Authors note – I'm a sap and couldn't help but post this, hope you guys like it! Keep reviewing! A happy author updates more often if fed reviews! xx

Chapter 5 – Apologies and Promises

Naya's POV

Dear Heather..

No, too formal, feels like I'm writing to one of those damn advice columnists.

Hey Heather..

Ugh, Naya this isn't a text message, what's wrong with you? Just take a breath; this can't be that hard, I just need to pretend like she's right here listening to me.

HeMo,

The first word that comes to mind when writing to you is the word sorry. Such a small word but it holds great meaning to me, in regards to us. Here are just a few things that I'm sorry for. I'm sorry for this letter, because you know I'm not very good at vocalizing my feelings, I'm sorry that I waited so long to tell you how I feel and I'm sorry that I'm not even remotely good enough for you. Heather, you're an angel. I can't think of one thing that I'd change about you, you can make the saddest person in the world smile and you change the mood of a room simply by walking into it. I've been in awe of you since day one, no.. strike that. I've been in love with you since day one. I regret a lot of things in my life but my one great regret is not telling you how I felt until now. I'm the reason why everything got so fucked up between us and I'm so sorry.

I should tell you that when we first met on set and you hugged me, I felt my heart swell. There you were, this beautiful girl, who was the equivalent of sunshine embodied and you picked me out of everyone to get to know. I put on a good show with other people, you know that. I gain the attention of a room without really putting myself out there and that's something I've perfected over the years. I know how to make people think they're close to me without actually letting them in. With you, everything was different. I wanted to know everything about you; I wanted to know about your family, what made you happy and sad and what you wanted to do with life. I also wanted to share the same with you, I wanted to pour my soul into you and let you know the real me.

When you first told me about your dad I wanted to punch someone. I hated myself for not knowing you while you were going through that awful time, I would have been there for you through the whole thing. I would have held your hand and I would have made sure that you didn't feel alone. Losing someone to cancer is hard enough but to feel like you're all alone in the world? No one deserves that, especially not someone as pure hearted as you.

Over time, my feelings began to overwhelm me and I found it harder and harder to be around you without having some sort of physical contact. Luckily everyone accepted our odd closeness and brushed it off as if it were nothing. It was normal for us to be holding hands or linking pinkies when we walked around set, it just came naturally. Then, one day when I apparently couldn't help myself any longer I kissed you. Though, quite frankly I refuse to take all the blame for that. Feeling your hand stroking my back in the duets scene wasn't something I was expecting and kissing you just felt right. I don't regret it, not even for a second. That day, despite what you probably believe, was the best day of my life.

Then, that night when we were watching that stupid British movie and I got to cuddle with you, I felt like my heart was literally overflowing. It was the first time that we really cuddled and I still can't believe I was ballsy enough to throw myself on you like that. I guess I figured I couldn't do much more harm after the kiss. Boy was I wrong. For the remainder of the movie I focused on your breathing. I noticed that whenever I moved or when I leaned into you with a little more pressure, you heart would start to race. I'm sorry I didn't show it but Heather; I was beaming on the inside. I thought maybe you we're feeling the same way as me and so when the movie ended I had to kiss you. Just on the cheek this time, I didn't want to push my luck. When I thought my day couldn't get any better, you leaned down and kissed me. H, just thinking about that moment gives me butterflies. It was and probably always will be my favorite kiss because in that moment, right then everything was perfect. We spent the night together and falling asleep in your arms was more than I could ask for. I never knew letting someone into my heart could feel so good, I didn't feel exposed like I thought I would, I felt protected and safe from the world.

Side note: I have a confession to make; I need you to know that I haven't slept with anyone other than you, since that night. I know I always talk a big game about how sex just is something people do to make each other feel good but I only said that because I was scared of what it was doing to me. Sex isn't just sex with you, it's more than that. Its love, pure and stripped down, exposed to the core, love. And I wouldn't want it any other way. The thought of you sharing that part of yourself with someone else makes my heart sink. I never want anyone to have you in that way. I want to be it for you.

Here comes the part of our story where I become an asshole. I don't want to relive all the stupid things I've done but I do want you to know why I did them. I didn't distance myself from you because I didn't love you or because I was scared of you, I did it because I didn't want you to have to deal with the repercussions of being with me. I know we never really even talked about being together, but honestly Heather, I don't know what else to call it. What we were doing was so much more than friendship.

I couldn't stand the thought of the press hounding you, I didn't want people to treat you differently or have any negative connotation associated with your name. I know you're tough and I know society is getting better about all of those things but we're not there yet. It's still not accepted and there was no way in hell I was going to let anything get in the way of your career, especially me. I still feel this way now but the only difference is that I can't stand being away from you and the thought that us not being together may be hurting you just as badly? Well that just kills me. I'll protect you as best as I can baby, I promise but I'll do it right this time. I'll do it while I love you.

I find it hard to believe that no one noticed that we were avoiding each other all that time, cancelling plans or not showing up at events should have been a sign that something was wrong. We are actors after all so I suppose only we would see the change. It's not like we avoided each other on set, just any other time. I missed you so much. I missed your mom and you sister and even Ashley. Being away from you was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and after getting to be near you again over the tour, I don't think I can be without you. Especially now, after what happened earlier. It brought back all of those old memories and my heart reopened. You're like a drug to me HeMo, I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore

You know that song "If you're not the one" by Daniel Beddingfield? If you don't, listen to it because that's an exact summary of my love for you. Heather, you're my world. You're everything that matters to me and I can't waste another day of being without you. I love you with my whole heart and I can't imagine being with anyone else. You bring sunshine into my life and you're the purest person I've ever known. I promise you that I'll make you happy, I promise to guard your heart and keep it safe. Heather I hope you can forgive me for all the stupid things I've done in the past and I'll leave you with this. Heather Elizabeth Morris, if you'll have me… In the words of Brittany S Pierce " I'm so yours, proudly so."

Love,

Naya

Authors POV

Naya folded her three page letter up and kissed the front of it, leaving a lipstick stain on the front. She turned off her overhead light and glanced over at Heather. The blonde had obviously finished writing a while ago because her light was off and she was deep in sleep. Naya contemplated waking her but couldn't bring herself to do it. She figured the blonde needed her rest, if they were going to be spending two full weeks together they both needed to steal as much sleep as possible before they headed out. Lord knows they wouldn't be getting much rest on the island. With that thought playing through Naya's head she tucked her letter into her coat and leaned her seat back to try and get some sleep. Tomorrow's a new day, she thought to herself as she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.