After searching for the unwilling reciever of my monarch's affections, I sat her down for a serious heart to heart girl talk. I sat her down and started my interrogation.
" How's your new relationship with Fred coming along?" I ask tentatively... Kingy has been known to mark his territory...and he doesn't like to share.
"Oh, great! At first I thought that glittery fairy prat would show up and try to ruin it again, but strangely, all the goblins he sends after Fred tend to get right along with him! Must be the similar personalities." I nod, seeing how that could happen, and choosing not to tell her about George's complaints about dissappearing socks. I have a feeling the goblins would be mortified...
"Look, Sar. You know I hate it that Jareth doesn't like relationships with anyone besides himself, but hon...This thing with Fred, are you really into him, or is it something else?"
Her response was spluttering out words. "Of course it's real! I like Fred a lot! He's funny, and charming, and cute, and magical, and a ginger! And he doesn't mind the goblins, he's wonderful! I could really dig this guy!" Unfortunately for her, I caught that last part.
"Could? Like could...if it weren't for the Goblin King? Come on Sar, we both know your doing this to make him jealous. Which is, by the way, working like a charm."
Of course, this was followed by her turning beet red, throwing forth denial, and then finally sighing and looking down. Then suddenly, her head snapped up and she glared. I mean 1800 killowats of pure rage.
"Why are you pointing this out? Is it my fault that bloody glittery fairy prat can't get a girl? Why does it matter to you?"
Of course, I did the stupidest thing humanely possible given the circumstances. I replied in a fully intelligent and reasonable tone. "Well first of all, it's pretty bloody obvious to everyone but you and him. Secondly, I want you happy! Thirdly, he's my king, and it doesn't do for him to mope in my room all the time. Also, you drug Fred into this, and he's mine! I'm not sharing! Finally, he actually CAN get a girl, and could probably have any girl on God's green earth, but for some reason, he picked you! Now, do I need to assign you an oubliette, or are you going to calm down enough to do me a solid?"
..."Fine, I owe you. Wait...I don't like that look...what are you planning? I TAKE IT BA-" "OI, KINGY!"
Enter, still mopey, Goblin King. "I said to stop calling me Kingy! Now what do you want now, confounded fe-Oh, Sarah! Fancy seeing you here, darling!"
"Kingy, Sarah and I have been talking. I know that look, and don't you dare poof away! I have convinced her that, since she and Fred have broken up, she will spend the evening unchapheroned in your company. Any funny business, and it's owl sausage for breakfast. Savvy?"..."And stop getting that bloody happiness glitter all over my rug. And don't look at me that way, Sarah, you owe me. Now, toodles!"..."GET THE BLOODY BOG OUT OF HERE! GO ON YOUR DATE! STOP GAWKING!"
****poof****
..."Owl sausage? Really, Quinn?"
"Eh, what can I say, Quill? I'm too nice. Now go get a vacuum...bloody fae..."
*FOUR HOURS LATER*
With a sigh and a muttered farewell to this world, I turn around to find a very smug magical creature. However, not the normal one. This one, for one, was a goat waist down, and had dark coloring instead of , and his eyes weren't mismatched. This was a whole different being, who had been around long before the Goblin King moved in. We were in for some trouble. With a similar smirk, I greet him fondly.
"Puck! It's been a while! Where've you been? Annoying the royalty, I hope?" He scoffed at that, then gave me a wink.
"You wound me. Of course, lass, though ye've stolen one of my playmates, I hear. How is the Goblin King, anyway?" All he gets in return is a smirk and a gesture to the File of Ways to Tick Off the Goblin King...and Sarah. "My, that files grown. Can I take a look sometime?" I can't help but laugh, knowing that even if I say no, he'll find a way to see them. I inform him as much, and he just shrugs with a grin.
"Now, that formalities are over, cut the fancy talk. What's up, how can I help, and how can I twist the situation to get more fun out of it for me?". The sage of tricksters has taught me well. His impish grin says it all. He informs me that he has long heard of this catostrophic romance, and he's come to see what he can get out of it. I pull him up to speed, and inform him that the most entertainment is to be found by supporting the whole thing, and rooting for both sides, with undercurrents of goblin favoritism. He seems surprised at this. Apparently my tormenting of the goblin monarch has reached my friend's ears.
"What do you want me to say, Robin? I've always been sympathetic to the misunderstood ones. And trust me, there's a LOT of confusing misunderstandings here! I'm not sure even you can make it worse!". At this he raised his eyebrows in an, 'Oh really? Is that a challenge?' fashion. "Look, I'm not discrediting your skills, I'm sure you could screw it up more somehow, and it would be very amusing to watch, but despite my constant pestering, I actually am trying to work things out! I'm doing the next best thing to causing tangles...I'm undoing a very big one." ..."Close your mouth, Goodfellow. I can't be working to make things worse ALL the time. I DO want to get to the nicer half of the afterlife somehow, you know! And I really hope the Big Man is watching, because these are some EXTREMELY difficult good deeds!".
"I'm touched, lass. You really are a good person, deep down inside!"
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" "Well, I have to tease SOMEONE around here! And since I'm planning on helping you...don't look so surprised, lass, we can't be on opposing teams!...You'll have to do, as there's no one else about." I scan my thoughts hard for a victim (any victim!) besides myself he could torment...when it suddenly clicks. An evil grin spreads wide.
"Actually, there is another victim you could always toy with...His name's Raoul, and he's the cause of the heartbreak of a friend of mine..." The look of recognition and small smile tells me he knows the back story, and a certain French Viscount would have a rough time for a while...
"So where is the quirky couple, anyway, Quinn? I have a feeling there's something you're not telling me." I smile and fill him in on everything. Oh yes, studying at the hands of the master has certainly paid off, as a look of respect rises on his face.
" I'm proud of you, girly. Soon I'll have to watch my OWN back! Now if you'll excuse me, I don't want to be around when they return. I'm just observing right now...have to get the feel of the situation, y'know!" "I understand." So with a wink and a turn, he ran off fast as a bullet to his own small home, always there for his visits. Things are about to get very interesting... Speaking of which, where the heck are the Princess and the Pea-brained?
" How's your new relationship with Fred coming along?" I ask tentatively... Kingy has been known to mark his territory...and he doesn't like to share.
"Oh, great! At first I thought that glittery fairy prat would show up and try to ruin it again, but strangely, all the goblins he sends after Fred tend to get right along with him! Must be the similar personalities." I nod, seeing how that could happen, and choosing not to tell her about George's complaints about dissappearing socks. I have a feeling the goblins would be mortified...
"Look, Sar. You know I hate it that Jareth doesn't like relationships with anyone besides himself, but hon...This thing with Fred, are you really into him, or is it something else?"
Her response was spluttering out words. "Of course it's real! I like Fred a lot! He's funny, and charming, and cute, and magical, and a ginger! And he doesn't mind the goblins, he's wonderful! I could really dig this guy!" Unfortunately for her, I caught that last part.
"Could? Like could...if it weren't for the Goblin King? Come on Sar, we both know your doing this to make him jealous. Which is, by the way, working like a charm."
Of course, this was followed by her turning beet red, throwing forth denial, and then finally sighing and looking down. Then suddenly, her head snapped up and she glared. I mean 1800 killowats of pure rage.
"Why are you pointing this out? Is it my fault that bloody glittery fairy prat can't get a girl? Why does it matter to you?"
Of course, I did the stupidest thing humanely possible given the circumstances. I replied in a fully intelligent and reasonable tone. "Well first of all, it's pretty bloody obvious to everyone but you and him. Secondly, I want you happy! Thirdly, he's my king, and it doesn't do for him to mope in my room all the time. Also, you drug Fred into this, and he's mine! I'm not sharing! Finally, he actually CAN get a girl, and could probably have any girl on God's green earth, but for some reason, he picked you! Now, do I need to assign you an oubliette, or are you going to calm down enough to do me a solid?"
..."Fine, I owe you. Wait...I don't like that look...what are you planning? I TAKE IT BA-" "OI, KINGY!"
Enter, still mopey, Goblin King. "I said to stop calling me Kingy! Now what do you want now, confounded fe-Oh, Sarah! Fancy seeing you here, darling!"
"Kingy, Sarah and I have been talking. I know that look, and don't you dare poof away! I have convinced her that, since she and Fred have broken up, she will spend the evening unchapheroned in your company. Any funny business, and it's owl sausage for breakfast. Savvy?"..."And stop getting that bloody happiness glitter all over my rug. And don't look at me that way, Sarah, you owe me. Now, toodles!"..."GET THE BLOODY BOG OUT OF HERE! GO ON YOUR DATE! STOP GAWKING!"
****poof****
..."Owl sausage? Really, Quinn?"
"Eh, what can I say, Quill? I'm too nice. Now go get a vacuum...bloody fae..."
*FOUR HOURS LATER*
With a sigh and a muttered farewell to this world, I turn around to find a very smug magical creature. However, not the normal one. This one, for one, was a goat waist down, and had dark coloring instead of , and his eyes weren't mismatched. This was a whole different being, who had been around long before the Goblin King moved in. We were in for some trouble. With a similar smirk, I greet him fondly.
"Puck! It's been a while! Where've you been? Annoying the royalty, I hope?" He scoffed at that, then gave me a wink.
"You wound me. Of course, lass, though ye've stolen one of my playmates, I hear. How is the Goblin King, anyway?" All he gets in return is a smirk and a gesture to the File of Ways to Tick Off the Goblin King...and Sarah. "My, that files grown. Can I take a look sometime?" I can't help but laugh, knowing that even if I say no, he'll find a way to see them. I inform him as much, and he just shrugs with a grin.
"Now, that formalities are over, cut the fancy talk. What's up, how can I help, and how can I twist the situation to get more fun out of it for me?". The sage of tricksters has taught me well. His impish grin says it all. He informs me that he has long heard of this catostrophic romance, and he's come to see what he can get out of it. I pull him up to speed, and inform him that the most entertainment is to be found by supporting the whole thing, and rooting for both sides, with undercurrents of goblin favoritism. He seems surprised at this. Apparently my tormenting of the goblin monarch has reached my friend's ears.
"What do you want me to say, Robin? I've always been sympathetic to the misunderstood ones. And trust me, there's a LOT of confusing misunderstandings here! I'm not sure even you can make it worse!". At this he raised his eyebrows in an, 'Oh really? Is that a challenge?' fashion. "Look, I'm not discrediting your skills, I'm sure you could screw it up more somehow, and it would be very amusing to watch, but despite my constant pestering, I actually am trying to work things out! I'm doing the next best thing to causing tangles...I'm undoing a very big one." ..."Close your mouth, Goodfellow. I can't be working to make things worse ALL the time. I DO want to get to the nicer half of the afterlife somehow, you know! And I really hope the Big Man is watching, because these are some EXTREMELY difficult good deeds!".
"I'm touched, lass. You really are a good person, deep down inside!"
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" "Well, I have to tease SOMEONE around here! And since I'm planning on helping you...don't look so surprised, lass, we can't be on opposing teams!...You'll have to do, as there's no one else about." I scan my thoughts hard for a victim (any victim!) besides myself he could torment...when it suddenly clicks. An evil grin spreads wide.
"Actually, there is another victim you could always toy with...His name's Raoul, and he's the cause of the heartbreak of a friend of mine..." The look of recognition and small smile tells me he knows the back story, and a certain French Viscount would have a rough time for a while...
"So where is the quirky couple, anyway, Quinn? I have a feeling there's something you're not telling me." I smile and fill him in on everything. Oh yes, studying at the hands of the master has certainly paid off, as a look of respect rises on his face.
" I'm proud of you, girly. Soon I'll have to watch my OWN back! Now if you'll excuse me, I don't want to be around when they return. I'm just observing right now...have to get the feel of the situation, y'know!" "I understand." So with a wink and a turn, he ran off fast as a bullet to his own small home, always there for his visits. Things are about to get very interesting... Speaking of which, where the heck are the Princess and the Pea-brained?