The Price of Desire

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

A/N:

Chapter 10 (True Loyalty)

"Jason?" Trina found Jason standing outside of the school, leaning against wall next to the front doors. He was looking off in the distance, tears stung his eyes. She put her hand to her stomach and turned her eyes downwards. "Christy's inside cleaning her sword, your uncle's working on locking the basement door so none of the remaining gang members can get out." Jason lifted his shoulders up and Trina carefully brought her hand up. Her lips thinned as she rested her hand up on his shoulder. "But…how are you?"

"Well, I know I've had enough mind games for one day." Surely the day was only just beginning. She understood his feelings though, and hopefully, the other bad guys out there would not be as messed up as Damian was. Though, she did like the fact that he 'defended her honor', so to speak. Granted, yeah, she could have taken care of herself just fine, but she wasn't a feministic psycho that would tell off a guy for helping her out. She hated women like that, especially since those types were the ones that made people, mainly men, stay away from them. "I didn't mean to kill the guy."

"I know…but at least Damian can't hurt anyone else now. If it's any consolation, he practically killed himself." She stood next to him and put her arm around his shoulders. He turned his gaze to her as she looked up into the bluish grey skies. "It could storm today, but I don't think it would matter if it did or not. We'll deal with whatever it brings. That's the thing, whatever the situation, we can find a way through." Her brow furrowed as her eyes drifted downwards. "I don't know what it means, but I can tell you…we can't shake the past, just the present. You're probably wondering if Damian's death matters or not, killing him wouldn't bring your mom back."

"Yeah." He frowned and closed his eyes.

"Getting rid of this gang won't change whether or not all the hostages come out with mental and emotional problems. However, it will still save them. If they're dead, then getting rid of this gang will honor their memory, to avenge their souls. Just like, taking out Damian, probably restored a bit of your mom's memory."

"Maybe. I just feel like…I can't lose anyone else. I don't want to lose my uncle, Christy, or you. Back there, realizing he was involved in mom's death, it really hit me how easily it could be that I could lose the only people left in my life that mean anything to me. When he held that knife to your throat, I knew you'd be okay, but I was scared. I don't know how you felt then, all I know is, I was scared to death of losing you."

Her heart swelled and her cheeks flushed, she was definitely flattered, hearing that he was afraid of something bad happening to her. She took a deep breath and relaxed her body. "You know. I was scared too. I was scared last night, I was scared back there just now." He raised an eyebrow as she released him and started walking forward. She motioned and started walking towards the outside tables where the gang used to sit, Jason followed after and sat down with her. "I was afraid of losing all of you, even your Uncle, I mean he is the best teacher at this damn school." Jason chuckled lightly and stared down at his hands, clasped together on the table. "Most of all, I'm scared I won't make it in time. I'm scared of losing everyone, having to return to these families and telling them that their children are...that they're dead." She bowed her head and narrowed her eyes. She held her hands together and ran her thumb along her fingers. "So I understand being afraid, but like I said before, we're going to make it through this."

"Yeah."

"You know, your mom would be proud of you, I bet. I mean, think about it, you've grown a lot…you listen to your uncle, and I think that in itself is impressive. It takes some amount of discipline to listen to the ravings of a madman, right?" He closed his eyes and started to snicker. She grinned and moved her hand over his. He smiled sadly and looked over to her.

"I bet Tori would be thinking about you right now, probably wondering what the hell you're doing. What the heck are we doing…" Trina chuckled and bowed her head, slowly shaking it and closing her misty eyes.

"Honestly? Half the time I don't know what I'm doing. The things I do, the actions I make, I just…do it." She lifted her head up and stared ahead at the table in front of her. She hadn't sat at the exact table, she couldn't sit there. She imagined Tori and her friends around that table, laughing and joking about the grub truck guy. She sniffed once and let her heart sink down. "Granted I should probably think before I act. Here I am, diving into this violent gang, swearing revenge on all of them without even thinking about the ramifications. The only thing driving me…my mom, dad, and Tori's friends…but most of all…that photo."

"Tori."

"I loved her, Jason. I loved her with all my heart, and they took her." Her tears started running down her cheeks as her body began to shake. "I should have been there, should have reached her, she needed me. The one time my sister needed me, someone like me…I was too late."

"Trina…"

Her head fell to her hands and she let loose for the first time, allowing Jason to see her cry. Her body quaked with the force of the quivering earth, tears ran from her face and streamed onto her hands as her shuddering sobs filled the air. "I could have saved her. I should have saved her. Her friends don't even like me…" Jason moved his arm around her back and breathed in slowly. "So what the hell am I doing?"

"The right thing." She stopped for a brief second, her eyes still clenched and her body still. He seemed so sure, more so than she was. "We may not know what we are getting ourselves into, we may not know whether we're going to survive everything or not. We don't know if we're going to save anyone, but we're trying as hard as we can. So Tori's friends don't like you, so what, the point is…right now…you're the only thing they have to count on."

"They don't even know I'm trying to save them." She lifted her head up and carefully slid her thumb across her eyes. "Even if they did, they'd probably just say I would get myself killed before getting close to them."

"I imagine the sense of hopelessness they feel right now is pretty big. So you might have to give them that before you start cutting yourself down. You can do this. I know you can, you'll always have my support, and I'm pretty sure Christy's not leaving her best friend in the dust. My Uncle's fighting because these are his students. If we relied on the police, we'd be too late. It's dangerous what we're doing, yes, but it's the only thing we can do. Don't give up."

"I wouldn't do that." She waved her hand in the air and let out a small sigh. She really hadn't meant to start talking about her own worries. "Sorry, I didn't want to go emotional like that. Just…tell me how you're feeling right now. I mean, you seemed pretty bummed after Damian…"

"Yeah, I didn't mean to kill the guy. I know he probably had it coming, but I'm not a killer. I'm not like that."

"I know, you're a good guy Jason. You know you did right, though…It may not seem that way, but in the long run, it probably was. You didn't do it out of revenge either, right?"

"Yeah, I mean, I was angry, but…"

"Then it wasn't a revenge killing. Also, it's normal to feel guilt, that means you're human." She folded her hands over one another on the table and glanced up to the sky. As she drew in a deep breath, she thought about Jason's safety. Would he really want to do this? She moved her eyes to his and pressed her lips together. "If you would like, if you feel like you can't do this, tell me. I have absolutely no problem with you going home, somewhere safe. If I know you're safe, then I'm happy. You don't have to fight with us if you don't want to." He meshed his brow together as crease lines started forming above his eyebrows. His lips pulled back tight and he slowly shook his head. His hand moved to hers and she quickly looked down at the hands as a spark of electricity shot along her arm.

"I would follow you to the ends of the earth and back, Trina." Her cheeks started to turn a shade of red and her lips curved upwards. Just like Christy, Jason was too good to her, too true. She couldn't be happier to hear him speak those words.

"Really?"

"You know it." She closed her eyes, suddenly she felt so close to him. Could she really allow herself to bring emotions into this, though? To tear down that safety wall? Emotions would get in the way, wouldn't they? Or was it emotions that caused Jason to go after Damian? She adored teasing him, getting a rise out of him, but had she really ever thought about why?

"Jason…" She wanted to move her hand away, but couldn't bring herself to do so. She recalled Tori's statement at the dinner table the other night and laughed inwardly, but kept her expression very soft. "What, what did your father look like? I know Sikowitz is your uncle, so…" He raised an eyebrow and withdrew hand.

"I don't see what that has to do with anything, but Dad was very good looking. Really nice in a suit, from what I remember of him. Full head of hair, actually looked like Tori's friend Beck's hair. Had a very neatly trimmed mustache, very handsome appearance. Why?"

"Oh…no reason." She looked away, fighting the grin trying to come up. They had work to do, no time to rest. Then again, rest would be good. She looked up as Sikowitz and Christy started walking towards them from the building.

"Everything's sealed off," Sikowitz said with an arched eyebrow. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's just peachy…" She looked to Christy, who was sheathing her blade. "How many people are dead in there…" Christy glanced up and chuckled nervously.

"Besides Damian and the five people that he ordered to fight to the death, I'd say about three or four." Trina's jaw dropped as she counted the number in her head. Way more than she would have preferred!

"Well. Cops will have a field day with this one. Anyway guys, let's get some rest before heading out. Our next stop's going to be that Gorilla Club. We'll see if they're holding any of the hostages there, if so, free the hostages and get out. That's the game plan." Jason rose to his feet and Christy gave a brisk nod. She straightened herself and cleared her throat, pointing her hand out to Jason. "I already told Jason, and I'll give you guys the option…if anyone doesn't want to continue fighting, then please…I would feel better if you went home, or somewhere safe. I don't want anyone putting themselves in danger that they don't want to be in."

Sikowitz looked over to Christy, who crossed her arms and gave Trina an uncertain look, as though she'd suggested something so ridiculous. Jason closed his eyes and curled his lip into a smirk. "You know where I stand, Trina," he replied. "I'm not leaving and letting you have all the glory." She chuckled and smiled at him, her body started to heat up, so she quickly turned her eyes to Christy.

"If you go through Hell, I'm going with you. Best friends stick together, Trina. You're not getting rid of me that easily." Now she was moving into a state of elation. Feeling that she had these people to lean back onto, to have their support, she'd trust them with anything.

"I'm glad to hear that…and Mr. Sikowitz?" She looked at him and watched as his lips curled into a teasing smirk.

"What? You have to ask? Not only is my nephew going into this, but those people have my best students. Also, someone's got to be around to correct you when you use improper form during battle." Jason snickered and Christy laughed. Trina's eyes started to water and tears of joy slowly streamed down her cheeks. "Something wrong?"

"No. I'm just…glad. Come on, let's move." She turned away and started walking towards the van, the others followed close behind. In the distance, they could hear the police sirens closing in on the school, Sector A, was finished.

Talk to me.