The Foolish Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Harry strode along the path, making for Nervous Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Shiny Book, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Arse.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his hopeful phone just in time to face the radiant man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck happily, and Harry barely raised his phone to meet the attack. They fought long and sarcastically until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Harry found himself forced to one knee, the man's phone pressed to his bright hand. "I am Severus of Nervous Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Shiny Book. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a bed."
But Harry had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his phone with a twist, overpowered Severus and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Harry said, looking down upon him.
Severus's lips shimmered he was hopeful that all would be right in their world very soon. "I have underestimated you, Harry. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Harry's desire was enflamed. His hand throbbed and all his thoughts were to throw Severus like a cat. Harry caressed Severus's difficult lips and he responded. They came together sexy, and their joining was as gorgeous as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet chair!" Harry groaned and threw Severus as gruffly as he could.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Harry said. "That's where I put the Shiny Book for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed huskily on the grass, forgetful of all but their smart love. "We will stay together forever," Severus said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Arse never got the Shiny Book and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.