Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck, or anything else mentioned in this story.

Hey, I just wanted to say that you're probably the best people I've ever had the pleasure of being in contact with! Thanks~

H~

"All right, training time!" Terezi dropped one of Karkat's boxes on the gray carpeting and it made a horrible crunching noise.

Karkat looked up from one of his few possessions he was unpacking, "Training? What the hell do you mean 'training'? We're not even done unpacking yet!" He gestured to the measly three boxes around him and realized that it was a badly formed excuse.

He was just really nervous about Terezi's training regime. What would a psychotic blind girl do for training? The thought made him shudder.

"Karkles, Karkles, Karkles...you'll realize soon enough just how big the difference between being able to swim well, and being able to swim fucking amazing is! Especially when hunting a mad scientist on a boat...surrounded by sharks."

He looked at her, trying to push the interest in her story down, "You're fucking with me, right?"

She only grabbed her walking cane and ran down the expansive halls to who the hell knows where, "He he he..." Her maniacal laughter faded away.

The young man sighed and got off his knees, observing the work done already. His new room in Terezi's house was nearly finished. His bed had sheets, and his drawer had clothes. All that was left was a couple family photos. 'Why can't she just wait five damn minutes to finish one fucking job!'

Karkat jogged down the hall, leaving the bland looking room.He needed to hurry to catch her, easily losing her in this huge house.

H~

"So, explain it to me again, how the hell will this work?"

Karkat was standing in Terezi's backyard. And looked around while waiting to get further instruction. The place was huge! Probably even bigger than his old backyard times three. There were trees everywhere, and he thought he heard a waterfall somewhere of in the distance...

With Terezi, he wouldn't be surprised. She always had strange things in her house that a normal blind person wouldn't have any use for. Like books, or pictures. In fact, half of what was in her house didn't make sense for a blind person to own.

"Like I said, you put on this camouflage and hide in the forest while I try to impale you with these flaming arrows." Then again, Terezi wasn't a 'normal' anything, "If you catch fire there's a pool around here somewhere." She paused, expecting an answer.

Karkat was fucking speechless. He knew it was useless. He knew he shouldn't have put his hopes of becoming a bounty hunter on one batshit crazy, blind, bounty hunter!

Why was he so stupid?

"No. No, no, no, NO!" Karkat crossed his arms, "This is insane! Are you fucking crazy? Wait don't answer that. Of course you are!"

Terezi put on a practiced pout and sniffed the air, "Karkat you're acting like a baby. Fine, don't wear the camo, but I still get to shoot you with the flaming arrows."

When he still didn't respond she sighed and said, "Fine, but if you win you'll get a prize..." Temptations, temptations...

This piqued his interest, "W-what prize? Not like I'm gonna do it anyways..."

Another shit-eating grin from Terezi and he knew there was no backing out, "I'll teach you the biggest secret I know."

She sounded like a fucking kid!

"Are you kidding me? The biggest secret you know isn't worth getting my ass burnt over and over again."

"It's something you've been wondering about, you know, like how I haven't been arrested or executed for my 'disability'" She put air quotes around the word 'disability' for some reason.

Now that she said it, that particular question was bugging him rather hard. He had studied the government closely, and knew so much about the laws he thought the bounty hunters followed. Could he have missed one? Was there some hidden law about disorders he hadn't discovered yet? In fact, why wasn't she executed?

"You can't tell me you're not interested. I can practically smell it on you." In his pondering, Karkat didn't notice how close she had gotten. Terezi licked his cheek, dangerously close to his mouth.

"T-ter...Terezi..." He wasn't afraid, just confused. Why was she licking him? He had seen her lick things before, paintings, books, etc, but he had never been licked by her. This was definitely new.

Then she whispered, "Hey, Karkat, just so you know: You taste delicious." That was it.

Karkat was gone, running towards the woods. He didn't know why he was so jumpy around her. She was older than him, yeah. By about three years. But, that didn't seem to matter. Was he attracted to her? No. He couldn't be. For fucks' sake, they met two days ago!

Then the flaming arrows came. One hit the tree right to him, 'What the fuck!' Karkat sped up, weaving through trees, trees, and more trees. Unknowingly, he had just started the training.

"Oh shit!"

H~

"Hmm?" Sollux Captor sat in his living room, sipping a cup of lemon tea, watching a lifetime movie at four in the afternoon. Something about a killer rapist and an abusive husband. Very predictable. Very addicting.

He had heard Karkat's screams of panic and he felt like it was partially his fault for introducing him to Terezi. But, seriously, it was probably for the best.

And, he didn't have time to even contemplate feeling guilty. The show was back on and the killer was going to be revealed! Why was he so excited about this?

'Thorry, Karkat. You're on your own.'

H~

Yay! I don't why I want to present Sollux as a romantic softy. I can't help it, I guess!