One day, while sitting around in my home, a tell tale *poof* sounded. Surrounded by glitter, I sighed and turned around. "What now, your Majesty?", I asked, mildly sick of his (constant) nagging. An annoyed, clipped accent responded. "I have simply come to inform you that Rosalinda has slipped through the Veil again, and I would much appreciate it if you kept an eye out. That is all." ..."Wait, your asking nicely?"
"Would you prefer I ordered you? I can, you know."
"No thanks. But...that's it? I mean, don't you usually send a goblin, or a message or something?"
" Yes, but I have recently been told I don't treat my subjects 'fairly'. So I have taken it upon myself to be more understanding."
" Ok 1, no glitter poofing on the carpet. 2, it was Sarah again, wasn't it?"
The dead silence as enough to answer that question. With a sigh, I realized it was once again up to me to smooth things over with a gentle, soothing touch. "You know the rules. You can pout...I mean glower ominously over in that corner. I have some things that need doing, and I don't need a glittery, hormonal goblin monarch getting in the way. I'll listen to your stereotypical complaining later." He cracked half a smile. Yep, gentle and sweet, that's me. Honestly, if he wanted babying, he wouldn't have come here. Although that Rosalinda issue would need to be resolved...and soon... For those of you who don't travel the Veil that often, Rosalinda is a demon posessed evil chicken who is out to kill anything that moves and generally make Kingy's life miserable. also, if left unattended, she might eat my food, which is a no go. And since Skip had burst out crying last time I asked if I could eat her, bodily harm is a last resort. Don't get me wrong, I'm no angel, but Skip is just a little kid...and COME ON, he was crying! And he's an apprentice helper! So yeah, he holds a special place, as do the rest of my honorary scribes in training. Also, he brings marshmellows for flames. Thus began the Great Chicken Search...which ended 3 hours later when Rosalinda was found under my brother's bed, huddled into a terrified ball of feathers. I don't know what she saw, but apparently ever sense she has had a strange aversion to cheese and shoelaces.
Rosalinda having been found, I gave the monarch my undivided attention. "So tell me Kingy, what did the fair, cruel lass do to the big, bad Goblin King wrong today?". "Don't call me Kingy."
"Hmmm...no. I don't feel like whim-catering today, King or not. Now, whats up?"
"Well, it started out normal..." I give a quick command to Quill, because he has the best handwriting. "Record what he says, Quill! We'll write down what happened. Start with...The King was stalking his unwilling soulmate again..."
" You got it!"
"I WAS NOT! IT IS NOT 'STALKING'! IT IS MERELY KEEPING AN EYE ON HER SO SHE DOESN'T GO AND GET HERSELF INTO MORE BLOODY TROUBLE!"
"Wow, whatever it was, it must have been bad...after the stalking comment, record that they were both hormonal...and you should proably mention the fact that he's now producing black glittr, a sure sign of angst..."
..."Quinn, the King's turning a funny color of purple again..."
"OOOOH! RECORD THAT IT'S IMPORTANT!" ..." OOH! QUILL! Kingy hasn't made pretty sparklies that color since the meany pretty birdy laid eggs in his bed!"
"Hush, Skip. Though what idiotic bird would mate with Rosalinda is beyond me...sshhhhhhhhhh, Skip! I didn't mean anything by it! Of course she's a pretty birdy! Oh gods...HOP!"
"Yes'm?"
"Take your brother for a walk."
"Ok, Miss Quinn."
"Cut it with the 'Miss' business. I'm too young for honorifics. You will call me Scribe, Salina, or Quinn."
"Ok, Miss Quinn!"
..."Just go."
By now, the King we were allegedly supposed to be comforting a turned purple...then red...then started banging his head against the wall...and then disappeared in a poof of signifigantly black glitter that said the Bog for the next thing to cross him.
"Did you get his reaction, Quill?" "Yep!"
"Good, it'll go great with our other files on how to get rid of him...Because despite your arguements, we're not cutting him a break. It's not as much fun. Now hold fort, I'm going to go get Sarah. Then may the Gods pity me for the task ahead..."
"Whaddya mean, Salina?"
"I'm going to have to get them to kiss and make up...figuratively..."
"Why figuratively?"
"HA! Why d'ya think Kingy poofed in here? Sarah's dating!"
"Oh no..."
"You said it, mate. You said it."
"Would you prefer I ordered you? I can, you know."
"No thanks. But...that's it? I mean, don't you usually send a goblin, or a message or something?"
" Yes, but I have recently been told I don't treat my subjects 'fairly'. So I have taken it upon myself to be more understanding."
" Ok 1, no glitter poofing on the carpet. 2, it was Sarah again, wasn't it?"
The dead silence as enough to answer that question. With a sigh, I realized it was once again up to me to smooth things over with a gentle, soothing touch. "You know the rules. You can pout...I mean glower ominously over in that corner. I have some things that need doing, and I don't need a glittery, hormonal goblin monarch getting in the way. I'll listen to your stereotypical complaining later." He cracked half a smile. Yep, gentle and sweet, that's me. Honestly, if he wanted babying, he wouldn't have come here. Although that Rosalinda issue would need to be resolved...and soon... For those of you who don't travel the Veil that often, Rosalinda is a demon posessed evil chicken who is out to kill anything that moves and generally make Kingy's life miserable. also, if left unattended, she might eat my food, which is a no go. And since Skip had burst out crying last time I asked if I could eat her, bodily harm is a last resort. Don't get me wrong, I'm no angel, but Skip is just a little kid...and COME ON, he was crying! And he's an apprentice helper! So yeah, he holds a special place, as do the rest of my honorary scribes in training. Also, he brings marshmellows for flames. Thus began the Great Chicken Search...which ended 3 hours later when Rosalinda was found under my brother's bed, huddled into a terrified ball of feathers. I don't know what she saw, but apparently ever sense she has had a strange aversion to cheese and shoelaces.
Rosalinda having been found, I gave the monarch my undivided attention. "So tell me Kingy, what did the fair, cruel lass do to the big, bad Goblin King wrong today?". "Don't call me Kingy."
"Hmmm...no. I don't feel like whim-catering today, King or not. Now, whats up?"
"Well, it started out normal..." I give a quick command to Quill, because he has the best handwriting. "Record what he says, Quill! We'll write down what happened. Start with...The King was stalking his unwilling soulmate again..."
" You got it!"
"I WAS NOT! IT IS NOT 'STALKING'! IT IS MERELY KEEPING AN EYE ON HER SO SHE DOESN'T GO AND GET HERSELF INTO MORE BLOODY TROUBLE!"
"Wow, whatever it was, it must have been bad...after the stalking comment, record that they were both hormonal...and you should proably mention the fact that he's now producing black glittr, a sure sign of angst..."
..."Quinn, the King's turning a funny color of purple again..."
"OOOOH! RECORD THAT IT'S IMPORTANT!" ..." OOH! QUILL! Kingy hasn't made pretty sparklies that color since the meany pretty birdy laid eggs in his bed!"
"Hush, Skip. Though what idiotic bird would mate with Rosalinda is beyond me...sshhhhhhhhhh, Skip! I didn't mean anything by it! Of course she's a pretty birdy! Oh gods...HOP!"
"Yes'm?"
"Take your brother for a walk."
"Ok, Miss Quinn."
"Cut it with the 'Miss' business. I'm too young for honorifics. You will call me Scribe, Salina, or Quinn."
"Ok, Miss Quinn!"
..."Just go."
By now, the King we were allegedly supposed to be comforting a turned purple...then red...then started banging his head against the wall...and then disappeared in a poof of signifigantly black glitter that said the Bog for the next thing to cross him.
"Did you get his reaction, Quill?" "Yep!"
"Good, it'll go great with our other files on how to get rid of him...Because despite your arguements, we're not cutting him a break. It's not as much fun. Now hold fort, I'm going to go get Sarah. Then may the Gods pity me for the task ahead..."
"Whaddya mean, Salina?"
"I'm going to have to get them to kiss and make up...figuratively..."
"Why figuratively?"
"HA! Why d'ya think Kingy poofed in here? Sarah's dating!"
"Oh no..."
"You said it, mate. You said it."