A/N: Thank you, everyone who has left a review and/or added my story or me to one of your lists. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. If I have failed to reply to your review, please forgive me. I have two kids, and am usually up all night writing this and "Demon Team" (co-writer Pikachumomma), and although I cherish your reviews and hope you will keep letting me know what you think, I suspect that most of you would rather I write the next chapter. And speaking of which ….
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CHAPTER 4: Can You BELIEVE That?
It took a while, but eventually, the uproarious laughter faded and a humiliated Headmaster was released from his spectacularly-failed heroic pose and found himself forcefully seated and bound to the Witness Chair. Council Leader Bones had summoned and scrutinized all of the magickal items in the old man's possession, and was somewhat shocked to realize that it appeared the old bastard was something of a kleptomaniac. As the Lords and High Lords regained their seats and dignity, and the occupants of the Gallery Seating settled, the stoic Council Leader knocked on her table and issued a Call to Order. Nodding approvingly as the noise level fell and all attention turned to her, Amelia Bones carefully fixed her monocle in place, and maintained an imposing silence for a moment or two, before slowly raising her impassive gaze to the apprehensive man in the Witness Chair. She studied him contemptuously before speaking in a cold, emotionless tone.
"Well. That was certainly illuminating, wasn't it, Mr….well….Albus?" She watched him clench his jaw and then raise his head proudly. Personally, she thought he looked more bloated than proud. Running her gaze over the closely observing Lords, she continued, "We have two immediate orders of business, and then we can determine precisely how we are going to go about the rest of this Session. Personally, my gut instincts are telling me that this will be considerably more than a single-day Session, and we will need to address that." There were numerous nods of agreement being repeated throughout the Hall. "First order of business, however, is to formally document and itemize these objects, all of which I retrieved from Albus …. Percy's?... person. May I have a Clerk of Record and an Auror up front, please? Lords of the Hall, you may consider this a short break; restrictions are still in effect but the lavatories are of course accessible. We will resume this Session within twenty minutes. Thank you."
As the Lords and observers slowly stood and began to stretch and move around the Hall a bit, most gathering in small groups to discuss the startling events thus far, Amelia Bones cast a quick spell at the petulant old man in the Witness Chair before he could voice a complaint. She smirked as a startled Albus Whatever-his-name-was jumped in reaction to his bladder suddenly becoming empty, then snorted in amusement as she watched him carefully shift and eye his own robes in an effort to determine if the sudden evacuation of his bladder had been magickal or involuntary.
One has to take amusement where one can, after all.
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'This was interesting," mused a remarkably relaxed Lord Lucius Malfoy. Truly, he was now of the opinion that a good bout of hearty laughter was perhaps more efficacious than a nightcap of fine brandy to remove the stress and tension of a difficult day. Of course, the parting song Fawkes had offered before he flamed out of the Hall hadn't hurt, either.
He watched closely as the requested clerk and auror made their way to the Council Leader's table, upon which was arrayed a rather extensive group of objects. Feeling an elbow nudge him gently from his left, he turned to catch Harrison's … Lord Potter's… beautiful, gleeful eyes. The handsome lord leaned in closely, giving Lucius a welcome moment or two to appreciate the young man's light cologne. Beckoning to Gabriel to lean over and listen, too, a smirking Harrison murmured lowly, "This is going to be fun. Albus is something of a pickpocket, you see. I bet a bottle of Chaparral Crisp that at least half of those items he had are stolen from people right here in the Hall." He chuckled a bit at the appalled delight on the faces of the two men.
Gabriel Zabini glanced at the table in question, trying to get a good look at what was there, then turned back to his friends and whispered, "One chest of Zabini chocolates says only one-third are items only a woman would want." Lucius huffed a quiet laugh and added his bid, "Ten porterhouse steaks from the Malfoy ranch in Japan if at least two of those items belong to Amelia." Gabriel dropped his forehead briefly to Lucius' broad shoulder and silently laughed at the thought of the Lady's reaction. At Harry's quiet hiss, both looked up, then followed his gaze across the room to a grinning Lord Ogden. They watched closely as the man carefully mimed his own bid, which they interpreted as being two decanters of his finest Ogden Firewhiskey if one of the items on the table belonged to either Harrison, Lucius or Gabriel. Lucius watched in open amusement as Harrison dropped his face onto his folded arms, shoulders shaking silently, when their miming of taking Ogden's bet resulted in two enthusiastic thumbs-up from the portly Lord across the Hall.
Wanting to continue the enjoyable moment – and the enchanting, close-up whispering and enticing view of a laughing, grippingly-attractive Harrison Potter – Lucius put a large hand on Harry's broad, lightly shaking back and moved his mouth near the young man's ear. "What other unsavory facts to you know about the venerable Old Goat?" He risked lightly rubbing the strong back beneath his hand and raised his eyebrows challengingly as bright, green eyes emerged from their shelter and turned to him in quick reaction. A closely-watching Gabriel hid a grin at the interaction between the two eligible Lords, and glanced quickly over to see if Lord Ogden was watching. He was. Damn, that meant he owed Ogden more chocolates; he had been certain these two would not show such obvious signs of attraction until dinner.
Harry blinked in surprise at the warm touch on his back, and shuddered in sensual response when the distinctive, deep voice murmured against his ear. Merlin, was that incredible scent aftershave or was it Lucius himself? He felt his breath catch when he turned his head to the left and found himself with a close-up view of the incomparably sexy Lucius. Wow, his eyes really were silver!
Momentarily shocked by his sudden surge of arousal, Harry took a moment to actually hear the exact phrasing of Lucius' question. When he did, however, a delightfully wicked grin crossed his face. Lucius found his own answering grin fighting to get out as he raised his eyebrows in anticipation. Clearly, Harrison had something really good to offer about the Old Goat. Harry crooked a finger and beckoned Gabriel closer, too, and said mockingly to the Italian, "I know for a fact you don't know about this one yet, you blackmailer. I just confirmed this last week." He couldn't stop the somewhat evil laugh that burst from his throat. Glancing between the two extraordinary Lords, he reached into the inside breast pocket of his robe and removed his billfold. Opening it, he pulled out a shrunken newspaper, which he held tightly as he returned his billfold to his robe. Crooking a finger again, all three men huddled in close collusion as Harry slowly enlarged and opened the newspaper.
Those watching could not help but sigh. This was the stuff that fueled intimate fantasies! Once again, the three sexiest Lords in Wizarding Europe - debonair, bronzed Zabini; fey, magnetic Malfoy; and dark, delicious Potter – were delightfully close to each other in a pose that was worthy of a bestselling romance novel.
Unaware of their impact, Lucius and Gabriel watched in amused anticipation as Harry met their eyes with suggestively-wiggling black eyebrows over his sparkling, emerald orbs. Lucius dropped his silver gaze to intently watch Harry's well-formed lips and straight, white teeth as the younger man smiled. He felt his breath hitch at the violently vivid image of that beautiful mouth wrapped around his rigid manhood. Forcibly ignoring his sudden, twitching erection, he sternly reminded himself to pay attention. Oblivious to his aroused companion's inner conflict, Harry spoke in low, chuckling tones, "Funny you should call him an 'old goat', Lucius. Let's run with that for a moment. Have you ever noticed that as people age, they begin to look like their animagus forms?"
He watched them with delight as the two reached the inevitable conclusion. Gabriel slapped a hand to the back of Harry's head, reaching around Lucius to do so, and hissed eagerly, "Are you telling me that bastard is a goat animagus? Truly?" Seeing that Lucius was amused, but wasn't really connecting the dots to get the whole implication, Harry prompted, "And now, gentleman, tell me what Aberforth is infamous for?" He gloried in the twin looks of dawning glee on the handsome faces so close to his own.
Enjoying the way the two schemers sifted through the possibilities, he laughed out loud for a moment, then sent an apologetic look at an interested Amelia Bones. Shaking his head, he returned his attention to a devilishly snickering pair of Lords. Once again, Lucius found his shoulder playing host to a laughing Gabriel Zabini, but he couldn't blame the man. He, himself, had a gloved hand across his eyes, and a wide grin stretching his face almost intolerably. Gasping for breath and control, he peeked through his fingers at Harry and said, "Are you saying that Aberforth Dumbledore fucked his own brother, when Albus was a goat? Seriously? Did he know? Do you have proof? Oh, gods, please, I beg you, TELL me you have proof!"
Now laughing continually under his breath, Harry teased lowly, "What'll you give me if I have proof?" He almost choked on his own spit when Lucius reached out and buried a firm hand in Harry's raven hair, pulled the young man's face close to his own, foreheads touching, and purred with clear, wicked meaning, "Absolutely anything you want." And just that fast, the near-constant hum of sexual tension that had vibrated between the men from the moment they first shook hands ignited. The heavy aura of mounting desire spiking and flaring between them was palpable – nearly visible! - as heated emerald locked with molten silver. The bronzed, sexy Lord Gabriel Zabini, sitting closely enough to the two to feel the magic swirling around them, didn't even try to fight his own arousal. 'Why would I?' he reasoned. 'They are delicious together.' At the sight of a flushed Harry and predatory Lucius panting lightly together, his own heartbeat sped up and Gabriel felt that his leather pants were suddenly much too tight. The inevitable cascade of mental images lead from the heated exchange in front of him and culminated in erotic scenes involving Harry, Lucius, naked skin, hard bodies and silk sheets. With a wry, inner grin, Gabriel acknowledged to himself that he would in no way object to being a part of those images. Hearing a low moan behind him, he glanced around and realized that the lovers – for Gabriel had no doubts at all that the two would soon be just that – had caught the mesmerized attention of everyone. The moan had come from the very effeminate Lord Parkinson, whose preferences for strongly masculine men easily explained why his daughter Pansy looked nothing like him. (Rumor had it that she did, however, closely resemble one of his wife's former tutors.) Gabriel was vastly amused to see that no one, with the possible exception of a sour headmaster and a talking hat, was unaffected, if the uncomfortable shifting and bright eyes were any indication. Mischievously, Gabriel leaned in and pressed his own forehead to that of the other two and brightly asked, "Do you want to continue this later, or are you going for a really spectacular cover photo?"
Lights flashed and cameras clicked as Lucius and Harry turned amused gazes at Gabriel. The newspapers would show still another sigh-worthy photo of Lucius Malfoy aiming a wicked grin and suggestively raised eyebrows at his bronzed-god of a friend, while handsome Harrison Potter pressed a laughing kiss to the tip of the Italian's Roman nose.
Pleased to see that neither of his friends was embarrassed by their unplanned display, Gabriel refocused on the issue of old goats. "Now that I have so rudely interrupted your so-rude interruption…," he began charmingly, "…Well, Harrison? Do you have the proof for which Lucius has pledged you unlimited access to his delectable body?" He laughed at Harry's delighted grin when Lucius said without missing a beat, "I retract the offer. Harry, you may have unlimited access to my body free of charge."
Making a visible effort to pull his mind – and blood – back above his waist, Harry shook himself a little like a dog and then held up the newspaper with a flourish. "Gentlemen, I give you the proof that Albus really is a fucking old goat." Amidst hearty laughter, and not trying in any way to keep the avid eavesdroppers from hearing, he placed the newspaper on the table in front of the two Lords. Leaning over it, Lucius shook his head in revolted fascination as he realized it was the infamous newspaper clipping from roughly fifty years ago, featuring an overweight, thoroughly unattractive Aberforth Dumbledore, open pants and checkered boxers shoved to his knees, clutching a frantically-bleating goat's hips with both hands as he held the animal's ass up to his groin and happily humped away. Gabriel's succinct, "Blech!" pretty much said it all.
Raising a disgusted face to look at a sniggering Harry, he quirked a moonlit eyebrow and said dryly, "And your point is …?"
Harry offered another hearty laugh as he produced his wand. Aiming it at the clipping, he cast the rune for clarity and said, "Magnificat!" The flinching Lords watched in reluctant fascination as the image on the newspaper slowly enlarged. It was quite disconcerting to see any part of that photo seeming to appear larger, and larger, and larger…. Gabriel couldn't stand it, as was evidenced by another emphatic, "Oh, ewwwww. Blech! Double blech!... Damn it, Harry! What the hell?" Lucius was about to agree – quite emphatically—when he saw it.
Oh. My. Merlin!
There on the table, clear as day thanks to Harry's ten-times magnification of the image, was a large, clear, full-color close-up of the hapless – or, actually, not so hapless – goat's face. It was a narrow, white, fairly normal goat's face – with bright blue, insanely twinkling eyes. Albus's annoying, twinkling eyes.
And there, falling from the goat's panting mouth and landing to get stuck in the long, white beard on the billygoat's chin, was a bright, yellow lemon drop.
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Sitting in the Witness Chair while that utter bitch Amelia sifted through his belongings – well, his now, anyway - the annoyed Headmaster was too far away to hear any of the conversation between his escaping chesspiece Harry Potter and the dangerous Lord Zabini and his Deatheater companion, Lucius Malfoy. He rather desperately wanted to know what they were plotting up there, with their heads so closely together like that. Wanting to get them to stop plotting, as he was sure it would mean nothing good for him if the past hour were any indication, the manipulative old man mentally urged Harry to look up and meet his eyes so he could launch an attack of Legilimency into the weak-minded boy.
When he suddenly got his wish, and the three lords turned malicious eyes and matching, evil grins on him, Albus abruptly changed his mind. No, having them look at him was definitely a bad thing. Very, very bad.
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As the Lords re-gathered and regained their seats, Amelia Bones sighed in annoyance. The itemizing was still going on, with a long delay occurring because so far every item they had cast an identification charm on showed a different owner. Reaching a decision, she knocked out the Call to Order and waited for the Lords and attendees of the Hall of Government to settle down.
As silence fell, Council Leader Bones spoke. "Rather than wait for this, I wish to move onto the next order of business, which I hope will make much of the upcoming discussion go more smoothly. If that is agreeable?" As no red lights showed in objection, she nodded firmly and continued. "High Lord Potter? There seems to be an issue with what this man's name actually is. We need to know what to write on the Sentence." Laughter rippled around the room. Albus frowned and tried to shift to a more comfortable position in his bindings. Casting a reproving glance at the unimpressed Lords, the Headmaster arranged his face in a careful mask of wounded dignity and said, "I must object to your frivolity, as well as to the implication that rendering punishment of any sort upon me is a foregone conclusion." He ignored the disbelieving stares and eye rolls and worked to catch the eyes of those whom he knew were firmly in his pocket, for one reason or another. He was quite irritated to see that not even the weak-willed Augustus Arndstrom would meet his gaze, which precluded his intention to use Legilimency to re-enforce certain compulsions he had placed within his supporters.
"The fact that you will be receiving punishment is a foregone conclusion….'Sir'," Bones said disdainfully. "You attempted to escape Judgment from the Hall of Government. That alone is enough to earn you something remarkably uncomfortable. As I know for a fact that a fair amount of the items you had on your person do not, in fact, belong to you, I feel fairly safe in doing a little preliminary paperwork for your Sentencing, Dumble- … Albus." Turning in irritation toward Lord Potter, she continued, "You take my point? It is essential that we know very soon what to call this man." As many of the more smart-ass Lords opened their mouth, she added hastily, "Let me rephrase that. I'm sure many of us have suggestions on what to call him. What we need to establish right now is his legal name." She smirked smugly at the disgruntlement of the pre-empted comedians.
"Council Leader Bones, may I speak to this matter?" came a gravelly, aged voice. Startled, the lady in question turned her attention to Tavin McGonogall, seated in ragged glory on the table in front of Minerva McGonogall.
"Of course, sir. Perhaps you would be so kind as to tell us how you prefer to be addressed?" The face on the venerable old hat seemed to smile at the question as the slow, aged voice replied, "Council Leader Bones, it has been two millennia since last I was human. I have been both Tavin McGonogall and the Sorting Hat for too many centuries to care overmuch for formalities. You may address me as you wish, but my name is simply Tavin, and that would be my preference. If that is too informal for the stuffed shirts in the room, then call me Chieftain McGonogall or just Sorting Hat." No one missed the gentle hand Minerva ran down the back of the hat.
Smiling in appreciation, Amelia Bones said simply, "I believe that we of this Hall should respect the wishes of our elders, and none here could argue that you qualify. 'Tavin' it is! And so, Tavin, what can you tell us regarding this man's true name?" with a negligent nod of her head toward the pinch-faced Headmaster. As an apologetic afterthought, the Council Leader flicked her wand and a comfortable chair moved from the wall and slid into position behind the still-standing Deputy Headmistress. The older woman gratefully seated herself as the attentive Lords and members of the Gallery sat back to listen or leaned forward in eager attention, depending on their nature.
Pausing a moment in contemplation, the old hat seemed to draw a deep breath (a concept which flummoxed many) and began, "The man seated in the Witness Box is Albus Percy. A century and a half ago, the Percy family had died out except for the brothers Albus and Aberforth. For many generations, the Percy family had been vassals to the Ancient and Noble House of Dumbledore. The Dumbledore family had long lived in near-total isolation on their remote estate in the Swiss Alps. Their name was known, but very little about any of the recent generations of the Dumbledore family was common knowledge.'
The silence in the Hall of Government was absolute, with the attention of every living being riveted on Tavin McGonogall. To prevent him interrupting or otherwise disrupting the narrative, Albus Percy had been silenced, and chose to look like he was intentionally attentive rather than effectively bound and gagged.
Tavin continued his tale. 'At the time of Albus' eleventh birthday, the High Lord of the Dumbledore family was Lord Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The only other living Dumbledore was Wulfric's daughter Ariana. When Albus received his Hogwarts Letter of Acceptance, it was addressed to 'Albus Percy, vassal, Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.' High Lord Wulfric Dumbledore was a very, very good man. He was in truth everything that Albus Percy has pretended to emulate over the years. Although he had no obligation to educate either of the Percy boys, he chose to send both boys to Hogwarts. When he arrived, Albus was bullied a bit, mostly by purebloods in Slytherin House, the house I sorted him into. He kept his vassalage a secret and began to research how to become a Nobleman. He soon learned it was not possible, that as a vassal the only legal way to gain nobility would be to be knighted, which would actually require an investment of honor and effort, or to marry into a Noble House. Ariana was already betrothed, and no other pureblood would have anything to do with a vassal. But Albus found a loophole, of sorts. Not a legal one. Not a moral one. But one that worked for him. The Book of Names."
The engrossed listeners looked at the pure-white book sitting on the table next to Tavin. Finally, they were going to learn why it had been presented during this Session. Drawing another unnecessary breath, Tavin elaborated, "In short, Albus learned what we explained earlier, that under certain circumstances, information in the Book can be corrected or modified with a simple letter. So, he wrote one. Now, remember, if you will, the way his Letter of Acceptance was addressed: Albus Percy, vassal, Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Albus simply advised the letter that it had written his name incorrectly, that it was not 'Percy, vassal' but 'Percival'. He told the Book of Names that his name was 'Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore' – and the Book agreed.'"
Silent in the Witness Box, Albus Percy could not help but preen a little as looks of stunned realization swept over the listeners. No matter what else fell out of today, at the very least he would forever be known as a brilliant man. A con man, possibly. Well, probably. Still, a brilliant con man.
"From there," Tavin continued, "the rest of the Line Theft of the Dumbledore name snowballed. He returned to the Dumbledore estate over the summer, and his next letter of scores and required supplies arrived from Hogwarts. Ariana intercepted the owl and saw Albus' revised name. She tried to get to her father, but Dumbledore imperiused her in a panic. Aberforth witnessed it, and was drawn into the scheme. Together, they immobilized High Lord Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, using an imperiused Ariana to trick her own father. They then conducted a blood adoption using a desperate Wulfric, and then murdered the old lord in cold blood. Aberforth wanted to marry Ariana, but she was now legally his sister – not that it married to either Albus or him – but she broke the Imperius and they had to kill her, too. In the end, the crime was almost perfect. They had the name, the House, the money, some of the family magics, etc."
Into the shocked silence spoke Lord Malfoy. "Almost perfect?"
At this, Lord Harrison Potter rose to his feet and swept a piercing, emerald gaze across the Hall before settling a cold, murderous glare upon Albus Percy. "Yes, Lord Malfoy. It was only almost perfect – because unknown to the brothers, Ariana had gotten married a few months before they left for Hogwarts. She was widowed before they left, but she was pregnant. She had the child while Albus and Aberforth were at school. They were only vassals; there was no reason for them to know the family's business. After Wulfric and Ariana's murders, the Dumbledore house elves, although forcibly bound to Albus and Aberforth due to the blood adoption, still saved the child. They brought the baby boy to his paternal grandparents. The baby's father Henri was the son of a squib mother descended from the Chaparral a muggleborn father. The baby was renamed 'Kavin Wolfgang Evans.'"
"He was my great-grandfather."