Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire.
I feel strangely cold the next morning I wake up. I'm on the couch I'd only guessed I'd fallen asleep on, but I have just a hazy recollection of how I got there. In fact, as I struggle to sit up, I realize I don't remember much at all from the night before. My head begins to slowly throb in pain, and then it hits me.
Damn hangovers.
I groan and stand up, slightly startled by my lack of pants. I walk around the room and find a pair on jeans on the bed. That, I remember. Andrea gave me those, along with the shirt and underwear. I pull the jeans on and then tousle my hair in the mirror until it's somewhat decent, and then make my way out the door and towards the sound of voices coming from the cafeteria.
The smells get to me first. Eggs. I sniff more thoroughly and freeze. Bacon? My hangover recedes slightly and my feet pick up to the smell of that Godly substance. I walk into view and see almost everyone at the table and T-Dog scraping eggs onto plates. I trudge over to the group and place a hand on Caroline's shoulder.
"Finally," the little girl says, looking up at me whilst putting a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.
"Best night of sleep I've had in a long time," I smile and try to blink away the throbbing that's come back into my brain.
"Head hurt?" T-Dog asks, a playful smirk on his face.
Lori glances at me and I force a smile. "No hangovers here," I lie, trying to hide the horrible pain.
"Please," Lori rolls her eyes but smiles and scoots her chair over to allow me to pull one up for myself. I sit down next to her and T-Dog places a plate in front of me and spoons some eggs and two pieces of bacon onto it. I dig in and slowly look around the table.
"Where's Shane? And Rick? And Daryl?" I ask, noticing the missing people.
"Probably still sleeping. Where I should be," Glenn grumbles. It's then that I notice the poor Korean boy. He's hunched over in his chair, fingers lightly massages his temples and letting out moans every-so-often. Poor kid. He seems the worst of us all.
"Rough night?" I ask him, a smirk playing on my lips.
I get a grunt in reply, and Jacqui appears from behind and begins rubbing his shoulders. T-Dog places more eggs on his plate. "Protein helps the hangover."
It's then that Rick walks into the room. His walk is slower, so we all know just how he spent his night. He walks up to Lori and before he can get a word out, Carl smiles at his dad. "Are you hung-over? Mom said you'd be."
Lori and the table exchange a chuckle and Rick smiles and squeezes his wife's shoulder before sitting down at the end of the table. "Mom is right."
"Mom has that annoying habit," Lori smiles.
"Where'd this come from?" Rick asks, holding up a bottle of pills.
"Jenner," Lori replies. "He thought we could use it; some of us, at least," she glances over at Glenn.
"Could you help me please?" Rick hands the bottle over to Lori and she begins to open it. "Thank you," Rick says.
Glenn lets out another moan. "Don't ever, ever, ever let me drink again," he mumbles.
"Hey," we all look up to see Shane waltzing into the room, heading straight for the coffee machine.
"Hey," Rick replies. "Feel as bad as I do?"
"Worse."
I can't help but notice Lori staring down at her plate from next to me, breaking apart the bacon into small pieces, but never putting anything in her mouth. I shrug and stand up to get some coffee myself. Shane head-nods at me, and it seems that T-Dog and I both notice at the same time he has some new markings on his neck.
"What happened?" I ask, observing the three scratch marks. "Freddy Krueger come into your nightmare?"
He gives me a look and goes to sit down. "Must've done it in my sleep."
"Never seen you do that before," Rick notes, eyeing him curiously.
"Me neither." He looks up and stares direction across the table. At Lori. "Not like me at all."
I push the thoughts flowing into my mind aside and try not to focus on the peculiar way this is all playing out. Lori, playing with her food and looking guilty, Shane, basically accusing Lori with his eyes… My head hurt too much already. I would think more about it when it didn't feel like there was a man banging drums against my brain.
I sit back down just as Jenner walks into the room, and Daryl almost right after. I smile at his and he nods back and he makes his way around the table.
"Mornin'," Jenenr greets.
"Hey, Doc," Shane says and we all follow his lead.
"Doctor," Dale starts. "I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing—"
"But you will anyway," Jenner interrupts, nodding his head in understanding.
"We didn't come here for the eggs," Andrea says.
Jenner doesn't speak, just fills a cup with coffee to the very brim and almost chugs it down. Looks like he's had a rough night too. "Finish eating and I'll show you what you want," he tells us.
We nod.
"Where were you last night?" I hear Caroline ask from beside me. Now everyone's focusing their attention on me. Wonderful.
"I was in our room. I think the question is where were you?"
"I was with Carol and Sophia but they dropped me off at our room and you weren't there so they said I could sleep with them," she counters, stiffening her chin.
"I was probably in the bathroom or something."
"Nuh-uh. Checked there too."
I narrow my eyes at the little girl and she raises her eyebrows. I do remember going into Daryl's room, and I remember Glenn coming in too. But if I tell them I was with Daryl, they might think something. The last thing I want is for a rumor to spread around our perfect little group. Like the one building up in my head about Shane and Lori.
I shrug at Caroline and stuff the last bite of bacon into my mouth. "You probably just missed me."
"Whatever you say," she rolls her eyes and glances at the end of the table where Daryl sits. He's looking down, a new bottle of alcohol held firmly in hand. I roll my eyes.
"I do remember helping Glenn over here get back to his room," I smile at him who squints his eyes at me.
"Oh yeah, he came pounding on my door last night asking all around for you," T-Dog laughs.
"Did the same to us," Lori says. Rick chuckles too.
""Did I really?" Glenn asks, his mouth open in embarrassment.
We all nod and he bangs his head rather hard down on the table. "Owwww."
xx
After breakfast Jenner adheres to his promise and brings us into the huge room where we were first introduced to Vi. He turns on the large screen and we all gather around, watching as the monitor does exactly what is asked of it.
"Give me playback of TS-19," Jenner orders.
Vi complies and the screen is filled with a digital viewing of a human head.
"Few people have had the chance to see this. Very few," Jenner tells us.
"Is that a brain?" Carl asks, completely wide-eyed at the picture.
"An extraordinary one," Jenner replies. "Not that it matters in the end."
I find myself in between Daryl and Carol. The feeling in my chest that were about to see something we don't want to see is building further and further up in my chest.
"Take us in for E.I.V.," Jenner says.
"Enhanced internal view," Vi recites, bringing us further into the person's brain.
Now we can clearly see any and all activity throughout the brain. There are small spark-like movements appearing every-so-often inside. It's moments like these when I wished I paid more attention in biology. Looking around at everyone's perplexed expressions, I can tell I'm not the only one.
"What are those lights?" Shane asks from behind me.
"It's a person's life—Experiences, memories… It's everything." He looks up at the screen. "Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you." He points at me. "The thing that makes you unique. And human."
"You gonna make sense ever?" Daryl asks snidely from beside me.
Jenner continues on explain all about impulses and a lot of terms that I can't even understand. About how everything in our brain makes us exactly who we are. Then he tells us that the image we are seeing is a real human being. A test subject. Someone who'd been bitten.
"They volunteered," he explains. "To have us record the process."
I exchange a look with Andrea from across the room. Her eyes are full of an emotion I can't quite comprehend.
"Vi, scan forward to the first event."
"Scanning to the first event."
The sight of this new image is truly scary. This darkness begins traveling up the brain from the bottom. And then, just like that, there are no more long vivid lights wrinkling through the brain. Instead they have been replaced by a dark red and then fades completely to black., and the body is still. There's no more activity in it. No more life. Dead. I look away.
"What is that?" Glenn asks, as confused as everyone else in the room.
"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands shut down, the brain hemorrhages, and then, the major organs. Then, death." He pauses and looks down towards the ground, his face expressionless. "Everything you ever were or will be… Gone."
"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia's small voice echoes strangely through the room.
"Yes," Carol answers, grabbing her daughter's hand.
It seems that everyone in the room is taking this harshly. I steal a glance with Jacqui and see a tear fall from her eye. Even Shane looks far off in the distance, not bothering to comment on what the doctor has just told us. Caroline sneaks her way over to my side and grabs my hand. I squeeze it and force back my own tears. And then I see Andrea. She takes a deep breath and I know she's trying to hold back her emotions as well.
"She lost someone," Lori says when Jenner turns to look at the agonizing blonde woman. "Two days ago. Her sister."
Jenner leans in to Andrea. "I lost somebody too, I know how devastating it is." When she doesn't reply, he turns back to the large screen. "Scan to the second event."
The dark red coloring returns to the brain, but only towards the bottom. There are more bolts of energy flowing throughout the brain, but they are red. The head starts to move again.
"It restarts the brain?" Lori asks.
"No, just the brain stem," Jenner replies. "Basically it gets them up and moving."
"But they're not alive." Rick speaks, but it's not so much a question.
"You tell me." Jenner motions at the infected brain.
"It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark," Rick concludes.
"Dark. Lifeless. Dead."
The words pulsate through my own brain and I take a deep breath. I see Daryl look at me out the corner of his eye and I hope he doesn't see the break in my composure. But mostly, I hope Caroline doesn't see the break in my composure.
"The you part. It doesn't come back."
Then, before anyone can react, an object tunnels quickly through the patients head. I know immediately what this object is. A bullet. A shot to the head. I shake my head and squeeze Caroline's hand.
"Oh God. What was that?" Carol asks.
"He shot his patient in the head." Andrea's voice shows little emotion. "Didn't you?"
"Vi power down the main screen and workstations," Jenner commands.
"You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea accuses, crossing her arms over her chest.
"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."
"Or that wrath of God," Jacqui pipes up.
"There is that," Jenner says, only as if to please her.
"But there are people who know something right?" I say, my voice surprisingly loud. All eyes turn towards me. I remember hearing some of the guards talking about cures or vaccines. "I mean, there have to be other people had an idea?"
"There may be some," he looks directly at me. It's all I can do to look him in the eye. "People like me."
"But you don't know for sure," I interrupt. "Can't you communicate with them? There has to be some way for you to know."
"Everything went down," Jenner explains, keeping his tone neutral. Communications, directives, all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month."
Just about as long as Marks' death camp had been.
"So it's not just here? There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing?" Andrea's voice is borderline desperate now. I don't blame her. "That's what you're really saying, right?"
Jenner doesn't reply, and breaks eye contact with me, bowing his head down. We all know what this means. "Jesus," Jacqui breathes.
"Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk again," Daryl rubs his face and leans against the computer.
"Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you, and I hate to ask one more question, but," Dale pauses and motions towards a timer-looking thing on the wall. "That clock, it's counting down. What happens when it reaches zero?"
It's the first time I realize this. I've noticed the clock before, but I never thought anything of it. Something tells me that anything running out of fuel is a bad sign. I feel my heartbeat quicken. Rick doesn't even try to hide his panic.
"And then?" he urges, but when he gets no reply, he looks up at the ceiling. "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"
"When the power runs out," the technical voice begins, "facility-wide decontamination will occur."
Fuck.
xx
"I don't even understand." Glenn shakes his head and buries his face in his lap on the couch. I sit on a chair across from him, watching Caroline cling to a pillow on the opposite side of him.
"Decontamination? Why? This doesn't make any sense. We're alive, and healthy…" Carol trails off and strokes Sophia's hair who sits atop her lap.
I wish I could tell them something, but I'm as far in this never-ending tunnel of darkness as they are. I have no idea what Jenner or Vi means by decontamination. What, are they going to spray us down with water? Force us to wash our backs with soap? I clench my fist, and my jaw. This place was supposed to save us and now I don't even know what'll happen when the clock hits zero.
I find myself completely restless, so I stand and ask Carol to watch Sophia and I strode out the door and into the hallway. I go to find Jenner but I'm stopped when one of the doors open on my journey to find him.
"Where are ya goin'?" he asks, taking a drink from the bottle he holds in his hand.
"To find Jenner," I start to walk, but he blocks my path.
"He's not out there," he says. "Already look'd."
"Where is he?"
"Dunno."
I purse my lips and frown. Daryl puts the bottle up to his lips once again and I suddenly want to take the alcohol and pour it down my throat. No emotions. No thoughts. Nothing. Just a shrill happiness that would at least get me through the rest of the day.
"C'mon," Daryl says and holds the door open.
"What a gentlemen," I flush, as I walk through the door. "I should probably get back to Caroline—"
And then it happens. Before I can even finish my statement, he presses me against the wall. I can't see any emotion in his eyes, but mostly because they close so quickly, and in one moment, his lips are pressed fiercely into my own.
At first, I don't know how to react. I just met this guy, what, three days ago? And we hadn't really hit it off… This wasn't exactly a 'love-at-first-sight fairytale. But, the other side of my brain argues. We could die. Right when that clock hits 00:00. Right when decontamination occurs. It could be over. The end. So a few seconds after his mouth connects to mine, I decide, fuck it, and match his heated pace.
With one hand placed softly around his neck, and the other entangled in what little hair he sprouts, I shudder when he moves his mouth down to my neck. Both hands are wrapped around my waist, pulling my hips into him. The strong scent of liquor lingers on my lips, but it alerts my tired senses, and I can't help but let out a low moan as his one hand pulls my leg up around him, allowing full on full contact.
I feel him smile against my skin and his lips travel back up to my lips, and I pull his hair faintly, using my other hand to scratch rather roughly down his arm. This time, he lets out a grunt of pleasure and brings me even closer to him, if it's even possible. He continues to press me harshly against the wall and his hand travels to the top of my jeans, slowly working their way under my shirt. This time, when his lips make their way down to my collarbone, he sucks intensely, and I buck my hips into him. He lets out another satisfied growl. That's gonna leave a mark.
Suddenly, almost as soon as I'm about to just take off my clothes and throw myself at him, his head snaps up and his cocks his head to the side, his eyes searching around the room for something seemingly invisible.
I let out a breath that I realize I've been holding since he's stopped and try to follow his gaze. "Did you hear—"
"Shu' up," he presses a finger up to my lips and then steps back, walking over to the center of the room.
"If I knew you were going to go all Ghostbusters on me, I would've—"
"Tha air shut off," he grunts, his eyebrows furrowing.
I listen closely and do notice a lack of a hum coming from the air conditioner. I silently curse the bad timing and lean back against the wall again. "What does that mean?"
"Dunno." He grabs the half-empty bottle off the table he must've set down before he brutally attacked me, and opens the door to the hallway. He leans halfway out and I can hear several concerned voices voicing our questions.
"Why's everythin' turned off?" Daryl asks as he hangs out the doorway. I walk up next to him and see Jenner swipe the bottle right out of his hand as he walks by. "Hey," Daryl mutters, before glancing once towards me and then striding out the door.
I stand, shell-shocked for a moment. Did that really just happen? I suddenly feel like the past like ten minutes never even occurred. Or was it only five minutes? I shake my head. Nothing feels real anymore.
I see Caroline and Sophia walk past the door, followed by Lori and Carl and Carol, of course, her hand in her daughter's. Finally, Andrea trails behind and I walk out behind her. I bite my lip when she does a completely double take at my appearance.
"And what have you been doing?" she whispers, glaring at my most likely disheveled hair. I smooth it out and clear my throat.
"I was just helping, uh Glenn, and I had to crawl under the uh—"
"Jesus Christ, Aubrey. Daryl? Really?" she shakes her head and then looks towards me again. "You should probably cover your neck."
I slap a hand up to the throbbing reminder placed neatly in the open on my neck. My shirt isn't fit to cover that part of my neck, and I have no time to go back and get my jacket. I weigh my options, until Andrea slows me down and pulls a chuck of hair from behind my head and my adjusts it to perfectly cover my black and blue marking.
"Thanks," I mutter, feeling a blush appear on my cheeks and she nods. We jog to catch up to the group and when we do, I can see there's a problem. A big problem.
"Wha' you mean it's shuttin' itself down? How can a buildin' do anythin'?" Daryl demands, his voice rough.
"You'd be surprised," Jenner mutters as he makes his way into the big room again. At the same time, Rick, Glenn, Shane, and T-Dog came running, in and Lori lets out a frantic yelp for her husband. Panic starts to rise. I quicken my pace and grab Caroline's hand as we make our way down the stairs and into the main room. Beads of sweat travel slowly down Rick's forehead and he meets Jenner in the center of the room.
"Jenner, what's happening?" Rick asks forcefully.
"The system is dropping all the nonessential uses of power," Jenner replies in a flat tone. "It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. Supposed to start at the halfway point. Right on schedule," he remarks as he motions towards the counting-down-to-doom clock, before taking a swig of Daryl's bottle.
We all exchange glances of concern. Nobody seems to know what to say. Glenn and I lock eyes, and I bite my lip to keep from trembling. Jenner sighs and hands out the bottle to Daryl, who grabs it vehemently. "It was the French." He looks to Andrea.
"What?" she asks.
"They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide, they held on to the very last second. They thought they were close to a solution."
"What happened?" Jacqui asks.
"Same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice." He begins to turn away but then looks back, his eyes full of anger and regret. "The world runs on fossil fuels. I mean, how stupid is that?"
"Let me tell you—" Shane starts at the doctor, but Rick grabs his soldier.
"To Hell with it, Shane, I don't even care," he says. "Everybody grab your stuff. We're getting out of here now!" I've never heard his voice so angry and powerful before. I felt Caroline flinch beside me.
We all nod at his urgent tone and turn towards our rooms. Then, alarms begin blaring. We stop in our tracks and a loud booming voice I now think I hate comes through the loud speak. "Thirty minutes to decontamination."
"Doc, what's goin' on here?" Daryl asks.
"Everybody, y'all heard Rick. Everybody, go get your stuff, and let's go! Now!" Shane declares.
We all turn to leave again when steel doors shoot up suddenly, blocking our paths. I feel Caroline's hand release slightly and when I look down, her eyes are wide. Fear. It's all I see in her small features.
I kneel in front of her and take her shoulders, looking her in the eye. "It's okay, Sweetie. We'll be okay." I pull her into a hug and then hear Glenn shout from a little ways away from me.
"Did you just lock us in?" his voice is desperate. "He just locked us in!"
I don't dare open my eyes. Because like the shaking girl in my arms, I realize I'm scared too. No, more than that. I'm terrified. Because everything I've worked so hard to live for is crumbling down at my feet. I worked too hard to escape Marks to be killed by the CDC. I worked too hard to keep Caroline alive, to die here barely keeping my own cool with no hope or pride whatsoever.
"You son of a bitch!" I recognize Daryl's voice as his footsteps barrel towards Jenner's area. I open my eyes to complete hysteria and walk with Caroline towards where Daryl's trying, without much success, to assault Jenner. Caroline shuffles from my side to Carol and Sophie's who are safely out of reach of any of the struggling men.
"No, stop, no!" I hear Shane yell towards Daryl and pull him away from Jenner.
I see Daryl being completely held by T-Dog and Shane, and his arm reaches back as if he's going to throw his bottle of whiskey straight at the doctor's head. I make my way over to them and grab Daryl's arm once he's put on the ground. The sleeveless redneck looks at me for a moment but then turns back to Jenner, the veins in his neck pulsating with anger.
"Hey Jenner, open that door now," Rick orders.
"There's no point, everything topside is locked down. The computers control it, I don't." Rick shakes his head in confusion and the doctor continues. "I told you, once that front door closes, they stay closed, didn't I tell you that."
Once everything has somewhat calmed down from violence, Caroline stalks her way over to me once again and wraps her arm around my leg, while I keep my hand placed on Daryl. I breathe heavily. This is it. It's over.
"It's better this way," Jenner mumbles.
"What is?" Rick snaps. "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?"
Jenner turns back towards his keyboard and Rick narrows his eyebrows in frustration. "What happens in twenty-eight minutes!" Rick yells, as Shane walks behind the doctor and kicks the chair.
"You know what this place is?" Jenner screams, in a voice I've never heard before. "We protected the public from very nasty stuff!" he turns towards the rest of the group. "Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!"
Caroline's nails dig into my skin and she stares towards the ground, her hair covering her eyes. I can't tell that she's crying, but I faint sniffle coming from her direction makes it seem so.
"In the event of a catastrophic power failure, in a terrorist attack, for example, H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organism from getting out."
"H.I.T.s?" Rick asks.
"Vi. Define." Jenner's voice is back to it's collected tone.
"H.I.T.s- high-impulse thermo baric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000 degrees and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."
And that's when it hits us. This place is going to go up in flames. It's like one big giant bomb just waiting to explode. Rick pulls Lori into a hug. Carol leans into her daughter, trying to calm her fears. I stroke Caroline's hair and rub her back as her face digs into my jeans.
"It sets the air on fire," Jenner whispers just loud enough for us all to hear. "No pain. An end to sorrow, grief. Regret. Everything."
Carol is sobbing now, along with Sophia and then hold onto each other. I squeeze Daryl's arm and then let go, turning my full attention to my sister, who's also breaking down.
Nobody speaks a word. Caroline's tears are soaking through the shoulder of my t-shirt and I press my mouth against her shoulder to keep from letting out a cry of my own. I have to remain strong. For her sake. Just like I remained strong all my life for her. "I miss mommy," she whispers into my ear through choked sobs.
My eyes open and I stare blankly at the ground. Do I want mom? Do I want my dad? The people who abandoned Caroline and I at an early age, too obsessed with their careers to handle two young girls. The people who sat idly by as Caroline and I made our way through school, trudging a mile to the school bus in the mornings in freezing temperatures or pouring rain? The people who'd barely utter a word during one of our "family" dinners, and instead took to typing away on their Blackberry's, not proud when Caroline received an A on her spelling test or me, winning my first horse show with Dexter?
"I miss mom too," I say into Caroline's ear. And I do. Because at this moment, what I want more than anything is for her to come to us and make up for everything she had failed to do as a parent. I want her to make me feel safe. To make me feel like the world isn't on my shoulders. To let me cry into her shoulder and for her to whisper and tell me that everything would be okay. I deserve it. I deserve to feel vulnerable. I deserve to feel like a child for once in my life.
It's only moments later when Rick, Shane, Glenn, T-Dog and Daryl decide to attempt to break down the doors. They use mostly their fists. And their voices. "Open the damn door!" Daryl yells.
Shane hits the doors with an axe, and tosses Daryl another one, and together they hack away at the door, which doesn't really affect it at all.
The rest of us sit idly by, the kids still crying, the moms', and me of course, trying to calm them down. Andrea staring blankly ahead. I can hear my heart beating in my ears.
"You should've left well-enough alone it would've been so much easier," Jenner states coolly.
"Easier for who?" Lori spits.
"All of you. You know what's out there. A short, brutal, life and an agonizing death."
I stand up and release myself from Caroline's grasp, who scoots closer to Carol and Sophia, and turn to face the doctor. "Do you know what I've gone through?" I ask him, my voice surprising stable against my rapid heartbeat. He looks up at me, his eyebrows raised.
"I promised my mother that I would keep my sister safe," I tell him. "That I would spend every last moment fighting for her. This isn't a fight. This is giving up. You can't do this. If I go, I want to go down knowing there was nothing else I could do to save her."
He meets my gaze and we stare at each other for a moment. "There is nothing more you can do—"
"There's always something more! You don't know who's out there! Caroline and I have come across several healthy people! Not all hope is lost. Not yet," my voice shakes but I keep my chin high. Rick makes his way over to us and nods his head.
"This infection, it's a horrible thing," Jenner shakes his head. "Your sister," he turns to Andrea. "What was her name?"
"Amy."
"Amy. You know what this does. It's a horrible thing, do you really want this to happen to your wife and son?" he looks to Rick.
"I don't want this," Rick growls emphatically at Jenner.
Shane comes over and admits their defeat with the axes. I shut my eyes tight and stalk back over to Caroline.
"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher—"
"Well, yer head ain't!"
Daryl comes barreling through, axe raised, aimed at Jenner's head. "Whoa!" Rick yells, grabbing the rampant redneck, with Rick, Shane, Dale, T-Dog's help.
"And you do want this," Jenner says. "Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead."
This creates shocked looks from just about everyone in the group. Rick looks down at Lori who's eyes are stretched wide with confusion. "What? You really said that?" Shane asks. "After all your big talk?"
"I had to keep hope alive, didn't I?" Rick says. I don't blame him either. If he told us what he really thought, what we all really thought, we wouldn't of made it this far.
"There is no hope," Jenner retorts. "There never was."
"No, just like Aubrey said. Not all hope is lost," Rick counters, sharing a glance with me. "Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here, but there is somebody, somewhere!"
"What part of "everything is gone" do you not understand?" Andrea hisses angrily from her position on the ground. I stare in surprise at her.
"I told you," I start again, all eyes directing at me. "There are more people out there."
"Then where are they?" Andrea demands, narrowing her eyes.
"Tell them, Aubrey!" Caroline squeaks from the opposite side of the room. "Tell them about the camp!"
I feel my breath hitch in my throat. Rick cocks his head at me and I feel burning glares from all angles. I don't dare meet anyone's eyes. "Well?" Shane asks. "What camp?"
"I-We," I take a breath and struggle my nerves. "When the infection first broke out, people were starting to colonize. You know, create safe-havens and stuff. Me and Caroline met a Lieutenant from the army that promised a bunch of people security and a good place to stay. So, we followed him down here—"
"So that's where you came from!" Andrea shoots up and glares at me. "Why are we not there? I knew you were lying! You were lying the whole time!"
"I was going to tell you!" I snap back. "These people- they weren't good. The Lieutenant was an abusive man who only wanted power! He didn't care about any of us! We watched people die, he shot a woman through the head right in front of her children because she wanted more food for them! We had to get out!" I find I'm completely breathless and still staring at the ground when I finish, my chest pumping up and down, trying not to relive the moments I'd spent back at the camp. I blink and a tear falls down from my eye, and I wipe it away quickly.
"This camp might not have been the best place. But if Marks' was able to gather up people in hope for survival, then there have to be others, right?" I finish with some sort of optimism and finally meet Rick's eyes. Instead of being furious, like I'd imagined Shane and Andrea's were, and possibly Daryl's, they were soft and understanding. He'd kept his secret thoughts from us. Why shouldn't I be able to, too?
"See Jenner, there are more people out there," he says.
Before anyone can react, a gun is cocked off to the side. I hadn't even noticed Shane's disappearance, but he returns and starts straight for the doctor, the entire group protesting on what he's about to do.
"Open that door, or I'm gonna blow your head off, you hear me?"
"Brother, this is not the way to do this," Rick whispers frantically.
"Shane, you listen to him," Lori orders.
"It's too late," Shane mutters.
"He dies, we all—"
Shane lets out a screeching yell, completely drowning out Rick's reassuring tone and shoots the gun at one of the computers off to the side. I step backwards and see Caroline cover her eyes, squeezing her eyes shut in terror. Rick wrestles the gun from Shane and hits him across the face with it, knocking him down.
"You done now?"
"Yeah, I guess we all are," Shane mutters.
There's a short silence and then Rick turns back to the doctor. "I think you're lying. I think you're lying about no hope. If you didn't believe there was hope, you would've bolted like the rest of them. But you didn't. You stayed. Why."
"It doesn't matter."
The clock is ticking, and I find myself drifting away into my own thoughts, only hearing a part of their conversation. Something about how the test subject had been Jenner's wife. How she was the controller, the leader of the studies. She could've helped us. I run a hand through my hair and think about the only person who can possibly bring comfort me at a time like this. Reese.
"I'm so sorry," I mutter. "I'm sorry I failed you again."
Daryl walks back to the steel doors and begins hacking away. Most likely letting off steam and not expecting anything to come from it. I find myself walking towards Rick and Lori and Jenner. They look up as I walk towards them.
"Lieutenant Marks," he says. "I don't blame you for leaving."
My eyes perk up. "You knew him?"
"Knew of him. Once the outbreak occurred, the army and CDC sort of worked hand-in-hand. Heard he was rude. Merciless."
"He would've watched us die," I whisper, glancing towards Caroline.
"But you left."
"Not without struggle. It was the chance I had to take. It was my will to survive that lead me to them," I look up to Lori and Rick. "And it's my will to survive that will keep me going even now."
"Please," Lori adds, her voice frantic.
He considers this for a moment and then his muscles relax and he lets out a sigh.
"I told you. Topside's locked down. I can't open those." He walks over and scans his card, and then types in a code. The doors lift open.
"Come on!" Daryl shouts, dropping his axe and running out the door. We all follow in his lead. I stare down at Jenner gratefully and nod my head before turning and running after them. We all stop when we realize Rick isn't following. Jenner is whispering something into his ear. But then, they pull away from each other, and without a parting goodbye, Rick turns and sprints towards us, only to be stopped once again by a woman's voice.
"No, I'm staying!"
It's Jacqui.
"Are you insane?" T-Dog yells, trying to grab her arm.
"No, I'm completely sane. For the firs time in a long time. I'm not endin' up like Jim and Amy. I'm staying. No point or time to arguing. Just get out!"
We all stare momentarily, but then we turn and jog down the hallway, and out of this nightmare. Caroline is keeping pace beside me. And it's then that I realize Andrea isn't with us either.
"You go on with Carol, I'll be right back."
I turn on heel and sprint back and see Andrea still standing by Jenner, Dale facing her.
"Andrea!" I yell, making my way up to her. "Come on!"
"No, Aubrey. I'm staying."
"Andrea, no," Dale says.
I feel tears welling up in my eyes and can just barely hear Caroline yell my name from the hall. I know I have to go. "Please," I whisper to her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so rude to you. But I can't. You need to go. Both of you. Thank you," Andrea's eyes are glued to my own and I close the space between us and pull her into a hug.
"Reconsider. Please."
But she doesn't respond. So with one more longing look at the broken woman, I turn around and make up for lost time by sprinting as fast as I can to catch up to the others, who are just about to leave me and the rest of the stragglers behind. "Come on then," Rick says as I close the space, feeling a tear drift smoothly down my cheek.
"Wait, Dale," I turn back but he's not behind me.
"No time. We need to go," Shane says, not even second-guessing as we turn around. I look one last time but then fall into step beside Glenn who gives me a sympathetic glance.
We reach the top of the bulding, but nothing is opening the doors. It's weird how we're so close to freedom we can see it, yet so far. T-Dog fiddles with some buttons on the side of the building, but they don't work. So the men throw chairs and yell, just like they had just several minutes ago.
After a few moments of that, Carol's eyes brighten and she opens her bag, digging through and shouting for Rick. He walks over and she pulls it out. Our true savior. A grenade.
"I found this in the pocket of your uniform when I washed it back at camp."
Since when do they give Georgia sheriffs' grenades?
Rick takes it hesitantly and then tells us to hit the ground before he sets the grenade off, sprinting back just in time to avoid getting hurt. The glass shatters, and we all move instantly, running as fast as possible out the broken window and out into the field.
We run straight for the vehicles we'd left behind. We receive encouragement from Rick and Shane as they yell for us to keep going. With all my emotions mixing together, I find it somewhat difficult to breathe, but I press on. For Caroline.
We reach the cars and I hear someone shout my name. I turn towards the voice and see Daryl, opening the passenger door on his pickup truck. I shove Caroline inside and he gets into the driver's seat, while Caroline takes the middle and I take shotgun. He puts the key in and tries to start it when I see them.
"No way," I breathe. It's Andrea and Dale. They're racing towards the cars but I know time is almost out. And before I know what's happening, Daryl yells "Git down!", and all I can hear is the sound of an explosion.
It lasts for a few moments that begin to feel like hours, and when it's done, all I can hear is the sound of my heart beating in my ears. We all glance up almost at the same time. Andrea and Dale are safe. They got behind an obstacle just in time. I let out a breath of air. And then I look at the building, or what's left of it.
And as I watch the smoke billow up into the clouds, I shake my head. He really did it, I think.
He set the air on fire.
A/N: So wow! Probably the longest chapter I have ever written. Granted, most of it was part of the episode, with a few additions from me, but either way, I hope you liked it! A lot of things happened in this chapter. Just a shout out to all my readers and reviewers who make me smile each time I post a new chapter. Thank you all sooo much, and I really hope this chapter fulfills your expectations!
I figured this chapter title taken from Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift fit perfectly. Great song, too. :)
Please, don't forget to review, and once again, I hope you all like it!
-Maddie.
Oh and I know it's a little late for this, but I completely forgot my disclaimer. So here goes.
I do not under any circumstances own The Walking Dead in any way, shape, or form.
Review! : )