing that would probably do absolutely squat against my being a vampire. No running water, either, as you can see, because I just had a shower…"

"Yeah. I've noticed. Any other useful advice?" she wanted to punch him, for maybe the trillion time tonight.

"Just one. Wear a red dress." She rolled her eyes, and shook her head.

'Again with the demands!' she stormed out the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Infuriating!" she said between her teeth, just outside his door, and Sesshoumaru smirked.

She'd wanted to know who was coming to see him, but his damned tone made her forget about it. She didn't care, it could have been anyone. Probably some business partners. She walked along the hallway, and grabbed her coat this time, before exiting. She went along the walls, reaching the main entrance, then went straight into her room. She had to get those wet clothes off her.

:---:

She was standing in front of the huge dressing closet, staring at the gowns and desperately trying to avoid the red one. There was only one red dress there, and she finally grabbed the darn thing to take a look at it. What she saw upon closer inspection made her wonder I f the bastard had chosen it personally, because it seemed so like him to dress a woman like that! Especially her!

She put it on, not without some effort, and stared at her own body, in the mirror. The dress left little to the imagination, although it was tastefully made. Her shoulders and neck were bare, as her breasts were cupped into a tight corset tied with laces in the back.

The high split in the dress went up her leg to the point where if she crossed her legs, she would show quite a display… But the fabric was flowing on her body and if she stood up the split was almost not noticeable.

She turned to one side and parted her dress, bending the knee out and looking at her own leg. She made a pose, and gazed into her own eyes, in the mirror.

"Jerk…" she said, but smiled, deciding to go with this idiotic and pointless game he so much enjoyed. Two could play it, as Sesshoumaru would soon find out. She was bound to get burnt if she was to play with fire, but by God, he would too! She grinned, and raised an eyebrow.

"You'll lose at your own game, Sesshoumaru." She said out loud. Sure she had to help him with the other thing, that hadn't changed, but that didn't mean she couldn't have some fun in the meantime. And bugging a vampire proved to be irresistible.

Emma knocked on the door.

"Miss Kagome?" she heard the maid say.

"Come in, Emma." The young woman stared at Kagome for a second.

"Good evening. You look very…"

"Hot, right?" Kagome finished, and Emma giggled, then resumed her usual composure, a little surprised at her own reaction.

"Beautiful." She said, and Kagome smiled at her.

"Can you do something with my hair, Emma? I want it pulled up." She moved to look at her back in the mirror, and Emma thought about it for a second.

"Of course, Miss Kagome." They smiled at each other as Emma began to lift Kagome's hair up and leave her slender neck uncovered.

When the maid finished, Kagome's hair was up in a slightly messy, but elegant style which suited her very well.

"Lord Sesshoumaru will receive guests tonight." Emma said, and Kagome nodded, placing a delicate necklace with a jade stone at her neck. Soon followed matching earrings and a bracelet.

"Yes, he will." Kagome said, in a conspirative tone which made Emma look at her suspiciously.

"Do you know who?" Kagome asked, but Emma shrugged her shoulders.

"No."

"Oh well." Kagome stood up and took a final look into the mirror, before putting on her high heels and heading to the door. Emma reached it first and opened it for her.

"Thank you." Kagome said, and hoped she could walk in those shoes without breaking her damn neck.

As she approached the great room where Sesshoumaru was to receive his mysterious guests, a slight feeling of uneasiness washed over her.

She pushed the doors open with some effort and took in the sight of the Lord in the comfort of his own home, feeling relaxed and in control.

Sesshoumaru had a glass of the same, very red wine in his hand, and he was looking out the large window, seemingly at the rain outside, because she didn't think much else could be seen.

He was dressed completely in black, a powerful contrast with his white hair, which fell over one of his shoulders, tied loosely with a black piece of… something. He was breathtaking, but then again, so was she.

Her hands rested on the open doors, as they both eyed each other from head to toe. Sesshoumaru tightened his grip on the delicate glass in his hand.

:---: