"Come upstairs with me."
Barney was terribly confused, tempted – and bordering on sheer, outright panic.
He stared at Ted in disbelief as he drew back, waiting for Barney's response. His heart was racing and his mouth dry as he studied Ted's face closely, trying to read the inscrutable smile on his lips. Ted's hand was warm and firm on his wrist, his thumb tracing slow circles while his other hand slid up Barney's thigh. Barney willed himself to pull away from the unfamiliar, if not unwelcome, contact; but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it – not when he'd wanted this for so long.
He hadn't allowed himself to admit it, not even to himself – not until that utterly unexpected kiss outside MacLaren's. At that moment, even through the shock and confusion and apprehension over what Ted was doing, and why – it was as if the pieces had fallen into place, and Barney suddenly understood the past few years of their friendship in a new light.
What Ted seemed to be offering now was the fulfillment of a dream he'd only just begun to admit he even had. And yet, when mingled with the emotionally brutal and sexually confusing mind games Ted had been playing for the past few weeks, it was a dream that Barney felt was too dangerous to allow himself to entertain. In fact, he'd just about decided that even friendship with Ted was too dangerous, at the moment. He'd come into MacLaren's tonight with the intention of trying to see whether or not the others were still his friends, in spite of the way he'd cut things off with Ted – only to have Ted pull this.
Oh, God… what is he trying to do to me?
"Ted… I don't… I mean…" he stammered, shaking his head slightly, trying to put together a coherent thought from the fragmented bits and pieces that filled his shell-shocked mind. "What are you doing? I mean… w-why are you doing this?"
Barney hated the tremor in his voice, hated the overwhelming sense of vulnerability he felt – but he couldn't help it.
He was so very, very scared.
Barney had spent the last four days miserable and lonely, in his own apartment, not on any business trip for GNB. He hadn't dared to come around the bar where he knew the others would be. He was too angry at Ted, too sick of his mind games, to give in to his conditions again – and yet he knew how easily Ted could turn his friends against him if he decided to do so.
And… they're the only friends I've got in the world right now. I can't… I can't lose them – and Ted knows that. And it doesn't really matter what he's done. I still don't want to lose Ted, either. For some reason, no matter how much I hate him sometimes for the crap he's pulled these past few weeks – he's got some kind of a hold on me, some kind of a pull that I can't quite get away from…
And he knows that, too.
Ted's smile faded a little with Barney's questions, and he shifted nearer across the seat, his hand on Barney's leg squeezing gently, his voice hushed and secretive. "I'm only doing what you've wanted me to do for a long time, Barney," he pointed out, a knowing look in his eyes. "Don't pretend like you haven't. I know you've wanted this. And now – I'm offering."
Barney shook his head, suspicious. "I… I don't get you, Ted. Why would you…?"
"Come on, Barney," Ted cut him off, something hard and sharp creeping into his tone, his eyes glittering with challenge. "This is your chance. Don't tell me you haven't ever wondered what it might be like."
And Barney couldn't, because he really, really had. Often. In his most private, secret fantasies that he would never have dreamed of admitting to anyone, Barney had imagined many times how his friendship with Ted might progress to something more.
He'd just never imagined that it might happen like this.
He'd never imagined that it would actually happen, at all.
Abruptly, Ted removed his hands from Barney, drawing him swiftly out of his thoughts, as Ted nudged him with his shoulder.
"Get up," he requested, his tone light and casual. "Let me out. I'm going upstairs."
Barney blinked, startled by the sudden change of pace, as he automatically obeyed, and Ted got up. Barney sat back down, but on the edge of the booth, biting his lower lip as he glanced toward the exit.
"Make up your mind," Ted advised with a disarming smile and a little shrug – but the smile swiftly faded into something cool and warning as he added, "I won't wait long."
Barney sat in the booth after Ted left, glancing uneasily between the table and the door, his fingers drumming nervously on the table as he tried to figure out what was happening here, and what options he had – though he didn't seem to have many. He didn't want to give up his friends – didn't want to give up Ted – but his instincts were screaming at him to run, as fast as he could – that whatever Ted had in mind for him would certainly be taking the unpleasant mind games to a whole new and even more unpleasant level.
You don't want to do this. Going up those stairs would be the biggest mistake of your life, Stinson. Just get up and walk out the door – and go home.
Barney lasted exactly ten minutes before he got up, walked out the door – and up the stairs to Ted's apartment. He found the door unlocked, and hesitated just a moment, drawing in a deep, shaky breath before turning the handle and walking inside.
He had barely managed to close the door behind him when he was shoved off balance, his back hitting the wall beside the door with enough force to momentarily drive the breath from his body. He gasped, but as quickly as he was able to regain his breath, it was stolen from him again by Ted's mouth, covering his in a demanding kiss. Ted's hands caught his arms, pinning him back against the wall as Ted drew back, his own voice a low, gasping whisper of triumph.
"I knew you'd come…"
The eagerness in his voice was punctuated by the desperate aggression in his kiss as he resumed it, hands roaming possessively from Barney's arms to his chest, then down to his waist, fingers sliding suggestively just beneath the waistband of his pants. Barney couldn't remember a time when he hadn't wanted just exactly this, so much – and he found himself responding, despite the warning alarms sounding in his mind. He returned Ted's kiss, his own hands drifting hesitantly away from the wall to slide around Ted and pull him closer.
Wait, wait… why? Why now? Why is he doing this?
With a supreme effort, Barney managed to break away from the kiss, his breath shallow and rapid as he turned his head away, just barely out of Ted's reach, his eyes wary and searching on Ted's face.
"What…" he gasped, shaking his head slightly, "… Ted… what are we doing? What is this? I… I can't. I can't do this if it… if it doesn't mean anything…"
Ted blinked at him in disbelief for a moment, before letting out a harsh, incredulous laugh that made Barney flinch and look away. Ted leaned in close, his voice low and cruel as he spoke softly in Barney's ear, not allowing him to escape the painful truth in his words.
"That's really something, coming from you, Barney. They only time you do this is when it doesn't mean anything."
Barney closed his eyes against the prickling burn behind them, swallowing hard. He struggled to get his protest out, his voice thick and trembling. "That's… that's not…"
"Shut up."
Ted's voice was hard with an angry, accusing edge, and Barney immediately fell silent. Ted drew back slowly, putting a couple of feet between them, and Barney fought the instinctive impulse to follow, acutely feeling the abrupt loss of contact. He pressed his palms against the wall behind him, struggling to steady himself, when every part of him felt hollow, vulnerable, trembling so hard that he felt as if he was shaking apart inside.
"I think you're forgetting yourself, Barney," Ted sneered softly, that warning edge still clear in his voice. "You don't tell me how this is going to work. I tell you. Unless, of course, you want to just walk away. There's always that option."
Logic and common sense told Barney that in that moment, that was probably the wisest option.
Barney had never been ruled by his logic or common sense.
Barney tensed, his eyes still closed, as he felt Ted move in close again, the heat of his body radiating through Barney as Ted slid one thigh between Barney's legs, one firm hand sliding up his side while the other shifted lower, resting just below his hip. Ted's voice was hushed, teasing, as he broke the taut silence that had fallen between them, his words punctuated with slow, languid kisses along the line of Barney's throat.
"Can you honestly… look at me… and tell me… that that's what you want?"
Barney bit his lower lip, not moving, his entire body taut and trembling with the conflict taking place within him. He didn't want to give in and go along with whatever Ted had planned for him tonight, didn't want to want what Ted was doing to him at all.
And yet, he really, really did.
There was a calculated cruelty about Ted's actions, a controlled seduction that made it clear to Barney that whatever was going to happen here, was going to be on Ted's terms – and that meant that in the end, it wasn't likely to be particularly pleasant for Barney. Still, what seemed to be happening – what had already happened – was so much more than Barney had ever allowed himself to hope for, that he couldn't bring himself to give up this chance, no matter what his better judgment was screaming at him.
"So?" Ted smirked as he drew back to meet Barney's heavy-lidded eyes – but his own were dark and hazy with need, as well, and his voice was husky and trembling slightly. "You going?"
Barney was silent for a long moment, soft gasps falling from his trembling, parted lips. Finally, he shook his head slowly. "No," he whispered, his answer barely audible, yet impossible to miss.
"Good." Ted's smirk softened slightly into a knowing smile, his tone soft and yet somehow unyielding as granite, sending a shiver of helpless apprehension down Barney's spine. "Get on your knees."
Barney hesitated only a moment before obeying, flinching slightly at the sound of Ted's zipper going down, his heart pounding at the touch of Ted's warm, slightly callused hand reaching down to cup his cheek and turn his face upward. Ted's eyes were dark with lust, shining with some indiscernible intensity of emotion, his voice low and hoarse as he spoke with a quiet urgency.
"Show me, Barney. Show me how far you're willing to go for me."
It wasn't the first time Barney had ever gone down on another man.
It was the first time it had ever been about anything more than sex for him.
Ted's words echoed in his mind, his challenge and his motivation as he took Ted into his mouth. Encouraged by the sharp, shuddering intake of breath that was Ted's reaction, Barney intensified his efforts, pulling out all the stops and employing every trick he'd ever learned in his brief experience with giving in this particular area – and limitless experience with receiving.
Barney felt Ted's body begin to tremble as he leaned back against the wall behind him for support, and the helpless frustration he'd felt at being pushed into this vanished, swallowed up in a heady sense of power at the knowledge that he was the one that was doing that to Ted – he was the one that was making his of-late insufferable, condescending, overpowering friend absolutely come apart under his touch.
Ted was close, Barney could feel it – but before he could complete his task, Barney felt Ted's shaking hand close around a fistful of his hair, jerking his head back forcefully. Barney yielded with a sharp little cry of pained protest, as Ted held him back, reaching down with his free hand to guide his throbbing cock as his release overcame him.
Barney had been fully prepared to swallow when it came to that point.
He had not been even remotely prepared to have Ted deliberately hold his head in place so that he couldn't pull away as he came all over Barney's face.
Barney let out an indignant yelp, struggling to pull away – but Ted's hand in his hair tightened painfully. He shook Barney slightly in warning, and Barney went still, biting back the little sound of pain that rose to his lips. Still panting with the exertion of his release, Ted crouched down in front of Barney, leaning in to kiss his mouth, hard and breathless and demanding.
Barney finally jerked his head away, glaring at Ted, his face flushed with resentful humiliation. "That was the most degrading thing that I've ever been a part of," he stated coldly, unable to hide the slight tremor in his voice.
Ted quirked an eyebrow upward skeptically, and Barney gasped in surprise as Ted's free hand slipped down to palm the front of his pants – the fabric now stretched taut over the embarrassing evidence of Barney's own arousal.
Barney felt his face flush hotter with shame as he looked away, no longer able to hold Ted's gaze. He'd committed countless filthy sex acts with countless people, so this shouldn't have been such a big deal – but it was… because it was Ted.
"And you're getting off on it," Ted observed with a soft sneer. His tone was strangely gentle, almost affectionate, as he added with a soft chuckle, "Dirty little slut."
Barney's lips parted automatically to object, but it was difficult to do so with Ted's tongue in his mouth. Barney wanted to pull away, knew that he should – but the kiss was slow and gentle, strangely intimate, and he found himself drawn in against his will, returning it before he knew it. Ted's hand in his hair was no longer painful and grasping, but gentle, caressing – and Barney found himself slipping his own arms around Ted and drawing him in closer.
Finally, when they were both a little lightheaded for lack of oxygen, Ted slowly withdrew, a soft smile on his lips. Barney tried to quell the irrational sense of hope he felt at that smile, tried to remind himself of everything else that had happened between them these past few weeks – but Ted's incongruously gentle words still struck like a dagger through his heart when they came, casual and quiet and coolly matter-of-fact.
"I'm going to take a shower now. And when I come out… I expect you to be gone."
Without another word, Ted rose to his feet and headed toward the bathroom, leaving Barney staring after him in dumbstruck, painful confusion.