I pull on the thrusters and close my eyes, pushing against the fear and weariness. Not time to be sleeping, not time for being afraid. I can't follow much longer, so weak, so close to dying I can feel its breath on me; it's eyes running all over me. Shivers coat my spine in solid dread of the waiting void. No…I will never leave her to face this dark world alone.
I grinned viciously, I actually challenged a force in the 'verse to try and stop me. But nothing happened and I laughed. I laughed long and hard, dusting off my unused laughter was like welcoming an old friend. I would've giggled on longer but something came. Something bad, very bad.
It was silver, stark and sterile. Oh no. No. No. No. They were back to finish the job. Back again to finish me off.
They called themselves justice and peace within themselves. But I knew, we knew once. The decay and death that they brought with them had destroyed people. My world included.
The Alliance, those bastards, they're just as good as my flea bitten ass.
I swerved to avoid their sensors and activated the cloaker. A fly on the wall, ghost in the machine. I was invisible.
I shut down everything but the engine and played mouse, quiet and hidden.
They thought they were so righteous, invincible to anything. They thought wrong, so wrong.
River Tam.
Someone aboard that stinking ship was thinking of my little girl. To hell with mice. Let them burn in hell for even crossing their minds across her, their tainted little heads full of nothing.
I pulled on everything in there and blew across space, putting distance between them and me. Had to get to her. Had to warn her quick like.
Buzzing, loud and cutting inside my head, like thousands of wasps stinging at once. I screamed and everything began to slide. Not good timing, not good at all. Black swished through my eyes and I struggled to keep hold.
Everything lurches back just in time, floating and swimming in empty space for a moment then I'm back. I cut the world in half with fire and blaze to my old territory. Just above my home world, Miranda.
I can get closer now, they wouldn't recognise the ship in between everybody else. They're ship looks like everybody else's, they're undercover, so no one catches them. A little ship like mine tries to tear the back and I shoot it down, no one is gonna hurt my River. No one. They pass through, all safe, all secure. Good.
They land on Miranda, in Porticula, another city just like mine, just like every other one on my old world. Everyone's dead, I can see them, they lie there and stare and are quiet, oh so quiet.
I follow Serenity down and ignore the dead. I can feel River, the dead do scare her so and I can't do anything. She knows I'm here and tries to see me. I am hiding, I don't belong.
I peer over the building and stare down at her; she's just as beautiful as when I first saw her. She shines. I don't. Simple. Ugly fuck-duck and Goddess. I laugh, it grates up through my throat and one of the men spins to my hiding place. I grit my teeth, ducking. He keeps going, dismissing the noise.
Everyone is so terrified of the sleeping dead. No one hurt, none are sick. Just dead, so dead.
I follow them with my eyes, ignoring the fear I feel inside. They find the crashed rescue ship, I remember watching it fall, I was just a kid when it hit. I was so young, no longer young, much too old now. Seen too much, felt too much. Still just a kid, same age as River, my beautiful River.
They take the tape the woman made, she saw me last, I watched the light die from her eyes, and I could feel her soul screaming even when she was dead. She didn't join the silent ones, she just screamed and faded away. Like everyone else.
Tell everybody, tell the world's what happened. Got to go to Mr Universe. River tells me in her sweet voice that I hold in me. She is so good, so pure. She will succeed. I won't let anyone hurt her. I promise the fire inside.
They meet and the captain is going to tell everybody, tell the 'verse. No respite, no mercy until justice is done. They know now, they know the truth, soon everyone will know. Good, good as the silent dead are hushed.
Crazy idea the captain has, an armada of Reavers to meet battle in the air. Bad Idea. NO. Too risky, this plan is too dangerous. But they go, they shoot and everyone follows. I stay close to the front and watch, in case anyone gets any ideas.
They fly through the cloud, the electric cloud and to the Alliance ship that makes me feel sick to the bones that hold me together. What a fright they have when every Reaver ship follows through.
Through the flames of war and down to the planet. He's dead, but not. His voice follows along in time. No one knows so I don't tell them. They need the hope.
I am a leaf on the Wind, Watch how I Soar.
The flyer dies, another ship. I hadn't seen it. I scream, no, such a waste of River's friends. Murder has never felt so right. I crash down after Serenity, my ship is damaged, I killed the ship that killed the pilot.
Everyone is rushing for blood and I follow the crowd, pulled along by the fire inside. No one would hurt her, or her friend's. I'll kill them and they all know it by the flames in my eyes.
They barricade themselves in a room, blast doors, poor Zoë. She lost her husband. He was the pilot. Such a waste of life and love.
Anger crushed me; I tore at those who surrounded me, not bothering to wait for a chance to escape. They batter at the doors and get in. The captain is not there, fighters and others are, River, Zoë, Kaylee, Simon and a man they called Jayne. I feel their fear; their anger, and I use it to saw some down.
Death and blood have never been so righteous.
I got inside, one of the last, and River cuts me down with the handle of her weapon. It knocks me down but I know she doesn't mean to hurt me; she's just caught in the fire and how hot it burns. Blood runs down my face, I feel it. She kills everyone, not me, I'm still alive and twitching, she knows, but I stay still, the others don't know. If they did they'd shoot me down.
I stay so still like one of the silent dead.
Guns and shouting, it's over, don't they know it, do they know the awful awesome truth. It is over.
Bullet to the Brainpan. Squish.
I lie there and feel her light, her pure great good. So beautiful she is. Everyone leaves. Alliance is gone, not for good, no, not for good. But for now they leave.
River glances down at me, my ugly fuck-duck face and she smiles. She kneels, everyone is staring. Jayne had his gun up and pointed but doesn't fire.
She takes my hand.
She took my hand. Her skin so soft and real against my bloody torn hands. She pulls me to my feet. My head spins a little but not that much. I stay suspended in the moment. She hugs me, I practically faint, she is holding me. I feel the tears on my face again, like when I was young, when I was real. The crew, the captain, her brother, all stare disbelieving, hating. She takes my hand once more and leads me from the room. I do not resist.
You can't make people better.
You can't fix them.
People are who they are.
The captain follows River, the crew follows him. They shout, they yell, they argue. No one kills me.
Good sign I guess.
River never lets go of my hand. We go to the ship. Together. She smiles at me when I do, she laughs when I say something funny, and she holds my hand
I love her so much, she's better than I was dreaming.
The ship is huge compared to my stuffy little one. There's even showers, real working water showers. I ask her if I can wash the blood and grime off and she nods, leaving me to it.
I strip off the tattered shorts and jacket and jump under the running water. It feels so good, so clean. It hurts when the water runs through my scars but I disregard the pain.
It feels so good to be clean again.