CHAPTER #5

Gina regained consciousness the next morning. Her whole body ached and she couldn't talk even if she wanted to. Crockett and Trudy where by her side, she didn't look at them, just stared into space. Crockett recognized the look in her eyes, he'd seen it often during vietnam.

The bruises around her neck clearly showed Mark's hands had been intent to kill. Internal Affairs came and took pictures of Gina's neck and talked to the doctors. The doctor said that physically she'd heal in a few days, but mentally he wasn't so sure. Lt. Castillo was informed by Internal Affairs that Mark's death was due to self defense and that no charges would be placed on Gina. But she would have to go through a departmental psychological assessment, before being allowed to go back to work.

Sonny went in to see the Lieutenant. "I'm taking two weeks off starting now. I'm going to take Gina on my boat, get her away from here, so her mind can heal too."

Lt. Castillo nodded knowingly. If anyone could help Gina through this, Crockett could. He gave him a look and Sonny replied to it by saying, "I know, she can't come back until the shrink approves it."

"If Gaviria returns, you need to come in."

Sonny nodded. Before he left he also added, "Damien Whitney was probably the last one to see Mark alive before Gina."

Lt. Castillo nodded and watched Crockett go to his desk. Sonny finished up some paperwork and then called Trudy. "When you and Tubbs get Gina from the hospital, take her to my boat. Pack a few things for a two week trip."

Trudy was worried about Gina. "Sonny she just sits there and stares at nothing."

"She's strong, just needs some time." Sonny reassured Trudy.

Once he got to his boat, he maneuvered it so that he could tow the scarab behind it. Then waited for Tubbs to drop Gina off. When they arrived he advised, "I'm taking the scarab incase she wants to return for Mark's funeral."

Trudy said, "I put something black in her suitcase. Take care of her Sonny, bring her back to us."

Crockett nodded and went to help Gina on board. She wouldn't touch him. She wouldn't let Tubbs help her either. They could see she was in a fragile mental state. Crockett waived to Tubbs and Trudy, then used the sail boat motor to take them out of the marina. Once out in open water, the motor went off and the he put up the sails. Gina sat at the bow, close to Elvis, staring out at the water. It was beautiful out on the ocean, excellent sailing conditions. They headed towards the Berry Islands, in the Bahamas. Crockett knew of some uninhabited cays, with secluded beaches. It was only 250 nautical miles and with good winds, would take maybe a day or two to reach the area. The area was rich with ocean corals and great for snorkeling.

Late afternoon, Crockett lowered the main sail and just let the yacht gently travel in the direction he wanted. He got out his fishing rod and began to troll. It wasn't long before he caught a nice sized fish, which he immediately tossed at his alligator. Elvis grunted and snapped up the treat.

Sonny looked over at Gina and said, "it's been a long time since I've had a vacation."

She said nothing, didn't even look at him. He knew her mind was raw. Having to kill the person you love, whether in self defense or not, was still hard on a person. Sometimes killing was part of their job, but it still effected them none the less. Gina had been through this before, but never with someone she was so emotionally invested in. He continued to fish, first feeding Elvis and then catching their diner. After he cleaned the fish and put it in the fridge bellow, he raised the main sail and they continued on. Just as the sun was setting they arrived in the cay. Crockett set the anchor and took down the sails. He made diner and served it with two beers. Gina ate in silence, but at least she ate. Once they were finished, he took their plates below. He grabbed another beer and sat down beside Gina.

"You need to purge your soul. Talk to me Gina," Sonny encouraged.

She looked at him, but he knew she really didn't see him. At least he knew she had heard him and acknowledged his presence. That was a step forward. The calm rocking of the boat, the clean air and soft night sounds, would help her relax.

"You can have the bed to yourself." Sonny said. Then was about to get up, when she reached out and grabbed his arm. He sat back down and waited quietly.

"Why? Why did he have to get drunk?" Gina whispered, pain vibrating through her voice. "Why didn't he get pulled over when he drove home? I tried Sonny, I did, I tried to get away. I tried to make him stop, I begged him not to make me hurt him."

"I don't know why it happened the way it did. You did nothing wrong, you survived." Sonny put his arm around Gina.

She turned on him, screaming and beating with her fists against his chest, he endured. He held her, knowing this would pass. It was all finally being released. As he knew it would, she stopped struggling and began sobbing. Tears torn from her eyes, guilt and sorrow shaking her body. Her tears soaked through his shirt. Gina eventually stopped crying and stayed in his arms a while.

Gina looked at her hand, the engagement ring still on it. "Can you take it off, please Sonny, take it off."

He did as she asked, sliding the ring off her finger. He held it out to her, but she shook her head no. She couldn't touch it, acting like it would burn her skin. He put it in his pocket. Waiting for her to say what was on her mind.

"I finally find someone who not only accepted my job, but also our hours. Mark," her voice cracked on speaking his name, "he loved me, truly did. Why am I being punished? What have I done that is so wrong that no one will love me?"

Sonny's heart went out to her. He realized when he had thought she was dead, that he did love her, but maybe it was too late. "Honey, some how we all end up alone. Our job is who we are, we can't turn it off. Even when we find someone who understands us, the risk never goes away. They know that when they come into our lives. You told Mark you were a cop. He knew it. It's not on you. He made his own choices."

She nodded, but right now her depression wouldn't let her accept his death. They sat a while longer. Then Crockett said that she should get some sleep. She went below and undressed. His bed was familiar, it was like he was there beside her. That comfort of having him near, finally allowed her to sleep.

Crockett stayed up a while longer, nursing his beer. The night was calm, even though his mind wasn't. He was glad Gina had finally opened up and released all the pent up emotions. He could finally help her heal. The bruising was very noticeable, but no one was around to draw attention to it. He was cleaning up the bottles, when he heard her scream.

"Please No! Don't make me hurt you!" Gina screamed in terror, as a nightmare gripped her mind.

Sonny went below and gently shook her, "Gina wake up!"

She finally woke, clinging to him. Crying again, as she relived Mark's death. "Please Sonny, just hold me. I don't want to sleep."

His eyes held hers and Gina saw his love, his support and his understanding. She wasn't ready to accept it, but she didn't want to be alone either. He climbed into bed with her and she rested her head on his chest. He put his arm around her. They both fell asleep due to the rocking of the boat.