Disclaimer: See first chapter
Bored one day, 6-year-old Crystal Mauriciana decides to make a list of 10 things Madam Rosmerta would never tell her customers.
1_ My Butterbeer is made from scratch, so if I have to run to the cellar to get some, don't complain.
2_ There is NEVER an excuse NOT to leave a tip for your waitress! They depend on tips for their wage.
3_ We wonder what we could possibly be doing wrong when you have a frown on your face the entire time we are "at your service".
4_ Do you think you're royalty or something? I may work magic, but I CAN'T conjure food from midair. EVER.
5_ If I am running around trying to please every one of my five or more tables at once and accidentally forget you wanted lemons, DO NOT leave a sarcastic note about it. I am stressed enough as it is.
6_ If you dare to whistle, wave, clap, yell, or snap your fingers at me, be warned. And if you are dumb enough to use a Summoning Charm: Aside from the drink or food that I was carrying now in your lap, expect an undetectable Curse or poison in your order. Believe me, it's happened before. And it WILL happen again.
7_ If you complain about the service and don't talk to me, you just might find I let the same waiter serve your table until you either come to me or never come back. It happens all the time.
8_ It takes time to cook food. I don't like using magic to do so unless it's the weekend and the students of the nearby school are here. And if you watch me as you wait, I just might cook it without magic anyway.
9_ A lot of the time we waitresses/waiters are splitting tips evenly. So if you leave $1 for your waitress you've probably actually only given her $.10-$.50 in change, depending on the day.
10_ If you order something that takes longer to prepare than what the table after you ordered, be prepared. They might get their order first; especially if you wanted yours well-done.
"Madam! Madam, look what I wrote for you!" Crystal excitedly ran up to Madam Rosmerta at the end of the evening when she had finished closing up.
Reading through the barely legible writing, the old waitress laughed. "Brilliant, Crystal! I'll copy these down and post it on the wall in the morning. It should be a good conversation piece for the customers."
Indeed it was. Customers of all ages read and laughed about the list long after Voldemort had been defeated.
Author's note: Some of these are just the way I feel as a waitress. Others are obviously specific to Harry Potter. Those other waitresses/waiters that read this, please feel free to add your own things you wish you could tell your customers at times.