AN: Thank you so much for your support and your kind reviews - I really appreciate it a lot and I love knowing what you think!
This chapter gets a little heavy towards the end and we get to know a little why Damon left and never came back...although I'm going to deepen the argument in later chapters. And I'm sure most of you won't find the end of this chapter very pleasing, sorry about that. :P
Damon in this story is quite complicated and insecure about his feelings so it might take him a while before he loosens up. He's stubborn, lol. But fear not because it won't take too long... ;)
Please enjoy and let me know your thoughts! xoxo
BTW I've created an account on Twitter, where you can ask me questions or whatever you like about this story or "Luckily You Exist". Follow me if you want to, the username is the same as here: AndThenYou_
Elena hurried out of the kitchen and went straight to Damon. She probably shouldn't bother, since it wasn't any of her business. Most of all she shouldn't care about that cocky ass but somehow she did.
He may have made a wrong choice by never coming back and leaving his family behind, but still it would be better if he prepared himself for the storm instead of finding himself face to face with Stefan and Maria all of a sudden, right?
She rolled her eyes as she saw Andie laughing at something he said, but she approached them anyway. Her smile immediatly fell as she saw Elena.
Damon turned around, looking surprised to find her there.
"We already ordered." He said rudely before turning around again.
She wanted to yell at him what a rude jerk he was being but she kept herself together.
"Actually I have to talk to you." She said sternly.
He sighed a little, almost as if in mocking her, and she saw Andie keeping a smug snort. God how she wanted to strangle her.
"We're kinda in the middle of something here, can't it wait?" He replied faking her a smile.
She was fuming right now. She was trying to subtly tell him that it was something important, and he still acted so dickish? If it wasn't for how much she cared about Stefan and if he wasn't his brother she would have probably told him to go to hell by now.
"Fine, be that way. If you don't want to know about your mother and your brother coming back I guess it's on you." She said firmly as she started walking away.
Right after she did she smiled smugly as she heard him quietly apologizing to Andie and then calling her name. He reached her at the bar and she turned around, crossing her arms in a pissy way.
She gave him a questioning look raising one eyebrow and he sighed a little, looking a little uncomfortable.
"What did they tell you?" He asked.
"They're coming back today. I just wanted to warn you so you could get used to the idea…you haven't seen each other in a very long time." She said almost in understanding, her arms still crossed.
He stayed quiet for a few long moments, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"I…thank you for telling me." He said quietly, gulping nervously.
She could see how nervous and tense he looked and she honestly wanted to comfort him. He looked almost scared and he seemed to be a tough person, handling Logan last night proving it further.
She opened her mouth a couple of times to say something but nothing came out. He didn't like her and he wasn't afraid to show it, and somehow it made her feel uncomfortable and unsure on how to act around him.
"I gotta get back to Andie now…I'll see you around." He said.
"Damon?" Elena called as he started walking away. "I have the keys of the Boarding House. I could go with you if you want to." She said tentatively.
"I already have mine." He said.
She sighed a little, trying not to mind his arrogant attitude.
"They changed the lockers during the years..I doubt you have a new key." She said raising her eyebrow.
He stiffened a little and his expression grew darker.
"Fine." He said sounding annoyed.
"I'm just trying to help you here, you could at least stop acting so arrogantly." She said as she shook her head. He was unbelievable.
He got closer again, looking at her firmly in the eyes.
"I've already told you that I don't like you." He said sternly. "If you want to help me so bad, then that's your problem. I couldn't care less." He said, making her gasp a little.
And with that, he was gone.
Andie kept talking but what she was saying really didn't interest him at the moment. She was nice and all but right now he just couldn't bring himself to care. His mother and Stefan were coming back and that was all he could think about. Almost...
"So yes I was interviewing him and he kept staring at my breasts, I mean, who does that? The mayor is totally a manwhore." Andie conclued. "Have you ever met him?"
That snapped him out of his thoughts as he focused his attention on her again.
"Sorry who?"
"The mayor." She said again, looking confused and a little annoyed.
"Oh yeah right…no. But I know his son." He said.
"Are you okay? It's like you're not here at all." She said.
"I'm sorry." He sighed. "Just…family business." He said shrugging casually.
And I'm thinking about another girl while on a date with you, he wanted to say. As much as he wanted to keep her off his thoughts he just couldn't keep Elena off his mind. What game was she playing? Acting all nice and caring, what was the point?
And he couldn't stop picturing her flawless and petite body and how she looked last night. He'd tried to avoid it but he had devoured her with his eyes all night. It pissed him off badly when that douchebag of Logan Fell manhandled her. How dare he? But then he thought about the fact that he didn't like her as a person. That he didn't like who she was and how his brother most likely became a shallow and dumb person just like her. Stefan had betrayed him by becoming friend with one of the people he despised the most. She looked changed, it was almost like she was another person, the best version of herself...but he didn't care. What was done was done, and he wouldn't let her fool him again. The last time she had acted so nicely with him it ended up being one of the most humiliating moments of his life. No, he didn't like her, and he never would. He had to keep his mind on this Andie girl who even though seemed to be a little nuts, it was sure as hell better than Elena.
They kept chatting and he tried his best to keep focusing on her instead of making his mind go off somewhere else. He wasn't looking for a relationship, especially not in Mystic Falls. But who said that he couldn't have a little bit of fun while in here?
They finished eating and she said that she had to run back to work, although she made pretty clear that she wanted to go on with whatever they were building. He kept it casual and told her that he would call her eventually.
His eyes immediatly turned to the bar where he saw Elena wearing her normal clothes and talking with one of her co-workers. He was tempted to go there and ask her if they could just go to the damn Boarding House already but he didn't want to sound needy. Sure as hell not with her.
She caught his eye and started heading towards him. He stirred a little and cleared his throat, not quite sure of why she made him so nervous.
"So…" She sighed, crossing her arms. "Are you done here or your starr is still around?"
He rolled his eyes but held back a laugh at her comment. He got up, putting the bill on the table as he put his leather jacket on.
"Look Elena why don't you just give me those keys and I go alone? After all that house is mine too." He said, trying his best not to sound rude.
She cocked her brow, a mix of amusement and annoyance on her features. He gave her a sarcastic expectant look shaking his head and she rolled her eyes.
"For the love of god Damon, no." She spat firmly.
His expression darkened and he huffed quietly cursing under his breath.
"I'm not deaf, bitch." She said narrowing her eyes as she headed towards the exit.
He followed her outside not sure if she had to go with him or if she would go with her own car.
"Do you want...uhm, need a ride?" He asked.
"I…no thanks, I have my car." She said smiling tightly.
He returned her smile and then quickly headed towards his car.
It took them a little more than ten minutes to get there, and he felt a pang in his chest as he looked at the house. He hadn't been there…in years. That house used to be home once. It looked still the same, expect for the garden which seemed to hold more green and flowers.
He gulped nervously and stepped out of his car, Elena pulling behind him just then.
He'd tried not to care and pretend that it didn't matter to him anymore, but all the things he had buried inside him seemed to be getting the best of him right now. He remembered that Elena was there with him and that wasn't the moment to think about the past.
"If you want a few moments alone I understand. I'll wait for you inside." She said softly.
He almost didn't hear her approaching him but he was astonished at her understanding. It was like she was reading his mind.
"I'll just…okay, you go ahead." He relented as she nodded at him.
He took in the huge maison and sighed quietly. He then looked at his window and smiled softly as he remembered his old room. He wondered if it had ever been touched at all ever since he left.
After a few more minutes he finally went inside and immediatly recognized everything. Besides a few changes here and there, the house still looked exactly as he remembered it.
He heard noises in the kitchen and stepped inside, seeing Elena putting some groceries into the fridge and shelves.
"What are you doing?" He asked leaning casually against the door frame, his arms crossed.
"I bought some food earlier. They're coming back in the evening and I don't want them to starv." She said shrugging.
His jaw clentched at the thought of Elena being all cozy and intimate with his family. She had no rights.
"So you're what now, part of the family or something like that?" He asked bitterly.
She stopped her movements and sighed quietly, leaning against the counter.
"We're very close to each other." She said without hesitation. "Your mother…she helped me during a rough time, and so did Stefan. I owe them so much." She said. Her voice holding respect.
"Sure they did." He said, chuckling humorless as he shook his head. "You're quite the actress Elena. Such a pity that you're working in that mediocre place."
Her expression hardened instantly and she clentched her fists. She got closer to him, her face cold and hard.
"You know what Damon, it's really not my fault if you've missed out so much during these six years. If you feel guilty about it then take it on yourself because I sure as hell don't deserve to be treated like this by an ass who doesn't know me at all, despite what you seem to believe." She spat at him.
He flinched a little as she breathed heavily.
"I did." He just said after long moments of silence. "I came back three years ago if you really want to know, but actually this isn't any of your business." He said sternly.
She immediatly looked up at him again, her eyes wide and pure confusion on her face.
"What?" She breathed.
"Forget it." He said as he went into the living room.
He headed towards the wet bar and was pleased to find his old friend bourbon. He poured himself a glass as he drank it in one gulp.
He then sat on the couch staring at the fireplace. He noticed Elena slowly sitting on the other side of the couch, looking calmer than a few minutes ago.
They sat in silence for a while when she finally spoke up.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" She asked quietly.
He could almost hear pity in her voice and he hated it. Damn it, of all people he had to have an outburst with her.
"As I said it's none of your damn business." He said harshly as he refilled his glass.
"You know, sometimes confiding in people can help. I get that you want to keep things to yourself and it's totally right. And I know that we aren't exactly on good terms but if you ever want to talk…I'm here. I promise I won't tell anything to Stefan if you don't want me to." She said calmly.
He felt his heart skipping a beat at the truth of her words. He really did want to let it out and confess why he never had the guts to really come back, but he couldn't. Especially not with her. He couldn't open his heart again and letting himself feel all of the things he felt for her. She was a weakness and he didn't do weakness.
So he did what he did best, shutting people out.
"Just get out please." He said, not making eye-contact.
He heard her gasping a little in surprise and she stood up after a few seconds.
"I didn't mean to…" She started.
He got up too, slamming the glass on the nearby table.
"You didn't mean to what? Being a bitch to me ever since we knew each other except for your little stupid act during these few days? Or keep on pretending that you give two shits about what me or my family go through? I sure as hell don't want your pity, you're the last person who has to even dare pitying me. So just get the hell out of my house." He said, speaking the last words slowly.
He saw a flicker of hurt in her face and he immediatly regretted being so hard on her.
"Whatever you say, Damon." She said in almost a whisper.
She quickly walked towards the door and it slammed shut after a few seconds. He plopped back on the couch holding his face in his hands as he sighed heavily.
"Fuck." He muttered.
He started a fire and then poured two other glasses of alcohol. After a while he felt himself growing dizzy and he laid on the couch, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he slowly faded into a deep sleep.
Three hours later he was woken up by someone throwing some cold water on his face. He cursed loudly and suddenly stood up.
He heard someone chuckling and saw nothing less than an amused Stefan laughing at him.
"What the fuck, Stefan?" He spat angrily.
So he was right when he thought that Elena might have possibly influenced him. Great.
"Is that the way to greet your dear brother after so long?" He said.
"Touché." He sighed heavily, taking off his jacket and running a hand through his now wet hair.
He then took in the sight of Stefan, who was now looking at him with a mix of vulnerability and anger.
His eyes widened a little in shock as he saw how much he'd changed. He wasn't that chubby short kid that he remembered anymore, his body was toned and his face more slender. His hairstyle was changed too and he was just…grown up.
He sighed a little, not quite sure of what to say. Stefan's face was holding so many emotions that he just didn't know where to start from. He could read it in his face that he'd let him down.
"You've changed so much…" He said.
"Same goes for you." He said, smiling a genuine little smile this time. "When I saw you I almost thought that someone broke in and fell asleep on the couch." He said chuckling.
"Well gee Stef, thanks." He said rolling his eyes.
"I honestly needed that." He said as he saw him eyeing the now finished bottle of bourbon. "Where is mom?" He then asked, gulping nervously.
"Not here." Stefan simply replied, going to sit on the armchair.
"I thought you were both coming back." He said. "Oh sorry, I mean you three." He then said sternly not able to hold back.
Stefan's tired and emotionless eyes suddenly snapped up again to look at him, a shocked expression on his face. Stefan looked nervous himself and he understood that the argument was going to haunt them forever.
"Damon what are you talking about?" He asked carefully, even though he knew exactly of what he was talking about.
"Don't play dumb with me Stefan." He spat as he stood up. "I ran into him in Chicago. He told me he's back and that he wants to fix things with you but frankly I expected you to know better. Especially mom." He said, all the rage and betrayal that he felt partially out.
Stefan had a shocked expression on his face. Disbelief and utter confusion written all over it. He could even see the hurt, though.
"I came back three years ago. I saw you two with him playing family time like nothing happened, like everything that he had done was erased." He then said before Stefan could talk. "I just need to know why." He then said in a whisper.
His only purpose in coming back was to finally have closure, but it seemed like things were only getting more complicated. All of his feelings, hatred, remorse, and confusion included were all blowing up on his face.
When Stefan started crying silently, he really thought that he'd hit the bottom. This was too much. Why did he always screw up around people he loved?
He was about to speak again when Stefan started explaining.
"He didn't come back, Damon. He came back three years ago begging mom to give him another chance and take him back, but…she didn't. He stayed for a few days but that's it. She did know better Damon. We haven't seen him or heard from him since then." Stefan said.
Stefan started shaking his head, unable to control his resentment as he stood up.
"That's why you never came back or called us? Then why are you back now?" He asked sternly.
His head started hurting all of a sudden and he blamed it partially on the bourbon and to the heavy conversation. He rubbed his temples and let out a frustrated sigh.
"I don't know Stefan you tell me. I come back finding the three of you together and when I ran into him in Chicago a few months ago he told me that he was back." He said.
"Well he lied!" Stefan yelled in frustration, surprising both of them.
Damon started shaking his head, a numb expression on his face.
"I….oh god, that bastard. He lied to me." He said as he kept shaking his head.
"Yeah, he did." Stefan said with a sigh, plopping on the couch next to him. "But why are you back now?" He then asked quietly.
"I wanted closure. After talking to him that's all I could think about. I just wanted you to tell me why. I ran into him casually but he was being his usual smug self, and you know what a good actor he is so I just…I believed him." He said.
"It's okay Damon." Stefan said.
"Not it's not okay. I wasted so much time especially with mom." He said angry with himself. "Where is she anyway?"
"She has decided to stay a few more days with aunt Karen..she wasn't really ready to face you just yet. You know…a lot of things happened." He sighed.
"Oh I'm aware of that." He said sarcastically with a devilish smirk. "Like your friendship with Elena Gilbert. Seriously, Stefan? Her of all people?" He said, his jaw clentched.
Stefan let out another sigh and he could see from the expression on his face that just a bunch of bullshit was going to come out.
"Damon I know you don't believe that but Elena is an amazing person and friend." He said with convinction. "As I said a lot happened and you missed it. Don't come here being all judgy, you don't even know her."
"I've spent four years of my life being in love with that girl and I saw and experienced myself enough to say that she's not worth it. You're just making a fool of yourself." He muttered.
Stefan chuckled humorless and narrowed his eyes.
"What is it, are you jealous that I got to know her and spend all these years being her friend and you didn't? Everyone who knows Elena think that she's an awesome girl. Maybe dear brother you're seeing it too and you just don't want to admit it because you're scared of what you might feel again."
His face hardened immediatly as he gulped nervously. No, Stefan was being delusional. If he fell for her then good for him but he wouldn't let Elena or him for that matter fool him again.
"You don't know the first thing about me anymore Stefan. For all you know I could be married with a bunch of kids. So watch your words." He spat as he stood up, quickly putting his jacket on.
"You're so easy to read Damon. You think you're all tough and unbreakable but I beg to differ." He said. "And where are you going anyway?"
"At my apartment. Call your friend Elena to do a little sleepover." He said as he started walking towards the door.
"I thought you wanted to talk…" Stefan said quietly, a flicker of disappointment in his voice.
"Maybe some other time." He replied, not bothering to turn around.
He was feeling guilty for a lot of things and this just wasn't the night to go on a trip to memory lane.
He slammed the door behind him and stepped into the cool air of the night. Taking a deep breath before getting into his car and heading to the Grill.
It was a little more busy than usual and he actually didn't know why he even came here in the first place. He almost did it without thinking. When he looked around and noticed that Elena was nowhere to be found and disappointment filled his being, he understood that it was because of her. His subconscious kept repeating him that.
He took a seat on one of the stools and ordered a shot of whiskey. A few moments later he felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned around, finding Andie grinning at him.
"Hey there." She said as she sat on the stool next to him. "Twice in a day. I must be lucky." She said laughing her monotonous laugh.
"You are honey." He said smirking mischeviously. "Can I offer you something to drink?"
"I'll take a shot of whiskey too." She said winking.
A shot of whiskey turned into five and at the end of the night she was pratically all over him.
"So…my place or yours?" She whispered seductively in his ear, rubbing her thigh just across his hardness.
"Right here." He groaned into her mouth as he dragged her out of the Grill, slamming her against a nearby wall.
The ache in his heart that he'd felt for the whole day after Elena walked out on him and he had the talk with Stefan was still there, just growing if he dared to think about it. He didn't know why and neither he wanted to figure it out. He didn't do guilty, he didn't do weak.
So for the night it was all forgotten as he focused on his new distraction.