I've taken the more controversial introduction I originally had in here out so that this story doesn't start with a bunch of static for you... I'm warning you all, however... Despite the fact that I've toned the critique in this rewrite WAY down in here (as opposed to the other version of this on my blog) because I realize "this place" is just for stories (THANKS Fanfiction!); there are a few things scattered throughout this that I just don't have time to go through and take out. I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a break. I wasn't planning on this latest Twilight whirlwind happening - I had a completely different objective when I wrote this.
I'm not apologizing for that... Just warning you because the INTENTION is different now. This is readable for everyone. I DO give Stephenie Meyer credit where credit is due. If I DIDN'T think she doesn't deserve a healthy does of that; I WOULDN'T have taken the time to DO all this, ha!
Please NOTE: This is a COMPLETE rewrite summary of The Twilight Saga: ReVAMPED & ReWOLFED. As such, it will not read like a novel (except for Chapter 1: First Sight, so you can get a taste of what this rewrite would have been like). However, there are MANY twists and turns to tickle and inspire your imagination about ALL of Stephenie's pretty characters.
Also... I don't go through and completely rewrite this when I put update this up here. Every place that "looks" like there should be a link to it, DOES have a link on my blog.
First, Some Details... Things Bella & Edward Will Learn About Each Other
If you haven't read the Chapter 1 First Sight Rewrite, you might want to read that first - the summary starts after this. Since I'm not actually rewriting Twilight ReVAMPED, I think it helps to be familiar with these things before you get to the rest of the summary.
Bella will learn that the Cullen's buy and "re-animate" Human blood for their needs so that they don't have to kill people. They also hunt animals to satisfy their internal cravings for violence.
We would have to FIX Stephenie's Vampires... If you haven't read my Dissertation on Vampire Lore, I go into the details surrounding this issue and WHY it is important, in there.
They would NOT be "vegetarian" Vampires. Vampires are ALL ABOUT THE BLOOD, so we would take them back to being REAL-MAKE-BELIEVE Vampires. (Again, the kind we were ALL expecting.)
Carlisle is an older Vampire than the others by around a couple hundred years, I'm not sure. We know that he spent some time with the Volturi in his past, probably in an attempt to learn about himself. But, it obviously wasn't the life he wanted, so he eventually chose to leave.
The World was still relatively young however (no technology to create a substitute for what he needed, like "True Blood"); and Carlisle would have NEEDED to feed ON HUMAN BLOOD. He would probably have SUPPLEMENTED his diet with animals - hunting them and killing them would have satisfied some of those primal desires within his Vampire nature and he would get SOME nutrients from them - BUT, he would need more.
But he was a nice Vampire who didn't like to kill... WHAT would he resort to?
Snacking on Humans when he needed to at first, maybe? His conscious hated to kill them, so it made it easier for him to stop before they died. REAL make-believe Vampires can't change you just by biting you and/or draining your blood - there is NO SUCH THING as "venom" within their bodies - they NEED to give you some of their own blood at the point when you are almost dead - in order for the change to be completed.
While it is TRUE that he would kind of had to attack Humans to accomplish this (BAD Carlisle!); I'm SURE this Vampire would have figured out a way for it to be the least harmful to them. In other words, I DOUBT he would have terrified them, first. Maybe he would simply have seduced them, who knows?
A Vampire seduction doesn't necessarily mean a sexual seduction. In fact, it seldom does. (Although it always feels like it to the Human, ha!) They often use seduction as a way to sort of paralyze their prey - and YES, Carlisle's children would have HAD to resort to this until they got their live-Human-blood substitute worked out.
HOWEVER, since they were not nearly as able to resist Human blood as Carlisle was - in order for them to be able to stop, he MAY have "harvested" blood for the others for awhile until they had this solved (at first, anyway - actually feeding off of Humans themselves, without killing them was maybe something they each worked up to).
After his family started growing, he probably felt a strong desire to make it easier for THEM to be able to resist killing Humans, too. Because of his power of compassion (which, I thought was a BRILLIANT idea for a "power" for a Vampire); Carlisle would not have wanted to be responsible for unleashing ravenous monsters of DEATH onto the world.
Vampires don't need to eat three square meals a day like Humans do. If we were to put things into perspective... In order to feel satiated (they COULD eat less), they each maybe only NEED to eat 2-4 whole Humans a month (however amount of blood that adds up to, ha!) A Vampire without a soul/conscience would probably indulge in more than that.
HOW could Carlisle feed off Humans like that with the conscience he has? Because he's been around for awhile and he knows what he is - NOT a monster. I think he would come to see himself as a creature who has no less right to live in this world as any other one. And IF he really was a spiritual man before he was changed, he may have sort of a "this was how it was meant to be" attitude about the Vampire he's turned into.
ALSO, when he was a Human he ate cattle and pigs and chickens, etc. And how much different are things from his perspective now - at least, he's not KILLING Humans to eat them. (Melina made me think of all this stuff in her "Logic Belongs in Fiction" video.) Incidentally... Just because he is feeding and/or harvesting blood from Humans DOESN'T mean that the experience is necessarily painful or unpleasant for them. Perhaps he feels, in that regard, that he is "giving them something" in return. ;)
This behavior and way-of-life would ALSO have BUILT UP Carlisle's resistance to Human blood. It would have been the reason WHY he was eventually able to become a Doctor.
And EVENTUALLY - probably decades after he had changed Edward, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett - he uses his advanced finances along with his medical & scientific knowledge (probably with the help of his family - if I remember correctly, EDWARD has a few medical degrees of his own, doesn't he?); they would have come up with a way to synthesize what they need - BUT, in a somewhat unusual way! (We don't want to steal ideas from "True Blood", do we, ha?)
The Cullen's don't NEED to hunt... They do it SOLELY to satisfy their cravings to hunt. It makes sense that Emmett & Edward would go Bear & Mountain Lion hunting - of COURSE they would do that!
But, think Frankenstein... Carlisle has figured out a way to essentially re-animate or "bring back to life" the soul-essence within dead blood - the STUFF they NEED from us Humans to keep them from going insane with lust.
They could easily find a way to buy Human blood in bulk with their millions & millions, and "re-animate" it for their needs. I see it set up somewhere as a huge basin or tub of some sort - probably in the basement.
I've seen Bella right after she is changed into a Vampire crawling into it like the soothing bathtub it would no-doubt seem to her. Alice joins her. It's a HYSTERICAL scene, ha! (And can't you just hear Rosalie saying, "I am NOT going to drink that, now!")
This "fix" will actually go a long way toward ALSO explaining the Vampire-Human hybrid baby later. If you want to skip ahead for that explanation - CLICK HERE.
Edward also EXPLAINS HIS PRETTY SPARKLES! He DOES sparkle in the sun, but it is a fairly-quick, yet gradually-building thing that happens as a reaction to sunlight. BECAUSE he is soul-less and "dark" inside; his ENTIRE BODY is devoid of "life in general" - it craves and consumes sunlight MUCH LIKE his body craves the "soul-essence" of Humans because they have no soul. (What little soul the Cullens may have now as Vampires works differently - we'll get to that, later.)
In other words, this would be a PHYSICAL result of a Human losing their soul by being turned into a Vampire. The soul is connected to BOTH the body AND the spirit. Since their bodies are lacking in a soul, they are completely lacking in the "life of sunlight" - which, most physical life on this planet needs. A Vampire body will hoard & store sunlight in receptors in his "marbled-leathery" skin (much like a solar panel, someone pointed out, ha). When these receptors start to overload - they sparkle!
It is at THIS POINT that a Vampire is the MOST STRONG - as strong as any newborn (especially if they are also satiated with Human blood)! BUT, it doesn't last very long and it probably depends alot on a Vampire's age and/or how these receptors have been used throughout their lives. These things determine each Vampire's sparkle time; amount of strength they gain; and how long they can stay in the sun.
For instance, an OLD Vampire who has remained a creature of the night their entire life would be incredibly strong (even moreso than your basic newborn because of their older, stronger internal mystical essence) on the few occasions they may need to be in the sun.
An old Vampire who has indulged in a fairly "normal" life in the sun would be a little more consistently-stronger in their daily life because of it; BUT they would have a harder time coming to a zenith during a battle if they ever needed to. They would really only be able to count on the strength they are already used to having. I HOPE that makes sense, ha!
Vampires have about 2-5 hours of "gaining/utilizing" sunlight strength. And while they can stay in the Sun for awhile after that, they will become weaker. It could be a form of torture for them - their skin would go beyond sparkling and glow brighter and brighter until the sunlight finally consumes them. It would be an agonizing death for them.
Some of the greatest Vampire battles throughout make-believe HISTORY have been fought at high-noon and lasted less than an hour!
How's that? ;
Since our Bella is such a sun-lover as a Human, I really don't see her staying away from it much after she is changed into a Vampire (even though she's supposed to, ha!) I always think of Bella when I hear Cheryl Crow's song, "Soak Up the Sun" (and now that I'm listening to it again, her and Edward's love story, in general, ha!).
That's Ok, Bella won't need to be worried as much about losing her zenith if she ever needs it. She has another zenith, and besides - she's surrounded by a pretty strong cadre of Vampires no matter what comes up. Also... If Vampires KNOW they have a battle coming up, they can stay out of the sun ahead of time; and doing that could cause them to reach a zenith during a "Sun Battle". ;)
The Cullen's Explain WHY They Have a Conscience! (this will probably happen in the NEW MOON rewrite) EVEN though they are supposed to be soul-less Vampires! (Ok, someone has already clued me in that SM DID go into this in detail - apparently, Alice explains this to Bella when they go to Phoenix. Good. I'm NOT saying that SM didn't get ALOT of things RIGHT; and since I haven't read the books, we are probably going to overlap, at times, ha!
PLEASE, you are WELCOME to point out any ignorant mistakes to me - I'm sure there are MANY since I have not read the books. If I wasn't such a Vampire Lore fanatic AND I appreciated being debunked like this - I wouldn't be making such a big hairy deal, ha!
The subject of their consciousnesses IS a big deal, because that's what Vampires ARE - SOULLESS! However any other version explains this, this is how *I* would have explained it:
NORMALLY, when a Human is changed into a Vampire, their soul is completely annihilated in the transformation - ALL they are is body and spirit now, they have NO SOUL to filter anything through. They are RAW, primal, formerly-Human, "ANGEL-DEMONS" with NO conscience!
In Midnight Sun - Stephenie's Twilight rewrite from Edward's perspective - I remember her skirting a possible reason for The Cullen's to have a conscience - although at the time, it didn't seem very clear so maybe it wasn't something she had entirely fleshed out in her mind, yet. AND she may go into this subject deeper within her saga - which, I have not read.
THIS is what *I* was going to do with her little idea... Because of this previous, deeply-spiritual life - when Carlisle was changed into a Vampire; part of his soul had already been fused with his spirit, so "not all" of his soul could be destroyed by the transformation. And THUS, when HE changes someone - it enables that person to keep a "slice of THEIR soul" and enough of a conscience to not want to be a total monster.
Alice & Jasper both have their own reasons for retaining a portion of their consciences, so it IS POSSIBLE for Vampires, right?
Bella will learn that Edward can read minds - and that it drives him crazy that he can't read hers. We will ALL ALSO LEARN that EVEN though he can't read her mind, he CAN SEE HER DREAMS when she is sleeping! (This little nugget will come in handy, later.)
Edward will learn a deep, dark secret of Bella's... It is the reason behind her incredible insecurities. Despite that Bella seems to have a very healthy relationship with both of her parents in the first chapter; we will learn that Bella accidentally and inadvertently overheard a phone conversation between her parents when she was very young surrounding custody issues between them.
Her mother wanted to go on vacation with some guy - and Charlie was apparently opposed to taking Bella "off her hands" just to make it convenient for Renee to go. The conversation got a little mean, and Bella's feelings were deeply hurt at the time. And even though she knows that her parents both love her, she has never been able to shake the feeling that IF they had known better - they would probably have chosen not to bring her into this world.
Edward PROMISES Bella that he will NEVER LEAVE her. (Yeah, that will come in extra-handy in TWO different places - the New Moon rewrite AND in Breaking Dawn. Bella would rather DIE than feel about this baby the same way she feels her parents felt about her.)
The Baseball scene is still in here somewhere (except no vamp trio disruption). It would be the perfect place to insert some "Cullen family dynamics"; and besides, HOW could this story be Twilight without Vampires playing baseball, LoL! There are MANY things within Stephenie's version of Twilight that really really should NOT be tampered with - if anything, elaborated on! I think Twilight's Vampire populations should have their own LEAGUE, ha!
The Voltaire Vultures
The Cullen Cuties
The Nomadic Nemesis'
Edward & Bella's First Kiss I thought it was a pretty good scene in the movie and I've read it, but I don't remember it. I'm really not sure how it would have written it; but Bella makes this observation in the end: "It's a good thing that you are the Vampire, Edward. Because if *I* was the Vampire and you were the Human... You'd be dead by now." ;)
At some romantic point, Bella will give Edward her journal that she has just finished, the one she started at the beginning of Chapter 1, so he can "see her thoughts". That starts a tradition between them that literally lasts forever. She hands him a filled journal and he hands her a new one, ha! She also begins to expand on her thoughts in a more descriptive way, just because she knows Edward will be reading it, later. She also does things like leave him little notes "just for him" among the pages of her journal.
Bella will STOP WRITING in her journal after Edward leaves because of this; it has almost become another way they communicate, and it is painful for her to write in it. Throughout the version of this saga, Bella eventually comes to really understand "how Edward thinks" even though she can't read minds like he can. She's a very perceptive, sensitive young lady.
Twilight - Book One - The Rewrite Summary
This is taking off from the Chapter 1 First Sight Rewrite, so you should probably read that, first.
The harrowing part of the story has already started in Chapter 1 of this rewrite - Vampires are persistent and this is a game to them. There will NOT be a bunch of silly, inexplicable things that happen to Bella for no other reason than for Edward to save her - there is a REASON why she needs to be protected at the moment. There will also not be several chapters between every attack on Bella, especially at this beginning - until our evil Vamp trio figure out they are up against very specialized Vampires. It won't take them long.
1) Bella's First Day of School & Interactions with Forks Townsfolk
Bella would have done the stuff that we would expect - go to that first day of school and meet kids all that week who are far more interested in her than she wants them to be. Bella's "first day" would have been more about her "first week" of school.
Bella would NOT have had to take a typical PE course. I don't know how High School works nowadays, but we had options - EVEN in my little dinky midwest school - for alternative Junior & Senior PE classes. Bella is going to take BOWLING (yes, I looked it up, Forks has a bowling alley!) - and yeah, she'll STILL hate it, ha!
The Cullens would be partially home-schooled - which does a better job of explaining all their absences. The Cullens would NOT be able to take as many days off from school and skip classes as often as they do as regularly enrolled students - NOT without being more underhanded in the way they do it.
You could expect Bella meeting these new friends at school to be somewhat uneventful in the beginning - more getting to know a couple of them and LESS classmates falling ridiculously all over her. And while there may have been a few people more than a little interested in Bella because this is a small town and that's just the way small town people are - curious, especially about new people - those scenes would have been more "normal" and Bella would have had a "more shy" attitude surrounding those scenes. Her entire demeanor would have been more - and actually - shy.
The ONLY person who might have been nudging her with regards to doing things like going to a dance or out on a date would have been JACOB (simply because she wouldn't be letting many people get THAT close to her. She will make it clear that she is a loner from the beginning - although she WOULD have made a couple of friends. MANY friends is NOT Bella's style).
But, Jake wouldn't be hounding her yet. However, Bella would have discovered within the first 3 to 6 chapters that he has ALWAYS had a childhood crush on her; and that would have matured (although incredibly slowly at first) throughout this rewrite of The Twilight Saga ReVAMPED.
The person I would have made the biggest deal about Bella meeting on the first day of school would have been ALICE. Because she has a reason for doing so... there is this little thing about Alice's visions in order for them to work (that *I* added). She has to at least make good eye contact with a person in order to be able to "see" them; and the better the connection she has with a person, the clearer and more detailed her futuristic visions surrounding them are.
Alice needs to deepen her connection with Bella in order to increase the range of The Cullen's protection surrounding her - especially since Edward can't read her mind. He can't always see where she is unless he is reading someone's mind who is looking at her. PLUS, Alice is a remarkably easy friend for Bella because she reminds her of her friend from Phoenix, Meredith (if you haven't read Chapter 1 rewrite yet - that's where you'll meet Meredith).
Alice would offer to take Bella SHOPPING - maybe even to Seattle. After all, she could secretly bring her siblings along to shadow them for protection while they are supposed to be protecting her, anyway, ha! They may just end up in Port Angeles, however.
Alice is only too happy to do the befriending of this new stranger in town on behalf of her family. In Midnight Sun, Alice is the ONLY SIBLING among The Cullens who wants to become friends with Bella (even Jasper wants to kill her). Edward is actually keeping her from befriending Bella in the beginning, because Alice CAN SEE what good friends she and Bella will eventually become (and you all know how Alice is, ha!).
So, in this case, I would have used Alice as the reason for the Cullens to be closing in around Bella - Edward is "the one" they have to keep away from her because he's almost insane over her. He is NOT EVEN in school during these first few days during all of this (although he is no doubt watching/seeing from a distance - he can't leave, he's needed right now).
Edward does begin to attend school after taking ONLY a week off - and, he is elusive to Bella at first, when he does return. I wouldn't bore you by creating weeks of misplaced angst and frustration. THIS is a VAMPIRE, and Bella is ENTHRALLED - whether Edward meant to enthrall her or not, they are DOOMED to live out this situation.
The ONLY way this story would NOT be able to unfold, was if The Cullen's decided to abandon their newly-reacquired identities, pull up their stakes and move out of Forks in order to avoid it. But, that of course, doesn't happen (although, if you've read Midnight Sun, you know that is an option on the table that Rosalie - most of all - hates).
Did you know that most kids have already taken Biology by Junior/Senior year? Stephenie probably chose to use Biology just for the silly blood-pricking scene she thought up in Chapter 5. She KNEW that Vampires were about BLOOD enough to include "blood scenes" like that. Why the hell didn't she research it?
Chemistry, Physics, World Geography, Current Events - maybe an advanced Art and/or American Literature course would have been the types of classes Bella would have signed up for. (I used a little thing called research to find that out.) The Lunchroom would remain a main setting for Bella to interact with her new friends, but it would NOT be a place Edward or the rest of the Cullens hang out.
That's part of their homeschool cover; they don't need to have lunch at school, they attend only on some mornings or afternoons to supposedly supplement their homeschooling courses. (They could walk from their cars into the school on sunny days without sparkling, it takes a few minutes for the effect to build up - see "Edward Explains His Pretty Sparkles", above.)
I mean, REALLY... Vampires attending high school year after year after year and then college year after year and then what - starting over again? How incredibly INANE. If *I* was a Vampire in that kind of existence, I would have made a visit to the Volturi with a certain dire request a LONG time ago - NO! Our Vamp highschoolers will attend since Stephenie Meyer insisted they HAD TO, but in a more believable way.
Bella & Edward may have one, maybe even two classes together at first (I was thinking about Bowling, but that seems a little too goofy to me. Maybe, just because PE classes might be the kind of classes homeschooled students might take in a public school.
I'm not sure which one, it doesn't really matter. He makes it a point to NOT engage her either way. Having a class with Edward WILL make it hard for Bella to concentrate though, LoL!
The rumor and running joke among Forks highschoolers is that the Cullen kids are supposedly homeschooled because they all have "special needs issues". Their cover basically is that Esme oversees their education because they are all too traumatized in various ways from their pasts that make it hard for them to spend a "whole day" in school with other kids.
The rest of the excuse is really that they ALSO move around alot; and the Cullens are in advanced courses - BUT, their foster parents, Carlisle and Esme, being the responsible, doting parents that they are; DO want them to socialize with other kids (in order to validate their identities within the community).
But, you know how kids are... You can imagine them having all kinds of fun with this little diddy, ha! This just goes to show you... You never REALLY know about people, even when you think you do, ha!
2) How Bella & Edward's Relationship Develops
The "Phenomenon" truck save scene would have been the 2nd climactic scene (1st is in Chapter 1) and more directly tied in with the story - Victoria & James would have tried a more direct "accident" on Bella that Edward would have saved her from again. This time, it would have been a little more obvious to her that he was unusual - maybe something that took extra strength like pushing a vehicle away - that would still have worked here. The setting and the details surrounding that accident would have been different. However, the involuntary connection between them would have deepened, and it would definitely have moved the beginnings of their obsessive relationship forward.
It is BELLA who eventually & finally becomes brave enough to go up to EDWARD - while they both happen to be hiding out in the library one afternoon - that she practically corners him and makes him talk to her. (Maybe someday I'll write out that conversation for you, it's a pretty good one, ha!)
And you know... It is ALOT easier to resist something that you haven't allowed yourself to indulge in, yet. For instance, it is relatively easy to resist addictive drugs like Meth & Heroin if you don't ever try them - but, it is in the TRYING OF THEM that they become a difficult thing for people to resist. It isn't until this first scene in the library that EDWARD becomes as sucked in as Bella into this "forbidden relationship". What can we say, she's an irresistible little Vamp-groupie, ha!
Here's a phone conversation between Bella & Meredith during this time:
"So... Have you come across anyone... you know... irresistible?" She asked, obviously hopeful.
I sighed deeply, allowing my body to slump back against the headboard. "I really wish you would stop asking me that, Meredith."
There was a conspicuous silence, and I looked at my cell phone to make sure we were still connected.
"Oh! My! God!" She finally exclaimed. "You've met someone!"
I looked at the phone, incredulously, as if I was looking at Meredith, herself. "How did you come up with THAT conclusion?" I asked.
"Oh, let's not go into how brilliant I can be." She replied, casually. "Who IS he?"
Moving On Past "Phenomenon"
From there, Edward & Bella pretty much have a hard time trying to stay away from each other - BUT Jacob is also starting to pull on Bella during this time. Gosh, things can get confusing! She's unable to think about anyone but Edward - but JACOB is someone she ALREADY has a sweet, semi-close, long-standing relationship with. I didn't have the opportunity to work all these details out, but Bella would have felt a pull from BOTH of their directions - even if Edward's pull seemed alot stronger to her.
There would have been only a few good conversations between Bella & Edward before the 3rd climax of the story happened. Bella wouldn't have known about him being a Vampire, yet; and their relationship wouldn't have become solidified until AFTER this next big scene with Victoria & James (and Laurent - who won't be known until this scene happens). THIS is the scene where Bella finds out that they are Vampires because it will be unavoidable for them to explain themselves any other way to her. And after this, Bella & Edward have things to discuss and work out, but they are able to talk more freely about them.
The 3rd Build/Climax Scene
This is the 3rd time James & Victoria (and now Laurent) have tried to lure Bella into a snare - by capturing Charlie and convincing her that he has been seriously hurt in the line of duty. She drives out to the scene believing that she will meet a fleet of cop cars and ambulances - but the only thing she finds is Charlie's police cruiser AND our evil trio who sneer at her like the monsters they are.
I'm going to insert something about Edward's mind-reading capabilities here... The reason why this vamp trio has been so elusive so far, is because Vampires are kind of 2-dimensional in their thinking; and when they are doing things like hunting, they are very single-minded and focused on what they are doing. Edward has probably "seen" some of their kills up to this point, but THESE vamp are as much "specialized" as the Cullens but in a different way. They are hunters and James, in particular, is an excellent tracker - *I'm* going to assume that they are also excellent fighters because of this. (NOT that the Cullens aren't, ha!)
SO... THESE vamps have been very erratic in their kills as far as "where" they happen; and Edward DOES have a couple-mile radius limit to his mind-reading power. So, since he can't read Bella's mind AND this happens in the wee hours of the morning - the LEAST LIKELY time of day for this trio to attack Bella, JUST before the sun comes up - he misses the phone call that wakes Bella up and her leaving in the truck.
Alice sees things ahead of time - BUT she's only met this trio one other time and it was a fairly quick encounter, but SHE can see Bella. So probably before Bella even gets in her truck, the Cullens are piling into vehicles after her - before this encounter starts.
As they are getting closer to the scene, Edward would have been able to fill in what was going on. He would have seen the additional Vampire, Laurent. After they arrive, he will make it a POINT to ask them if they travel with others. He will DO THIS because when HE asks someone a question - he ALSO can kind of "pry open the door" to that part of their mind. Because he is "getting them to think about it" he can sort of push his way inside. He would be able to READ about that subject as well as everything surrounding it - no matter WHAT the person actually says. By the time they are done with THIS encounter, BOTH Edward and Alice will know alot more about our beloved bad*ss vamps (YES, this is something Stephenie Meyer excels at in my opinion - CHARACTERS! We LOVE them, don't we - EVEN the bad guys, Ha!)
The Cullens - of course, having been alerted by Alice's visions - come to Bella's rescue just in time. The bad-vamp-trio take a very evil, underhanded stance with Laurent becoming quite the wily, chilling leader of the group. This is when they finally figure out that at least one of the Cullens must have some extra-special abilities, like mind-reading. Laurent may even be perceptive enough to figure out that it is Edward because Edward has just probed his mind (see above).
We find out that Charlie is bleeding to death in the trunk of the cruiser; and Bella - who could really give a crap LESS who or WHAT these creatures are - is VERY upset and unable to be reasoned with.
When they finally open the trunk at Bella's insistence, she is able to patch Charlie up a bit and put some pressure on his wound. Bella is brave enough to grab Charlie's handgun (which he taught her to use a long time ago), aims it at Laurent's head and pulls the trigger - putting a hole right in the middle of his forehead (which does nothing but stun him for a few moments, to Bella's horror). And ALICE - the person Bella trusts the most among them - PUSHES her into the trunk with Charlie and closes it down on them for their own protection.
About Bella shooting Laurent... Just because you're shy, doesn't mean you're not brave. And while Bella's actions within this scene may not be advisable and seem too stupid and spontaneous; it works for her BECAUSE she actually ISN'T being spontaneous.
If you haven't read the Chapter One rewrite yet, you need to read it to see how THIS Bella is a LITTLE different. She actually acts a little more mature, which is I think what Stephenie was shooting for within her character development of Bella.
This Bella is "always prepared" - she's got her backpack, she owns OLD things within it that she obviously cherishes enough to take care of, she's independent, she has her own ideas and opinions about things, she writes in her journal and USES it as a form of expression in multiple ways.
She THINKS about things before she does them AND she is VERY tapped into her own feelings and emotions. She takes these into consideration in everything she does. So, yeah, this Bella - as she is patching up Charlie in the trunk and listening to the conversation between The Cullen's and Laurent, JUST MIGHT decide to help.
She understands that these people are "supernatural" at this point. Our evil vamp trio have made that obvious to her even if it isn't obvious to her by now (it is, ha!). She also gets that Laurent seems to be the leader AND there are fewer of them AND she is MAD that they are almost killing Charlie. I'm NOT SAYING she is entirely reasonable in her actions just because she is pretty good at tapping into her instincts and intuitions, LoL!
She IS a smart, thinking girl, but she's also a little nuts right now AND she's young... and in this case, things work out in her favor because of it. (Disclaimer: Please do NOT try this yourself unless absolutely necessary! Bella HAS been trained by her father and she has done SOME thinking - NEVER pull that trigger without thinking. :)
Also, HOW could Bella hit Laurent square between the eyes - COME ON, ha!
I don't have ONE PROBLEM believing that. Bella is someone who is obviously very affected by her emotions, but she is ALSO very capable of channeling them. I think she is one of those people whose nerves become more calm the worse things get. It is AFTER the storm that the wave catches up with them and they can become overwhelmed. Bella's aim would have been RIGHT ON TARGET in that moment because she KNOWS she HAS to be! You do NOT pull that trigger unless you mean it. I'm SURE Charlie taught her that.
Back in the trunk... Bella is LIVID, screaming and pounding on the inside of the trunk while trying to keep pressure on Charlie's wound. She can hear all kinds of snarling and fighting outside, AND she can feel the cruiser being crashed into - but she can't see anything.
Before the fight becomes too violent, Laurent - who is a now semi-wounded Vampire pulls the reigns in on his two Vampire children because "he can see the game is over". And besides, he isn't able to stand against any of the Cullens in his staggered state until his wound heals. It won't take long, but too long for him to be able to help defeat them; and they are outnumbered.
However, James is more determined than ever in his insatiable desire to kill Bella and Charlie - plus, he has a reputation to uphold. The Cullen's have damaged his pride. He is taking things personally now, and SO is Victoria! Alice is able to get a good "grip" on all of them during this encounter, and she is able to better see their decisions.
They aren't too far out of town; and Emmett & Rosalie rush Charlie to the emergency room with the excuse that "they found him" - calling ahead to Carlisle for him to be ready for incoming. They are able to get Charlie's blood level back up, and all he can remember is being attacked from behind by some kind of large animal.
The Cullens will cover up their tracks, well... They will clean Charlie's trunk, clean his gun, and someone (probably Edward) will even remember to replace the used bullet because you KNOW that Charlie knows how many bullets he should have. He'll notice if one is missing, ha!
THIS is a REALLY interesting twist that I just now thought of (I'm inserting this on 7/19/12) - Charlie is TOO FAR GONE to be saved and Bella BEGS them to save him. Someone (maybe Carlisle is along for this encounter) changes him into a Vampire.
THEN it would be BELLA who would be dealing with things from the opposite perspective with her father turning into a Vampire. In the Breaking Dawn rewrite summary, I take a sidestep in which I toy with the idea that Bella COULD have remained HUMAN for as long as she wanted to - EVEN throughout ETERNITY if she wanted... Simply by taking sips of Edwards blood every once in awhile to keep her body and organs young.
I would probably still have turned her, eventually... But I think it would have been FAR more interesting for her to stay Human for alot longer. We would have gotten to know her better as a Human going on adventures through her Human eyes. It would have made "who she changed into" after her transformation more obvious that much more interesting to us.
CONTINUING... After Bella feels better about Charlie getting better (he'll have to stay overnight in the hospital a couple of nights), it is late morning - and STILL RAINING! The rain has really been relentless since she has arrived in Forks; strange things keep happening to her - INCLUDING meeting these weird "Cullen's"; Charlie almost DIED... And she hasn't seen the Sun in AGES! Our Bella is literally at the end of her emotional rope!
Edward has been hanging out in the reception room with her. They haven't talked much yet, Bella isn't quite in the frame of mind to make inquiries. But all of her questions are starting to boil in the back of her mind regarding Edward and his family.
At this point, when Bella is obviously exasperated by the rain - Edward will offer to "take her into the Sunlight" within 10 minutes. He promises her that she is safe with him for the moment, and that he will tell her everything. He takes her up a mountain past the cloud barrier almost to the top to a meadow that he knows of (I "think" I'm remembering that part right - he already knows about this meadow. I told you, I HAVE preread alot of this stuff).
Bella & Edward's Relationship Flourishes!
Our bad vamp trio decides to take a break and regroup - giving our strange little couple a chance to get to know each other better (and Jacob really starts to get forgotten). Edward comes clean and explains what they are and Bella asks her hoards of questions. In fact, if I remember correctly, there are alot of questions being asked back and forth by these two for quite awhile.
Here's a cute conversation between Bella & Edward in the MEADOW (which will, of course, become a frequent place they hang out) during this time:
"You think you know me even though you can't read my mind?"
He grinned, "I don't need to know the details about you to know you, Bella."
That thought made me feel a little more exposed.
"For instance, " He continued... "I can tell that I've just made you uncomfortable by telling you that."
He was right, of course. I honestly wasn't sure if I loved or hated him for it.
I gazed into his eyes for a bit; not really having a response, and not really appreciating the amused curl of his smirk.
"Yeah, but does it match what I'm thinking?" I finally replied.
I literally had to stifle an out-loud laugh as I stood up - but I managed to maintain the mysterious grin I had originally intended.
The look on his face was better than I had expected.
I turned and naturally-stumbled away, covering my mouth and breaking into a huge, semi-snickering grin after I had my back to him.
That's when he tackled me - but it wasn't really what I had ever imagined a tackle would be like...
Other things also start happening... Like Edward watching Bella sleep.
Let's talk about this time in the story for a bit, because believe it or NOT... Stephenie Meyer actually gets ALOT more things RIGHT during this time than she often gets credit for.
Many women go on and on about how "abusive" and "obsessive" and "stalkerish" Edward is. YES, THIS IS A STORY ABOUT VAMPIRES! He's a PREDATOR; and they have very primordial, albeit mystically-inclined instincts. Vampires DO "just eat anyone" sometimes; BUT usually they like to play with their prey first, like cats with mice. And sometimes, they even like to form attachments with them before they kill them for a few different reasons. (YES, incidentally, THIS IS one of the MAIN REASONS why this VAMPIRE story is inappropriate for a young, Virgin girl in high school!) IF this were any other story in any other place, however - you're right, it WOULD be wrong.
BUT in this case, IF that is ALL Edward the Vampire is doing - stalking Bella - he is actually doing ALOT to keep his OWN Vampire obsessions about Bella at bay. He is RESISTING the very powerful draw he feels for her, and you can be SURE that it is a MUCH stronger pull that he feels for her than the other way around. Vampires are somewhat 2-dimensional and always feel things alot stronger than Humans do (because they have no soul to filter things through). With Edward, it is the INTENT that is behind his stalking that is unusual BECAUSE of WHAT HE IS - he LIKES this girl, he isn't stalking her to kill her. That is the difference - because he is a Vampire, this is pretty much what he NEEDS to do in order to NOT HARM HER.
Edward WOULD be obsessed about her - AND Bella WOULD be obsessed about him! And, as with ANY obsession, she isn't about to just "do the right thing" and push him away (right, Ladies?). He finds peace and contentment in watching Bella sleep - and she feels safe and loved. WHY would she push him away?
The BIG CLIMAX
I'm really dragging my feet on summarizing this last climax scene because I'm having a bit of a hard time working it out. First of all, it WILL be set in a different place under a different set of circumstances. But "what happens" in it will basically stay the same - it's the "making it believable" part that is fuzzy...
In Stephenie's version, Edward saves Bella by sucking the "poisonous Vampire venom" out of her system that James has just inserted into her by biting her. Venom makes this story unbelievable in SO many ways - in this case; IF Edward has to suck the venom out of her system, he is ALSO DRINKING HER BLOOD - which is HOW THEY FEED off of Humans.
HOW is Venom getting into the Human to BEGIN WITH, if they are also sucking their blood dry? (In Stephenie's version of Edward, all he would have to do is KISS Bella, of course.) I guess it *could* work... But there is something about it that takes away from the mystical-poetry behind the idea of Vampires "consuming/feeding" off of the life of a Human (which, they USED to BE - they CRAVE "what they used to have" because they no longer have it - a SOUL.)
THIS is why Stephenie's use of venom makes blood insignificant to her "Vampires". AND, Since BLOOD is the MAIN, essential thing that NOT ONLY CHANGES them from a Human into a Vampire but IDENTIFIES them as one - DEBUNKED! As far as *I* am concerned, it isn't even a question anymore.
I've SEEN the movie Breaking Dawn by now, and I've seen Bella's body turn into a Vampire... It's not even a BLOOD-based body! They don't need blood to change; there doesn't seem to be a way for it to sink into their tissues; and there is NO REASON for them to NEED blood - aside from the fact that Stephenie Meyer CALLS them VAMPIRES! Bloodless Vampires are an Oxymoron!
Vampires live off the soul-essence of Humans by physically drinking their blood. When they drink blood, it becomes sort of a mystical nutrient for them - a Vampire "feels" that person's soul for awhile. It lingers... and while it is still strong inside of them, they are more heightened to experienced things like feelings and emotions for themselves beyond the raw, bottomless HOLE of an empty existence that is left over inside of them after their souls have been destroyed.
Their organs are DEAD inside of them and/or CHANGED to carry out "Vampire" processes - like, their lungs no longer NEED to breathe for the same reason as when they were Human; their brains still work, but differently; and their skin is enhanced with all different kinds of extra-sensory receptors. They don't even think the same way, they have entirely different sensibilities than Humans.
The physical aspects of the blood they drink (or anything they eat or drink) gets completely consumed within their bodies. There is no waste to worry about. Because this "eternal disease" within their bodies is so pervasive, it annihilates whatever it can't mystically-utilize. Even though they "can" mystically-utilize other substances, the only thing they CRAVE is Human blood for the soul-essence that they lack. Things like drugs and alcohol can have an affect on them, but not necessarily in the same way they do for Humans - AND things WOULD taste different to them, of course.
So yeah, we're gonna scrap any further mention of VENOM beyond this point. Vampires are NOT SNAKES! (*ICK!*) Vampires are NOT reptiles or ANY version of any animal - other than HUMANS.
They are mystical fantasy, formerly-Human, soulless creatures with PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED fantasy lore specifically created to IDENTIFY them as Vampires across Vampire genre mediums. NOT that they cannot be altered/changed... Dang, I am NOT going to go into that again here, ha! Read my blog OR better yet - CLICK HERE to watch Melina's YouTube video regarding "Why Logic Belongs in Fiction" - She has some of the most well-explained reasoning behind her arguments.
Since I'm not actually rewriting this, I guess I don't need to have EVERY little detail worked out, yet.
Our evil Vamp trio consisting of Laurent, Victoria and James will wise up a bit and split things into two fronts - while ALSO using Forks townsfolk as a "third" threat. This will take the Cullen's into 2 different directions - some of them will be going to protect Charlie; and Bella and Edward will end up splintered off from their group, leaving them in a face-off with James.
Did anyone else wonder where Victoria was in this scene in Twilight? WHERE else would she be except with James? In this case, she is the one who splits Edward & Bella off and keeps the siblings diverted. No backup for Edward & Bella for awhile.
And Nah... James doesn't mind being in a face-off alone with anyone. This is what he lives for! The first thing he does is confuse Edward with literally several different ways of attacking Bella all at once AND he mixes up his intentions - making it almost impossible for Edward to predict anything ahead of time.
This is actually something that Edward & Bella have had a previous conversation about - could he rely on "just his senses" if he ever lost his mind-reading abilities? This is something he will learn about himself.
James is a tracker and he knows almost as much about Edward as Edward does about him. He's an uber-clever Vamp who is VERY CAPABLE of "thinking spontaneously off the top of his head". This isn't going to be an easy fight for Edward (NOT that the fight was too easy in the movie - I don't know what it's like in the book.)
The fight will start and it will take Edward a bit to re-adjust his thinking about the way he needs to fight this bad*ss Vamp. James will, of course, make his way over to Bella and he will start to drain her - but, he won't need to hover over her and continue to drain her. All he has to do is puncture the "main" jugular vein in her neck and let her blood start to gush. (And oh yeah, he'll break her arm this time instead of her leg so that she can't put much pressure on it.)
Doing THIS will do 2 things - aside from hurting (OMG!) Bella - drive both him AND Edward into a frenzy (which is what James wants); and Bella's blood will continue to drain from her body. MAYBE... IF someone gets to her IN TIME, she can be saved. And on TOP of that... IF it's too late to save her, she MAY STILL be turned into a Vampire if someone "feeds" her right before she actually dies.
Being in a "frenzy" kind of puts Edward and James on the same footing. It will make them both revert into the primal monsters that they are, practically acting on instinct alone - no amount of "mind-reading" would help Edward, at that point. He can't even control his own actions very well...
James' idea works JUST like he expects it to work - it DOES send them BOTH into a frenzy. BUT, Edward doesn't think like a normal Vampire; and James has no clue that Edward is in love with Bella - he just thinks these pansy Vampires are protecting her because they are trying to protect their territory.
Even though Bella's scent is literally driving Edward insane; he LOVES her by this point and his intentions are NOT the same as James'.
James just wants to get to Bella to satisfy his blood lust; and because he assumes that is what Edward will want, too - that's where Edward gets him, because HE just wants to KILL James. Edward is pretty sure "this is it" for Bella and he's INSANELY LIVID!
It doesn't even OCCUR to James that Edward might be in love with Bella simply because she is Human. (Not that it would have mattered much, I suppose. But, he might have done a little more posturing if he had known ahead of time, ha!) It isn't until after the second part of this fight starts, that he realizes otherwise. (Yeah, he'll have to get in a couple good jabs at Edward about it after he realizes it.)
But, sorry James... You pissed Edward off and now you're dead! (Victoria can "sense" his death, drops her diversionary tactics and makes her way to the scene with the Cullen's she has been fighting (Carlisle & Emmett), right behind her.
Killing James was the easy part for Edward... It's only been a few minutes because Edward didn't waste time, he knew Bella's time was short. But, she is looking awfully weak and still bleeding on the floor as he makes his way over to her. And dang, you can't very well put a tourniquet around someone's neck!
Edward is in a great deal of torture as he leans over Bella, obviously struggling with his insane blood lust over her - BUT, our hero manages to close Bella's punctured, gushing artery with his tongue (and "tasting" her in the process); BECAUSE (those of you who are aware of Vampire Lore KNOW this), Vampire's can close/heal wounds with their saliva. Just like their blood, it has mystical properties. They have this ability so that they can close the wound of their prey and "save more for later" if they want to, ha! HOWEVER, yeah, this would be INCREDIBLY HARD for Edward to do.
AND, he's not done yet... Bella has lost ALOT of blood and they are out in the boondocks somewhere. She's losing consciousness and she's fading. Edward can tell just by looking at the pool of blood surrounding Bella how much blood she has lost. He bites into his own wrist and gives her his blood - which isn't hard because once she starts drinking, it's like a drug to her.
Edward gives her "just enough" to jump-start the natural healing processes of her body - her blood producing organs would go into overdrive for a bit. Her strength would immediately - although slowly - start to come back. Her arm will also heal.
"Am I going to turn into a Vampire now?" She asked weakly.
"No." I assured her. "You haven't lost quite enough blood, yet."
"I feel like I'm you." She said.
I cracked a smile, relieved that she seemed to be gaining a little strength already.
"Actually, it's more like I'm you." I told her. Which was true... I was the black hole and her soul was the one filling us both up.
By this time, Victoria has arrived just ahead of the Cullen's and sees what has happened. James' head is literally ripped off his body and Edward is fawning over Bella. Hell hath no fury like a Vamp-chick scorned! She takes off into the night, hating Edward with a vengeance!
Carlisle and Emmett set James' head & body on fire, and end up having to literally pry Edward and Bella apart. Edward may not be feeding off of her, but he isn't exactly in the frame of mind to move any further away from her, either, ha!
The End of Twilight ReVAMPED
I would have ended "Twilight ReVAMPED" at the hospital scene after Edward suggests that they should part ways and Bella frantically rejects that idea. Of course she would do that - she is not only obsessed and BEYOND enthralled with this Vampire at this point; but she is madly in love with him. There is NOTHING inside of her that COULD EVER make her feel any differently about him. They are now deeply connected in a physical way, not just a spiritual way. Edward could turn into a complete psycho serial killer and Bella would still love him!
Edward will promise again to stay with her again because "Where else would I go... You're my life, now."
I wouldn't have taken them into prom... I REALLY really do not think Bella wants to go and I don't think Edward would be such an old-fashioned jerk about it. HE doesn't care about PROM, and he BELIEVES Bella when she says she doesn't want to go. He won't insist on it. (Yes, I read this part because they make such a big deal about this prom in the movie. It seemed pretty forced like so many things in this story do.)
Also... you won't find my Bella EVER begging Edward to change her into a Vampire. She WILL change her mind about it because of what happens in New Moon - the Volturi will insist on it; but it won't be something she is driving Edward crazy about. She is going to be well-aware of "what she will turn into" before that happens. She will eventually insist on it - like she does - but only as a SACRIFICE for her beloved Cullens. She doesn't want anything bad to happen to them - especially because of HER. And, it's not like she's ever planning on hanging out with anyone other than THEM for the rest of her life, anyway - however long that lasts. ;)