Unliving

Chapter seventeen – With and without remorse

Kagome arrived on the airport in Blackpool on a stormy night, at nine pm. Her luggage was almost nonexistent; she was only carrying her huge bag, not even her laptop, which was indeed something. As she walked out of the boarding tunnel, her head turned from one side to another, wondering how she will manage to get as far as Muncaster. This time, there was no one to wait for her; there was no one who knew she was coming. She almost tripped on an old woman's luggage, as she was searching with her eyes for someone to guide her, maybe some cab driver, she really didn't know. Although she did know how to get there, there was really no point in attempting such a thing by foot, it was raining like hell outside, and the wind was blowing with such strength that it scared her.

"Excuse me…" Kagome started, talking to a clerk from the Information desk "… could you please tell me how can I get to Muncaster?" She waited, wide-eyed, looking at the brown haired woman, but she didn't seem to understand Kagome's words. So the journalist asked again.

"I said…"

"I heard you, Miss." the woman finally responded.

"But why would you want to go there?" she seemed very puzzled. Kagome frowned and decided that these people were too accustomed to knowing everybody else's business.

"I think that's my concern, right? Is there any kind of taxi that could drive me there, or…?" Kagome said, getting a little aggravated. This woman was toying with her precious time, and she had none to lose.

"Yes, any taxi outside the airport, but I doubt anyone would agree to take you there." Kagome rolled her eyes.

"That's what I'm saying. I know it's far away and secluded, that's why I'm…" her words were cut short by a blonde apparition that Kagome saw with the corner of her eye. She turned around fast, to catch that person who she knew would help her purpose.

"Sabrya…" Kagome whispered, her eyes running wildly from one person to another, searching for the blonde head she'd just seen. But Sabrya was nowhere to be found. The desk clerk tried to say something, but Kagome just waved her off, and walked away, leaving the woman in the dark.

"I know I saw her, it was her…" Kagome was talking to herself, drawing curious looks from some of the people that passed by her. She didn't care, she had to find Sabrya. In a moment of brightness, she headed outside, where she knew she should find that black Rolls Royce. Before she could get wet by the raindrops, she eyed the imposing car and waited for the driver to return. Her heart was beating out of her chest, as she knew Sabrya would come any moment now. Kagome was anxious, like she hadn't been in her entire life. She was going to see him in an hour, tops.

The blonde hanyou walked towards the car, with a large umbrella over her head, and was getting ready to open the door, when a hand grabbed her by the shoulder. Almost astounded, Sabrya turned around to see a woman's wet face and her trembling figure in the rain. The hanyou instinctively extended her arm to cover this crazy woman too, so that she wouldn't get even more drenched. It took Sabrya a minute to recognize her, seeing as the woman was rambling about something she couldn't make out.

"Miss Higurashi?" Kagome's eyes lit up and she smiled, water dripping off her chin, and her jeans completely wet. She was cold as hell, and shivering, but it didn't matter, she had to get to him, she had to see Sesshoumaru.

"Yes, Sabrya, yes, I have to…"

"What are you doing here? I thought you left…"

"I have to see him, Sabrya, please take me to Muncaster." Sabrya frowned and shook her head.

"Lord Sesshoumaru is not there anymore." she said, and her clear voice sounded like an explosion inside Kagome's head.

"What?" she embraced her own waist, wishing she would stop shivering, as trails of water made their way down her clothes.

"Where is he?" she couldn't believe this, it wasn't happening!

"He left just now. You should really leave him be, Miss Higurashi, you don't know how…" Kagome didn't wait for the woman to finish. She grabbed her shoulders and shook her a few times strongly. Sabrya dropped her umbrella, and they both fell victim to the pouring rain, both being wet in a matter of seconds. Kagome didn't care though.

"No, you don't know! I have to see him, he has to know…. Where? What gate?" her violet eyes were dark now and Sabrya had never seen such determination with anyone, in her entire life. This woman was almost hysterical.

"No, leave him alone, you've done enough harm." the blonde woman said, with some resent. Kagome bit on her teeth not to slap her.

"Tell me Sabrya, tell me or by God I'll track him down no matter how long it takes. He loves me; he has to listen to me!" Sabrya dreaded this fact, and couldn't deny the truth. She knew her Lord was in love with this human, as improbable as it might have seemed to anyone.

"That's just why he's leaving, because he loves you and you…" Sabrya looked at her feet, shaking her head. People passed by them and gave them strange looks, of concern and curiosity. Some of them knew who Sabrya was, but they didn't know Kagome, and so they realized the two women argued about Lord Sesshoumaru. Kagome shook Sabrya's shoulders again.

"I love him too, Sabrya. I swear I do, let me talk to him, please…" she forced the hanyou to look her in the eyes, to see she was being sincere. All her desperation was there, inside those eyes. Sabrya closed hers for a second, and then whispered:

"Gate twelve." Kagome let go of her in that very instant, mumbling a "thank you" to the young woman, and ran inside the crowded airport, in the wrong lane, pushing people out of her way, and scared as hell that she could have arrived too late. She heard the boarding call for all those planes, and she wondered which was his. Finally, she heard that the passengers for Helsinki were being boarded at gate twelve. Luckily, it wasn't the last call, and she sped up as best she could, with all the people pushing her out of the way.

The last call was being broadcasted as she reached the gate, soaked in rain water, and with her lungs aching. She looked awful, with her hair wet and stuck to her face and scalp, her clothes as dripping with rain water, and wheezing as she was breathing.

"Wait, wait! I have to…" she stretched her arm to the flight attendant, and the woman smiled at her, confused.

"Miss? Are you alright?"

"No…" Kagome whispered, as she was struggling to catch her breath "… I have to…. get on board…" she managed to say.

"Do you have a ticket?" the young woman asked, rather insecure. She probably had a suspicion that the wild woman before her didn't have a ticket. So she looked at Kagome with kindness, from under her eyebrows, as the Japanese girl bent and grabbed her chest to stop the wheezing in her breath.

"No, but I have to…" Kagome's eyes all but cried out her desperation. The woman smiled at her, and helped her up.

"Let me guess, he is in there, right?" the woman saw this situation as a very romantic one, just like in the movies, and figured Kagome couldn't run like that for someone other than her lover. She'd assumed correctly.

"Yes! Please!" Kagome said, in relief, all her pain forgotten and her eyes sparkling with hope.

"Well, let's see what we can do."

"Really?" Kagome smiled as the woman walked before her through the tunnel, and in a few seconds she was boarded. The flight attendant looked at her attentively, as the violet eyes searched for her loved one. A gentle smile lit the young woman's face, as she whispered to the other fight attendant this exotic girl's request, and they both ended up smiling. The women were local, and they were squirming with curiosity as to who the girl's lover was, it was all very exciting to them. Of course, as Kagome widened her beautiful eyes and walked to the business class chair, they both thought this girl must have been crazy. It couldn't be him!

"Sesshoumaru!" her soft, breathless voice broke the silence in the small room, and the Lord turned his gold eyes to the sound. The flight attendants followed Kagome at a respectful distance, and stopped to take in the view. A soaked woman was knelt at the Lord's feet, with her head on his knees, saying the most unusual words.

"You idiot! How could you lie to me like that, I can't believe you just…" She raised her face to him. Sesshoumaru couldn't react, he was simply astonished by her presence here, and looking the way she did. He helped her up and stood himself, cupping her cheeks in his palms and wiping them dry with his thumbs.

"What did you do, Kagome?" he said and she could cry hearing his soft voice, filled with what she knew was worry, and love. She knew, no matter what anyone said.

"I came to see you, you arrogant jerk, and to tell you that you can't fool me like a kindergarten child. I know who you are, and I know you love me. So don't push me away, dammit! Don't push me away!" Sesshoumaru stared into her violet eyes and couldn't believe she'd come this far just to tell him this… and almost missed him. It was really impressive; no one had done anything quite like that for him before.

"You will catch your death." he said, not without some amount of emotion in his voice, as he cleared her face of the wet strands. Kagome smiled just for a second.

"I hope so. You can undo that, you know." she said, and felt how his surprise sprung up. His golden eyes widened and he just stared at her for some seconds, before looking away and whispering.

"You first." Kagome let out a fast breath and jumped to embrace him. Sesshoumaru stiffened as her cold arms went around his neck, and he took in her rainy scent. He could feel her wet hair on his cheek, and her body pressing against his. Kagome had come back, but he didn't know if he was worth what she was willing to give up for him.

"Don't just stand there…" she mumbled into his shoulder, barely holding her ground as she stood up on her toes to level with the tall Lord. Sesshoumaru slowly moved his arms to answer her embrace and as he closed his arms around her waist and back, Kagome tightened her grip, sinking even further into him.

"Jerk." she said softly, like it would have been some endearing word. Kagome then laughed out nervously, and let go of him. She narrowed her eyes and sunk her gaze into his.

"So are you gonna kill me or what?" Sesshoumaru widened his eyes and, for the first time in his entire life, he blushed. People were looking at them like they were mad, quite a few whispering stuff that she couldn't make out. But Sesshoumaru could, and by the looks of him, they weren't pretty stuff. He felt a little embarrassed, and maybe exposed, due to her unthought-of comment.

"We would best go home, Kagome." he said, letting go of her waist, and nodding to the flight attendant who'd brought Kagome on board, signaling that he could get off the plane so that it could finally take off. This entire thing had delayed the take off for a few minutes as it was.

Kagome didn't really care about any of that. As long as she was with him, and he was in one piece, she was happy. That would have explained the sudden blindness to those intrusive looks the passengers were giving her, after the last line she'd said.

:---:

He knew there was nothing there for him anymore, and still Alexis couldn't bring himself to leave the inn. He was too close to Sesshoumaru, too close to just turn away and leave all those feelings behind. He exited the room and wandered about the small village, until he could sense clearly just what it had been that draught him out. Sesshoumaru, as always. His presence was imprinted in Alexis' flesh, in his mind, the Lord's golden stare was there, in the back of Alexis' head, and he couldn't be rid of it, even if he wanted to.

The vampire knew all to well that this obsession wasn't even remotely connected to love. It was something higher that that, and for this reason he couldn't figure out why Sesshoumaru would reject it. But his childe had always been different, and there was no point in trying to force him into anything. Sesshoumaru would only grow bitter and cold.

Alexis sighed, looking up at the full moon. A few clouds were staining the sky in that particular area, and the moon was half covered. But Alexis knew it was full, by the howl he'd heard earlier in the night. One was reaching his sensitive hearing now, and the vampire was wondering why the werewolves would start another war at this time. Maybe their society had been shaken by some fight for power, as was the Kindred's, quite often. But the vampires would always choose lies and treachery to get to their purposes, as opposed to the werewolves, who were feral, untamed creatures.

They were vicious predators, and enjoyed the blood spill to a level even Alexis couldn't understand. And during his very long life, he'd done some atrocious acts that even he didn't care to remember. What was worse, he'd done them willingly, not submitting to any rule written or otherwise. He could remember numerous times when he'd left his vessels to bleed to death before his eyes, after he's used them to his satisfaction. He hadn't even been hungry. He'd just punctured their jugular, drank an insignificant amount of blood, then looked into their eyes and induced a state similar to a paralysis. The women had been aware they were going to die from blood loss, and he rejoiced the terrified and helpless look inside their eyes.

No human could resist him, no one. He wouldn't have it any other way. If he couldn't draw them away to feast on their vitae, he would force them. They all gave in eventually. They all wanted it, he could see the desire in their eyes, he could smell it on their skin. And it disgusted him. Every time, he would punish them for being just some other human whore. Giving into his needs was the equivalent of spreading their legs to any human man.

He was getting sick to his stomach even thinking of human women, not to mention touching them. They were only good for one thing: vessels. Nothing more, because they could never be anything more. He had realized this for some hundred years now, which was fairly late, but better late than never.

As he walked along the side of the road in the middle of the night, Alexis began to trail off, and cut the distance to Muncaster across the plain. It was very cold, and the air was sprayed with water. The humidity annoyed the vampire, who felt it creeping inside his clothing. He wore a long leather coat which reached to his knees, dark blue pants and a black sweater. His black hair was tied down, but the wind was constantly toying with it, throwing strands over his shoulder.

Alexis stopped in the middle of the field and raised his nose in the air. A slight movement was constant in the distance. The air had something off about it, and the vampire grinned, making a round movement with his head, until he was looking from under his eyebrows at the form making its way across the dead plain. The ground was cold and moist from all the rain in the past weeks. Alexis licked the corner of his upper lip with the tip of his tongue, and flexed his fingers, as the claws grew.

He wanted blood. He craved it, he could almost smell it, could almost taste it, and he didn't care where it came from, as long as it was crimson, and filled with pain. He got a shiver as he recalled the feeling of blood speckles across his cold cheek. That creature was dead, with no other right before him. It was prey.

Alexis arched his back for a second, and then sprung forward, tensing every muscle in his slender body. His enemies had died of horrible deaths because they had underestimated that body, and Alexis stood above them every time, smiling as the life or unlife slipped away from their flesh. Just toys… They were all toys for his amusement, and for his revenge against their very nature.

The approaching danger made the werewolf stop in his track. He hadn't noticed the vampire, but he could smell him now, that the direction of the wind had changed. He was coming up fast, and the werewolf was wondering what kind of mad Kindred would take one of his kind head on, by choice. He was going to find out soon enough.

Alexis stopped not ten feet from the werewolf, and waited until he turned around completely.

"You've got a death wish, blood sucker." the werewolf groaned between his teeth. Alexis smiled wickedly. They all said that, just before they choked on their own blood.

"Know the name of the one who brings you demise. I am Daithi." the werewolf said, and as he finished the name, his claws scraped Alexis' cheek. The vampire hadn't expected the attack to be so sudden, but he wouldn't be caught off guard again. A werewolf was no easy prey though. It seemed as he would have to work harder for his delight, tonight. But it wasn't an impossible task; his power was something extraordinary when it came to dealing with the fury pets, like he called werewolves.

Alexis leapt back and landed with a knee on the ground, leaning forward a little, and eyeing Daithi. The werewolf had two sparkling green eyes that dug into the vampire's head. Alexis could see the fangs rubbing against each other, and the roughened features of the werewolf before him. He could smell Daithi's anger, the resent he carried for the Kindred, and it excited him. He licked his lips, as Daithi came to attack him again. Alexis narrowed his eyes and inside those green lights Daithi's attack was played in slow motion. He saw then that this wasn't by far a worthy opponent, as he'd thought originally. Daithi was merely a cub.

The two thousand years of Alexis' life covered Daithi's four or five times. The vampire grinned, as he stood up and extended his clawed hand to plunge his fingers into the werewolf's throat. But Daithi stopped his attack, and only got scraped a little. Alexis tilted his head, and threw his a hectic look. Then he stepped forward, pulling his arm back and staring into the werewolf's eyes. As their eyes connected, Daithi knew he was lost. He growled deep in his chest, but Alexis caught his lower jaw, and urged his face closer to his own. Daithi stuck his claws in the vampire's shoulder, ripping his clothes and his flesh with a swift movement. Alexis didn't even blink. He couldn't.

"Stay." he said, and Daithi began to settle down, although he was still clawing Alexis' left arm. The vampire's poisonous eyes widened as he drew blood from the motionless young werewolf.

"Good doggy." he grinned, not moving his stare from Daithi's. The anger he felt underneath the creature's skin, the rage in his eyes was fearsome and delightful. The helplessness and the refusal to submit almost made Alexis roll his eyes back in pleasure. His fingers squeezed tighter, until he felt the bones crack under his grip, and it was only then that Daithi moaned out his pain.

"Howl, doggy. There's no one here." the vampire whispered into Daithi's ear. The body he was dominating began to fall limp, and Alexis decided to give this werewolf a breather.

So he changed the grip on his jaw with a slash across his neck and torso. The wounds fell open and in a second, blood stained Alexis' skin. The coppery smell of it made the vampire swallow.

"You're so sweet…" Alexis said, bending over Daithi's still form, whose eyes were burning in resent. He couldn't move, this vampire was stronger than he'd ever heard any vampire to be. And in that instant, he knew there was no hope for him. He would die like a worthless human, from the hand of this monster, who couldn't even be named as vampire. Daithi wondered if The Kindred knew who they held among them.

A sharp talon slowly cut across Daithi's stomach, then up his chest and finally slashed his neck. It didn't take long, and the light inside the green eyes of the werewolf faded. His eyes remained avert though, looking up through the face of his killer, who traced a blood mark with his claw, across his own face, taking in the smell and the feeling of exquisite liberation.

"Death is wasted on the dead." Alexis said, and he bent to kiss Daithi's forehead. He said that every time he would look into their eyes, those clean pools of nothingness. There was no pain there anymore, after all the turmoil they had felt… suddenly there was nothing left. The rage, the fear… all gone, forever. How could you hate death? He turned his back on his victim, and left his dead body staining the earth with blood. There was nothing more he could do, now.

:---:

By the shaking willows, at the edge of the forest, a loner passed his time thinking, something he hadn't done in a long time. Burdened with age and remorse, consumed by power, and ruling by it, Aeron thought of his kind. The werewolves had been restless in the past month; small groups of youngsters fought for domination and randomly attacked Kindred.

The unsteady balance between the two races was now at risk, and Aeron wasn't going to pay with blood again. Vampires had grown even more wicked, and their magic was even more twisted in there times. He'd heard rumors about them feeding on each other, absorbing one another to gain more power.

He was disgusted at what these vile creatures could do, to their own kind. Not to mention the obvious raids into human population. They had no respect anymore, they began to feel overly important, and Aeron feared that things would go out of control soon enough. He dreaded the day in which he would be forced to start yet another battle for survival.

Maybe the old age was getting to him, finally, but he didn't want another war. He's had his fair share of senseless murder, and rage for blood. He wondered what his clan would say if they heard their leader talk like this.

The smell of blood reached his nose, and immediately he stood up.

"Daithi." he's gone looking for the youngest member of his clan, who'd left after an argument that got out of hand. Aeron closed his eyes, knowing that the cub had met his demise.

In a matter of minutes, he was by Daithi's corpse, but the view was more than the old werewolf would have expected. Daithi was gutted like an animal, his blood all spilled and his eyes avert to nothing. Aeron bent and closed Daithi's eyes, and his own, knowing that no other but a vampire could do this. But… who? And what could this mean? Was it Daithi that challenged the vampire? It was plausible, given the young one's unsteady temper. But even Daithi wouldn't be as rash as to provoke a vampire old enough to do this to him. It would have been clear suicide.

So, that left the other option, where the Kindred attacked Daithi. The odds were clearly in favor of this unknown vampire, why would he be as cruel as to attack a young werewolf who hadn't done anything against him? Aeron shook his head and turned his eyes from Daithi's massacred body. He knew Sesshoumaru had left, so it couldn't have been the Lord. And besides, that particular Kindred had always kept to himself, and never interfered in the fights for power inside the Ventrue clan.

He was an odd one, and even Aeron couldn't presume to understand what was going on through his mind. All he knew about Sesshoumaru was that he'd come from an exotic land, and that he's been one of the last taiyoukai in his house. The old werewolf almost felt sorry for the youkai turned vampire. Such potential, shattered by a greedy desire to seize strength not yet owned. He hoped Sesshoumaru's sire didn't get to enjoy the Lord's power.

:---:

"My hands are shaking." Kagome said, as she stood in front of Sesshoumaru, in the armory room.

"Are you sure you want this?" the Lord almost whispered. Kagome couldn't smile, she was too nervous. She took a quick look at Tenseiga, and then back at him. She nodded.

"But… are you sure I can bring your blood back?" Sesshoumaru tilted his head.

"You sure are confident…" she whispered, looking at the sword again.

"I believe I have not yet told you that I love you Kagome. I do." he was so serious, and the statement so sudden, that Kagome almost choked on her words.

"I'm… I know." she said, not wanting to serve him that dulled "me too." He knew, and it showed on his face. He wouldn't have said he loved her, if he wouldn't have been sure. He wouldn't have put himself in such a vulnerable position. Kagome smiled ghostly, and closed the distance between them, embracing Sesshoumaru. She leaned her forehead against his chest and breathed deeply.

"We can do this." she said, determinedly. Sesshoumaru put a hand on the top of her head, and kissed her hair.

"We can." he said, like an echo. Kagome fought against her tears.

"I'm scared." she finally said, sighing. Sesshoumaru found that he understood her.

"I am too." She looked up at him, and saw it in his eyes. He was scared for her, not himself. She frowned.

"We can do this." Kagome said again, and kissed him determinedly on his lips. Sesshoumaru felt her small hands catch his face and her warm lips against his, and he really believed her. For once, he believed in something, and it was a mortal woman, who was willing to die for him. Literally.

Kagome parted from him, took in a deep breath, and headed for the wall where Tenseiga was pinned up. She grabbed the katana from its handle, and held it before her eyes, eyeing it carefully.

"You'd better work as you're supposed to." she said to the sharp blade that couldn't kill. Her reflection looked at Kagome from the steel blade, and it seemed to wink at the young woman.

Sesshoumaru took Tokijin out on its place, and held its blade down, looking at Kagome. How was he supposed to kill her? How? Was there a law of this world or the other, to forgive him for what he was about to do? He didn't know. All he knew was that his lover would die by his hand, and that it was clawing at his soul to see her stand there, waiting for him to do it. So patiently, so confident… so trusting. So in love. The Lord frowned. It felt so wrong that he should have been punished over a thousand lives for this murder.

As he saw Kagome's eyes widen, and Tenseiga pointing towards his chest, he knew that the young mortal had contained the sword's power.

"My God…" Kagome whispered, looking at the beautiful, perfect blade of Tenseiga.

"It's alive. I swear it's alive." she said.

"Sesshoumaru, what happens if I just… try to cut you? Wouldn't you… transform? I mean… this feels pretty strong."

"It would only bring me to life; I would not be rid of the vampire blood in me. I would die." Kagome looked at her sword again, then back at him. She lowered her arm and left Tenseiga beside her, on the floor. Sesshoumaru was supposed to use it first.

"I'm ready." she said, a little too loudly, betraying her fright. Sesshoumaru looked at her, standing there before him, with her arms so peacefully beside her body, he looked at her face, determined and afraid, he looked inside her beautiful violet eyes, and he felt pain. Nothing else but pain. It was beyond his limits to kill her. He couldn't do it. He pointed Tokijin towards her stomach, and stepped forward until the sharp tip of the blade pressed lightly against her body. Kagome shivered, but stayed put. Sesshoumaru clenched his teeth. This was so wrong, it was so very wrong…

"I cannot." he said, and the woman frowned. She felt like she'd received a punch in the face.

"You have to." she said, breathlessly, and swiftly stepped towards him and into his blade, whimpering as the cold metal pierced through her stomach. Sesshoumaru immediately let go of Tokijin's handle, and pulled it out by the blade, from Kagome's stomach. She looked at him only for a moment, before her eyes rolled back and she fell limp into his arms. Her warm blood spilled over his hands, and the Lord let out a pained howl that shook Muncaster from its core. He held her still body against his chest and couldn't think of anything. He wasn't whole; something inside him didn't fall into place anymore. He was cold and empty all of a sudden, he was meaningless and misplaced without her heartbeat in this world. As Kagome's would bled over Sesshoumaru's clothes, he knew how he loved her, and he knew he could save her. He had to.

:---: