Unliving

Chapter eighteen - Time for ourselves

Tenseiga laid by her side, the sharp blade of Heaven judging its master for what he'd done to his loved one. His loved one… A thought that hadn't crossed Sesshoumaru's mind for a very very long time, and never in this manner. Maybe this woman really was his soul mate, as questionable as that could have been. But what sick joke was this, to bind an immortal's soul with a mortal's? After all this time, after all his endless solitude, his millennial life, to find her now… Why now?

Sesshoumaru frowned at the sight of her blood. Her wound was fairly deep, and she was quite dead. Tenseiga almost moved from its spot, the pulse was so powerful. Sesshoumaru looked at the sword in disbelief. It was something he'd hoped for with his entire being, but he didn't think it would feel like this. He was actually aware of his blood flow, now. He could feel his body tensing and his heartbeat fighting to rush the life force through his veins. Youkai.

He took Tenseiga and held it before his eyes, then laid down Kagome's lifeless body. His heart was hardly beating at the sight of her, but he knew he could bring her back. Standing up, the Lord pointed the blade of Heaven towards the woman, and narrowed his gold eyes, praying to every God there was for his sword to hear his call.

"Tenseiga, please." he whispered, clutching onto the handle. The sword pulsed once, and he felt a sharp pain in his gut. The youkai blood was raging against the vampire inside him. He only hoped that his ancestors' inheritance was stronger than this parasitic one. So, he tried to hold his ground, and focus on the small creatures he knew he had to see. So far, he could see only smoke. No precise forms, only shades and light movement. He took in a deep breath and frowned, looking at her face.

"Kagome. Come back." he said unwaveringly, and raised Tenseiga's blade a little. The smoke slowly began to take shape, twisting and turning, forming several small bodies, the outlines of what they were meant to be. Sesshoumaru narrowed his gold eyes and concentrated. His veins could barely sustain the rush of blood; it was like a furious torrent going downhill, after a terrible storm. Clouds seemed to rip apart and howl inside him, his vision blurred and he began to see red in the corners of his eyes. The beast wanted to prevail, but he had to steady it, he had to be stronger.

The creatures looked up at him, and then concentrated on the lifeless body they were meant to carry away and consume in time. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes in relief, only fore a second. His face hardened, and his features roughened, as he cut through the smoky figures of the messengers from the other world. Immediately, Tenseiga sent a cold spear through its handle, striking its master through the arm and into the chest. The contact was electric, shaking his entire body, and yet keeping him tied to the handle. The blade was punishing the master. Sesshoumaru knew there would be no forgiveness in Tenseiga for what he'd done.

The Lord first wanted to let go of the sword, but found that it was impossible. He fell on his knees quivering, his eyes losing light. He felt like his insides were burning and freezing at the same time, and Tenseiga wasn't helping at all. He'd thought this would feel different. But the blade emitted a bright colorless light that seemed to burn him from the inside out. His body was a battle ground between to magnificent forces, and he felt ripped to shreds. Tenseiga was reigning over both his youkai and his vampire powers, holding them in place, seemingly: the vampire from ripping the body to pieces, and the youkai from transforming the Lord into a beast. He had yet another duty to fulfill.

From the cold, watery prison she'd fallen into, Kagome was looking up. She couldn't tell in the walls were made out of water or just wet. It looked like a cave. A cold, hollow cave. The sounds were reaching her ears, but she didn't know if they were close, or miles away, it could have been both. She started to think that they were just her imagination. But then long shadows glided on the other side of the walls, and Kagome dared stand up. The floor was wet as it was, and she didn't really enjoy it.

'So this is the afterlife? Not much of a life…' she thought. A cutting pain hit her stomach just as she managed to stand on her feet, and she instinctively put a hand on her abdomen. She literally had a hole in her body, and her fingers were covered in blood. The pain was slightly more than she thought she could stand, so she crashed back down, noticing that a crouched position somewhat helped.

'Suicide… She'll be punished…' she heard, and her violet eyes darted in the direction she thought she should have seen the one saying the words.

'Eternal solitude, punish her, she took her own life… punish her…' Kagome watched in terror how the walls kept sinking into each other, collapsing under their own weight and slowly gliding towards her. The room she sat in kept getting smaller, tighter, and she felt like she couldn't breathe.

'I didn't… I didn't take my life!' she screamed, or she wanted to, but her voice dug into the watery walls and disappeared into the thick mass of liquid.

'Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru!' she began yelling, her voice getting weaker by the second, the walls collapsing over one another, and the ceiling twisting.

Kagome laid down on her back, her hand on her stomach, looking up at the watery prison.

'Save me.' she whispered. Before her words could die into the walls, the ceiling froze, a beautiful icy column forming just above the young woman. Her eyes lost focus as she stared up at the glassy surface. A bright white light cracked the cold ceiling and it shattered in a matter of seconds. Kagome felt lifted, all her pain left behind and her fear gone. The voices didn't sound as menacing anymore, they had become whispers.

Kagome opened her eyes to a blurry surrounding. She was vaguely aware that she was laid down in her own blood. Her head felt heavy, and she couldn't remember where she was. She stood up on her elbows, and swallowed, trying to recall something important. Her eyes darted to her right, and there he was. Knelt, shuddering, and almost consumed by the war inside him. Kagome didn't think it over for a split second even. She crawled by his side and grabbed Tenseiga by the blade, steadying Sesshoumaru erratic movement.

"Sesshoumaru!" she cried out, trying to look into his eyes. But he couldn't see her, although he seemed to be looking in her direction. Kagome called him again, but no answer came for her. She pulled Tenseiga by the blade, and Sesshoumaru fell over her, pinning her body to the floor. He was very heavy, and Kagome couldn't breathe right. His entire body was shaking like electric shocks would have passed through it from time to time, and the young woman was scared senseless. She didn't know what to do. What could she do, other than try to help him? His body was growing cold though, and she began to fear that she really wasn't the right one to save him. But… he'd been able to save her, and that said a lot, didn't it?

"Sesshoumaru…" Kagome whispered, catching the back of his neck. Tenseiga laid between them, and Kagome could feel the powerful flow inside the blade. This time, it didn't flow into her, but into him. It was an impressive display of how the sword protected its master. Kagome closed her eyes, and pressed his cheek against her shoulder.

"I want you to live. I want to see the sunrise with you." she whispered close to Sesshoumaru's ear, and her tears rolled down onto his fair skin. It only took a moment, and neither knew what had happened.

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and looked at her. He moved a little to kiss her, and when he touched her lips, a scorching fire flooded him, forcing something out of his body. Kagome was glowing a purple light, and he thought she looked like an angel. Then, he fell limp over her body, and she lost consciousness. The bright light from Tenseiga's blade veiled them both, as the night slipped away from the horizon, fleeting from the sun's impending rise.

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Her chest was burdened with a heavy load, and she was numb. Kagome opened her eyes once again, and this time she knew for sure where she was. Sesshoumaru was still unconscious. But not gone. His heartbeat was beating furiously against her chest, and she breathed easy, smiling in relief and kissing the blue crescent moon on his forehead.

"Thank you, God." she whispered, and closed her arms over Sesshoumaru's body, squeezing a little.

"I believe God has little to do with this." she heard his husky voice and gave out a surprised and pleased laugh. Sesshoumaru frowned and stood on his elbows, leaving her some room to breathe. Kagome didn't move though. She looked into his eyes and saw that fiery stare that he'd gave her for so few times. Not the icy look, not the glassy surface she had seen for so many times. His eyes were melting gold, and they were burning. She smiled widely.

"I do not know what to say." he almost whispered, out of breath. His body felt very different now, it felt warm, it felt… alive.

"You don't have to say anything." Kagome answered.

"What you did speaks for itself." she continued, touching his face with the tip of her fingers. His skin was warm, and still she couldn't believe it.

Sesshoumaru looked around.

"It is almost morning."

"That it is." Kagome said, smiling up at him. Sesshoumaru stood up and took a second to gain his balance, before extending his arm to help her up as well. The floor had been cold, and she was a little shaky. Her shirt was stained with blood, and had a significant hole right in the middle section. Kagome fingered the ruined fabric, and sighed shallowly.

"Whatever you do, don't say thanks." she said, not looking at Sesshoumaru. He knew she was going to ask that from him, and he knew why. She wasn't the person to need words; she didn't value them, which was somewhat a paradox, because she was a reporter… Sesshoumaru couldn't presume to understand her entirely, but he did know he loved her, and he respected her choices. That, however, did not mean he could not go around them. So he pulled her by the tip of her fingers, closer and closer to him, until Kagome had to look up into his eyes. She placed her other palm on his neck, just where his pulse was, and they looked at each other, not saying anything. Sesshoumaru's lips were burning with hat unsaid "thank you" that he knew he owed her, but as a twist of fate, the only time he'd truly want to say it, she didn't want to hear it. Odd.

So he embraced her instead, slowly, taking her in, and allowing her to take him in as well. His arms went around her slightly shivering body, over her shoulders, her back and ribs, her narrow waist, and her hips, moving back up her spine, and finally catching the back of her neck. Kagome laid her head against him and closed her eyes. They were so close that she could feel his breath over her hair, feel his heartbeat and his warmth. It was all real, and it wasn't forced in any way. She just wanted to sink into him and forget all about the world, all about the horrible things that were going on outside the walls of Muncaster. It was their haven, and she wanted nothing more than that.

"Come." he said, parting a little from her, and catching her hand to take her to some unknown place. Kagome didn't say anything, she just allowed him to lead her to wherever he wanted to go. They went up the main stairs, and then walked across the high and dark hallways of the castle until they reached an old entrance to some other staircase. Sesshoumaru looked back at her, and saw she was a little puzzled, but still curious.

"You shall see." he said, and Kagome nodded. She was kind of cold, but she didn't dare say anything. She was too curious as to what he wanted to show her. As they went up the spiral staircase, Kagome had the impression they climbed up the equivalent of ten floors, her assumption proving quite right after she took a look out the window at some time after they entered a rather small room.

They were at the last level of Muncaster, where nobody had had access for tens of years, as it seemed. The only things in the room were an empty fireplace, a large armchair placed in the middle of the room, and some books placed on the wooden floor, every here and there. Some were open, some closed, but all were very thick, and very old. Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru, the unsaid question in her eyes receiving an answer almost immediately.

"I used to come up here just before sunrise." he looked out the window, and Kagome noticed that there were no curtains to cover the clear glass. She came closer to him, and put a hand on his arm, leaning against him. The hill in sight was just the ridge the sun needed to make an entrance. Although a few scattered trees on the dead plane could be seen, Kagome imagined how amazing the sunrise must have been from up here, and how many times Sesshoumaru had to leave just before it happened. The one thing he couldn't have was the one he'd craved most. Was that not in any living creature's nature?

As the early morning sky reddened with spears from the sun, Sesshoumaru caught her shoulders and moved her to lean back against his chest, placing his arms around her body. Kagome tilted her head to one side and stood silent, looking at the stained sky. Violet ribbons traced across it like the memories of a long faded war, with massive bloodshed and cries of despair. Sesshoumaru widened his eyes. The clouds passing by slowly shone from behind with a surreal purple color, very similar to the one Kagome had released earlier. He smiled in the corner of his mouth, thinking that she really was an angel: his angel. Such a dull compliment, that he didn't dare say it to her. But it was true. The amazing things we feel sound common when we word them out, if we are not poets, or maybe even then. He was no poet, nor did he know how to say "I love you" in more ways than one. But he did know how to show it, in as many ways as anyone could think of. He only needed some time with her.

Sesshoumaru rested his chin on Kagome's head, and watched as the sun threw spears at them, almost blinding his gold eyes. He even closed them a few times, overwhelmed by the clear, bright light of dawn. He raised his face to the stunning light, and Kagome turned to look at him. She passed her fingers across his beautiful still face, and left a small trail of dried blood on his cheek. As she moved her hand to wipe it off, he opened his eyes, and looked up at the sky. Kagome stood petrified, staring at him. That look, that peaceful look… she'd seen that somewhere else. The angel from the main hallway of Muncaster. It was him. It was really him, although she'd thought that Sesshoumaru couldn't achieve that look in a million years. But, there it was now, and she could cry just by looking into his eyes. All the hope restored, all the pain he'd left behind was there, and open to her sight. She had to know.

"Who painted that angel?" Sesshoumaru smiled shallowly, not taking his eyes off the horizon.

"Kikyo." he said simply, and raised his eyebrows for a second.

"She knew. She knew she was not the one to save me, and still…"

"She knew she was to give me a great help, Sesshoumaru. That's why she stayed here with you, all that time. That's why she stayed here after her death, as well. So that she could be sure you would find me. And you did."

"I did." he said, taking in a fast breath, and looking down at her.

"I hope she can rest now." he said, and Kagome nodded.

"She will." she said, wiping the small trail of dried blood off his cheek.

"… I hope you can rest now." Kagome added, and Sesshoumaru gave her a surprised look, although the surprise was well contained within the composed mask he still wore. Kagome figured he was just not used, or comfortable with showing emotion, but that didn't mean he didn't have any. She could live with that, because she didn't want him to change… much.

Kagome stood up on her toes and put her arms around his neck, leaning her forehead against his, thankful that his head was bowed. As a side note, she said to herself that she should start to wear heels. High ones. She didn't like feeling so small, most of the times. But just now… she could live with his too.

"So are you gonna kiss me or what?" she asked, smiling childishly. Sesshoumaru was caught off guard by her sudden change in mood, and let out a short laugh.

"Am I to be the one to always kiss you? Will you not kiss me?" Kagome rolled her eyes back.

"Well, if you're gonna be like that, then…" she struggled to level with him and kissed him slowly, taking her time to deepen the kiss into a very passionate one, until she felt her entire body burning. She realized her feet weren't on the ground anymore, but Sesshoumaru was holding her up, with his arms crossed over her thighs. Their breaths were heavy and fast, as they fought to take in air between kisses. He stepped to the side a little, and pushed her back into the wall. Kagome whimpered, more due to the surprise than the pain, and crossed her legs over his waist. After a few minutes of pushing into each other, she began to tire.

"I can't stand up like this, Sesshoumaru. My legs won't hold me…" she smiled a little embarrassed. He put a hand under her butt, and held her weight, but decided the wall wasn't the most comfortable place for him either.

"And that wall is cold…" she whispered smiling, as he put her on the floor. Sesshoumaru looked positively gorgeous in the sunlight. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and soon enough she found that she couldn't take her hands off him either. She didn't care that there was just a small carpet on that floor, she sad down, and eyed him filled with promises. Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow.

"Here?" he said, and she blushed a little. Nevertheless, she nodded, and he raised both his eyebrows this time. He took his coat off and laid it aside.

"It is too cold." he turned and started a fire in few minutes. He liked the fire cracking in the fireplace while he read here at night, so even if he really didn't need the warmth before, he welcomed the light and the general atmosphere it created.

"Better." Sesshoumaru said as he turned to Kagome again. He sat down and pulled her to him, kissing her neck and her collarbone, lightly biting on her skin at times. She arched her back and moved to sit in his lap, with her legs on either side of his body. As he unbuttoned her torn shirt, he traced a line with the tip of his nose across her skin, then with his tongue, down between her breasts, and up again under her chin, scraping her with his fangs.

Kagome smiled at the thought that she wouldn't be rid of fangs for the rest of her life. Only this time, they were taiyoukai fangs. Much better. As he bit on her shoulder, she flinched and sunk her nails into his back. Her small whimpers following Sesshoumaru's bites and shallow scrapes came like an encouragement for him to continue, not as a warning to stop. Kagome took his shirt off and pressed her chest against his, welcoming the warm feeling of his skin against hers. They both smiled.

He laid her down and fingered the spot where Tokijin had made that fatal wound that he dreaded so much. It was gone now; the only thing that stood witness to it was the dried blood on her stomach. Sesshoumaru kissed the place, resting his forehead against her body for a moment, and breathing in deeply. His kissed went lower, until he reached her jeans, which he unbuttoned and pulled off without any ceremony at all. He was done with the ceremonial side of him. His hands passed over her body like he would have wanted to make sure she really was there, that she was within his grasp, that she wouldn't just fade away, and that this was all beyond imagination. She was real, and she was going to be his forever. Kagome enjoyed looking at his face, while he did whatever crossed his mind to her. As he touched her, as he kissed her, as he undressed her slowly, like he had all the time in the world to enjoy her… The expression on his face and in his eyes changed with his every movement. He was focused, astonished, overwhelmed, excited, and then focused again. They display was amazing.

She was holding his hair to one side, wondering at how long and… perfect it was. It seemed to shine now, that his body was alive again. Another clear proof of the fact that he was indeed alive was that unmistakable poking she felt between her legs when he spread them and laid down over her. Kagome let out the air in her lungs, and breathed in fast, again. She widened her eyes, as if she'd never felt anything like it before. She had no idea how it felt like for him to not be in control of his body for once, but to her it was a constant tease.

He pulled her bra off and caught her arms at either side of her body, kissing her breasts.

The fire was fighting its war in the fireplace, as Kagome as Sesshoumaru fought their own, on the rug in front of it. The sounds fairly resembled the ones coming from a fight scene. Whimpers, cries of surprise, and low growls from the chest of the taiyoukai. Making love to a full demon was definitely more that want it stated. It wasn't just the act in itself, it was the possession he had over her, he was always dominating her, Kagome tried to gain some sort of control, but he wouldn't allow it. Her hands were periodically pinned above her head, and he would growl, looking her in the eyes, as if asking her not to try it anymore, because she had no chance to succeed. His movements were soft and considerate, but didn't allow any hesitation, they didn't leave place for any doubt: he was in control. Kagome wasn't accustomed to it. She'd thought that first time was just an accident, or something that came from lust more than love, and that was why he's been so dominant. But no, Sesshoumaru-sama was the Lord ruler even in the bedroom. No matter, if he was the rock, she would be the water. Kagome promised herself that she would be on top sooner or later. Metaphorically and of course literally. Women were known to wear out men anyway…

Until then, Sesshoumaru gave her a lingering look that almost gave Kagome time to prepare for him entering her. It wasn't fast, and it wasn't rough, it just had that touch of something that he always emitted, and which stated that he owned the right to do so. Again, the possession. But Kagome rolled her eyes back as the shiver passed through her body. She didn't care who was above whom anymore. That feeling had no equal. He slowly pushed in and out, entering her gradually, until he was all in. Kagome opened her mouth to breathe and arched her back, moaning in pleasure.

He steadied her and thrusted in again and again, each time receiving small whines from her lips, the lips she was licking from time to time, making him want to bite them. The pace picked up in time, and Kagome encouraged him to thrust in faster and deeper, hitting her as he entered. Sesshoumaru didn't know if he should, though. He feared she was too fragile.

But the young woman under him had strength enough for them both as it seemed, within her eyes fire was burning, and he felt it as he went deeper inside her. It burnt him too, and as her scream clawed his mind, he felt scorched by her fire. Kagome caught his waist with her legs, and tightened their connection, pulling him as deep inside as she could. After a moment, she breathed out and her legs freed Sesshoumaru, whose body fell against her once again. She smiled widely, and he decided not to use her as a support anymore. When he pulled out of her, Kagome was left with a feeling of emptiness. But he was still there, by her side, and she would never feel him missing again. Sesshoumaru kissed her lightly on the corner of her mouth, and she passed her fingers through his hair.

"I like your stripes. They say just how different you are." she said, fingering his marks. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe if you behave I will give you some, as well." Kagome rolled her eyes back.

"I already have them, see? It's just that everyone thinks they're makeup. Figures…" Sesshoumaru looked at the thin lines on her eyelids, and thought they really did look like makeup. But he didn't say anything.

"Nah, I don't think I want you to give me something you were born with. My own are enough. I'm happy with what I have now." Kagome laughed, looking at him intently. Sesshoumaru tilted his head and almost smiled. She pouted.

"You should smile if you feel like it."

"I do not." Sesshoumaru teased her. Kagome pressed her lips together and frowned a little, pulling his shirt on. It was longer, and it didn't mean she had to wear anything else. Sesshoumaru watched as she dressed… if that could be called as such.

"Were you always so obnoxious?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Were you always this inquisitive?"

"Don't answer a question with a question! It's a ground rule of behavior!"

"It is not a ground rule of survival." he countered, his steady tone getting to her nerves. He was so annoying, even now!

"Oh, come on, I asked you a simple question. What's so difficult? Just…"

Her sentence broke into a surprised cry when he caught her wrist and pulled her towards him, catching her jaw with his other hand. Their faces were two inches close.

"I was born obnoxious, and I shall be obnoxious for the rest of my days. It is in my blood." he stated, much like a king would give an order. Kagome was a little taken aback by his tone, and she became very serious. Sesshoumaru couldn't hold back anymore, and the ghost of a smile escaped his lips. Kagome widened her eyes, and backed from his grip. She hit him in the chest and knocked him down; climbing on top of the one she knew could dominate her at any given moment. Seemingly, not this moment.

"Jerk!" she cried out, grabbing his jaw and kissing him forcefully, or so it seemed, because she pressed her lips against his like she wanted to crush his mouth. She bit on his bottom lip, but Sesshoumaru didn't flinch at her assault.

"Women should be on top too, you know." she said, straightening her back and pressing down on his chest with her hand. She passed her other hand through her hair, flipping it back. Sesshoumaru smiled and tilted his head.

"I have noticed you mortal women believe yourselves capable of being on top. Some almost succeed." he said flatly, knowing that it would start her fire. Sesshoumaru had made a wonderful discovery: Kagome was a feminist. And that could only mean one thing: more subjects to tease her about.

"You are such a misogynistic, cold hearted, pig headed…"

"… stronger than you are, BASTARD!" he continued, and Kagome laughed out her surprise.

"Yep!" she said, and bent to rest her chin on his exposed chest. As her body moved against his, they both noticed a certain desire they had to re-edit their previous action. Kagome quirked an eyebrow.

"It's either me on top or nothing." she said, blushing. He was laid under her, but still he managed to look down upon her.

"You cannot do it." he said, all high and mighty.

"Okay, I'll bet you I can." Sesshoumaru had to bite on his lips not to laugh. An orgasm was certainly something he'd never made a bet on before.

"What is it that you want from me, if you win? Although it might as well be the moon, because you will never…"

"Don't mock me, Sesshoumaru-sama…" she whispered and moved against him again. Sesshoumaru felt how his own body betrayed him, and knew he stood no chance. A great Lord should know to admit defeat when needed, right? It was strange that his defeat would come from such a person. But then again, her weapons weren't among the usual.

"I want…" Kagome started, looking into his eyes and searching for something to ask.

"I want you to turn into your youkai form tonight." Sesshoumaru blinked. He didn't expect this. But it wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Knowing Kagome, she might have asked him to do God-knows what crazy things, like howling at the moon…

"Do you lack a pet?" he asked, cuttingly. Kagome composed a defiant expression.

"I don't care what you say, you'll transform tonight. Because you, Sesshoumaru –sama… will lose." she said, and pressed against him again.

Sesshoumaru knew he would, because he wanted to. And what he wanted, he got. Every time. Even if it was disguised as a loss. So, the taiyoukai Lord lost the battle against his beautiful, strong minded lover, and got to see her body arch above him, shivering, as her full lips described the smile only he was meant to see. Yes, he lost.

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