Reviews appreciated and welcomed

Jaguar XK

Chapter 2

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Absolutely," G said, slurring his speech while climbing into the driver's seat of his Jaguar XK.

"Yes, only if you want your hide sitting in jail over night." Sam climbed into the passenger's seat.

"No adventure."

"Didn't say that, but your speech is altered."

"And yours isn't much better."

"Agreed."

"Placating me?"

Sam sighed. "Start it before I change my mind." He lifted the tequila off the floorboard.

G revved the engine louder than he would on an ops. He peeled out of the driveway, tires squealing. "Leave some for me."

"Show off." He wrapped the paper bag around the tequila and took a few swigs. Sam handed the bottle over to his partner. "So this is what it feels like to go 'Lone Wolf.'" He chuckled and reclined his seat.

"What?" G handed his partner back the tequila.

"I'd say this is—" Sam grabbed the sissy bar and held on tight. "What the hell are you doing, man?" He repositioned his seat upright.

"Driving drunk."

"Be careful."

"I'm trying but alcohol and driving don't mix."

"They never do." Sam chuckled.

"What so funny?"

"You and what you said about Granger."

"Which part?"

"After you woke up while lying next to me."

"You know your back was more comfortable than the hard floor." G winked at his partner.

"I told you not to got there again."

He swerved hard right, racing onto the PCH. "Now comes the fun."

Sam leaned over and eyed the speedometer. "Make sure there's no cops behind you."

"How about beside me?"

"Smart ass."

"Thought so too." The left corner of G's mouth turned upward. He pressed the gas pedal to the floorboard. "Check the rearview mirror."

Instead of scanning behind him in the mirror, he glanced over his left shoulder. "We're in trouble."

"I looked before I decided to have some fun." He swerved hard to his left and then changed lanes again.

"And you saw what—" Sam grabbed the sissy bar again and tightened his grip. "At least keep it on two wheels."

"Which two?" G chuckled.

"Funny guy."

"Funny, inebriated guy."

"I stand corrected."

"You sit corrected."

"Remember when you got doppelgänged up on this highway."

"Don't remind me," G said, glancing in his review mirror to be certain they had lost their police escort.

"Are they gone?"

He pressed the gas pedal to the floorboard again and watched the police escort shrink from his view. "They are now."

Sam leaned over the center console. "Should be, you're going well over the speed limit."

"Back seat, no make that, front seat driver." G winked at his partner and chuckled.

"And where are you taking us?"

"Up the coast a ways."

Sam took a long swig of the expensive tequila. "Sounds like an adventure."

"And you love adventures," G said. "Save me some."

He handed the bottle over to his partner. "Drink the rest."

He grabbed the bottle and yelled.

"Give me the bottle quick!" Sam confiscated the bottle from his partner.

G completed a series of expert maneuvers through a police road block.

"Not good, man, we're in deep—"

"Only if we get caught."

"What do you mean?" Sam said. "They now have our license number, make of car, year—"

"Name, rank and serial number." He chuckled.

"G, this isn't funny."

"It is to me," he said, "we've undercover agents, remember."

"Yes, drunk undercover agents who are now eluding the police."

"Oh well, nobody's perfect." G winked at his partner again.

"I hear a sound you're not gonna like."

"The sound of your plumbing backing up?" He chuckled.

"Can't you be serious?"

"Nope, having too much fun with you."

"Helicopter, G, okay, not one."

"Not one helicopter, that's good."

"G!"

"Hey, I was having fun with you."

"This is serious."

"Yes, serious fun." G pressed the gas pedal to the floorboard again. "Looks as if we got that police escort again."

"I think we should seriously think about pulling over," Sam said.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"You're ruining my fun." G weaved in and out of traffic, keeping well ahead of their escort service. "This isn't the exactly the kind of escort service we should have following us."

"What?"

G chuckled.

"I don't think this is—"

"'Pull your vehicle over to the curb. I repeat, pull your vehicle over to the curb.'"

"Talking helicopters."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm drunk, man, completely out of my gourd, because I just heard a talking helicopter," G said. "Tell me I'm not hearing things."

"Pull over to the curb before they start firing on us."

"Our escort service has guns?"

"What are you talking about, man?"

"The escort service."

"G, they are our police escort, the one you've tried numerous E & E maneuvers on for the past 30 minutes."

"Now you are worrying me."

"I'm serious."

"Too serious," he said. "I'm hallucinating and you are telling me the police are escorting us somewhere."

"G, pull over, now," Sam said. "If you don't I'll knock you out."

"You'd knock your partner out?"

"To save your ass I would."

"With what?"

"Come on, G, just pull over before I conk you out with this tequila bottle."

"You'd hit me in the head with that?"

"'Pull over to the curb. This is your last chance.'"

"You know what that means."

"Speed up."

"G!"

"Okay, I guess I'd better pull over because I just heard the helicopter talk again and my head is starting to pound and I'm feeling a little queasy and—"

"Would you just shut up and pull over."

G rolled down the window and vomited. He pulled over to the center divider and turned off the Jaguar XK's engine. "Guess we'd better wait for instructions." He watched as ten police cruisers surrounded them on all sides, closing off the PCH to all traffic. "I think this escort service is over the top."

"G, they are cops, not an escort service," Sam said. "I don't know what you've been drinking."

"Same as you."

"Remember not to imbibe in tequila again."

"Why?"

"I think you are sensitive to the worm."

"What worm?"

"You really have gone where no undercover agent's gone before, Lone Wolf on tequila."

"Now there's a new way to go Lone Wolf." He rolled down his window all the way. Sam followed suit.

Two officers approached the car, weapons drawn. They split up their team and each took a side of the car. "Registration and license."

"I can explain—"

"Mister, I don't want explanations, I want your registration and license."

"I, damn." G glanced over at his partner.

"Don't tell me."

"Okay, I won't." He chuckled.

"This isn't funny, G."

"It was."

"Not now." He opened the glove compartment and stared at the empty space. "Now we're in deep trouble."

"Hands out the car windows, now!"

Sam and G shoved their hands out the car windows.

"First the driver, step out of your car, nice and easy."

"I don't know if—"

"How much have you had to drink, mister?"

"What?" G asked, as he stumbled out of the driver's side door, nearly performing a face plant on the PCH's center divider. He managed to steady himself at the last minute.

"Hands in the air. Back to me."

"You are making a big mistake."

"Do it now!"

G raised his arms in the air and turned around. He tried to focus his blurry eyes on the officers before him, pointing high powered rifles at his head.

"Back up, slowly."

He stepped backwards and stumbled again, this time falling to his knees.

"Stay where you are."

G hurled again. Sam was right tequila was not a good friend of his. The behemoth of an officer grabbed G's arms and shoved them behind his back, cuffing his wrists together. The guy looked ex-military and probably was. G decided to cooperate and not fight anything the officer wanted to do with him.

"That's it, cooperation is your friend right now," the officer said. "Stand." He helped his drunk driver to his feet. "It's obvious you had a few too many. Let's confirm that. Breathe into this for me."

G swayed on his feet. Bile creeped to the back of his throat, before he breathed into the machine, he hurled again, this time more violently.

The officer wiped the driver's mouth with a tissue. "Quickly, breathe into this."

G obeyed the officer and nearly passed out from the lack of oxygen and the effects of the tequila.

"You are well over the legal limit," he said. "It's jail time for you, mister." The officer guided his DUI driver over to the cruiser and eased him into the back seat. "Watch your head."

"How do I do that, I can't see it?" G chuckled.

"I don't know what you've been drinking, but I suggest you never drink it again." He closed the door and returned to help his partner with the passenger. The two officers settled Sam into the back seat next to his partner.

"How you doing partner?"

"Not doing much but sitting here trying to figure how I am supposed to watch my head."

"What?"

"He told me to watch my head."

"Are you serious, man?"

G winked at him and chuckled.

"I ought to slug you."

"But you can't quite reach me with your wrists in handcuffs?"

"Do yourself a favor and never drink tequila again."

"You are the second wise ass who told me that, I think, maybe the first, who knows, and who really cares." G slumped in his seat and rested his head on the back of the seat. "I hope I don't hurl again."

"Especially on me."

"Aw, poor big guy doesn't want to get recycled pizza all over him."

"In a minute I'm gonna find something to shove in your mouth."

"You're gonna wait that long?"

"Both of you shut your mouths," one officer said, as he settled into the driver's seat.

"Well, that's succinct." G shifted his weight on the seat, trying to find a more comfortable position.

"And final, mister." The officer eyed him in the rearview mirror.

G chuckled to himself as he shut his eyes.

Thanks for reading.