A/N: This is a little thank you for all the reviews! I love you guys!

"Love yourself for who you are, but never stop growing, developing and changing." – Danielle Juarez

Chapter Thirty

Use Your Head

Scorpius lay with Lily draped over him reading a letter Albus had slipped under his door. They were lounging in post orgasmic bliss in his dorm room. Across the hall he was sure Albus and Anora were in much the same position. But he doubted it was for the same reason. Sure Al seemed to genuinely like Anora which was an improvement to Persephone who he claimed was the bane of his existence when they weren't shagging. The problem was that Scorpius had caught Albus watching Persephone whenever she was flitting thoughtlessly through the halls or the library or the Great Hall.

Sure when Anora was around all his attention was focused on her but Scorpius had to question the depth of his mate's feelings for the Head Girl. And he liked Anora. She was smart but could be a goofball when the mood struck her, she was serious about her duties even though Scorpius liked to tease her about her extra curriculars with Albus and she was respected by a majority of the student body. Truly she was the perfect Head Girl and they got along, it was more than he could have hoped for.

The only thing that complicated his relationship with the Head Girl was Lily. It seemed like she was glued to his side whenever Anora was around. The only alone time he had with Anora was before and after Prefect meetings when they worked on Head business. And then she was waiting outside. It struck him as odd because she'd never been so clingy in the past. He needed to talk to someone about it because the only thing he could think was that she was worried about him and Anora. Which was ridiculous. Anora was pretty enough but he loved Lily. No other girl could hold a candle to her for that fact alone.

Lily finished reading Albus' note and moved off his chest to the side so she could look him in the eye. "Victoire and Teddy had a girl they named Nymphadora Lupin for his mum. Apparently they named James and Kira godparents which is mental," she said.

Scorpius snorted. "How'd James and Kira take it?"

She opened the letter and read aloud. "They babbled incoherently for a bit. Kira swore and was chastised by Grand Molly who reminded her she was now in charge of the baby's moral upbringing which inspired fear in all who heard. They agreed eventually after making it clear they intended to experiment with baby products on the poor child."

Scorpius laughed and watched the look on Lily's face. She looked like she adored him. He felt his heart expand in his chest. She had to know she was it for him. She'd ruined him for all other women. For who could compare to her? "I love you, Lily," he whispered.

"I love you, Scorpi."

He snatched the letter out of her hand and tossed it on the floor. "Come here."

She blushed, an unconscious reaction that overcame her whenever he reached for her. She only blushed for him. It made her so vulnerable to him, so exposed. It was an awesome responsibility. It reminded him that he was her first lover, hopefully her only lover, and that she gave him something precious whenever she gave herself to him.

Lily crawled into his arms, her legs straddling his, and she kissed the corner of his mouth. He smiled.

Forty minutes later Scorpius closed the door to his room, fully clothed with an unconscious, exhausted Lily sprawled in his bed. He turned around to find Albus doing the exact same thing to Anora's door. They caught each other's eye and froze. Albus straightened. "I'll not ask what you were doing and you'll not ask what I was doing. Agreed?" he offered.

Scorpius imagined telling his best mate that he'd just shagged his sister to unconsciousness and shivered. "Deal." They entered the small common room. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Nothing to do with my sister, I hope."

"Actually it is but not in… that way," Scorpius added hastily.

"Is this about how she was down yesterday?" Albus asked, plopping down on the couch before the fire. Scorpius stared at his friend.

"Yesterday?" Panic brewing in the pit of his stomach. "What was wrong yesterday? Was it my mother? Did that woman upset my Lily?" he demanded.

"To be honest mate I didn't even notice. James pointed it out during dinner and asked me to talk to you about it. If James noticed there's a bloody problem, mate."

Scorpius fell into the cushion next to Albus. "Did he say what he thought it was?"

"Well, what did you want to talk about?"

"She's-Lily- has been… really clingy when Anora's around. I was worried she thought- or she's jealous or something." Al didn't bat an eye.

"Does she have anything to be jealous of?"

"No!" he shouted. "I love Lily. Anora's great but- and forgive me, mate- but she doesn't hold a candle to my Lily."

"As a brother I'm glad to hear it. On the other hand I'm really in no position to judge Anora against my sister. James said something about Lil looking down when you were taking the mickey about catching Anora and I shagging. Which only happened once, you tosser! He said she probably didn't like the thought of you seeing another bird naked. Makes sense. I don't like that you saw her naked either."

"I only saw her legs, mate, so relax. Honestly I saw more of you," he snapped.

"Well did you tell Lily what walked in on? Exactly?"

"No! Why would my girlfriend want to know I'd seen her brother shagging his girlfriend? Don't you think she'd find that disgusting?" Scorpius asked.

"There's no reason to give her details. But trust me girls just want to know when things like that happen. When you spring stories like that on your girl in public she gets either pissed or upset. James seemed to think she was upset. Apparently James dumped a story like that, about groping Janie Finnigan when they went to Hogsmeade in his fourth year, on Kira at a party and he got to sleep on the couch for a week," Albus said.

Scorpius rubbed his forehead. His life was such a bloody mess. His mother was still begging him to just duck his head and submit, his father still pretended he didn't exist and his grandfather still sent him enraged, threatening letters. His family life was far too complicated right now. On top of that he also had his school work, NEWTs coming up at the end of the year and Head duties. He just wished one aspect of his life could be easy. Scorpius certainly wasn't stupid enough to think that any relationship would or should be easy but why did it have to be so damn complicated? Everything he did he had to think about Lily.

Would reacting this way upset her? Would not doing his homework disappoint her? Would telling her about his grandfather's threats scare her?

In that respect walking in on Albus and Anora didn't seem like that big of deal. Honestly when he'd entered Anora's room to find her ankles locked around Albus' neck and his naked rump pumping- he hadn't wanted to think about it much less tell anyone (even Lily) about it. Teasing Albus about it at the hospital had been a momentary decision made because he was so happy and wanted to make his mates laugh. He hadn't thought it would be so ruddy problematic.

"Thanks, Al," Scorpius said, standing up.

"No problem, mate." He left the Head Dorms confident he wouldn't get caught or punished for roaming the halls after curfew, even though he done it right in front of the Head Boy. Well Scorpius wasn't going to do anything about it.

Scorpius went back to his room. He leaned his head against the wall and watched Lily sleep. The walls were wood paneling; a dark mahogany that cast the room in darkness save for the rays of moon light that caressed his love. She was so uninhibited with her body, so trusting. His sheet was tucked around her hips, she lay on her stomach facing away from him. All he could see was her flawless back, miles of creamy skin peeking out from the firey strains of her hair.

Scorpius banged his head against the wall. How could he be so stupid? She was something precious and he just kept upsetting her. How he could possibly think that she would be okay with him talking about a naked girl (or any naked girl, her included) he didn't know.

"Merlin, I'm an idiot," he muttered, banging his head against the wall again. The paneling split and a ring fell from the small niche the panel hid. Scorpius rubbed his head and picked up the ring thinking for a moment of what Sirius would have to say about his current situation.

"You are an idiot, but I'd blame that on the inbreeding," an unfamiliar said from behind him.

Scorpius turned slowly. There was the barely corporal form of someone who looked almost exactly like Harry Potter, but with brown eyes. Brown glaring eyes.

"Oh, like you have any right to talk, Potter," another voice snapped. Sirius appeared next to him. "As I recall the Potters were purebloods until you fell in love with Miss Evans."

"We never married cousins!"

"I'd really like to see you prove that!"

"Could you two pipe down? Lily is sleeping and no one knows I have this," Scorpius said, holding up the ring.

"Oh, Lily's sleeping?" James Potter Sr. said. "My granddaughter is sleeping in your bed? My naked granddaughter is in your bed!" Sirius got a hold on James before the spirit-man-thing could lunge at Scorpius and dragged him out of the room.

Lily's head popped up a second later and gazed blurrily up at her boyfriend. "What was that?"

He thought for a second of being honest, then of lying. Neither appealed to him. So he went for something close to the truth. "It was nothing, love. Go back to sleep." He rushed out of his room and cast a silencing charm.

James was stomping around in front of the fire place and Sirius was lounging on the couch. "In all this time, this bloody dorm hasn't changed a bit. Has it, Prongs?"

"I was Head Boy, you know that Malfoy?" James asked him.

"Yes, Harry told me," he muttered, utterly confused. "I'm sorry-"

"You ought to be!" James snapped. "My son trusts you in his home and you're taking advantage of his daughter! And making her cry left, right and center. I ought to take you back with me!"

"Bloody hell, Prong would you cool it?" Sirius demanded. "He was just doing what she wanted him to. It's the same with all Potters. Starting with you, mate."

"It's my fault that pureblood son of a Death Eater is having his way with my innocent granddaughter!"

"I don't know how much attention you've been paying to your grandchildren, but that girl is far from innocent-"

"Yes! Because he's besmirched her!" James pointed accusingly at Scorpius.

"Oh you bloody moron. You Potters are all alike. When you a get a bit stuck in your teeth you just can't let it go. You got stuck on Lily when you were eleven for Merlin's sake and never let it go no matter how much she resisted you. Your granddaughter is exactly the same way with this one," Sirius gestured in Scorpius' direction with his thumb. "She wanted to shag him and nothing was about to stop her. Face it, mate. This is your fault."

James huffed and sat down.

The room was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry, but how are two here?"

"I thought we went over this before, Scorpius," Sirius said. "It's the ring."

"I didn't mean that. I meant I barely thought about you, Sirius, but both of you are here. I was under the impression that I had to roll it in my hand three times and think about someone for them to show up."

"Well, how much does anyone actually know about dark objects?" James asked. "That stone has been missing for centuries and now you're hiding it in the wall. There's no way of knowing all the things it's capable of."

"Like the Cloak, it's probably best that it remains that way," Sirius said.

"Yeah, right… So… what brings you here?"

"You need to keep your paws off my granddaughter," James grumbled.

"That's not gonna happen, Potter and she'd be miserable if he did, so forget it, mate," Sirius asked.

"Fine," James snapped. "But so help me if you hurt her-"

"You'll what?" Sirius laughed. "Walk through him?"

"Why are you on his side? You're my best mate! You should be on my side!" James insisted.

"I feel for the kid, mate! We're basically the same bloke. Think about it. Devilishly handsome, pureblood, disowned before our seventeenth year, smarter than all those around us, irresistible to the ladies, best mates with a Potter and did I mention good looking?"

"Don't be dense, Black. You and Malfoy aren't anything alike. You know what his grandfather did to my daughter-in-law? What his father let happen to my son's friend? How his father tried to kill my son? Your family wasn't half as bad as his still is."

Scorpius backed away from James Potter until he hit the wall. Was he fooling himself? How could he possibly overcome all of that? He was about to drop the ring when a pillow went hurtling through the air and then through James' head. He turned and saw Lily (dressed in one of his shirts that covered all the necessary bits) standing with her hands on her hips glaring daggers at her grandfather. Both ghosts and Scorpius gaped at her.

"I don't know what's going on or if I'm dreaming but not even my subconscious is allowed to lump my Scorpi in with the evil acts of his family during the war. I've been thinking a lot about this. I don't think Scorpi's father is a bad man-"

"Lily-" Scorpius began.

"Hush, Scorpi! This is my dream. I don't think your father had a choice. If he wasn't like his father, if didn't fall in line what choice would he have had? He didn't have friends like you or you Sirius. He didn't have any where to go and wasn't as brave as either of you. In the middle of a war how can we fairly judge a man? Even worse when faced with the possibility of losing your child forever how rational are you going to be? I think he's hurting and hoping another baby will make it at least a little better. The only way this is going get better, Scorpi, is if you forgive your family. Not just for disowning you, but for everything. You're never going to be able to love them again if you don't forgive them for everything they've done. You'll never find peace in yourself, with yourself. And how can you give yourself entirely to me, how can you love me if you can't love yourself." She crossed her arms. "I'll be sure to tell you all of this in the morning when I wake up." With that she turned sharply and went back to his room.

"Well, there you go, Prongs," Sirius said. "I told you she loved him and wouldn't be happy without him. Honestly I'm offended, cause we're related. Everything you said about his family, is about my family too."

James clenched his jaw. "She does seem to like him."

"Oh, use your head! She loves him, your son respects him and your grandsons trust him. He's a good bloke. In spite of being a Malfoy."

Scorpius slid down the wall to the floor. The bickering between the two Marauding ghosts faded to the background, while Lily's words floated through his mind. He'd never considered the possibility that he didn't love himself but it made sense. There was a lot of self loathing in how he regarded himself and his family. The belief that the darkness of his family (perhaps not his father) was somewhere, lingering inside of his waiting to break loose was hateful and all that hate was directed inward. When he sat down with the Auror psychologist after the Boggart incident he'd never been able to explain his fear or release it. How was he to be successful as an Auror if he couldn't realize where his fear stemmed from? An insecurity. Self loathing. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. How can you achieve your goals if you don't think you deserve to? It was like all of the sudden everything was so clear. So obvious. All thanks to Lily.

"You two gotta go," he said, standing up. He had to thank her.

"What?" James

"Wait-" Sirius

He stuffed the ring into his pocket. They vanished as soon as he released the golden band. Scorpius rushed to his room, stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed with Lily. He woke her with kisses and made love to her whispering over and over again, "Thank you, thank you, thank you…"

A/N: Don't be too hard on James he is Lily's grandfather and he only wants what's best for her. Plus the Malfoy's were on the other side of a war that resulted in the death of himself and his wife. A little animosity is understandable.