Hey everyone, thanks for reading this. This is my first published fanfic. Please let me know what you think.
Chapter 1 – The Response
"No!" His voice echoes throughout the kitchen. "Absolutely not, Katniss! I won't let you do it!" Peeta's nostrils flare with every heavy breath he takes. I can see him holding his rage back, fearing he might send himself into an episode. His hands begin to slowly curl into fist. I follow his veins up his arms as they begin to rise out of skin. Finally my eyes meet Peeta's gaze and I launch into action.
I now know what goes through my mother's head, and what went through Prim's head, when an injured person was brought into our house.
I carefully place my hands on Peeta's face. His eyes dilate and for a second I lose him. Then I feel his body relax. His beautiful blues eyes return to me.
"I want you to listen to me, Peeta," I say in my most soothing voice. "My name is Katniss Everdeen. We were in the Hunger Games together. You have loved me since we were five. We are happily engaged and I love you more than anything. This is real." I lean my head into Peeta's and let our lips touch. I feel his arms slowly began to embrace me. His fingers trace a 'M' on my back. 'M' for mockingjay and letting me know he came back to me. I have him back again.
Peeta breaks the kiss and takes a deep breath. I run my fingers through his hair. I tell him that everything is going to be okay. That I'll be safe and sound in his arms in no time.
"I can't let you. I can't risk losing you again." Peeta's voice shakes as he says this. I look into his deep blue eyes and see tears forming. I smile to cheer him up, but I once again make things worse. I use my thumbs to wipe away the tears as they roll down his cheeks. We stand here for quite a while. I finally convince him to go rest for a while. Episodes usually take all the energy he has out of him. I lead him to our bedroom and hold him until I know he is asleep.
I know I shouldn't do it, but I slip away and gather my bow and arrows. I stop at the front door and listen to hear him breathe. Guilt gets the better of me and I quickly climb the stairs. I quietly open the door and cross to my dresser. I open a top drawer. In it I find the spile from the Quarter Quell, the locket with mother, Prim, and Gale's picture, the silver parachute that once held pearl Peeta gave me, and my mockingjay pin.
I grab the mockingjay pin and hold it in my open hand examining it. The Capitol almost didn't want me to have this back. Luckily, Effie Trinket of all people saved it from being placed in a museum. Effie held a lot of power as the museum's curator. She convinced the Capitol that it held too much meaning to me. Part of the agreement that she made was that Beetee's bow, the mockingjay dress and mockingjay uniform remain as part of the exhibit about me. I had no quarrel with that. Those items held too many dark memories for me. They even managed to find my outfits, or what remained of them, from both Hunger Games.
I cross over to Peeta on our bed. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. I sit on the edge and brush the blonde hair from his eyes. I kiss his forehead. He wakes up slightly and smiles at me. I place the mockingjay pin in his hands.
"I'm going hunting. I'll be back soon," I say with a slight smile. Peeta takes in a breath and looks at me. It's a dark look. One he has never given me before. I'm about to say that I'll stay when he speaks first.
"Next time, just kick me in the privates to let me know you're leaving instead of waking me." He lets a giant grin slide across his face. I should have seen it coming. I'm about to say I'll stay just so we can have sex when again he cuts me off. "Go. We both know I can't get us fresh meat."
"Oh berries for that matter," I say with a quick kiss to his cheek and skip out the door, down the stairs and out the front door. It isn't until I make it out of Victor's Village that I realize that I made a joke about the Hunger Games and someone dying. Guilt begins to slide its way into the front of my mind. I stop and think to myself, "My name is Katniss Everdeen and I should not feel guilty about it. It was out of my control."
I feel relax and continue to walk to the Meadow. Dr. Aurelius' advice keeps play over and over in my head. Before I realize it I'm at Gale and mine place among the rocks. I take in the sight before me. The Sun is just beginning to rise above the mountains to the east. I sit and eat a small snack of cheese bread. I watch as the first rays of light start to penetrate over the mountains. The rays seem to set the autumn foliage on fire. The colors shine beautifully. I make a mental note to bring Peeta here since we don't have a camera. He would love to see this.
I immerse myself in the oranges, yellows, and reds leaves. They make me feel warm. Like I'm in Peeta's arms. Suddenly I'm cold. I look up and see the towering shadowy figure above me. I scramble to my bow and prepare an arrow. The figure steps back.
"Just a little too trigger happy with that bow aren't we, Catnip?" the voices says with a chuckle. I stumble to my feet and move towards the side. Gale's face comes into the light. A smile is widening across it. I don't return it nor do I lower my bow.
"What do you want?" The smile vanishes quickly. Gale sits down in our nook. I can see the bags under his eyes. His face is worn and beaten. The stylists must spend hours on him to prepare him for his interviews on television.
"You still haven't forgiven me then?" My silence gives him his answer. "I figured as much. I can't express how sorry I truly am for what happened." The expression on his face tells me more than his words. "I think about it every time I close my eyes. I see Prim's face right before the explosion. Then I see her body burning. Her face twisted in agony. Then I wake up."
"I didn't have time to see that. I turned away and was set on fire." My voice is cold and my words sharp. Gale looks at me.
"Katniss, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that to you! I'm…Can you put the damn bow down!" A flock of birds fly into the air. I lower my weapon but still keep it prepared. He stands up and begins to pace around the rock. I decide to return to my spot and finish my cheese bread. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"I'm sorry I was aiming for your heart." I hope that he takes this sincerely. I'm never really good at making things sound nice. I take his laughter as a good sign.
"I got a job transfer," he says casually as if the subject hasn't changed. "Beetee and I both did. We decided that weapons weren't what we wanted to be part of our lives."
"You work with Beetee?" He nods his head. "So that is why you've return to 12. Are you here to convince me? Tell me all the benefits of it? Make me forgive you?"
"Not at all." Gale stops and looks at me. "Actually, I came here for me. I've given up all hope on you. Even before my mother told me about your engagement. Part of me even gave up when you went into the Quarter Quell. Even then I could tell how important he was to you."
"If you gave up on me," I say slowly, "then what's in it for you?" I hit a nerve somehow. He glares at me.
"Prim may have been your actually sister, but she was family to me too." I am hit hard by his words words. I often forget how other people are affected by the same things that I am. But I won't let him have this one.
"Then why did you sacrifice her to end the war?" I try asking with a harsh tone, but I can't conjure one up. Instead it some out like a normal question. "I can't begin to believe that you actually feel bad about Prim, when all during the war it was you suggesting we play by the Capitol's rules. Sacrifice our own for the greater good. And what about the children? Sure they were Capitol children. But is that any more their fault to be born in that life than it was ours to be born in District 12? I know guilt when I see it. I think you just force yourself to be guilty." I gather my stuff quickly and head down off the rock. I know Gale is motionless. I reach the bottom of the rock when I hear him shuffle. I look to see him looking down on me.
"Is that a no?" He looks desperate.
"Any chance to save Prim, even if it involves going back in time, is worth it."