Hello again! Thank you so much for the reviews! They meant a lot to me! I loved logging into my email in the morning and seeing "so-and-so added your story to story alert," "so-and-so added your story onto their favorites"-thank you so much! I'm glad you guys are enjoying it so far!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does.
Chapter Two: Getting Back Into the Routine
Some nights, I stay up cashing in all my bad luck
Some nights, I call it a draw
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights, I just wish they'd fall off
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
-"Some Nights" by Fun.
SEPTEMBER 2ND, 1976
Letter from Mum&Dad:
Dear Lily,
Your dad and I are just wondering how you are! How's the first day of class gone so far? How's Alice and Dorcas and Marlene? Any bloke caught your eye yet? (I know it's only really been a day, but you never know what happens up there!) We just wanted to know how you were, and also I'd like to point out that I am writing to you! There's nothing really new going on at home. Petunia and Vernon are still together-Tunia and I are suspecting that he might propose soon! Won't that be exciting? Your dad wanted me to say that he misses his little girl and you better write back as quickly as you can! I sent you a few of my brownies, as I know how much you love them!
Lots of love,
Mum and Dad
Bless her for sending the brownies. Of course, now I do have to hide them somewhere brilliant so Marlene doesn't get her hands into them. (Honestly, mum? Why do you have to make them taste so delicious?) She always knew when to send them-I'm not exactly sure how, but perhaps it's some motherly instinct. She always sends them around the time when something's happened where I'm really wanting something like brownies to eat. And let me tell you, her brownies knock anything else out of the park! Let it be cookies, chocolate cakes-they're perfection, the way they just melt in your mouth when you bite into them. How they're so full of chocolaty goodness and soft, gooey chocolate chips. Honest to Merlin, they're probably one of the best desserts ever! They're delicious, they're wonderful-
Oh bugger. Marlene just saw me eating one. Damn, damn, damn! Now she's going to want one, as well! To give one to her, or not to not-that is the question. And now I gave her a couple because she's my best mate-I'm just hoping she'll reward my generosity by not telling Alice and Cass what I have, or else my brownies will probably be gone by night. Now I simply have to figure out where to hide them. If I were a brownie, where would I hide? Alright. I think I'll hide them under my bed. Probably not the best hiding place in the world, because all you really need to do is lift up the bedspread and you'll see them...oh well. I'll take my chances. It's the best I can come up with at the moment.
Anyway. Enough about those devilish brownies. I'm back at Hogwarts! (Obviously.) Today's the second day, and I'm already mentally preparing myself for whatever I'm going to have to face today. Like Transfiguration. Yesterday was the first day and was hellish. I'm just assuming how fun today's going to be. Honestly, it doesn't feel like this is the first morning back at school. It feels like I didn't really even leave. Everything is so familiar; the crimson drapes hanging around the four-poster bed, the hideous rugs scattered all across the floor, the way every girls' bed is set up in a circle. It was all home, really. To me, my actual home was what was starting to feel foreign to me. I mean, I went home for the summer and I felt like an alien. (Thanks, Petunia.) Do you know how hard it is to act like you're not a witch and pretend to be a muggle? I come back to Hogwarts and it feels like heaven to be able to actually use magic again (curse being underaged) and be around all the magical things.
Anyway. There's me being sentimental. And it's only the second day back. Oh dear Merlin. I'm turning into Alice.
...
"Morning, Evans!" Potter sat next to me, grinning widely. I wonder what put him in that good of a mood. Not that I care about Potter at all...oh no...
I grunted in reply, spooning some raspberry jam onto my toast. Grabbing a knife, I smoothed it out evenly over the crisp bread. "D'you want something?" Of course he wants something. Probably the same 'something' he asks me everyday.
He shrugged. "Do I have to 'want something'," with his fingers, he made air quotations "to talk to you?"
"Normally." I gently placed my perfectly jammed toast down onto the plate. "It's either, hey Lily go out with me? or some corny pick up line. Why? Do you actually have something worthwhile to say?" I watched him wince at the word 'worthwhile'-and yet again, I felt an unfamiliar (and unwanted) guilt swirl in the pit of my stomach.
He leaned forward and grabbed a strawberry, taking a bite out of it. If he was hurt, he certainly wasn't showing it. "So I'm not allowed to sit next to you if I don't have anything to say? Sorry, I didn't know. Let me just write that into the rule book of what I'm allowed to do." His tone was sarcastic. Then he pretended to write on an invisible list with an nonexistent quill in the air. "Let's put that next to the rule, not allowed to say anything worthwhile." He flashed me a cheeky grin.
I almost smiled. Almost. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself while mentally reminding myself who I was talking to. James Potter is a prat, James Potter is a prat, James Potter is a prat..."Make sure you add in the rule not allowed to be cheery in the morning. You're too cheery."
"Really? Really? You think he's cheery?" Enter the devil himself, Sirius Black. "Oh, Merlin! She thinks you're cheery, Prongs!" He sat next to Potter, snatching the piece of toast off of his plate. "This is too good! Take this as a lesson, Lily dear, don't talk to him in the morning unless you want to get verbally abused." Now he took a big bite out of said toast.
"That's exaggerating. I'm not that bad." Potter protested, grabbing another piece of bread to replace the one that had been so rudely nicked by so-called best mate.
Well my morning certainly got more interesting.
Black snorted into his pumpkin juice. "Um, sure. I'll remind you of that next time you threaten to chop me into itty bitty pieces while I'm in the bathroom."
"That's usually because you're in there for so bloody long. It shouldn't take you that long to comb your hair."
Black scoffed. "Please. This," he gestured to his hair "doesn't come naturally. Believe it or not."
"Oh, I could believe it." I muttered under my breath. Big-Headed Prat #2 was...well, he should be raised to Big-Headed Prat #1. At least Potter doesn't spend a long time in the bathroom obsessing over his hair, of all ruddy things. Potter was enamored with his hair, that was a given, but I don't think that he spends an ungodly amount of time working on it. Come on! I was a girl and I didn't even take that long. Sometimes I wonder whether or not Sirius Black is in the right gender. He'd be a perfect girl. (And that's something that I still can't believe I wrote, and I'm never ever repeating to anyone. Oh Merlin. The disturbing images.)
I was waiting for some dramatic response, but instead he completely ignored me. "So. Prongs. I'm thinking that we might need to hold a, er, meeting soon. To discuss some marauderly things." Going off of his words, I felt like this was something that I wasn't supposed to know. Because I was the Prefect with a stick up my arse, according to Mr. Black, who had an even bigger stick up his arse. So I simply stared at a spot on the other side of the room, trying to block out their inane chatter.
"Right. Marauderly things. Speaking of which, where's Moony?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Potter look towards the doors.
Yeah. Where was Remus? He was usually never late to breakfast. That was another thing that he and I had in common; we liked punctuality. Which most of my other mates didn't like. Hence why Cass wasn't here yet, and had probably just woken up. Hence why Marlene wasn't here yet, who had probably been awake for hours but probably went to go take a walk or something. Hence why Alice, my dear, dear Alice, wasn't here. Three bets that she was still up in the girls' dorm, reading a book.
Black shrugged nonchalantly. "Who knows! Probably with Wormtail."
"Hello, mates." And that was a negative. Peter Pettigrew sat down across from me, grabbing handfuls of whatever he could manage to grasp.
"Or not," Black added.
"Or not what?" Peter repeated as he took a monstrous bite of a roll.
"We were wondering where Moony was. We thought he might be with you."
"Oh, no. He's not with me! I don't actually know where he is!" Peter said through a mouthful of food, some bits of roll coming out of his mouth.
My appetite is now ruined. I cleared my throat, uncomfortably shifting in my seat. Where the hell was Marlene? She was going to have to owe me big time for sitting here and enduring their mindless chatter. Look what you've done to me, Marlene, I'm being driven into insanity! With a groan, I rested my head on my arms which were folded on the table.
"Of course, you idiot. We know Moony's not with you! We were just-augh-just-uggh-nevermind." Black said, exasperated.
Potter chuckled. "He'll show up eventually."
After that, conversation ceased to exist. Though the room was far from quiet. When you're in the Great Hall, quietness is something that is usually never expected. If you're not actually the one doing the talking, there will always be someone in the room who will be carrying on quite an animated conversation. Sometimes, it was okay, because that meant any awkward pauses in conversations weren't so awkward. But sometimes, it wasn't okay, mostly because I had a headache and couldn't literally hear myself think. But it was always an experience eating in the Great Hall. To most people, it seemed like it became something of an everyday routine for them, mostly because they're used to all the hustle and bustle of magic. But then there's people that go through the whole summer without any of it, who usually come back with the same awe and wonder clear upon their faces like the first time they'd ever stepped foot in the hall.
There were long wooden tables that stretched the length of the room-one for each house. Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Slytherin. Then, up at the front, there was another wooden table that held all the teachers and Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster. Their presence up there swayed most from trying to get into trouble, considering most of them had eyes like hawk and sensitive hearing. People like Professor McGonagall could practically sniff out trouble-or so it seemed. (I always wonder how the Marauders' get away with as much as they do with her around!) There was always a huge variety of food scattered across the table, and sometimes ghosts decided to try and spook people and pop up from the food. The part that I loved about the Great Hall was the roof. When you looked up at the roof, it almost feels like you're somewhere else in a way. It's completely enchanted, obviously, but at dinnertime you'd see a starry night-sometimes cloudy-with a sapphire blue sky.
And now owls were flying in, packages and letters clenched tightly between their claws. This time, I knew I wasn't going to get anything. My letter from mum and dad had arrived yesterday and I hadn't actually sent a response yet. I suppose I should actually do that soon...
"Hullo, Lils!" Marlene finally slid onto the bench next to me. I lifted my head off of my arms and took a glance at her-face flushed, hair messy...
"Where have you been?"
She rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't you like you like to know, mum." She reached across me for a muffin. "You wouldn't happen to know where Cass is, would you?"
Probably sleeping. Still. "Nope."
"Odd. She wasn't in her bed this morning. Which I think is rather surprising, considering she usually sleeps right up until class is about to start." she said while buttering her muffin.
Black leaned forward on the table so he could see Marlene. "Oh, hey, beautiful! I didn't know you were here until I heard your lovely voice drifting through the air..."
Marlene's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I have a knife in my hand."
"Well. That's usually typical for buttering bread, y'know-" Black started, but Marlene cut him off.
"And I'm not afraid to use it."
If Black was wise, he probably should be running from the Great Hall. However, he didn't exactly fall into that category now, did he? Instead his eyes widened ever so slightly and he gulped loudly. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, quite contaire, monsieur. I would, especially if your hands try resting on my upper thighs again." She said sweetly, flashing him a completely innocent smile. Hmmph. Marlene innocent. That was like saying I was going to say yes to Potter's offers.
Potter chuckled under his breath, though he covered it up as a cough as soon as Black's head whipped to glare at him. "It's not funny!" Black insisted.
That only made Potter start laughing even louder. "You should've seen your face! Priceless!"
And, in spite of the fact that I was trying to take myself out of that conversation, I couldn't help but snort. Black's face had, honestly, been priceless! His mouth had been half open in shock, his eyes wide in fear-the type of fear that only darling Marlene could make someone feel (I should know; I've been under that fear many times in the past.)
Even Peter, who seemed like he, too, was trying to stay out of the conversation (or just too involved in stuffing his face, you never know...) started laughing. "Marlene really whipped you, mate!"
That seemed to snap Black out of his trance. All in one fluid movement, he jumped up from the table. "I WILL NOT BE BESTED BY A GIRL, OF ALL THINGS!"
"Oh, Pads, no need to be sexist!" Potter said lightly.
Beside me, Marlene was shaking uncontrollably with laughter. "I think his ego's taken a major hit today! Wait until everyone hears that I scared the Great Sirius Black!"
"My reputation would be ruined!" He whined.
"What reputation? Your reputation for being a first class jackass?" Peter said innocently.
Potter laughed, extending his fist across the table to bump Peter's. "Good one, Wormtail."
"I-I-why is everyone conspiring against me?" Black was still whining.
"You make it too easy!" I finally piped in. Marlene high-fived me.
Finally, Big-Headed Prat #1 sat down, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching down. A sullen expression went across his face. "Alright, alright. I know when I'm not loved. I get it."
"Oh, thank Merlin! Finally!" Marlene exclaimed in a singsong voice.
And that, that was my breakfast this morning. Exciting, huh? Can't ever say my life is boring.
...
"He's staring at you again," Cass whispered in my ear.
Dear Merlin. Did that bloke not know that some girls didn't liked to be ogled all the time? Even if he did, he was probably just ignoring it. You know, I had actually been considering maybe being his friend, because honestly? He hadn't been that bad this morning. He hadn't even asked me out. (Which was slightly surprising. Had I been dreaming? I pinched myself to make sure. Nope. Awake.) But this just wouldn't cut it. What type of decent friend stared at you the whole type? It was freaky.
I squished the valerian roots under my knife."Someday, his eyes are going to be stuck like that forever! Although, he probably wouldn't mind-" I started vehemently, but Cass cut me off.
"No. Not Potter. Him."
I looked in the direction she had pointed and frowned. Severus Snape was staring at me moodily. When he noticed that I'd caught him, instead of flushing red or looking away quickly, he continued staring at me, forcing me to hold his gaze. After a few seconds, I looked away from him. Cass was staring at him, as well, looking really annoyed.
"Won't he bloody give up?"
Did I want him to give up? "Probably not."
"I honestly don't know how you do it. If one of my 'supposed'," she used air quotations "best mates called me a bloody mudblood, I don't know what I would've done but it wouldn't have been nice."
"I don't need help from Mudbloods like her!" The words ran through my head again and I flinched. "Whatever. I don't care whatever the hell he does. It's not my concern anymore."
She shook her head, laughing. "You're incredible. You know I would have sent some Blast Ended Skrewts on him."
Well, that conjured up a funny image. Me, sending Blast-Ended Skrewts on him and him running away from them. I rolled my eyes. Finishing up with squishing the roots, I dumped them into my cauldron. "Alright. What's next?"
"Crushed snake fangs." Cass replied promptly. She leaned her arms on the counter.
I gathered up the ingredients and took to crushing them right away, reducing them to finely made dust. Perhaps I overdid it a little bit, but nothing that wouldn't hurt the potion. That is, if the potion even turned out. Potions was never one of my favorite subjects. I did pretty well in it, but most of it had been due to Sev-Snape's tutoring me. Bloody genius at Potions. Taking the fangs, I dropped them into the cauldron and stirred it. Cass said nothing else as we continued to do the potion. Everything was actually peaceful, in a strange way. All that could be heard was the low murmurs of students talking and the bubbling of the cauldron and the occasional knife cutting up ingredients. Everything was quiet, that is, until Black and Marlene started an argument right behind me.
"WILL YOU BLOODY REMOVE YOUR HAND FROM MY THIGHS?"
My head whipped around. There was Marlene-bless her-standing up with a knife clenched tightly in her hand. She looked livid. Yet again, I don't really care if this is Black's last day (I'm a horrible person) but my best advice to him was run. Run like the wind! Although, he did deserve it if he was trying to do what she'd yelled. He was almost as persistent as his best mate.
Oh Lord pity Marlene.
Cass laughed loudly, clapping her hands. "He's done for now!"
"Miss McKinnon and Mister Black, do you have anything you'd like to share with the class?" Professor Slughorn asked. Well, finally! You'd think he was deaf that he didn't hear all the mumbling and grumblings by both of them!
Black smirked, leaning back into his chair, his arms behind his head. "No, Professor. We were just having a disagreement."
"OF THE POLITE PLACES OF WHERE YOUR HANDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE!"
"You know you liked it, babe." he winked at her. She was about to explode. I wouldn't have been surprised to see steam coming from her ears and her face turning all red like in muggle cartoons.
"I WOULD RATHER THE GIANT SQUID TOUCH ME THAN YOU!"
Professor Slughorn cleared his throat. "Now, hold on, Miss McKinnon, that is not polite conversation for Potions class, m'dear-"
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU SOMEDAY, SIRIUS BLACK!" She laughed manically. "YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE AND IT'S ONLY THE SECOND DAMN DAY BACK!"
"If both of you would please take your seats and continue your potion and I'll let you off just this once-" Professor Slughorn started yet again, though to no avail. There was no stopping Marlene and Black now.
His smirk grew even wider, if that as even possible. I hadn't been aware it could get anymore cockier than it was; I stand corrected. "Oh, come off it! You like it secretly, you're just trying to get me to work harder!"
"THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK I'M DOING? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO REALIZE THAT YOU GIVE ME NIGHTMARES?"
Cass leaned towards me. "Three galleons Marley's going to stomp out of the room any second now."
Marlene stomping out of the classroom would've been a blessing from above. "You're on."
"THAT'S IT!" Professor Slughorn's voice rang throughout the classroom. "Detention for both of you for disrupting my class! Meet me at my office tonight! Now would you just sit down!"
Well, so much for me and Cass's bets. Spoil sport.
From across the room, Severus Snape was staring at me again. And when I allowed myself to actually look at him, he smiled a small smile at me-dammit, dammit, dammit. I smiled back before I could stop myself.
...
Do you know how humiliating it is to trip in front of everyone? Do you know how humiliating it is to trip in front of everyone in the corridors on the way to class? Do you know how humiliating it is to trip in front of everyone in the corridors on the way to bloody Charms and Benjy Fenwick helps you up? It's even more bloody humiliating that I couldn't actually say anything! I just sat with my fat bum on the floor, looking like an idiot with my mouth open and drool probably coming out. Of course that would happen to me. Of course. What has Lily Evans ever done to the world that's made it react so cruelly against her? Like making me trip, spill all of my books, and Benjy deciding to help me out?
It's either the world was against me, or it was trying to give me a ruddy heart attack.
And he was the perfect gentleman. As soon as I stumbled to the ground looking like a complete loon, he bent over and extended his hand to help me up. "Whoah there, Lily! Are you okay?"
No, I'm not okay. I can't breathe, all thanks to you. "Um, y-yeah. Fine. Thanks." I took his warm hand almost gingerly, as I didn't want to appear like I was too eager to grab his hand. Oh, no. That wouldn't be okay. It wouldn't be good for him to know how, exactly, he effects me.
He pulled me up. "That looked like a nasty fall." And now he was bending over to pick up my books.
Potter passed us, his eyes darting down to sweet Benjy picking my books up and me. Then, a small smile spread across his face and, with a small wave of his hand I ignored, he continued along his way with his rowdy band of mates. Remus was now with them, looking thinner then the last time I'd seen him. Eat your heart out, Potter. This is how real gentlemen behave. "You don't have to do that," I said, swooping down to aid him in gathering my books.
He waved me off. "Nah, it's fine. Whatever I can do to help you."
My face heated up. "Oh. Well. Um. Thank...thank you." Why couldn't I say something more intelligent?
"You're welcome. Here," he stood up, handing me my schoolbag that was now filled again. I took it, slinging it over my shoulder. "Now, aren't you on the way to Charms?"
How in the world did he know that? "Yes. I was."
"I'm heading that way, as well. May I walk you to class?" He asked politely.
Pinch me. I must be dreaming. I smiled shyly. "Sure. If it's not too much trouble..."
He shrugged. "Nope. It's not too much trouble to escort a pretty girl to her class." Pretty? Oh, my, you are the charmer Mr. Benjamin Fenwick!
Again, my cheeks flushed red. "It's even better for the pretty girl to be escorted by a handsome boy." I said before I could process what I was saying. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wished I hadn't said them. Honestly, this is what mum always talks to me about! Think before you speak.
He chuckled. "Why, thank you! Here, we better start heading to class." And then he extended his arm for me to take, and I gratefully took it. Needless to say, that was, perhaps, one of the best moments of my life. Lily Evans walking to class with Benjy Fenwick-who would've thought? When we finally arrived at the Charms classroom, he bent over and kiss my hand. Potter was standing at the doorway-and for a brief second, he looked completely heartbroken.
SEPTEMBER 15TH, 1976
I know, I know, I know. I haven't written for ages. But for good reason! Very, very good reason. A lot of things have happened between when I last wrote and now. Some good and some bad. The first and foremost thing I'd like to address is the fact that all my brownies are gone. Disappeared. Eaten. Needless to say, I've written to mum asking for more. Marlene, the cheeky sod, told Cass and Alice of my stash and at night they begged me to give them some. And then the night after that. And the night after that. I just couldn't say no, either! They're my best mates! They'd do the same for me. Therefore, what I thought would last me for months, turned out to last me only for a few days. I'm eagerly awaiting a new batch to come in.
The second thing is, Potter actually gave up on me! I don't know how, or why, or what possessed him to do it-but it's happened! He's no longer chasing after me! I'm a free woman! It's been quite a few days since he asked me out, and I was actually starting to get worried, wondering if he was planning something big that I should be concerned about. Alice overheard them talking and Potter admitting that he was done chasing after me. She hastened back to us quickly and told us the news! That was actually the night when all of the brownies disappeared...what, it was a cause for joyous celebration! But that's one of the more major things that's happened. There's a few other major things, as well.
1. I think Benjy Fenwick fancies me
2. Even though I just got rid of Potter, I agreed to be his friend
And, now, here's the full recollection of how those two points that I've written came to be.
...
"So did he say anything?" Alice asked, perched on her bed. I had just told everyone about how Benjy walked me to Charms and how Potter had spotted me and him walking together. I still felt slightly bad about him seeing us, though Merlin knows why. Nothing that that bloke did ever made any sense to me, nor how he makes me get so enraged at the tiniest things.
I shook my head. "No. He just kind of stared at me for a few seconds, and looked really heartbroken. Then he left..." I was debating whether I should tell them about my unwanted guilt. "I feel bad about him seeing us, though."
Cass looked like she'd just got hit in the hut with a bludger. "Why would you feel that?"
If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you now, would I? "I don't know. I just do. But that's sill of me, right?"
"'The heart wants what it wants..'" Alice quoted mysteriously, smiling deviously.
To her words, I simply rolled my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean, Alice?"
"It's supposed to mean that even though you consciously don't fancy James, you subconsciously fancy him."
Cass groaned, rolling over on her bed and shoving a pillow on top of her face. "I feel like we're in Divintion class!" She said, her words muffled by the pillow.
Alice shrugged nonchalantly. "That's just my opinion on the matter."
"I feel like you've been reading way to many romance novels. Lily," Marlene looked at me. "Stop letting her read your books! They're a bad influence!"
"I know where she keeps them!" Alice declared, giggling.
I nodded. "She does. And if I moved them somewhere else, I'd forget where I put them!"
"Well, looks like we're in a rather binding pickle!" Marlene said.
Cass finally resurfaced from her pillow. "So, Marley! What's this about you and Black I'm hearing?"
Right away, Marlene's face went from gleeful to angry. She exhaled impatiently. "He's just being a royal arse, that's all. He's got it in his mind that I'm harboring some sort of passion for him."
"'The heart wants what the heart-" Alice was stopped abruptly as Cass threw her pillow at her.
"IF YOU SAY THAT PHRASE ONE MORE BLOODY TIME..."
...
"Hey, Lily."
Using my finger to pinpoint where I'd stopped reading, I looked up to see...Benjy. Naturally. When I'm sitting here in the library, surrounded by piles of books and my hair in an incredibly messy pony. Forgetting about my reading, my hands shoot behind me to smooth out all the red hair that was sticking up.
"Oh, hullo there, Benjy...what, er, what brings you to the library?"
He shrugged, laughing softly. "Homework-what else?"
Marry me, please. "Same with me. All this Transfiguration-it makes my head swim."
"I know what you mean. Anyone who manages to get O's in Transfiguration are geniuses."
In other words, Potter and Black. How they manage to breeze through that subject...I'll never know. I never see them lift a finger to study, yet here's me; pouring over the books and taking in every single word like my life depended upon it. Apparently, though, Benjy was in the same boat as me. Another reason why we should get married. I looked back down at my books, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.
Since I didn't say anything else, he cleared his throat uncomfortably. I glanced up at him. "You can sit down, if you want. You don't have to stand."
He took my suggestion and pulled the chair away from the table. It produced a scraping sound which echoed across the quiet library. I was half-expecting Madame Pince to come around the corner, muttering about how the chair leg was out to get her. "So how are things with you and Potter?"
That, I wasn't expecting. "Um, excuse me?" What was he asking?
A small blush appeared on his cheekbones. "I meant, is he still bothering you? I know how bad it was for you last year. I was just wondering if it lessened any. I don't like seeing you uncomfortable." His blush grew.
"Well, thank you for your concern!" I said, smiling widely at him. "It's fine. I think it's only been two times since we've arrived, which I'm actually shocked at. It's only the second day back. Last year he'd asked me out ten times already."
Benjy shook his head. "Wow. He's pretty persistent."
"Unfortunately."
He laughed. After that, it fell silent. I had no idea what I was supposed to say. Should I ask what homework subject he was here for? Should I just leave it, because maybe he didn't want me to know, hence why he hand't told me, and would get embarrassed if I asked? Should I just sit here and wait for him to say something? I picked at my fingernails, biting my lip. This was awkward.
"So, I just wanted to know how you were doing." He stood up abruptly. "I'll see you around, Lily." And then, with a small wave, he was gone from the library. I had no idea what had just gone on. He came here to ask how I was doing-how I was doing with Potter-and just left. A smile grew on my face, and suddenly the Transfiguration book open on the table didn't seem as horrifying as it had been.
...
It had been a few days ago when Alice told us the news that Potter had given up on me. Finally! After five years, he became smart enough to realize that I wasn't trying to deny the fact that I was in love with him! Finally, he was leaving me alone. However, here's something that I wouldn't say to anyone. I actually...missed his attentions? I actually missed the fact that he always followed me around and tried to come up with new ways to ask me out. Somehow, it was strangely flattering how he went out of his way to get my favorite drink for lunch or give me my favorite flowers on my birthday. In a twisted way, it was sort of...sweet. Not that I was saying Potter was sweet or anything. Oh, Merlin no. But...I missed it.
Cass would say I was a bloody fool. She was almost happier than me that Potter decided to drop all pursuance of me. That girl almost dislikes him more then I dislike him. And that's saying something. Alice would again, mumble her signature phrase whenever I told her I had any other feelings about Potter then dislike. "The heart wants what the heart wants." I could quote that bloody phrase in my sleep. And Marlene, well, she's also overjoyed because that means since Potter is no longer climbing over himself to get to me, his best mate wouldn't be following suite. Which means, she wouldn't have to fight off Black's notions of her fancying him anymore.
But I still missed Potter. In a strange, strange way.
Therefore, when he approached me after Transfiguration, I was a little confused.
"Hey, Evans, can I talk to you for a second?"
Behind me, Cass glared at him. However, I ignored her. "Sure. I guess." I moved towards him and Cass followed me.
He rolled his eyes in amusement. "Alone." At Cass's sarcastic snort, his eyebrows rose. "Or is that too much to ask?" Now he's taunting her.
"No. It's fine. Dorcas," I said and now her narrowed eyes were directed at me. She hated being called by her first name. "Go find a seat at the Great Hall, yeah? Make sure you save one for me!"
"Yeah, yeah," she muttered, waving me off with her hand as she trudged in the direction of the Great Hall. I turned back to him, smiling slightly.
"She doesn't really like you, you know," I told him.
Surprisingly, he laughed. "Oh, trust me; I know. But the dislike's mutual."
Normally, I would have slapped him or made some rude remark about one of his mates, but I was too curious about why he wanted to talk to me. Was it something about Benjy? My stomach clenched in something unfamiliar, and I felt slightly sick. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
"I wanted to know if you wanted to be friends."
Pardon? I blinked in shock. "F-friends?"
"Yeah, you know, friends. Do you need me to define it?"
I shook my head. "No. I just-what brought on that? You spend five years either annoying me or trying to get me to go out with you, and now you want to be friends?" The bloke's giving me whiplash. When I'd heard that he was done chasing me, I'd expected him to ignore me for good. I hadn't expected him to approach me about being friends.
"I dunno. I just thought we'd give it a go. If you want to," he added quickly, running a hand through his hair.
"I suppose," I finally said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Can you do it?"
A puzzled expression flitted across his face. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Can you refrain from trying to ask me out? I won't be your 'friend'-" whatever that means, anyway "-if you can't."
"I'll be good." He held out his hand. "Hello, my name's James Potter. What's yours?"
I gingerly took his hand. "Lily Evans. Nice to meet you, Potter."
"Nuh-uh. Friends call friends by their first names, Lily." He over exaggerated my name to prove his point.
I rolled my eyes. "Okay. P-James." This was going to be harder then I realized. I'd spent five years of my life referring to him as Potter or the Thing. Now I was supposed to call him James. Merlin help me.
"See? Was that so hard?"
Yes. "No."
"Good. Now, I've gotta go do something so I'll see you around, Lily!" He waved at me and then turned around, quickly disappearing into the crowd.
And there I was, standing in the middle of the throngs of people, staring at my hand that-moments before-I'd shook. What had I done? I was trying to decide whether or not this decision would grow to something I'd regret, or something that-might? possibly?-turn out good. Now I had to figure out how to tell everyone. I could just hear Alice's mysterious voice. "The heart always gets what it wants." There better be a lot of pumpkin juice at the Great Hall.
So thanks for reading! You guys are legit. Like sirusly. (Punny! Did you catch that? :P) I'm sorry if it seems like I'm kinda going really fast. There's some plot lines that I can't start until I actually get everything else laid out. Or get the ball rolling, so to speak! There's some drama coming up ahead, though! SO LOOK OUT FOR THAT :D
Now, you know the drill. Read, review? Please? :)