Bardock's story

Chapter 6: Bardock's pain

Matrika's death left the saiyans who knew her angry and outraged that a promising member of their race had been torn apart by one who should've protected her. Aikon hadn't been seen anywhere on the planet since taking Matrika to the medical centre. It was just as well, many of the saiyans who knew what he had done were after his blood. Courne was the only one who was glad to never see Aikon again. As promised, she took Bardock home with her after Matrika's body was buried. She felt that if he saw his father, there wouldn't be enough strength to stop him from lashing out. But, if Courne thought Bardock would show any other signs that he was hurting, she was wrong. The young saiyan was almost completely emotionless. It was like he had become as solid as a rock. Even for a saiyan, it wasn't a good sign. He showed very little interest in eating, he barely slept and the time in between he would disappear to train alone. Tora and Tarro tried to join in with the training but Bardock would just completely ignore them. Tora was becoming more and more worried. During one training session, he and Tarro sat on the floor watching Bardock train. He had been in the air for three hours solid now. Sweat beaded his face and his chest was heaving. But there was no sign of him stopping. Tora frowned watching.

"He's gotta stop at some point." He said.

"He'll be ok," Tarro assured him, "He's been through a lot worse."

"I'm worried. Ever since Matrika died, Bardock's been like stone. It's like he's completely shut off to everyone and everything around him."

"He's just grieving."

"Tarro, in the last two weeks have you seen Bardock lash out, cry, show anything that resembles emotion?"

Tarro leaned back on his arms and went quiet as he thought carefully. His twin brother was correct, Bardock hadn't shown anything to express pain, anger or any other form of emotion. It was worrying. The twins looked up only to see Bardock start his training again.

"Also, he's pushing himself almost to the brink."

"If he keeps this up, he could…"

"Enough, Tora, there's no way. Bardock's tougher than that."

"But even the toughest saiyan has a limit."

Eventually, after another hour of training, Bardock completed his training and came back to ground. The three boys then returned home for dinner.

At the dinner table, Courne watched as her mate and her sons ate furiously, typical saiyan behaviour. However, Bardock caught her attention. He was merely picking at his food. He seemed distant. She knew why but was worried, like her sons. She too had yet to see any form of emotion from Bardock. This lack of interest in his food was another thing to be worried about. For now, though, she chose to just watch him carefully. That night, after dinner, Courne found the boys fast asleep in their beds. Tora and Tarro were sleeping in their bunk beds, Tarro on top, while Bardock slept on the floor in a sleeping bag. The twins were sound asleep, dreaming of the opponents they'd face in the future. However, Courne's attention wasn't on them, it was on Bardock. The orphaned saiyan was tossing and turning, clearly having a nightmare. As she watched him, Bane walked up behind her, seeing what she was watching. He gave a sigh when he saw Bardock thrashing.

"I'd hate to be in that kid's head right now." He commented, his voice deep and smooth.

"He shouldn't be going through this," Courne replied, "I know we saiyans have naturally violent tendencies but not to our own flesh and blood. Aikon has no idea what he's done."

Bane didn't reply. He didn't need to. He couldn't think of any saiyan that would turn on his mate and offspring like Aikon did.

"I'm worried, Bane. Bardock hasn't shown any sign that he's hurt. I know saiyans are practically emotionless but he's a child, he doesn't have the mechanism to shut his emotions off. He should at least be lashing out."

"He will eventually. There's only so long he can stay this way."

"I hope so."

After a few more seconds of thrashing, Bardock finally settled. A relieved smile appeared on Courne's face.

"He's a good kid, Matrika thought the world of him."

"She did a great job getting him this far, alone. He's stronger than first imagined; he's got some of her resourcefulness and a determined little guy."

"Aikon just couldn't see it. I just hope we can finish off what she started."

With uncertainty, Courne and Bane went to bed.

A few days later, Tora woke up a little earlier than usual, not sure why. He could hear Tarro sleeping above him and his father snoring in the next room. He opened his eyes and looked around. The house was just starting to lighten up with the rising sun. He stretched then turned to check on Bardock. Every morning, Tora would check his best friend. Each morning, Bardock would be lying on his side, facing away from Tora, hiding his face. But this morning, Tora got a shock. Bardock was nowhere to be seen. His makeshift bed on the floor was empty. Curious, Tora got to his feet. He then noticed that Bardock's armour was also missing. It didn't take a genius to work out where Bardock was. Concerned, Tora pulled on his own clothes and set off after his future comrade.

Being only children, Tora, Tarro and Bardock were not permitted to use scouters yet so finding Bardock wasn't an easy task for Tora. He had to fly to each training centre in turn then search every room. The nearest centre to his home came up empty as did the second. However, when he got to the third, he walked in to find that the lights were on. Soon, he could hear the sounds of someone training. He recognised the voice, Bardock. He carefully walked to the door of the arena and peered around it. He was greeted by an almighty roar from Bardock as the young saiyan smashed his fist at a target, which disintegrated on impact. Tora was stunned. There was so much anger, rage and pain in that roar, it was actually scary. For a few minutes, Tora watched in shock as Bardock's rage took over and he pushed himself harder and harder. Tora could feel his mouth dry and his heart race. His best friend was finally letting out his held back anger but it was not a pretty sight. This lashing out was close to destructive. At the pace Bardock was going, he was going to kill himself.

Finally, Tora couldn't take anymore. He flew in to the air as Bardock fired a volley of energy blasts at the targets.

"Bardock!" He shouted.

Suddenly, Bardock spun, grabbed Tora by his neck and raised his hand with energy ball waiting to be fired. Tora froze as Bardock glared at him with pure rage.

"B-Bardock, it's o-ok!" Tora stuttered, "I'm not go-going to hurt you."

"What are you doing here, Tora?" Bardock demanded.

"I was looking for you. Then I found you here beating yourself up."

"I'm fine!"

Roughly, Bardock pushed Tora away from him then turned his back. Tora was about to leave when he felt it. He couldn't leave Bardock like this. His best friend needed his help even if he didn't want it.

"At this pace, you'll kill yourself, Bardock."

"Like anyone would care either way"

"We care. Your mother would care."

Tora could see Bardock shaking, as if fighting to keep his emotions in check.

"What that bastard did to your mother was unforgivable," Tora said, "but it wasn't your fault, Bardock. None of this is your fault. A stubborn bastard like Aikon only cares about getting his own way, no matter what."

"She died protecting me. If I hadn't been…"

"No, Bardock. Matrika did what she had to. If it wasn't you, it would've been any other child she had."

The arena fell silent, Tora just staring at Bardock's stiff back.

Then finally, all the bottled up emotions pushed Bardock over and the young saiyan began crying. Tora watched as his friend sank down until he was sat on the floor. Bardock sat on his knees, strangled sobs echoing through the arena. When Tora landed next to him, he started pounding the ground with his clenched fists. Tora knelt by him and started rubbing his back supportively.

"It's ok, Bardock," Tora assured, "Let it out buddy."

"Why? Why did it happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Nothing, trust me, nothing."

"Mom was all I had. What am I supposed to do now she's gone?"

Tora thought for a moment.

"I don't know, Bardock, I've never been through this."

As the boys sat on the floor, they heard footsteps. Tora looked up to see his mother stood at the door. She had woken not long after Tora left and came looking for the boys when she realised they'd both gone. She sighed when she saw Bardock's breakdown. She then walked over to them.

"Your mother was determined to see that you become as strong as possible and prove that scumbag wrong," she told Bardock, "Without hurting yourself, you should carry on where she left off. Live the life she tried to give you. You'll be staying with us as long as you want so make the most of it."

Bardock looked up at Courne's sympathetic eyes. Actually, on closer look, her eyes were more like affinity, like she had been through a similar situation. Seeing how tough and solid she was, gave Bardock hope. Once the tears were dried up, the three saiyans returned home for breakfast. There would uncertain times ahead for Matrika's son.

The rest of the story will be focusing on Bardock as a young adult, assembling his first team and learning to be a leader. But the hard times aren't over yet.