It had barely been five minutes but it felt like too long to Hikaru. Five minutes was a long time when you were running in blind terror. But he'd found him.
Huddled underneath a tree, shaking and tinged blue. It wasn't the best position he could have been in but it was preferable to the images that had been flicking through his head; a constant, unrelenting slideshow of fear, accompanied by the never ceasing voice of "This is your fault."
Hikaru grabbed Kaoru, pulled him close with one arm whilst shaking off his coat with the other. He was soaked through as well but it didn't deter him from wrapping the thin material around his brother.
He realised they weren't that far from the church he'd originally been in. The irony of it- that all that time he'd only been a few minutes away when he'd been charging everywhere in blind panic.
He lifted Kaoru, struggling slightly under his weight but determination pushed him on.
He was so focused on his brother, he didn't notice the pouring stream of tears running off his chin.
Once inside, he dragged the shivering younger twin into a sitting position and held his face tightly between his hands.
"Have you taken any pills?" Fright distorted his voice, as did the relentless crying.
A shake of the head.
"Have you… Have you hurt yourself?" Hikaru stumbled over the words. He couldn't quite bring himself to ask "Have you cut yourself?"
Another shake, but more hesitant this time.
Hikaru dialled Tamaki's number, all the while clinging to Kaoru.
He must've managed to stutter out the right words, for it was only a few minutes before a car arrived to take them back to the hotel. Thankfully, none of the club accompanied the taxi.
Back in their room, Hikaru set about fixing his mess.
He stripped Kaoru down to his underwear, flinging the wet clothes of the floor, dressing him in dry, comfy clothes and swaddling him in the duvet. Only then did he dry himself.
If he had been paying more attention, he would have realised he'd dressed Kaoru in his own t-shirt and pajama bottoms and taken his brother's matching ones for himself.
After that, he sat on the bed behind Kaoru, holding him tightly and burrowing his face in his twins hair.
It was only a few seconds before Kaoru turned around, clutched at Hikaru's t-shirt and began to cry. Heart-breaking, wrenching sobs that shook both of their bodies and made Hikaru's chest ache.
"I'm so sorry Kaoru."
Because now, with nothing to hide any of their emotions, he could see the real pain Kaoru was in. The t-shirt showed off the superficial cuts on his arms and although they were scarce and small, they were still there.
A gasping noise was emitted as Kaoru halted his crying. Hikaru tightened his grip.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. It was me; it was my feelings that did this."
"I-I don't understand…Isn't this because of me and Haruhi?"
A low exhale of pain as Kaoru winced at the memories.
"Yes… but...not in the way you think…"
And with that, it all came out.
Everything.
The twins had always known that they loved each other. Even when they were little, there had been no sibling rivalry or fighting. They knew they had each other and each other was all they had.
But as teenagers it changed.
The introduction of Haruhi had changed it the most.
Both of them knew they shared the attraction to her. They didn't speak about it, but there was an unwritten rule that the first one who could get to her, got her.
Secretly, Kaoru knew he would never win this competition. No matter what happened, he would always put Hikaru first.
And that was exactly what he had done with the date today.
Despite what he knew, despite that they were already secretly together, he still wanted Hikaru to notice what he was doing. Giving her up. Because maybe, just maybe, if Hikaru noticed then he'd realise just how much Kaoru was willing to give up for him.
Seeing Haruhi and Hikaru, knowing that they'd just had sex made him feel sick. Not because it was them, but because it wasn't him and Hikaru. Then that made him feel even worse because it was so, so wrong and besides, Hikaru didn't like him that way and it was just so messed up.
Pushing him away had hurt, but not as much as it would have if he'd stayed close.
"So all this time… you let me think you were into Haruhi…"
"It was better than the alternative." Kaoru's voice was cold. Now that he'd stopped crying, his emotions had shut down, leaving him detached and hard-eyed.
Before either twin had time to react, Hikaru's lips were pressed firmly against Kaoru's.
They remained there for several seconds before Kaoru shoved him away, his tawny eyes rapidly refilling with tears.
"Kaoru, listen to me. I'm not doing this because I pity you or because I want you to feel better. I'm doing this because I'm pretty sure I love you. Because Haruhi was an experiment to see if I could transfer my feelings. Because her body leaves me cold and unexcited and the one time we actually tried to do it- which I know you know about- I had to think about you to get it over with. Because I only went on this date, this stupid, stupid date today because you were so insistent even though all I really wanted to do was stay here and make sure you were okay."
Kaoru blinked rapidly a few times, trying to make sense of it all. Then he narrowed his eyes and spoke thoughtfully.
"If you break my heart again, Hikaru Hitachiin, you will have hell to pay."
All Hikaru could feel was relief. His twin, his love was okay. He'd promised to stop the self-harming so Hikaru could relax and not have to panic that every time he went to the bathroom, he was trying to end his life.
They had spoken to Haruhi together and she was more than happy to let them be. She'd known from the start that this would indefinitely be the outcome but had wanted to test how long it took for them to realise it.
She was happy house-training Tamaki, who, at the excitement of having his little girl back and out of the evil clutches of the twins, was bounding around like an over-excitable puppy.
The brothers slept in each other's arms now. Kaoru continued to look out for Hikaru, but sometimes now the reverse happened. Hikaru was learning- slowly, but still- that sometimes he had to think of others before himself.
And that he was also not allowed to give Kaoru obnoxious and conspicuous love bites wherever he could because it earned him a slap.
Neither one of them mentioned that day, or the events leading up to it. The only time they thought about it was in the privacy of their own heads if they accidently walked in on Haruhi changing.
It happened more often than you would think, much to Tamaki's annoyance.
But even then, they'd simply go and find each other and make out a little in order to relieve their brains of "those filthy girl images."