Chapter 4 - Old Feelings & Bad Memories

Paul couldn't believe what he had heard. He felt a hand on his shoulder as he looked over and suddenly his nose was met by a flying fist. Paul stumbled back a bit from the hit, knowing a blow like that came from one of his pack brothers. But once his vision came out of the blurry side he was surprised to see Leah standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.

Gingerly touching his nose, oh yea something got broken. "What the fuck Leah?" Paul growled out as he wiped the blood from his face, knowing his accelerated healing already kicked in and healed his broken nose.

"Just what in the hell do you think you are doing Paul Lahote? You disappear for four years and alienate your family, your pack and your own imprint and then you come back like you was never gone and seem to think we should all just be happy your back. Well you can pretty much forget it." Leah snarled out. "It's been a couple of years since I last phased but I am more than willing to do it just this once to tear into your candy ass."

Embry walked over and stood behind her as he gripped her upper arms letting the power of the imprint calm her down. "I'm sure Paul has his reasons Leah. Calm down baby. I know it's upsetting, but you've not lost your temper in a long time." Embry kissed the side of her neck after pulling her back flush against his chest.

Paul almost gagged. "Did you just call her baby? What the hell has been going on since I left?"

"You would know if you hadn't run away Paul." Sam's gruff voice said from behind.

Paul's dark eyes turned to glare up at Sam as he saw Olivia's older brother staring down at him from the top of the stairs with his hands planted on his hips firmly. Paul could see him shaking slightly and knew he was close to losing control. "It's not like I didn't have a good excuse. What would you have done Sam?"

"I would've stayed. I would have stayed because the mere thought of my imprint being hurt without me around would've killed me." Sam snapped. "I would've stayed and let my family help me through it all. But not you right Paul because your pride got in the way of everything. You had to prove you didn't need anyone to lean on. So I sat around and watched my sister deal with bouts of depression while she was pregnant and then we nearly lost her when she went into labor and where were you? Not here that's for damn sure. Paul you're a selfish piece of garbage; you always have been and you always will be."

Paul growled. "That's a low blow Sam. I was only seventeen and I'd just killed a man in cold blood. I didn't see anyone else going through what I had."

Sam shook his head. "Yes and I realize the guilt is what ate away at you. But eventually you were going to get over it. As soon as you would've found out about Olivia being pregnant you would've done a complete one eighty. But you didn't even keep your connection to the pack so there was no way for you to ever know. I really hope running away like a coward was a good enough reason for baling on your imprint and son. For some reason I just don't get it."

Paul could feel his body shaking. Suddenly all the same old feelings were coming back again. It had been two years since he phased and his body was ready to pick up right where it had left off. "No one was looking at you like you were a monster. They think you're a damn God just because Jake let you have the alpha position until he was ready. You know Sam not everyone can be perfect like you."

"No one thought of you as a monster Paul. Not even Olivia. Her opinion should've matter more than anyone else's. But apparently it didn't. I can't seem to wrap my brain around my sisters reasoning for missing you and wanting you back. Any other woman who was left for four years wouldn't want shit from you. You really have no idea what kind of love and emotions are held within the human body; and not just any human body but a woman." Sam rolled his shoulders to keep himself from phasing. "And just for the record, I'm not perfect Paul. I never claimed to be. But I would've been smart enough to stay. I would've let my family, my pack and my imprint help get me through the toughest time of my life, but you weren't even here for the toughest time of her life; I guess I shouldn't expect any less than that from you…but I'm not you."

Sam turned and walked back into the house as Emily walked out and down the steps as she stopped in front of Paul. She smiled softly as she pushed up and hugged him. She couldn't help it. She was like a mother hen seeing her baby chick after a long vacation. Paul returned the hug even though he knew he deserved another yelling from Emily as much as he deserved the punch in the nose from Leah.

"Where have you been this whole time?" Emily questioned. She knew Paul couldn't and wouldn't lie to her. "We missed you so much."

Paul pulled back as he smiled slightly. "I just had to get out of here Em. Once I was gone for so long I had some real time to think. I spent the first two years in my wolf form. Which nothing for nothing I don't ever want to spend more than twenty-four hours in wolf form ever again. When I phased out I knew the time I spent away from this place was good for me even if it wasn't for the people I was hurting the most. I know it was idiotic to be gone for so long and not expect pissed off attitudes when I got back. But you have no idea what I've been doing. I knew with me being gone for so long if I was going to have a shot at getting Olivia back I was going to have to prove to her that I wouldn't be a wolf my whole life. I love my pack brothers…and sister." He sent a glare to Leah who glared right back with a low growl.

Paul shook his head. "But Em I did something I never thought I would do in a million years. I went to a trade college. I learned how to draw and measure and map. Once I graduated, I started off with working for a small company and in a few short months I became an independent contractor. I work when I want to; I work out of my home." Paul sighed heavily. "I did all of this for Olivia. To prove to her that I'm not some temperamental asshole who only lives, breathes and eats killing vampires. I have a diploma and a career something I can do my whole life anywhere I go."

Emily nodded. "Was it worth all of this Paul?"

Paul didn't even take a minute to think it over. "As long as it helps me get Olivia and able to meet a son I don't even know. Then it was worth every second."

Emily smiled. "Then that's all that matters. Go home and see your mom. She's gonna want to see her baby boy."

Paul nodded as he turned and looked at his pack brothers. He noticed Jared and Kim were standing off to the side. Jared had an indescribable look on his face; a cross between angry and sad.

Jared's gaze left Paul as he looked down at the raven haired beauty beside him. "C'mon Kim let's get home." She nodded as an answer to his question as they turned towards his pick up and he opened the driver side door and helped her up inside. Jared could feel himself shaking. He couldn't believe he actually wanted to phase and tear into his best friend; his best friend who left for four years and worried everyone.

Kim could feel the slight hum from Jared's body as it transferred through the seat of his truck. She could see his knuckles as they turned white from how tight of a grip he had on the steering wheel as they drove down the street towards home. She reached over and touched his hand. His hand let go of the wheel and took a hold of hers as his free hand went up to the wheel. He pulled her hand to his mouth and placed soft kisses on her knuckles.

Kim looked at him through worried eyes. "Jared don't let it effect to you. You've done so well the last two years. I don't ever want you in the place you were in the two years after Paul left. I know he's your best friend; practically your brother and I know when he left it caused a hurt in you that even I couldn't soothe. But I'm here and always have been and I love you so much."

Jared pulled the truck over on the side of the road as he exhaled heavily. "Would you be terribly disappointed in me if I needed to phase and go for a run?"

Kim shook her head negatively. "No, I would never be disappointed in you. I know you need to blow off some steam and I know you want to go check on Olivia and Jr. Go on; I'll take the truck home."

Jared leaned over and captured his wife's lips as he kissed her with everything he had inside of him. He pulled his shirt off and kicked his sneakers off and left them in the truck. "I'll be home in a couple of hours. I may just go tell him what I really think of him. And Kim…" She looked over at him. "I love you too." He flashed his smile at her before he turned and jogged off into the tree line; phasing as soon as he was in deep enough cover. He followed his pick up to his house to make sure Kim got there and made it inside before he turned and headed off.