A/N: Thanks to Misery Loves Sarah and Fell4 who corrected my mistakes and made it more comfortable to read. I owe you something ;)

She hadn't heard from him in over four years. Time had passed by and Helen hadn't known if he was alive or not. The Sanctuary Network had kept her busy; there was never enough time to look for him. A small part of her had screamed for her to seek him out, to make sure he was breathing, but the other part, the sane part, the rational part of her mind had told her to forget him. It would save her from a lot of pain and emotional wreckage.

And so the struggle in her head continued. The fear of finding him dead had finally won, even if she never stopped thinking about him. More than once she had lain alone in her bed, tears in her eyes and loneliness in her heart. But now she was standing here and looking into his beautiful blue eyes. He stared back and Helen could tell from his face he was as surprised as she was.

Relief washed over her and made her dizzy. The world narrowed down to only the two of them as he hesitantly crossed the space between them. Helen had to keep her wits to stop herself from embracing him or slapping him…hard. She was willing to do both. After what seemed like an eternity Helen finally broke the silence between them.

"What are you doing here?" Much to her annoyance it didn't come out as angry as she had intended. To Helen the words sounded rather astonished and weak. He didn't need to know that she'd missed him. Quickly, Helen let a mask fall over her features to hide her true feelings.

John, who didn't miss Helen's change of expression, gave her a sad smile in return. "Am I not allowed to go where I want to? If it calms you down, I'm working here as a bodyguard. It's a good way to make money, plus I can use my abilities as a fighter."

Helen was surprised at the friendly tone of his voice. Unlike the last time she'd seen him, his whole body language radiated calmness. Her mind had been paralyzed from the relief of seeing him alive, so she hadn't given any attention to his clothing. Now, after he'd mentioned it Helen looked closer. John wore a black suit and matching black shoes. From the neckline to his right ear was a small communication device attached to receive orders. Under the fabric of his jacket Helen was able to make out a gun with a matching holster.

"Since when do you use a gun?" Helen hadn't intended to ask him that. 'Stupid question, Helen, stupid' she thought to herself while biting her tongue. She had thought him dead and had agonized between love and hate for him. But now, now she was seeing him again after four years and all she could come up with was asking him why he used a gun?

As Helen raised her gaze she could see John chuckle softly. Helen's stomach began to flutter at the sound. Why, she didn't want to think about. Still smiling he responded: "Perhaps I've changed my habits. Perhaps I just wear it for a ruse. But anyway, they expect me to carry it."

Helen just nodded in agreement and tried to look everywhere but John. Why wasn't she frightened? Why didn't she feel angry at him anymore? She shouldn't feel comfortable and, above all, shouldn't trust him. But something in his eyes, in his voice and his face, told her he wasn't dangerous. Truth be told he looked more like a nervous boy than a killer right now.

John nervously fumbled with his hands while he waited for Helen to regain her senses, to slap him and run away like he'd expected her to do since seeing her. When nothing happened he spoke instead: "What are you doing here? Are you meeting someone?"

Startled, Helen focused on his face again and thought about what she could expose. Finally, she decided to tell him of the problems they had to deal with since Hollow Earth.

John just looked at her. The way she used her hands to underline what she said. Her smile which he'd thought to never see again, not for him. Her blue eyes shimmering like crystals. And her dress, breathtaking. The dark-blue fabric complemented her hair and eyes just perfectly, making her look like an angel. Oh, how much he wanted to touch her, to tell her how beautiful she was.

'Wake up!' He mentally slapped himself. He was not her lover. She wouldn't even accept him as a friend. Her message in Hollow Earth had been clear. She didn't want him near the Sanctuary, near her. 'When this is done I never want to see you again!' These words had hurt, deeply. But he would never let it show. Therefore he had stayed away from her, even though it had been hard. And now, dammit, now he could feel the walls he had built around him falling down like a house of carts.

The whole time Helen didn't take her eyes off of him but instead memorized his features. She wanted to make sure he wasn't an illusion, a trick of her mind. He had hair now. It framed his face with dark-brown strands. His eyes were as blue as she remembered them. Suddenly she became aware of her surroundings again. Light music reached her ears and she couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"Shall we dance?" John stared at her, surprised. He'd expected something to happen, had prepared himself for the worst, but her request to dance with him caught him off guard. Was she playing with him? Helen knew his feelings and what this meant to him. Perhaps she would finally slap him when they were on the dance floor and tell him how stupid he was, thinking something had changed, but there was still hope in his heart. 'Maybe she doesn't hate you anymore' a voice in his head remarked. 'This could be your second chance!' Finally John took her hand full of hope this wasn't some game of hers, her revenge.

Helen couldn't believe what she'd just asked. What was she thinking? He wasn't good for her, had proven it many times. So, what was she doing right now? Her line of thought was cut off all of sudden as John took her hand. His touch unleashed a tingling feeling starting at her hand and spreading through her whole body. It made her change her mind. Why not? It was just a dance, right? They would just talk and everything would be fine.

He led her to the dance floor, into the crowd of dancing couples. Finally, they stopped and Helen laid her slightly shaking hand on his shoulder and brought herself into position once again. When John didn't do the same she looked up, confused, and was surprised to see unsteadiness in his eyes. She gave him an encouraging smile to let him know he could continue.

As John saw her giving him a warm smile he let out a shaky breath he didn't even know he was holding. So far so good. Slowly John placed his hand at her back and they began to move to the music. As they danced, everything disappeared, leaving nothing but the woman in front of him. John stared at Helen and just enjoyed being near her, dancing. It felt too good to be true. He didn't want to think about the consequences, about what would happen when the music stopped.

A bubble had formed around them and shielded them from the rest of the world. They both new, somewhere deep down, that even the smallest interruption and the bubble would burst. As the music slipped into a slower tempo, a romantic atmosphere was formed around them and Helen could feel control slipping away from her. The song was one of her favorites, a slow standard. She and John had often danced to it when they had been alone. Just hearing this song brought back all the memories Helen had locked away in her heart.

But instead of stopping, and she knew she should, Helen slowly closed the space between the two of them and laid her arms around his neck. She closed her eyes as she laid her head on his chest. Consumed by a powerful feeling she could hear John sighing and felt him pressing her against him.

Helen let herself get lost in John's arms. Her mind had gone silent and her heart had taken control now. She couldn't even remember why this was wrong. It felt far too good. In John's arms she could forget the stress, the loneliness and the pain, from losing not only Ashley, but him as well. She forgot their dramatic past, the pain about the death of friends she had lost and her anxious of being alone one day. He seemed to take the weight of responsibility off her shoulders which pushed her down every day. She leaned in closer and exhaled his scent, surprised about the familiarity. She could feel his glance on her and smiled to herself like a child. He was warm and Helen felt safe. Why did it feel so right being in his arms?

Suddenly the loud noise of a tablet falling to the ground and the following swear of one of the waitresses made her jump in surprise. The spell over them broke as she raised her head from his chest and the reality crashed down at her. Her mind took control again while her heart began to lock itself away once more. A place where it was safe and couldn't be hurt by anyone. Helen jerked away from John, pushing him back harshly. She looked up and saw the hurt and sadness in John's eyes. Almost like he was again the man she...'No, people like him don't change.' Her emotions running high, she tried to convince herself of this fact.

But the truth was, Helen didn't want to accept how much she needed this man. How weak she was when it came to him, how vulnerable. Even after just a few minutes of dancing being divided from him again was hard. What would happen if she would let him into her heart and he turned violent and disappeared again? Could she stand the hurt?

John knew it was over as he felt her jerk away from him; like he was toxic. He continued to stay where he was and looked at her, waiting for a reaction. He'd known somewhere deep down it was only been a matter of time before she woke up. Despite that, John had hoped otherwise. Her face was now hard without any emotion. He could feel it now, could feel the desperation flood his mind.

"I'm sorry, this was a mistake!" Helen was surprised at how steady and cold her voice sounded. She had to go, had to put some space between them or she'd change her mind eventually. And she couldn't do that. She wasn't so weak to fell back in his arms now. No! She had to be strong. She couldn't take the risk of being hurt by him a second time.

John said nothing, just stared at her. It had begun so great. Why was everything falling down now?

"I shouldn't have asked you to dance. That was stupid of me." Helen could see John reach out for her arm as a familiar voice called her name.

"Helen?" Robert asked confused. She turned around and saw him coming through the crowd, two glasses and a plate of food in hand. His usual soft smile had disappeared and he gave Helen a worried look.

"Who is this, darling? Someone I should know?" John didn't move. He didn't even look at the man who stood far too close to Helen for his liking. John only waited for what she'd answer, waited for his end.

"He's…he is one of the bodyguards…who is working here." The trembling of her voice and her turning her gaze to the ground made his mind ring in alarm. What had happened between the two of them? He had come just in time to see her pushing the stranger away from her.

"Why did you push him? Did he do something?" He looked at the other man whose face was as emotionless as it had been when he had first come over. Why wasn't he gone by now? If he did anything improper he was going to regret it. Robert moved to stand securely beside her. As he looked down he could see Helen clenching her wrists hard. What was going on here?

"Have you seen him before? I mean, do you know him?" Robert took her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Helen, I want an answer. Do you know him?"

"No," Helen answered without thinking. Still overwhelmed by emotions and feelings she wasn't capable to control yet she just didn't want to be questioned about John. It would screw everything up again. Helen just wanted to go and be alone.

Her answer hit John directly in his heart. He was so stupid. How could he think she'd have any feelings for him? Him, the killer, her nightmare, her enemy! She'd just played with him and he'd let her. Perhaps this man was even her boyfriend. If he didn't stop now he'd never survive the hurt which would follow after she let him alone again.

As Helen turned to look back at John to tell him she was sorry, he was gone, vanished into thin air. With wide open eyes she stared at the place where he'd stood only seconds before. Robert called her name twice but she didn't react. Helen just turned again and fought her way through the crowd toward the exit, leaving Robert and the other guests behind.

This was my first longer chapter and I'd be very happy if somebody leaves me a comment ;)