You've been waiting and I have provided! I know you're expecting some grand ending here, but nope, just another chapter. I am terribly sorry it's been so long, my lovelies, but I've been going through some emotional problems lately, including a lot of self-doubt over my writing abilities. But without further ado, here ya go, if anyone's still reading.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, all credit to the beauteous Cassandra Clare (Clockwork Prince was awesome, wasn't it?)
Chapter: Belle
"Will, where are you taking me?" Belle asked, annoyed. It was almost a full day since she had seen Will at dinner the night before, when Charlotte shyly announced to them all that she was pregnant. It had lifted everyone's mood, particularly Henry's– he hadn't known, apparently, and hadn't stopped grinning since he found out– and everyone else shared in the miracle that was new life. Everyone, of course, but Will, who only managed a brief congratulations, otherwise sitting in stony silence– most unusual, they all agreed.
Now, the next day, he still wouldn't say a thing. He popped in to tell Belle she had to come with him, and that was that. He wouldn't explain why, or whether anyone else (particularly Jem) knew, or even where they were going. Belle knew they were going up and up and up, higher than she had ever been in the Institute, but beyond that… nothing.
"Will," she stressed, stopping dead and refusing to move, even as he tugged on her arm. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me where we're going!"
"By the Angel, you're obstinate," he swore, rounding on her. "Don't you trust me, dearest Belle?" The mockery in his voice was clear.
"No, actually, I don't trust you. Jem does, but you know what? You've not given me a reason to. For all I know you're going to kill me on the roof. Quite frankly I don't want to be here, my sombres ange."
"Dark angel, eh? No, I'm not going to kill you. You've done that on your own, haven't you? I couldn't take you out before your big show."
Belle was so surprised she let Will tug her up one more flight of stairs to, as she almost suspected, the roof. It was fairly warm, but the breeze slipped through her clothes and made her shiver. "Why are you being cruel?"
"Me? Why am I being cruel?"
"Yeah, you! You drag me up here out of nowhere with no warning, I haven't even got a coat, and you're verbally abusing me! What did I do to you?"
He bore into her eyes with his own dark ones. "Well, you've just about ruined my life, but beyond that…"
"Ruined your… what the hell are you on about?" she asked irritably.
"Do you understand what you've done?" he asked in a slow, dangerous voice. "Have you any idea what this is going to do to him? Yes, it's all very sad that Romeo and Juliet are being parted, but you've done him no favors."
"Saving his life isn't a favor?"
"Not to him it's not. He's dealing with his illness, and maybe the rest of us aren't, but it's not up to us to decide how he lives or dies! It's not about you, it was never about you, I don't care if you want him to live, it's not your call!"
"Do you hear yourself?" she shouted. "Do you want him to die?"
"No!" he yelled back. "But that's not up to me! He asked me to stop looking for a cure, so I did! You think I was happy about that? No! I wasn't! But what he wants is the most important thing! What is he going to do after you die?"
Belle swallowed, not expecting Will to be so blunt about it. "He can live the life he wants. He's a brilliant Shadowhunter, so he can go on doing that. He can marry, have children, get to a respectable age and die with his friends and family around him. The way it should be."
"Move on, eh? Are you actually an idiot? He loves you, all right? He loves you, you, okay? You don't just move on from loving someone! He's going to be incredibly guilty over this, he's going to blame himself for you doing this, he's going to go over every conversation the two of you ever had and wonder if it was something he did or said that convinced you. He will never forgive himself," Will finished in a growl. "And I can't believe you're going to do it anyway."
"I can't very well get out of it, can I?" She tangled her hands in her black curls. "Besides, you were grateful the other night, weren't you? You thanked me!"
"I hadn't thought it through, all I knew was that my best friend was going to live, and yes, I was selfish for a bit!"
She shook her head. "Magnus said–"
"Magnus," Will scoffed. "Did he tell you I offered to take your place?"
Belle looked up at him, confusion etched on her face. "The hell? Why would you do that? If you were so selfishly pleased that you would have more years with your best friend, why would you want to give that up?"
"You're bloody oblivious, aren't you? And Jem thinks you're clever. I'll have to enlighten him on the subject. The first tidbit of information I seized was not that Jem would live but rather you would die. That's what came to mind when I offered to take your place." He turned away, scowling.
Belle scuffed her feet shakily, resting her hand on Will's shoulder. He shook it off, his frown deepening. "Will," she breathed. "What do you mean?"
"Does it need saying?" he muttered.
She hesitated, then shook her head. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I never wanted this, any of it."
"Maybe it would have been better if faeries stayed out of the affairs of Shadowhunters, in the future."
She sucked it a breath. "I can't believe you would say something like that. Did you really bring me up here to berate me for something that can't me changed?"
"I'm berating you for not considering the consequences of what you did. I know I can't change a damn thing, which is the most awful thing of all. And no, I actually brought you up here to celebrate your birthday, but the berating sounds more fun right now." He let a tiny smile come onto his face, but rather than being reassured, Belle was slightly frightened.
"It's not my birthday."
"Yes, but your birthday falls on an unfortunate date, don't you think?"
Belle counted the days in her head and conceded. "This is certainly one fun party, then. You're miserable, I'm miserable, there's only the two of us, it's freezing up here, and it's almost dark." She pointed to the London skyline, which was rapidly fading from grey to palest pink.
Will snapped to attention immediately, swearing under his breath. "I didn't mean for this to last so long. Follow me."
"Excuse me? No."
He looked her dead in the eye. "Follow me," he repeated, and something in his voice reminded Belle that she was talking to a highly dangerous killer. She went after him as he skirted the edge of the roof, following a maze-like series of turns– who knew there were so many things to keep the roof from being flat?– until they reached Will's destination.
It was a garden. She didn't know if he had planted it, or if it had been there for a while, but everywhere there were plants in jars, pots, and various other odd containers. Some she recognized, like huge pink day lilies and tiny daffodils, but others, like a spiky blue thing with petals like peacock feathers, she didn't know the name of. Perhaps they were grown only in Idris?
"Oh, Will," she breathed. "How did… How did you know?"
"Jem," he said gruffly, as though embarrassed. "Both of us missed green things when we came to London, so we climbed to the roof one day a few years ago to survey the city and found this place. He told me you hated it here."
"I don't hate it," she corrected, examining a tiny blue blossom with what looked like gold runes etched on it. "All right, maybe I hate it. I don't hate being here, I quite enjoy your company, I just hate London."
"You enjoy my company, do you?"
"I meant the collective 'you,'" she said, rolling her eyes. "Jem and Charlotte and the like."
"So you don't enjoy my company, is that it?"
"You're impossible. I don't mind you most of the time, and there are moments when I think you're actually, I dunno, human, but then you go shouting at me and I don't know…"
Will shrugged, the line of his jaw hard and tight. "You shouldn't like me, anyway, though better me than him."
Belle swallowed. "Are you telling me how selfish you are?"
He blinked in surprise. "No, I think that goes without saying. You're not good enough for him, that's what I mean. Not nearly good enough. But that's not a big deal. I'm not good enough for him, either. No one is. Jem, you see, is perfect, or near enough to it, whereas my depravity knows no bounds and you…"
"What about me?" she demanded, offended. "I may not be perfect, but I love him. Isn't that enough?"
"Not enough to respect his wishes, apparently," Will remarked off handedly, as though commenting on the weather. He rested his arms on the metal railing encircling the roof and looked out at the skyline. "He can do so much better than a Downworlder who acts like a mundane but gallivants with Shadowhunters, a girl with as many morals as myself, a girl–"
"That his best friend loves?" she finished bitterly.
He spun around and fixed his gaze on her, sharp and sudden. His eyes frightened her more than anything else, hard and blazing and furious. "Never," he warned, "say that again, or there will be consequences."
"What can you do to me that won't be worse in a week? You need me, you said it yourself. You need me to die for him, because no matter what, you need him and love him more than anyone else, even yourself. He's always going to be first. It's not about me, you said that too. It's about Jem." Her voice was soft, understanding, as she sunk to the ground and buried her nose in an enormous red rose. "Well, I will disobey his wishes if it means saving his life."
"Admirable, if idiotic," Will sighed, visibly relaxing.
Belle cocked her head. "You are an interesting one, aren't you? Just a million ups and downs, more mood swings than most teenage girls, and somehow you've developed feelings for me. Why?"
"You're witty. You're brave, and your heart's in the right place." He cast his eyes away from her. "Jem sees merit in you where others might not, which he does for me as well. I suppose you remind me of myself."
"Most decidedly not a compliment, I'm guessing." She was silent for a moment. "If you do care, why are you so often cruel? Why are you always cross with me?"
"You're infuriating as well as lovely, I'm sure someone's told you that. Besides, being cruel is easier than being nice."
She nodded and opened her mouth to say something before Will interrupted. "Look up!"
She did, surprised and confused, but only saw the sky. "What am I looking at? There's nothing there."
"The sunset, isn't that something?" It was something. With the absence of London's usual clouds, the sky exploded a thousand shades of pink, orange, yellow, and even some purple. It was like someone had thrown a million colors of paint onto a blank canvas, and the effect, while overwhelming, was incredibly beautiful. "C'mere, this is the best way to see it all."
Will collapsed in a sprawl, lying on his back to look up at the sky. Belle mirrored him and agreed that it was the best way to get a full view of the thing. Still, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get it all in at once. "When I need to think, I come up here," he mumbled, and she could see why. It was lovely and tragic, the view you might not ever see again, something so perfect that couldn't possibly last. She could see how that would appeal to poetic Will.
They watched in silence as the horizon began to dim until the whole sky was a deep cobalt. The same rich blue, in fact, as…
She turned her head to tell Will that the sky was the exact shade of the night sky in Hell, of his eyes, but he turned at the same moment and somehow their lips were pressed together. At first they were frozen in surprise, but he recovered quickly, closed his eyes and cupped the back of her neck. She parted her lips and kissed back, drunk with the aftermath of the sunset in her mind and the scent of foreign flowers heavy in the air.
After a few minutes, something changed and they pulled apart. Belle was breathing hard, guilt starting to seep into her veins, slowly at first because she wasn't quite processing what had just happened.
Will, meanwhile, had his eyes still closed and a lazy smile on his lips, which were swollen and pink. "You know, when Gideon Lightwood called you a whore, he might have been right," he murmured, so quietly he mightn't have said it at all. As it was…
"You son of a bitch," Belle spat, hating herself as much as she hated him. She jumped up and ran, winding through the labyrinthine roof until she found the door to bring her back downstairs. When she reached the attic, she found Jessamine, looking bored as usual.
"Oh, good," she intoned. "If you've finished mooning about with Will on the roof, you might tell him to come down. Charlotte's been simply frantic looking for him since Jem fell ill. She sent me of all people up here to tell him, but now you're here and I needn't go up at all."
The only two words that registered with the dark-haired girl were Jem and ill. "Jem's ill? Is he all right?"
The blonde waved her hand in annoyance. "I don't know, nor do I particularly care. Just tell Will, won't you?"
"Tell him yourself," she called, racing down what seemed like endless flights of stairs, heart pounding. One more week, she prayed. One more week, Jem. Just hold on.
Chapter: Will
"Will! Will Herondale!" Will's eyes snapped open. He recognized the voice immediately, he couldn't help it, but why would they of all people…?
"Jessie?" he called back experimentally.
"William, I don't have time for this! It's cold and I'm not inclined to stand on the roof for hours on end! Just get back here." There was an odd urgency in her voice that spurred Will to motion, because Jessie was never urgent about anything. He flew soundlessly to her side in seconds, weaving around oddly shaped things that seemed to have no purpose but to be in his way.
"Jessie, what's the matter?"
She picked at her fingernail. "It's Jem, Charlotte says go to him or some such nonsense."
Will stared at her for a long second, her brown eyes fixed uninterestedly on his cobalt ones, before bolting downstairs. He jumped down several flights of stairs, wincing a bit as his feet tried to absorb the shock of landing. He made it to Jem's room in record time, but Belle was already there, sitting at his bedside.
"Get out of the way," he snapped, leaning over to check Jem's breathing, if he was coughing, his pulse, the paleness of his skin, a thousand little things no one else could do for him. When satisfied he was alive, at least for now, he turned to Belle. "Now get out."
"Get out? No!"
"There is nothing more you can do for him, so get out."
She rose, fury on every line of her face, and leaned toward Will so she could whisper, trying not to wake Jem. "I can't believe you dare to order me around after what you did on the roof," she hissed, emerald eyes narrowed. She turned to leave, but Will grabbed her arm and pulled her close again, a vicious grin on his face.
"You chide me for my actions, but remember this: you are a ring away from being his betrothed, whereas I am well-known to be amoral and impulsive."
"And I was under the spell of beautiful things and kindness, whereas you are supposed to love him more than anything." She stormed out, leaving Will feeling drained. There she was, being infuriating again.
Jem's eyes opened slowly. "W-Will?" he stammered in a soft, hoarse voice. Immediately Will threw himself into the chair by his bed and leaned in. "I'm here, James. I'm here."
"She told me what you did," he mumbled, his eyelids slipping down as though he fought to stay awake.
His blood ran cold. "James, I swear, I didn't– It was an accident–"
"I very much doubt that."
"Bloody hell, I always screw things up, don't I? I wish I had been here, I never wanted you to be ill without me here to help you…"
"Sometimes I think you need me to be ill. You need to be needed. Besides, you were quite occupied, I believe, if Belle was telling the truth." There was a catch in his voice.
"She probably was. Oh, Angel, what have I done?"
"Don't worry. I'm sure you made her feel better. I just wish you had told me beforehand, I would have…"
Will's heart ached, physically ached. He had done something awful and Jem was forgiving him. He should have been relieved, but he just felt worse. "This wasn't supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I never wanted it to be like this… I never thought…"
"I declare, you are just too dramatic. I'm sure it was lovely, before I interrupted like this."
"Interrupted? James…"
"Was I right?"
He sighed. "It was a fine kiss, just short, and I never…" He trailed off as Jem's eyes snapped completely open, wide in shock and horror.
"What kiss?"
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