Chapter five! Wow! Never thought I'd get this far with all the times I end up forsaking my stories! May go back and make small edits to this story later, but whatever!
Marilyn the Musical…
Ivy Lynn's POV
Agh Derek is gonna kill me. He's still pissed about this whole thing and I just had to sleep in this morning! After noticing how late I woke up I jumped into the shower and literally ran back out again, throwing on the closest pieces of clothing I saw and ran out the door, completely forgetting the sheet music I'd need for the day and to brush my hair. I didn't even bother with the makeup just to make sure I don't get any later.
As I run in, Tom pulls me aside, looking concerned. "You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I tell him, moving to get into the studio.
"Are you sure?" he asks, pulling me in front of a mirror. I really did look like crap. My hair is dripping wet and hanging in messy curls around my face. My face seems a little pale without the music and I just overall look bad.
"I overslept…" I tell him.
Tom sighs. "Everything else okay?"
"I'm fine, alright," I tell him.
"Go home and rest…" Tom tells me.
"I'm fine, Tom," I sigh, I really need to work before they make me quit.
"Your hair is wet, and you look pale," Tom says, looking at me. "Go home, eat, and get some sleep."
"I ate on the way here," I lie.
"What did you eat?"
"A bit of fruit…" I say, referring to a tiny mandarin orange I stuffed into my mouth whole as I ran out the door.
"You've gotta eat more than that…" Tom says, sounding a little exasperated.
"I just got it when I was leaving my apartment," I tell him.
"Do I have to take you home and cook for you so you'll eat?"
"No."
"When was the last time you ate a real meal?" Tom asks. He's so concerned with my eating habits, but he really doesn't have to. This is how I've always eaten…
"Last night?" I say, but it comes out sounding more like a question that an answer.
"When I cooked… so it looks like I'm taking you home so you'll eat…"
"Tom…" I sigh. I really wanna work today. I haven't been allowed to work much since the doctor said I'm pregnant, but I really wanna keep working on Marilyn before Derek tries to fire me again.
"You told the doctor I'm the baby's father so I might as well act like it," Tom tells me, "You need to be at home, resting."
"I'll be fine, I wanna keep working here while I still can," I tell him, and he looks like he understands what I'm saying, but he's still being stubborn about this.
"Not on a few bites of fruit," he says, "At least let me go get you something"
"Fine…" I say, starting to get annoyed. I really don't need everyone watching my every move. I can take care of myself, I always have.
"What do you want?" Tom asks.
"There's a Starbucks down the street…"
"You can't have caffeine," he says. "Try again."
"I didn't mean the coffee, Tom…" I say flatly, "They have coffee cake and stuff."
"Alright fine. Just take it easy"
"Alright…" I sigh.
Later…
I'm in the middle of 20th Century Fox when I can feel a slight burning in my throat. I need to keep going, though, and I ignore it, trying to push it back down. I still haven't eaten that much yet, so all that's trying to come up is acid which hurts my throat and is making it harder to sing. Finally I can't hold it down any longer and I run out and into the bathroom.
As I'm kneeling over a toilet, still gagging and throwing up what little I did eat today, I can hear footsteps coming to the door of the bathroom.
"Ivy? Everything okay…" I hear Tom say, sounding worried.
"I'll be right out," I call back, flushing the toilet and rinsing out my mouth with some water.
"You sure you okay?" Tom asks.
"Yeah," I lie. My throat still is burning so I cup my hand under the sink and drink some cold water. It doesn't help much, but it makes my throat a little less sore.
"I'm pretty sure I heard you throwing up," Tom says. "Come on Ivy, I'm trying to help you…"
"Okay I'm alright now," I say, walking out and starting back into the studio when Tom grabs my shoulder.
"Ivy, be honest," he says, "Did you just throw up?"
I sigh. "Yeah."
"You're taking a break," Tom says, "I don't want you to overwork yourself"
"I'll be fine, I'm not overworking myself."
"I don't want you doing anything that could hurt you, or the baby… just ten minutes to make sure you're not gonna get sick again"
"Fine…" I finally say. I know I'm not gonna win this one. Julia will probably say the same thing when I come back in.
"You've gotta think about the baby Ivy."
I sigh. "I know, but I can't just stop…"
"It's ten minutes Ivy," Tom says, putting his hand on my shoulder. "If you keep this up, I'll get your doctor to put you on bed rest…"
"Tom, I don't need bed rest!" I practically yell at him. I am nowhere near needing bed rest! And I'd be so bored, there's nothing to do. I've probably seen every movie in my apartment at least fifty times, more for the Marilyn movies since I started studying those.
"Not yet, but if you don't relax and take time to take care of yourself you will."
"I'm trained for Broadway and I spent my whole life in the theater, I'm not used to slowing down like this…" I tell him. I just wasn't raised to not be performing onstage, and just as a New Yorker I can't just not be doing anything. No one in New York can just sit around, and I'm pretty sure anyone would agree.
He squeezes my shoulder, "I know it's different, but after you have the baby you can do things the way you want to."
"I just need something to do…" I whine, I've been dying of boredom lately whenever I'm not at Marilyn, and I'm gonna die of boredom at Marilyn if I can't perform either.
"I know," Tom says, "You can still come here, just not really do much"
Julia Houston's POV
Ivy's having a hard time right now because she's a little sick because of the pregnancy. She showed up this morning with wet hair and no makeup on. I decide to check on her. she's sitting in a chair so I sit next to her, and she mumbles a small hi. I can just tell she's not feeling well at all.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask her, I think she's been on the fence lately.
"I can't keep it," she sighs.
"Alright. But you can see it whenever you want…" I remind her, I'm not gonna keep her from seeing her own child if she wants to see it.
"Okay…" she says, closing her eyes.
"In order for it to work Derek is gonna have to sign away his rights…" I explain.
"I think that's going to be the easiest part of the whole process…"
I sigh, "Yeah… you're probably right"
"He doesn't want anything to do with it," she tells me, I think it's sad that this baby will know who it's father is but he wants nothing to do with the child.
"I know. But it's a good thing Tom is helping you through this," I say, giving her a small smile.
"He pretty much drags me home to cook me food… it's kind of weird…" she tells me.
"He's just looking out for you… he doesn't want you to do this alone…" I say to her, none of us, except Derek want her to do this alone. It's not easy.
"He's still angry at Derek. I can't exactly figure out why," I tell her.
"Uhm… he's the father," she says, sounding a little annoyed.
"Yeah. Are you sure Tom is gay? After this whole thing happened I've been questioning it…" I ask her, he's been so good to Ivy I'm quite sure right now.
"Why would you be questioning it? I heard he was interested in Ellis," she asks, sounding a little surprised.
"The way he's been taking care of you. It's just different for him," he's acting as if he's the father and the one that's gonna help her through all of this.
"He just cares… I got close to him when I was working on your last show with him," she tells me.
"I know. Everything is gonna be fine…" I reassure her, I think she needs to hear this a lot more now than she used to.
"It would probably be best if I didn't see the baby after its born for a while, it might get confused…" she quietly says.
"Alright… I just want this to work out for you," I tell her, I can understand why she wouldn't want to see the baby, I think she just wants to pretend this never happened after the adoption goes through.
"Well this is doing something for both of us, you wanted to adopt a baby…" she says, trying to smile.
I gently squeeze her shoulder, "Yeah, I'll talk to Derek so you don't have to." It seems as if every time they talk now, he ends up yelling at her and that's just not what she needs right now.
"I don't think it really matters who tells him, it won't make a difference to him."
"I just don't want him to upset you again, that's all…" I say, trying to get her to calm down.
"I'll be fine, I don't think he's going to yell again," she quietly says.
"You never know with him…" I remind her.
"I know but I was just being overemotional too…" she says, it's normal for her to be so emotional right now, she's got a lot going on.
"That's okay. You were scared and he was angry. It just wasn't the best time," I remind her, that's never a good mix to talk about something so important like this.
"Don't worry about it," I tell her, but she's quiet.
I give her a small smile… "I'll just tell him when I see him…"
Ivy Lynn's POV
I hate having to just sit here. Derek isn't letting me dance and I'm not supposed to be acting that much either. So pretty much I just have to sit here and watch Karen be Marilyn. I couldn't be any more bored. I know that I was getting sick earlier and I still feel pretty squeamish, but I'd rather be dancing and risking getting sick than just sitting here feeling like crap.
After the number is done Michael comes up to me and sits by me. "Hey," he says.
"Hey…" I sigh.
"How're things going?" he asks.
"Just bored…" I say, looking at him.
"Yeah… you feeling okay?" he asks. He probably saw me run off earlier and I still probably look like crap with my hair everywhere and I didn't even put any makeup on before I got here.
"Yeah…" I say, "Just haven't been sleeping as well."
He sighs. "That's normal though. Have you thought about what you're gonna do after the baby's born?"
"Yeah, I have," I say sadly. I know what I'm doing but I'm still not completely sure if that's really what I want to do or not.
"Do you know what you want yet?"
"I think I'm gonna have Julia adopt it but I've been thinking twice about that…" I sigh, looking at the floor.
"I know Julia would be a good mom, but have you ever been around kids before?" Michael asks me.
"No… I never really got the chance," even when my mom was all crazy just wanting me to do Broadway when my brother was around she wouldn't even care about me at all. I was always either at a theater or wherever my brother was, so I never got to be around kids. I had some friends who have kids, but we began to grow apart or lose contact soon after, they'd be busy with their families and I'd be working on a new Broadway.
"Maybe that's part of why you're scared about making this decision," Michael says.
"I don't know how to take care of a kid…" I sigh, remembering he has a son. "You have a family, what's that like?" I ask, maybe if he can tell me more it'll help me think about this more.
"It's hard sometimes, but my wife understands," he tells me, "I'm sure she'd let you come over for a while…"
"Oh…" It's probably easier for him than it would be for me, he's got his wife. I'm single and Derek pretty much hates me now so I can't really get help like him… I could ask Tom, but he's got better things to do than help me.
"It's less scary if you've been around kids before you have one of your own."
"I wasn't really planning on having my own kids…" I sigh, "I didn't want to end up like my mom." They say most people end up like their parents and raise their kids the same way, but I don't want to be like that. My mom raised me by herself and she was crazy. She didn't really care about me as me as much as me for my career.
Michael sighs. "What was your mom like?" he asks.
"She was one of those crazy stage moms…" I say, still looking at the floor.
"If you know you don't want to be like her, you can try to change that," he tells me, putting a hand on my shoulder comfortingly.
It felt good, him caring and trying to help me feel better about this, but I soon move so he isn't touching me anymore. "Her career ended because of me and it made her push me to make that dream happen she never got," I say, looking back up at him.
I was born under similar circumstances as the baby I'm having, my mom used to use the casting couch to get her lead on Broadway, but then she won a Tony when she proved herself talented. But she still went on trying to seduce directors to make sure she got the leads, but instead she ended up with me. Nobody cast her since.
"I can tell that's not what you wanted, but if you decide to keep the baby, you can do all the things you wanted your mom to do, that she never did," Michael says.
"I didn't know what I wanted to do. The stage was my whole life."
He sighs. "You don't have to push your kid that way if they don't want it, I'm not forcing my son to do anything he doesn't want to."
"You probably weren't raised that way," I tell him, he has two parents and he has wife to be with him and his son.
"I wasn't, but I know it can be hard when you are…"
"I don't really make enough money to keep the baby anyways…" I sigh. I barely eat out and I always buy the cheapest foods I can find in the store. I used to live off of Starbucks coffee every morning and I barely scrape by with the rent every month. I don't even go see a doctor yearly because of the steep price for an appointment.
"You have friends that want to help you, you don't have to be scared to ask," Michael says.
"I can't ask," I sigh. My friends are all in the Broadway business and most of them aren't much better off. Karen's one of the best off out of all of us actors and ensemble members, but that's because she has a well off boyfriend that works for the city.
"Yeah, you can…"
"I work with all my friends," I tell him, "Dancers don't get paid much either."
He sighs. "Do you have any other family besides your mom?"
"No. My dad left my mom when he found out about me." He was a director like Derek, he never really cared about the rest of us and just cared about two things: making a smash and getting laid. When he got my mom pregnant with me, he just told her it was her own problem and left her.
My brother, on the other hand was a planned baby. My mom had finally found a man to marry and he wanted another kid, since he couldn't care less about me. My brother was always the real focus between the two of us. I used to get along with him, (to a degree…) so I guess I could've asked for help, but he's not in the best shape either so even if we were still somewhat close it would be pointless to ask him.
"You have us here to talk to… if you still want to come over, just let me know," Michael says. He really looks like he cares,
"Alright," I say, feeling a small smile on my face.
"It's gonna be fine… you're just worrying so much," he tells me. He's probably right.
"How can I not? I'm gonna be a single mom actress in New York City… I don't even have another job." Most of my other friends who do Broadway and the ensemble like me have second jobs in places like the ensemble, but I never really got around to doing that. I'm just not good at doing anything other than singing.
"I know, but Julia wants to help you…"
"I can't ask Julia for anything," I say. I really don't want to. I already work for her in two separate shows and she pays me for both of them. I can't just ask for more help when she's already helping me.
"Yes you can, you were able to ask her to think about adopting," Michael says, but I asked her because I already knew she was trying to adopt. I wouldn't ask her to think about adopting if I hadn't already heard about the Chinese baby.
"I already did," I say.
"I know, it's okay to let someone help you," Michael says.
"I can't…" It's not letting someone help me that's the problem, it's nice to know the want to, but I've done everything on my own for so long that it just feels weird when someone else does stuff for me, and I don't wanna ask Julia for more money when she's already technically my boss. I know I barely scrape by for the rent, but I can't just ask for more. She's got her own stuff to pay for.
"Why not?" he asks, "It's okay to ask every once in a while."
"If I decide to keep it I have to try to take care of it myself…" I tell him.
"Yeah, but if you need something it's okay to let us know."
"I'm just trying to figure out how to do this…" I sigh, "I might need to get another job since I can't do Heaven anymore."
"That's could help, I can talk to my wife and see if she'd help you take care of the baby," Michael
"You don't have to…" I say.
He sighs. "You sure?"
"Yeah," I say.
"Alright, but if you change your mind, I can always ask her," Michael says.
"Alright," I sigh.
Karen Cartwright's POV
It seems as if I'm the only one who hasn't talked to Ivy about this, well, since she told me about it. I know a lot more has happened since, and I've seen her talking to Julia a lot. I wonder what's going on. We're on break right now so I decide to talk to her, she looks really bored anyways. I would be if I had to sit in a theater and watch them work on a play I was supposed to be in. "Hey."
"Hey…" she says, smiling. It could be fake for all I know.
"How're you doing?" I ask her, there's no way this is easy for her.
She sighs, "Fine. I don't really even get why I still even come here… I can't really do anything."
"Probably since you don't have anything else to do. You are my understudy, so it makes sense," I tell her. It's actually good she's here, she's watching everything that's going on. So if, heaven forbid, something were to happen to me before she has the baby, she could step in.
"Yeah, but it gets boring… I just don't like staying at home alone…" she says, but it makes sense.
"That makes sense. I don't really like being by myself sometimes either…" it's the truth, if Dev is working I'm not a huge fan of being alone in our apartment.
She sighs, "What do you think I should do about this baby?"
"What have you been thinking about doing?" I ask, that's a big question, and she really needs to think about this.
"I'm letting Julia adopt it but I'm not sure if I want to or not…" she replies. That would explain why she's talking to Julia so much.
"I know Julia would take really good care of it, and you could still see the baby if she adopted it." She already has a kid, I'm sure she would be a great mother to this baby too.
"Yeah…"
"I know Derek hasn't been really supportive, and that can make this ten times harder than it should be," I tell her, I don't understand why he's this way though, she needs him to help her through this, he is the dad.
"He told me I have to do it all myself so Tom has been helping…" she tells me.
"That's good, do you think Tom would help out if you kept the baby?" I ask, he probably would, they've been friends for a long time.
"Probably. Do you think I should?" she asks.
"You should talk to Tom about it before you decide, but it really is up to you," I suggest, I don't want to make this decision for her.
"Tom isn't really that involved… he's still gay," she says, but looks defeated.
I sigh, "But he could still be there to help you out… you need somebody"
"I know, I can't do this myself…" she tells me. She really can't, she's single, and I don't think her family is there for her.
"That's why we want to help you, you've just gotta tell us what you want" I say, I don't think she's ever had anybody help her.
She sighs, "I just don't know what I want..." it's still early, so she has some time to decide.
"Who else have you talked to about this?" I ask, she's probably asked everybody what they think.
"I asked Michael…" That's good, he has a family, and is on Broadway. So I'm sure he was able to help her.
"What did he say?"
"He said its hard but his wife understands and supports him being an actor. He also told me it wouldn't be easy for me to raise the baby myself…" she tells me.
"It's hard being a single mom, but if you think it's something you can do, then there's nothing wrong with keeping the baby." If she keeps the baby, it'll be good for the kid. But it wouldn't really have a supportive family, and I think she wants that for the baby.
"I just don't know if I can do that…" she says.
"What does your mom think?" I ask.
"She's still just mad that I got pregnant. She said I'm ruining my career…"
I sigh, "That doesn't help anything…" My mom would probably say the same thing, but end up being supportive and help me.
"She's right…"
"You don't know that. I'm sure there's something else you can do," I tell her.
"I don't know anything outside of theater… I was raised to believe that theater was my life."
I sigh, I guess that's what happens sometimes when you live here your whole life. "Well I'm sure there will be other parts you can get once you have this baby."
"If I keep it though I can't do Broadway at the same time…" she says, it'll be hard, but if she meets somebody she'll probably be able to do it.
"I know…"
She sighs, "I just don't want to be like my mom."
"That makes sense, but if you know that's not what you want to be, you can change that," I explain, she knows what she didn't like growing up, so she can make sure her kid doesn't have to experience the same things.
"My mom had me after sleeping with a director. Her career fell apart after that…"
"You don't have to let this ruin your career," I tell her, if she works hard enough she can probably still get a lead.
"It still might."
"You don't know that," I remind her.
"I'd be a single mom and my career is ten years in the ensemble. I don't think that's going to get me anywhere," she tells me, sounding defeated.
I sigh, "You're gonna figure this out, it's okay."
She just sighs, and seems a little annoyed.
"You're just worrying too much," I tell her, it's pretty obvious that she is.
"I can't help but worry…"
I sigh, "You're gonna figure this out, you have Tom and Julia to help you too."
"I know…"
"So you can talk to them too," I tell her, but before she can say anything else, Derek calls us back together to work again.
Julia Houston's POV
Ivy's been talking with Karen, and now she's coming to me again. She doesn't really have any family to confide in, so it makes sense as to why she wants to talk to all of us. "Hey…"
"Hey…" she says, trying to smile.
"What's up?" I ask her.
"I was just talking to Karen…"
"Oh, what did you talk about?" It's good that she feels like she has friends here.
"I don't know what I wanna do…"
I sigh, this has been really hard for her, "Still on the fence, huh…"
"Yeah…" she says, wringing her hands.
"That's okay, you still have a while to think about this," I remind her. She's still got a couple months, so it's okay if she doesn't know right now.
"I know but it would probably be best to just know now…" she says.
"Yeah, I promise Frank and I are gonna take good care of your baby, you don't have to worry," I reassure her, we've
"I still just sometimes wonder what it would be like if I had a normal life… my mom never let me when I was younger…" she tells me, and she sounds a little upset.
"If you decided to take some time off to be a mom, we'd still be here to support you," I tell her, she just needs a friend to help her.
"You would?" she asks, almost like she doesn't believe me.
"yeah, we know it's not easy to do it alone," I tell her.
"That's what Michael said…"
"What else did Michael say?" I ask, it's good that she talked to him, he has a family and knows what it's like.
"He just said how it's still hard but his wife understands…"
I sigh, "You can be a good mom Ivy, I can help you."
"I'm still just afraid of doing it by myself…" she hangs her head, if she did keep it, I would make sure she had everything she needed and Frank and I decided we would help her if she asked us to.
"It's okay to be scared, this is something completely different for you," I remind her, she's quiet.
I squeeze her shoulder, "Just try not to worry."
She sighs, "Okay…"
"You can call me if you need to talk about anything, I want to help you," we're just going to have to keep reminding her this, it's new to her and I don't think she's realized it yet.
"Alright…" she quietly says, looking really distracted.
Alright, guys, listen up! As you can see, Ivy's super on the fence about keeping this baby or not. And guess what! You get to decide what she does! Emily and I've got two versions written up and ready for you, so now you get to say! Do you want Ivy to keep the baby, and try to raise it as a single mom, or do you think she should give it to Julia and try to move on with her life? It's your choice! All ya gotta do is press the little purple review box!