Hell, Chapter 3
By Simahoyo
Angela's immediate reaction was quite interesting. She held two expressions on her face at once. Her lips were thinned with disbelief, but her eyes held sorrow. Maura hadn't expected that at all.
"What are you feeling, Angela?"
"I knew you had a temper. Your mother and I have compared notes on our kids. She also said that you have put a lot of work into overcoming your anger. I don't hold all this against you, because this week has been hell for you. And I don't really blame Jane, either. I'm flummoxed. You were both wrong. And both right"
"How do I fix this?", Maura then mentally kicked herself. She was supposed to do her own cleanup.
"I don't know. She'll throw away anything you send her. She won't talk to you.. I'm not sure she'll listen to me..."
"Frankie?"
"He's on her side. Firmly."
"Oh." Maura looked at her hands. "She won't listen to Tommy. Mom is in no shape to help with this. She doesn't know Dad."
"What about Vince?"
Maura felt a sun break in her cloudy life. "That could work. If he's speaking to me."
"I have some pull with him. I'll get him to call you. And Maura, finish that pancake."
To her surprise, Maura actually felt like eating it.
Vince Korsak called her around noon. Angela worked fast. He was distant at first. Careful of what he said. Maura understood, since he had been there, and probably had his own viewpoint on the whole mess. As they talked, Maura felt him relax a bit.
"Doc, Jane is really hot under the collar over the whole thing. She was really getting close to Agent Dean, and boom, he was gone. Then you, exploded, I guess, which nobody expected. We all kinda thought you didn't want anything to do with Doyle. What happened?"
Maura thought before she answered. "I suspect it was a combination of what had happened to my mother and knowing my only chance of finding out who my birth mother was just blown up in front of me. I know I was selfish. I also think none of you knew the trouble I've had controlling my temper over the years."
Korsak grunted something wordless. Maybe he was upset, maybe he was trying not to react.
"Yeah, well, we sure found out about that. Wow. I'm glad I'm not on your bad side."
"I can imagine. I really need to apologize to Jane, but if she refuses to allow me any contact with her...I don't know how to do this." Maura was afraid she was sounding–what? A little childish, maybe.
"Jane is never going to allow you near her until someone tries to get her attention. I think a baseball bat might work."
"Oh no, I don't want to hurt her."
"Doc, I just meant we need to get her to listen and it won't be easy."
"Do you have any ideas, because I don't."
"Let me try, and then I'll report back to you. How long are going to be gone?"
"Until my mother is better."
"Oh...uh, well, just so you know, Pike is driving everyone crazy."
"I don't have any choice as to when I come back. Dr. Cavanaugh made herself very clear on that.
"Oh. You might want to chat with Yoshima later."
"That bad?"
"They have a dart board in Yoshima's office with Pike's picture on it. Literally."
"Oh. That is not good. Please keep me up to date. And thank you for your help."
They said their goodbyes, and Maura drove back to the hospital. She had been gone too long, and was worried. Jane had playfully dubbed her, "Maura, Worrier Princess", but the reference had eluded her until Jane had explained the pun. Jane. Thinking of her made Maura feel as if her roots had been pulled from the ground.
Her dad cracked the door to her mother's room and slipped out into the hall. Maura felt a jolt of concern. Her hand went to her chest.
"What happened? You look ..."
"Kiddo, she caught the news story on Doyle's death."
Maura's knees almost went our from under her. "My God! How did she take it?"
"Not well at all. I finally calmed her down–some. Just be careful of what you say."
"Of course. Am I supposed to know what I know?"
"We didn't get to that. Our whole world has gone to crap.", He looked sick.
Maura hugged him, then opened the door to her mother's hospital room.
"Hi Mom. I'm sorry I was so late getting here." Even she could hear the false note of cheer in her voice.
Constance turned in her bed, and looked at her daughter. Her face had lost all animation.
"J'ai manqué votre terriblement."
Maura went to her and wrapped her arms around her mother. "Je vous aime, et je suis désolé d'être en retard."
"Maura, a friend of mine was killed recently."
"Oh Mama, I'm sorry about that." Maura held her mother's hand.
"He lived a dangerous life. I expected this to happen someday."
"But not now?", Maura looked directly at her mother.
"Have you ever felt as if everything was falling on you all at once?"
"Yes. But my mother came all the way to Uganda to help me and bring me home. I never properly thanked you for that."
"You are a gift to me. I should have remembered that. I'm so sorry I reacted the way I did."
Maura looked at her feet. She was a bit embarrassed, but didn't want to appear ungrateful.
"I think we are too much alike in some ways." Maura ended the statement with a huge smile.
"Oh we can argue–can't we? Your poor father. Whenever he heard French and raised voices, he tried to hide."
"I remember. I was an obnoxious teenager."
"Cheri, all teenagers are obnoxious. You were no exception. My only problem was that you spent your life three years ahead of anyone your own age. The emotions of your actual age were not appropriate to those of your classmates. You were walking a tightrope. And outbursts were to be expected. Then you got stuck with a hot-tempered mother."
"I learned to hold my own. I learned some rules of engagement. I learned some new words."
Constance looked away. "Not something to be proud of."
"What gets me in trouble is forgetting the rules."
"What are you not telling me, Maura?"
Maura tried to look away, but her mother moved her face so they were eye to eye.
"Maura. What are you keeping quiet about?"
Maura gave up. "I had a terrible argument with Jane. I'm trying to work it out." Maura found herself wringing her hands, and stopped.
"I'm sorry, Cheri."
"So am I. It was the best friendship I ever had. I let my rotten temper ruin it. I have someone trying to—get me an audience with her."
Constance laughed. "She is not the Pope. She was your closest friend."
"I need a time machine, so I can go back and fix it. It's not scientific. I feel myself reverting to childish thoughts. I want there to be magic, a way to wave a wand and make all my mistakes go away."
"Don't we all. The hardest work I have ever experienced is trying to fix my mistakes. I've made so many, and I have been so proud. I didn't want to admit I was wrong. As a result, I spent ten years almost estranged from you. Will you forgive me."
Maura's mouth opened into a perfect O. Her head was tilted to one side.
"We were both wrong. I don't think you need to be forgiven."
Both mother and daughter were criers, so tears flowed freely.
By the time Maura left for home, she felt as if the sun had come out inside the hospital.
End chapter 3.