Hey, thankyou so much to everyone who's let me know they want more, it's great to know that people are still interested. Thankyou especially to the people who've expressed concern for my health, it means a lot, and I am getting better-it's just a pretty slow process and kinda irritating. So there's gonna be three more chapter's including this one. I'll get the other two up as soon as possible. And I hope it's worth it.

Disclaimer: Still not mine

Eight hours later she sat up in her hospital bed, staring at the hypnotic movement of Castle's chest as air came in and out while he slept. The swelling on his face had gone down fractionally and he now looked injured in a more fixed-up hospital way as opposed to the just-got-mugged way he had had eight hours previously.

She turned to look at the cards from Ryan and Esposito at her bedside and laughed quietly to herself at Espo's brief comment 'I've seen worse' before the more serious line 'Don't ever do that to me again Beckett'

A knock on the door made her whip her head around, an action which she regretted as it made her neck sear with pain

'Detective Beckett?' Alexis was standing in the doorway. She was wearing her own clothes but had a small dressing on one side of her forehead and her arm in a sling.

'Alexis?' Beckett smiled at the girl 'Hey, kid. You okay?' Alexis nodded a little sheepishly

'Yeah thanks but I…I actually came to see how you were,'

'Oh,' Beckett was a little taken aback 'I'm…I'm not doing so bad, thanks,' she replied as Alexis took a tentative step into the room looking slightly embarrassed.

'Alexis, are you sure you're okay?' she asked anxiously 'Maybe you shouldn't be discharged yet…'

'No,' the girl reassured her 'I'm okay, really, they just said I have to stay awake and under observation for a while,'

'Then what's wrong-are you still in pain, I can get a nurse if you-' she started to move without really thinking about it

'No! Please…I really am fine,' Alexis took another few steps, trying to stop the detective from moving too much 'I just…wanted to talk to you, that's all,'

'Oh,' Beckett was a little confused, but at least the girl didn't seem mad at her, not yet anyway 'Well, erm, you wanna sit down?' she nodded to the empty chair near where the girl was standing, opposite the one where Castle was still sleeping soundly.

Alexis sat down nervously 'Um...thanks,' she mumbled in reply

'So…what do you want to talk about then?' Beckett asked after a minute or so of awkward silence

'Well I…I actually wanted to…thank you,' she started looking intently at her fingers as she twined them together in her lap

'What?' Beckett had not been expecting that

'Well, I don't completely remember everything,' she carried on 'I wasn't exactly totally with it. But I remember you being there, when it was just the two of us, I remember you looking after me and comforting me and stuff,'

'Alexis that's…that's not anything you need to thank me for,'

'That's not it,' the girl said bluntly, finally looking the detective in the eye 'I know you were all grateful that I was out of it. You didn't want me to know what was going on, but I'm not stupid and just because I wasn't moving doesn't mean I wasn't taking things in. I know what that guy wanted and I know that you think you've slipped it past me, that I don't know what you did, but I do. I know that any one of us could be sitting in a hospital bed with those marks around our throats,' Beckett's handed drifted inadvertently to her sore neck 'but it's not any of us. It's you. And you made that choice, even though when you made it you probably didn't think that you and those bruises would ever even make it to a hospital bed,'

'Alexis,' she sighed 'Look it really doesn't-'

'Don't you dare say it doesn't matter!' Alexis fumed 'You basically sacrificed yourself for us. That does matter,'

'But why? Someone had to-'

'Why?' she interrupted, jumping out of her chair ad beginning to pace 'Because I don't think you understand how stupid I've been being. I was going on and on and on at my Dad, saying how you were messing him around, how you were no good for him and you didn't care. I thought that you were just playing with him…letting him traipse around after you for fun. I got so overprotective and I don't' know…it's like I decided you were the enemy or something. It didn't even cross my mind that you might genuinely care about him, about any of us…I was being stupid and selfish and immature and I'm just…I'm just really really sorry,' she finished, slumping dejectedly back down into the chair as Beckett watched her, eyes widened in surprise

'Alexis that's…that's okay…you don't have to apologise,' she said quietly

'Yeah I do. I've been so completely horrible about you and you…you did such a selfless thing for me. I don't even know how to begin to repay you,'

'Alexis, it's fine, I swear,' Beckett told her earnestly, looking the girl right in the eye 'You're acting your age. Honestly. If I were you I would have felt the exact same way…and things haven't exactly been as easy as they could have been with your dad lately…I get that you must have been pissed with me. It's not a big deal, I promise,'

Alexis looked sheepishly at the detective again before she suddenly jumped out of her chair and wrapped her arms around her 'Thank you,' she murmured into Beckett's shoulder and the detective let out a small chuckle in response

'Hey, that's okay,' she replied and then added 'Ouch,' as Alexis squeezed a little too hard

'Oh, sorry,' Alexis stood up again, smiling apologetically 'Anyway, I should probably go-Grams is waiting,'

'Sure, is she alright?'

'She's got a few bruises but apart from that she's fine,'

'Good,' Beckett let out a small sigh of relief

'She's actually talking about how the experience will aid her future acting ability,' they both laughed at that until Alexis' face grew serious again 'Detective Beckett?'

'Yeah?'

'I'm gonna be back tomorrow to see sleeping beauty over there,' she nodded towards her father 'Would it be okay if I came to see you too?' she asked, biting her lip

'That'd be great,' Beckett smiled back at her 'And you can call me Kate by the way,'

'Kay,' Alexis smiled a little shyly 'Bye, Kate,'

'Bye, Alexis,' she answered the girl's wave as she scurried out of the room and back down the hall in search of her Grandmother.

Beckett sat in the quiet for a minute, thinking to herself until a sound of movement made her turn to the occupied chair by her bedside. She smiled a little as she looked into his opening eyes 'Hey you,' she breathed

He smiled back at her gently 'Hey yourself,'

…

They sat there in silence for a while, just staring into the depths of each other's eyes. Not moving, not blinking- just staring into each other. Slowly, Castle reached out his hand to take hers, careful of the fresh cast that encased her arm but still not moving his eyes from her face and she responded by lacing the tops of her fingers through his.

'Castle?' she asked gently, moving her other hand to his arm 'You okay?' he didn't answer, just continued to search her eyes

'Castle!' he jumped slightly

'What?'

'What is it? She squeezed his hand reassuringly 'What's wrong?'

'I…I just…' he trailed off and she looked at him, her eyes gentle but questioning 'I'm just pleased you're okay. I mean…for a minute there I thought…I thought I'd lost you again,' he moved his other hand to carefully place a strand of hair behind her ear

'Lost me?' she smiled softly and looked down at their intertwined fingers 'You really think it's that easy?' she looked back up to meet his eyes as he laughed, but all too soon his face had fallen dark again as he moved his free hand to cup her cheek. Taking in his expression she pushed herself up a little further in the bed, ignoring her body's protests against the movement, so that she could look at him better 'Castle, I'm not going anywhere-I promise,' he moved his hand from her cheek back to the arm of his chair and looked away 'Hey? Castle? I swear, okay?'

'Don't swear,' he almost growled it 'Don't promise either,'

She stared at him, her eyes widening in confusion 'What? Why?'

'Because,' he turned back to her, his eyes pained 'Because that's not a promise you can keep,'

'What?'

'You always leave,' he was speaking quietly but there was anger in his voice

'I…what? I don't leave, when have I ever left?'

'Three months, Kate, three months and I'd only just got you back again,' her heart twisted and she knew he was right but she couldn't help getting defensive

'Castle c'mon you know I needed that time. I was sorting myself out, I was healing. I was always gonna come back,'

'But I didn't know that-did I? For all I knew you were done with me and were never coming back. Do you know? Do you have any idea how that felt?'

'Yes! I do, because you did it to me the year before, okay. Look Castle, I'm sorry. Really. If I could go back and undo it I would, but I can't. I told you I was sorry and I swear I'll never do it again!' she had pushed herself completely upright now, supporting herself with her good arm, trying not to focus on the way her battered body complained, staring right at him in a vain attempt to get him to meet her gaze

'I don't believe you, Beckett, I can't believe you,'

'Well try harder,' she begged him 'Please! I need you to know you can trust me,' he looked down at his lap, refusing to answer her 'Look, Castle, you can hate me okay? You can hate me, you can judge me, you can ignore me if it makes you feel better but please, please -you have to trust me,'

'Why?' he asked 'Why should I trust you?'

'Because you…loved me,' she said it quietly, her voice full of sadness 'Surely that counts for something,'

'I loved you? What the hell do you mean I 'loved' you?' he finally turned to look at her

'You told me that you loved me…and maybe you don't anymore, maybe you haven't for a while, but you did once-and that has to count,'

He was staring at her, his face somewhere between anger and shock 'Beckett, what the hell are you talking about?'

She looked away from him, trying hard to bite back the tears that were dangerously close to falling 'When I was shot you…you told me you loved me,' she said it almost defensively 'and I know that on the phone you said you didn't but I…I figured that maybe you did once but that you just…didn't anymore…' she trailed off and finally braved a glance up at him, still trying desperately to contain the tears 'Castle?' she asked in response to the vacantly angry expression on his face

'How…Beckett how can you possibly think that I don't love you?' he shook his head and ran a hand through his already tousled hair 'What the hell do you think I'm doing here if I don't love you? Enjoying the view?'

'But I…you…you said that you didn't!' her tone was accusatory

'I was lying!' he shouted at her

'Why?' she was shouting at him now too 'Why the hell would you do that?'

'Because he made me!'

'So?'

'So? What do you mean 'so'?'

'So did you not think about the effect that might have on me? Telling someone that you don't love them and that you lied about it before?' she had her hand fisted in to the sheets and was staring daggers at him, all the while trying to ignore the hope that was making her heart beat faster in her chest

'I didn't know you heard me!'

'Yeah well I did hear you,'

'And were you thinking of telling me that sometime? I mean I get that you don't really care but a token 'Hey, Castle, I appreciate the sentiment but I'm just not really a writer kinda gal,' would have been nice,'

What? 'Wait…you think I don't care?' her chest tightened as his words really hit her 'How could you possibly think that I don't care about you?'

'Well you don't!'

'Yes I do! Of course I freaking care,'

'Oh and disappearing for three months was the perfect way to show that!'

'I was confused, I needed time to sort things out-you knew that!'

'Oh c'mon, Kate, that's as thin as it is stupid,'

'Stupid?' she fumed 'Why's it stupid?'

'Because it…just because it is okay. Look, you don't have to lie anymore, I'm a big boy-I can handle it. You don't care- I get it. You don't have to worry about me anymore because I'm not gonna bother you,' he got up to leave and they both realised that their fingers were still laced together. He tried to free his hand but Beckett clenched hers into a fist, yanking his arm back to stop him moving away

'Richard Castle don't you dare walk out on me!' she yelled at him

'Why not?' he shot back through gritted teeth

'Because you cannot seriously think I don't care,'

He snorted 'Why?'

'Why? Hmm…let me see…because I've spent the last 48 hours being used as a human punching bag by a serial killer who was trying to get to you. Because I let said serial killer take me away to murder me to protect your family. And- most importantly- because I love you,'

Lemme know what you thought?