Cal waited in the car for Gillian to come out of the Bradley house. When she did she looked hopeful.

"Everything alright?" he asked as she climbed in the car beside him.

Gillian smiled at him knowing the question wasn't about the family inside but about her. She nodded but still processing her own feelings she chose to answer for Lane Bradley.

"He's dealing really well. They'll need time and counseling but he loves them all and they want to try."

Cal nodded. He started the car and backed down the drive. "It will be hard for a man like him. He's lost control of the whole situation. He's going to have to deal with the fact that the daughter he loves so much is not his."

"Not biologically." Gillian said looking out of the window at the house as they pulled away. "But as far as he's concerned Kimberley is his child and you'd be surprised how much people are willing to sacrifice to keep their children."

Cal mentally slapped himself.

"I'm sorry luv. I didn't mean to…"

She held out her hand but didn't look at him. "It's ok. You didn't."

The ride back to the Lightman group was a quiet one. Cal kicking himself for stirring up bad memories and Gillian lost in her own thoughts.

They pulled up in the parking lot of their building. Gillian went to get out of the car but Cal's hand on her leg stopped her.

"Can I come over tonight?" he asked.

Gillian smiled and nodded. "I'd like that."

Cal squeezed her leg and they headed inside together, back to business.

Later that evening.

"You left them alone!" Gillian was incredulous.

Cal smirked and deposited himself on her couch.

"They're good kids. They'll behave." He said.

Gillian sat next to him and touched her hand to his brow. She studied him closely.

"Ok where's the real Cal Lightman?"

Cal looked mock offended.

"Seriously? You left Emily and Liam at home alone and you're not even slightly concerned about what they're doing right now?"

"I'm more concerned about you." He said taking her hand.

"I'm fine." She replied.

Cal nodded "I know you are. I know that but I know you still think about her."

Gillian's breath hitched and sadness washed over her face. She looked at him half warning, half despair.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't know how…"

Cal pulled her to him surrounding her in his embrace.

"I think you should try darlin'. "

He gently released her and watched her for a moment. She was fighting an internal war. Should she let go of these unresolved feelings she carried, and if she did would they overwhelm her?

Cal took her hand "I'm right here Gill."

She seemed reassured by this and she gave a small smile.

"I don't know where to start." She said. "Alec would never talk about it. Any of it. We never talked about why we couldn't get pregnant naturally, why the treatments didn't work, why we lost our baby. It tore us apart and I don't want to reopen old wounds. I don't want to put that stress on us."

Cal brushed his thumb across her cheeks to wipe away the tears that had fallen. He would have done anything at that moment to make her feel better. The sorrow in her eyes ripped at his heart.

"Do you ever think about trying again?" he asked.

Gillian shook her head, determination in her eyes.

Cal didn't have to ask why. He'd seen her in the days and weeks after they took Sophie. The day they took her baby back they took a piece of Gillian that had never healed. He knew that being hurt that way again was too much for her to contemplate.

He felt her straighten next to him. She took a deep breath and wiped away her remaining tears.

"I desperately wanted a child, and for so long that longing consumed my heart. I could never carry a child of my own and my chance of being a mother was taken away from me... Now, I have learned to accept that it just wasn't meant to be. And I'm ok with that…" Cal could see she was truthful even if the truth still hurt. Gillian smiled wistfully. "…But for the briefest of moments I was a mom. I was Sophie's mom. And it was wonderful."

Cal pulled her into his arms and held her. He kissed the top of her head wondering, not for the first time where this wonderful woman got her amazing inner strength. All of his life, all Cal had wanted was a normal family. It was the reason he had held onto Zoe for so long. He wanted Emily to have what he hadn't. He'd wanted an ideal. A mum, a dad and kids. No arguing, no violence, no hospitals, just people who loved each other and held onto that no matter what. Looking into Gillian's eyes he finally understood he'd had it all along. He knew that she and Emily were all the family he'd ever need. No more waiting….