Talk Show with Bartimaeus
Chapter 5: Another Flashback?
Disclaimers: I don't own the Bartimaeus Trilogy...
Crickets: chirp
Me: Does anyone still care?
Crickets: are silent
Me: kewl!
"Well we're back," said a very disheveled looking Bartimaeus. He glared at Nathaniel. "And now that most of the coffee hyperness has worn off-"
He was interrupted by a sudden giggle fit from Kitty.
"Some of the hyperness has worn off, we can continue with the show."
If a person suddenly came into the room to find this on the TV, it would be quite awkward. Especially if they didn't know what happened before this.
This is what they'd see:
All seven guests tied to chairs with duct tape. The host tied to his chair with duct tape. The host's eye twitching as he glared at a certain flinching guest who happened to be Nathaniel. A strange girl giggling her head off. And the rest of the guests just staring into space.
Anyone would be confused in that person's position.
So...
"Let's just get on with it!" some random person in the audience said.
Bartimaeus just looked at him evilly (these people were in a major caffeine hangover).
"So!" He said looking back at the guests, his normal happy self finally showing through the frustration this caused him. "Since we have nothing better to do, we may as well talk about all the stupid things we've done in our lives! We'll start with..." He thought for a moment. "Nat-er-John!"
"WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY?" he screamed tipping his chair over.
Barty sighed as the camera man who had lost his camera due to an coughaccidentcough came over to pick up Nat's chair. Along with Nat since he was duct taped to it.
"I know something that happened to him!" said Whitwell.
"Well of course you do!" said Devereaux, "You ARE his master!"
"Yeah! Yeah! Well this one time, he stole a rubber chicken."
"Wow...I'm sure you were so proud of yourself Nat...John!" said Bart sarcastically.
"OMG! I was! It was, like, the first thing I ever stole!" Nat exclaimed, a tear in his eye.
Whitwell continued with the list of "incidents".
"Then there was the 'potter plant incident'." She said.
"You mean the one that happened today?" asked Barty remembering the camera.
"What? Oh no. This happened a while back! Like a year or two ago."
"Oh-"
Nat interrupted.
"Yeah! I was feeding my pet turtle Sammy when I tripped over my shoelace and rammed into a prettyful potted plant! IT EXPLODED! All over the place! It was, like, everywhere! GAH! ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW!" he started to suck his thumb.
"Um...yeah," continued Whitwell. "Well really it when kinda like this..."
FLASHBACK!
"Lalala!" sang Nathaniel as he walked toward his turtle's cage.
I'm surprised that thing was still alive with an owner like Nat...nevermind...
As he walked, he tripped over his untied shoelace (because, for some reason, he was wearing his shoes inside...).
"YAAAAAAAHH!" he screamed as he fell toward the potted plant by the door.
When he rammed into it, (takes deep breath) the plant rolled out the door, down the stairs, out the door, on to the street, caused a ten car pile up, and made the traffic jammed for five miles straight! Phew!
END FLASHBACK!
"...and that's what happened!"
Crickets: chirp
"...Um...What an "interesting" tale Nat!" Commented Barty, "Whoops! Did I say that? I meant JOHN! Yah..." He added. Luckily, no one was paying attention to him. They were all Ooh-ing and Aah-ing at Jane who was perched precariously atop a chair.
"Um...Yeah...This isn't a circus kids!" said Barty. "Wait a minute! How'd you get out of the duct tape ties!"
"I dunno..." answered Jane looking up, which caused her to lose balance and topple off her perch.
Suddenly they were all out of their...uh...how should I word this creatively...imprisonments.
Apparently the tape just suddenly...disappeared!
Then Harry Potter ran onto the stage being chased by Buckbeak (he forgot to bow).
"HAHA! YOU ARE ALL FREE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he screamed.
Oh yeah! I don't own Harry Potter either!
He disappeared...
Buzzer!
"OOOOK! Time for a short-"
He was interrupted by a random person in the audience.
"SHORT? YEAH RIGHT! THOSE THINGS ARE SO LONG THAT I FALL ASLEEP!"
"SHUDDUP!" screamed Bartimaeus.
"Right! We'll be back after this break!"
WOOT! Chapter 5! I hope everyone reviews! Please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease? Thankies! Thankies! I've been writing this from the top of my head so it might take a few days for me to update! Be patient! Maybe you can stay preoccupied by...REVIEWING!