CHAPTER SIX
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(If Lawson227 and Dragonmactir can do interlude-y chapters, so can I!)
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I miss you.
Then why are you making me wait until Friday?
Because it would be too confusing.
How can it be any more confusing?
I'm somehow sure it will be. I'm sorry, Carlton. You know I'm not normally this crazy.
You're not crazy NOW. But you being so far away is getting to me.
It's getting to me, too, and maybe that's part of the crazy.
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Maybe I shouldn't come up at all. Maybe I'm just going to make it worse for you.
No. It would be worse if I couldn't see you. I need to see you.
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Juliet, am I really reading this right? Am I feeling this right?
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:-) Now you understand the crazy part, because you are.
Feeling this right, that is. If you're feeling it the way I'm feeling it.
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I was feeling it long before this week.
But there's no reason you should be feeling anything for me or about me given everything else on your mind.
Carlton, there are plenty of reasons. And I know we're both dancing around this, in TEXTS, because we're both terrified. I'm terrified, anyway.
Hell, I'm in cardiac arrest.
:-) :-) And you know, sometimes chaos reveals as much as it conceals. I've had you in a kind of mental, heart-al compartment for a long time. But when you texted me Weds. you burst out of the compartment.
Never did like being cooped up.
I care about Shawn and I guess I always will. But Carlton, the truth is, I cared about you first. And I'll care about you for the rest of my life in a way no one else will ever be able to touch.
No matter what.
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You might reconcile with him.
No.
He's persuasive. That's how he's gotten this far.
Then YOU date him, Carlton, because it won't be me, ever again. Ideally, we'll be friendly. But nothing more.
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It's too early to be so sure.
When you've heard my story, you won't think that.
Dammit, Juliet.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, I'm such an idiot.
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"Stop saying that. I don't want to hear you talk about yourself that way. You're the smartest, nicest, kindest and definitely the most beautiful person I've ever known, and you are nobody's idiot."
"But I am sorry. I know you must feel like I'm leading you on or being mysterious but I promise, I don't mean to, and I'm—"
"Juliet," he sighed. "It's okay. I'm sorry that I'm putting pressure on you."
"I've put you in an impossible situation. You're entitled to put a little pressure on me."
"I don't want to be like that," he said honestly. "Who knows better than I do that pushy doesn't work in personal relationships?"
She was silent a moment. Then, softly, "This one will be different."
He was silent a moment, too, and almost wished he hadn't called her, because the phone couldn't hide as much fear as a text could. "Because?"
"Because…" She hesitated, but only a moment. "Because we're already together, Carlton. We've been together for years. What we're… avoiding saying right out is just a wonderful new layer to the strongest, best relationship I've ever had."
He listened to these words from the woman he'd loved so long, but he couldn't manage any of his own. His heart's pounding would drown him out anyway.
"Yeah," she went on, "the timing sucks. But a lot of things suck and still work out for the best, don't they?"
"It's not just the timing," he muttered. "I kind of suck, too."
"And if you said that to my face it'd be hard for me not to slap you," she said defiantly.
"That's my girl."
"Yeah, I am. I am now. I kinda think maybe I always was."
He just breathed for a bit, and the silence on her side was somehow… warm. "Okay. You left town just over a week ago because of something Spencer did, and somehow we end up talking about… an us."
"Pretty much." She almost sounded cheerful. "I know. It is crazy. But we're not two people who just met. We're not even just co-workers. We're…"
"… going to see where it goes," he supplied after her pause, knowing that for him, where it went was to the end of forever, and he wouldn't need any pot of gold as long as he had her.
"Yes."
"After you tell me the big story on Friday."
"Yes."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah, O'Hara. If I live through the next three days."
"You will."
"And you're sure of this why exactly?"
"Because I need you," she said simply.
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